Family for Keeps & Sadie's Hero (4 page)

His mother gave the first slices to Steve and Tess. “Then it’s settled. Casey, you’ll have to find yourself a job if you aren’t going to college right away.”

Tess was amazed at how rapidly everything had been decided after such a diverse and lively debate. In the end it had been Mac’s opinion that counted. She got the impression he had become the father figure for all his brothers and sisters. What a wonderful burden to feel so needed by so many. Again she thought of her plans, which had died that day on the mountaintop in South America, and her throat constricted.

When the dinner was over, Kayla and Casey, Mac’s sisters, started clearing the dishes while everyone else moved toward the living room.

“Can I help you?” Tess asked, needing to feel busy before her thoughts of the past took over.

“Sure. The more the merrier,” Casey said and headed for the kitchen.

Tess picked up her plate and Mac’s. He whispered as he left, “Don’t believe a word they say about me. They’ve been dying to get you alone all evening. You just fell into their trap.”

“Since I don’t listen to gossip, you don’t have a worry,” Tess quipped as she strode away. The truth of the matter was she didn’t want to know anything else about him. The more she discovered the more she liked, and she couldn’t afford emotionally to become involved with anyone, especially him.

It didn’t take one minute for the sisters to start the interrogation. “How did you two meet?” Kayla asked casually as she scraped food off the plates.

“Mac hasn’t been too many places since the accident,” Casey added.

“Sis, give her a chance to talk.”

Tess smiled. Casey obviously didn’t know all the finer points of an interrogation. “We met at the hospital.”

“Hospital?” Kayla’s forehead creased with a frown. “What was he—oh, I know. It must have been when he went to see Tommy.” She looked expectantly at Tess for confirmation.

“Yes, he mentioned a little boy named Tommy.”

“Mac hates hospitals, but he still visits the children whenever he can. Hospitals remind him too much of Dad and Sheila.” Casey cut in with another tidbit of information.

It was clear to Tess that if she ever needed to know anything about Mac it was Casey she should pump for information.

“It was hardest on Mac having to watch Dad die slowly. They were so close,” Casey continued as she opened the dishwasher. “Then of course, when Sheila delivered—”

“Casey, aren’t there any more dishes on the table?” Kayla asked, exasperated at her younger sister.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Go check anyway. Then see if Mom needs anything. I think we can manage.”

“But…”

Casey’s protest died on her lips at the look her older sister gave her. She went meekly out of the kitchen.

“Casey is the kind of source the
National Observer
would love to get hold of.” Kayla cast a glance at Tess. “But it is true Mac was pretty torn up about Dad.”

In other words, Tess dear, you’d better have honorable intentions toward the man or get lost. “You have nothing to worry about from me,” Tess answered the unspoken question as she began to load the dishwasher. My intentions are to get lost—just as soon as the next date is over.

Mac peered into the kitchen. “Tess, I’m sorry to interrupt you two getting to know each other, but I have an early day tomorrow. Ready to leave?”

“Yes,” she answered, hoping she didn’t appear too eager.

“Thanks for your help,” Kayla said as Tess joined Mac.

“I figured when Casey came into the living room you were in big trouble,” Mac whispered when they were alone in the hallway. “Kayla fancies herself my protector from the female population.”

“So, you don’t have an early day tomorrow?”

“I always have an early day. I think dawn is the best part of the day.”

“Where’s Amy?” Tess asked, hoping the little girl could act as a barrier between Tess and Mac on the ride to Tess’s apartment. Tess was beginning to feel she needed all the help she could get to stay away from Mac. Her acceptance of a second date was proof she had a hard time resisting him.

“She’s staying with her grandma tonight. So it’s just you and me.” He winked at her as he turned to say his goodbyes to his family in the living room and kiss Amy good-night.

Mac hardly gave Tess time to say her own goodbyes before he whisked her away from his large family. In the small car she was reminded of his powerful presence, which saturated every inch of the interior.

“I’d forgotten how overwhelming my family can be to a newcomer.”

His family overwhelming? There’s no way they compare to him. “Protective is a better word.”

“We almost scared off Mary when Justin first brought her around to meet the family.”

“I’m not easily scared,” she said, then wondered why she had.

He looked at her, his gray eyes penetratingly enticing. “I can see that.”

The words, spoken in a husky timbre, tore at her already battered defenses. His study of her was so blatantly male that an ache deep inside threatened to rip the last of her defenses to shreds.

“You more than interest me, Tess. You’re intriguing. One part of you is so innocent. The other I suspect has seen things that would make my stomach wrench. We’d better go. This certainly isn’t the time or the place for this discussion.”

Discussion? More like a temptation to forget everything she had promised herself, Tess thought and clasped her hands so tightly her knuckles turned white. But still she felt his lure—a lure that spoke of happier times, if only she could forget and forgive herself.

The drive to her apartment was done in silence. All of a sudden Tess felt physically and emotionally exhausted. She was beginning to wonder if she would have enough energy to walk to the front door.

