Family Affair (43 page)

"What the hell?" Chase said.

"More like what the fuck? It's a stupid centerpiece."

"Addison, language. I hope you didn't get that from me."

Addison rolled her eyes. "Sorry. My mom and Stella put me in charge of the awful centerpiece."

"How does it work?" Chase said, staring at the bits and pieces of dried flora.

"You're supposed to stick all this stupid stuff into the pumpkin—artistically of course, and then the whole gross ensemble goes on the table and gets in the way of the food. My mom saw it in that Martha Stewart magazine, which I am going to start intercepting because it gives her strange ideas about crafts."

"Why isn't she doing it?"

"She's busy helping Stella catch some cheating bastard husband in the act." Addison bounced some odd looking dried spore thing on the table.

"We're going to have to teach Bud the earmuff thing."

"I can tell you right now, Bud is going to swear," Addison said.

"I know," Chase said, plunking down in a chair next to Addison. They stared morosely at the unmade centerpiece.

"What am I going to do?" Addison said.

Chase brightened. "I know. Close your eyes. I'll hand you things and you stuff them in the pumpkin."

Addison looked dubious. "What if it turns out ugly?"

"You're suffering a creative block. If you get it started then we can always fix it later. Besides, do you really care?"

Addison considered this. "No, I don't. Just because I drew pictures when I was five and stuck them on the fridge does not make me Picasso. I'm literary. Words are my art. I'm not some floral arranger."

"Precisely. Let's make a go of it."

When they were done, it wasn't exactly hideous, but it was close.

Graciela came in, gasped, laughed hysterically, held her sides and left. Gitana was kinder. She attempted to help. It did look a little better when she was finished.

"I should have brought some orchids. Where did you get all this stuff?" Gitana inquired.

"Hobby Lobby. I hate that place. My mom is always trying to get me to try some craft thing."

"Like what?" Chase asked.

"Like make little bracelets with multicolored plastic beads or paint designs on flip-flops. I pretty much cured her, though. I convinced her to buy me a Shrinky Dinks kit and I almost burned the house down. It was beautiful. The house stunk like burnt plastic for weeks." Addison gloated.

Chase made a mental note not to force crafts on Bud. If she had an artistic bent they would assist.

Just then Stella and Peggy walked in talking animatedly. They stopped.

"Oh, Addison, you did a great job. It looks just like the picture," Peggy said. She patted Addison on the head.

Addison muttered, "She's big on things looking like the picture."

Chase nodded sympathetically. She did not admit that when she cooked she liked things to look like the picture. It was a character flaw, but she couldn't help herself. She found it comforting.

Delia and Jasmine came in.

Graciela rushed out of the kitchen and nearly flattened Delia. They fell together on the couch. Jacinda, who'd been picked up as well in the Jasmine-taxi, came toddling in with the menudo. Chase took it from her. Jacinda, upon noticing Graciela being overly physical with Delia, whacked Graciela with her rosary beads, and called her something horrid in Spanish that ended in El Diablo. She smiled apologetically at Stella and Peggy and followed Chase into the kitchen.

"That child," Jacinda said, shaking her head.

"I know. She'll grow up someday," Chase said half-heartedly.

"Ha!"

Rosarita cried out, "Mi amiga, come taste this. I need your help." The rest of the conversation was in Spanish.

Chase set the menudo on the counter, wondering at this strange extended family. She'd gone from being a hermit to arranging a feast. She sighed heavily and took four Modelos and a grape juice for Gitana out to the living room.

It seemed like an eternity before the food was on the table. Chase sat at one end of the long cherry wood table with its awful centerpiece and her mother at the other end. Chase was to do the toast. Stella gave her the look—the one that said this is the culmination of all your handiwork—do not fuck it up.

Chase wanted to dive gracefully into her now clear pool of complete understanding. Instead, she figuratively jumped, held her knees to her chest and executed a gargantuan cannonball. Had there been water the dinner guests would have been soaked. "Here we are one conception later, my straight best friend now a raging lesbian, my sister un-in-law almost tame and my mother has morphed into a ball-busting sleuth."

Everyone was silent. They stared, seeming to await the brick through the window.

"And I think it's absolutely marvelous—the best year of my life and I love you all."

Stella smiled. "That wasn't exactly what I had in mind but it will do."

"Grace and subtlety are not part of my make up. You must beg my pardon." Chase bowed and sat down. Glasses clinked.

Fine bone china with a delicate pattern of pink primrose was filled and happiness like a blanket wrapped itself around her. Jacinda and Rosarita were still praying. Graciela got impatient.

"Damn it, Chase pass the f—uh, the posole."

Chase reached over their bowed heads. She put turkey and tamales side by side—indicative of her two families. She was pondering the cultural melting pot as she cut her turkey. She looked over at Gitana who was staring into her lap. Chase leaned over. So did Addison.

"She's leaking," Addison said, pointing to the mahogany wood floor of the dining room.

"Oh, fuck, your water broke. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Chase had gone from bliss to panic.

"Chase, stop that foul language this instant," Stella said, getting up calmly.

Jacinda rushed to Gitana and held her hand, murmuring soothing words. "It's all right, mija."

Stella and Jacinda gendy lifted Gitana out of her chair.

"I'm not ready for this," Chase said.

Addison kept staring at Gitana's protruding belly like she was waiting for alien spawn to rip open the flesh and jump onto the nearest bystander.

Lacey grabbed buns, cranberry sauce and turkey and began making little sandwiches. "Get the mashed potatoes," she commanded Jasmine. She wrapped the food into the linen napkins.

Stella looked at Lacey unperturbed as the cranberry sauce leaked through her best table linens.

"I'll buy new ones," Lacey said, stuffing a tamale into her mouth. "I promise."

Or that's what it sounded like to Chase. "How can you think about food at a time like this?" Chase shouted at her. Just then she felt an excruciating pain in her shin. She bent over and grabbed it, squealing in pain.

"I'm sorry. I had to," Addison said.

"Why?" Chase eeked out.

"You were in shock," she replied.

"Good call, Addison," Stella said.

"Maybe we should go to the hospital," Gitana suggested as a contraction made her double over.

"Hummer," Chase said.

"Chase, Jacinda, Graciela, Addison and myself in the Hummer. The rest of you follow," Stella said.

They instandy obeyed her. Chase hopped in the driver's seat.

"Dude, can you do this?" Graciela asked as she helped Stella load Gitana in the front seat, easing the seat back a little.

"Yes, I can do it. I need a focus."

Addison yanked the bear and car seat out and threw them in the back cargo area to make room for everyone. Chase started the car and calmly pulled out of the driveway. She pulled onto the street with equal care. It looked good. Then Gitana had another contraction. Everyone stared at Chase. She looked at Addison in the rearview mirror.

"Time them," Chase told Addison.

Addison nodded. She set her watch.

Aside from gripping the wheel tightly, Chase drove with care and efficiency. She pulled up into the emergency room driveway. She leapt out of the Hummer and before anyone could commend her efforts, she ran screaming into the emergency room. Before they had Gitana out of the car, Chase had an EMT, a fireman and a nurse in tow with a gurney.

Gitana was mortified. "I'm fine, really," she said as they loaded her on the gurney.

"I know, sweetheart, expectant..." The nurse paused and looked at Chase and she started again, "Expectant partners are always a little hyped-up." She took Gitana's pulse. Gitana had another contraction. She frowned. "I think we better get you inside."

Chase hung by her side, clinging to the gurney.

Graciela called after her. "Dude, the keys."

Chase looked at her blankly. Graciela pointed to the Hummer. Chase threw her the car keys, narrowly missing her mother's head.

"Don't try out for the softball team," Graciela said. She moved the car.

Stella and Jacinda came in with Chase. Addison went with Graciela. Chase fervendy hoped Addison wasn't going to persuade Graciela to tell her dirty stories. She would've prevented this if Gitana's contractions weren't occurring at such quick intervals. At this rate, she thought as they hastily went down the hallway, Bud was going to blast out any minute.

Gitana gripped Chase's hand. "Chase?"

"Yes?" Chase eagerly gazed into her eyes, fully prepared to offer hope, praise and encouragement—to rise up to her utmost being.

"I don't want you there."

"What!"

"She's right, Chase. You'll only make a mess of it," Stella said.

"But I want to. I have to," Chase protested.

"She's right, mija," Jacinda said.

The nurse whispered in her ear things Chase did not want to know. Chase gagged a little. Stella gave her the you-know-when-you've-been-defeated look.

"All right. But anything," she said looking at Gitana, "unusual occurs I'm there."