At her apartment, Mac stood between her and the door. “I’ll pick you up at seven. Dress casual.”

“I can meet you at the restaurant.”

“Is there a reason you don’t want me to pick you up here?”

“Makes it seem like a date when aren’t we just two friends going out to dinner?”

He stepped closer, slowly raising his hand toward her face. “Friends do go in the same car to places. And while we’re on the subject of Saturday night, I’m paying for dinner. No Dutch treat, if that was what was going to pop into your head next.”

“Fine,” she murmured, deciding her brain had stopped functioning. She couldn’t move an inch, so entranced was she by his presence. There was nothing friendly about what she was feeling.

When his fingers finally touched her cheek, she wanted to lean into him and seek his support because her legs felt so weak. For a few blissful seconds she wanted to forget her past, but reality was always just under the surface, ready to invade her thoughts. She felt again the pain of losing Kevin, of holding him in her arms as he lay dead. She felt again the anguish she had experienced when she had survived and no one else had.

Finally sanity returned, prodding Tess away from Mac. She fumbled for her key. “Thanks for a nice evening. It’s late, and I do have an early morning.” The words tumbled out in a coherent pattern that amazed her because inside she felt as though she were trapped in an English garden maze, lost and alone.

She finally found her key in the bottom of her oversize purse and quickly inserted it into the lock. “Good night. Thanks again.”

Mac laid his hand over hers, the touch warm, intimate. “We’re still on for Saturday?”

She needed to say no. She said yes, turned the knob and escaped inside. Leaning against the closed door, she listened as he left. With each step he took, she felt more alone, the way she wanted it ever since Kevin’s untimely death. Then why did it bother her that such a nice man was walking away?

M
ac listened to the recording for a second time as though that would erase the words on the machine. “Mac, this is Tess. I’m sorry I’ve got to cancel our date this evening. Something has come up.”

He frowned, rubbing the back of his neck while he played the message a third time. Yep, he was sure of it. Something was wrong. He could hear it in her voice. That settled it. He was going over there, and if she answered the door, he would act as though he hadn’t received her message. The quaver underlining her words drew him to her. He had to go and make sure she was all right.

The pounding in Tess’s head matched the pounding of her heart. She reread the letter from Kevin’s mother, the fine, neatly written words leaping off the page as if the woman was in the room with her, shouting at her. Tess squeezed her eyes closed, remembering the last time she had seen Kevin’s mother, at his funeral. She had created a hysterical scene in front of everyone in her congregation, wanting to know why Tess had survived when her son hadn’t.

Tess’s hand shook as she carefully placed the letter on the coffee table then switched off the lamp next to the couch. Relieved that the shadows of dusk crept into the room, she stretched out on the sofa, hugging one of the throw pillows to her chest. The letter had restated the woman’s ramblings at her son’s funeral. Again.

Tess stared at the ceiling until the blackness totally swallowed the light and she couldn’t see anything. She kept her mind blank, needing to think of nothing at the moment. But slowly thoughts slipped inside to torment her. The rebels had left her to die, but she hadn’t. She had survived when no one else had.

For the past two years she had run from what had happened at the mission, but it was becoming more difficult to hide from the memories, to forget—to forgive. Weariness weaved its way through her, making her eyelids droop. Her grip on the pillow eased as the lure of sleep engulfed her.

Tess threw her head back and took a deep breath of the crisp mountain air, clean, fresh. Not a cloud in the sky, and the temperature a perfect sixty-five. What a glorious day! She looked at the ring on her left hand, its diamond glittering in the sunlight. In a few short months she would be married.

Someone called her name. She glanced up.

Kevin stood in the middle of the Indian village nestled at the bottom of a mountain. He waved to her, a wide grin gracing his mouth. She started toward him, eager to share her news about the little girl brought in that morning who was finally responding to treatment.

Crack!

Kevin’s smile crumpled as he collapsed to the ground, a bright red spreading on his white shirt.

She froze, her eyes widening at the pool of blood around Kevin. Then her world completely shattered as a horde of rebels from a mountain stronghold descended on the village like a swarm of locusts.

Screams pierced the clear mountain air. The scent of gunfire accosted her and propelled her forward—toward Kevin. Ten feet away. Five.

The insistent ringing wormed its way into her nightmare, pushing Tess toward wakefulness. She blinked, trying to focus on the present.

The sound persisted, filling her mind with urgency. She rolled to her feet and fumbled for the switch on the lamp next to the couch. Brightness flooded the room, causing her to blink again.

Shaking the haze of sleep from her mind, she started for the door. When she peered out the peephole, she saw Mac standing on her front porch and immediately opened the door, forgetting to mask her dismay at seeing him.

“Are you ready—” His smile of greeting died when he looked into Tess’s pale features, her eyes lackluster and pain-filled.

“What’s wrong, Tess?”

She combed her fingers through her hair, staring at a place over his shoulder before swinging her gaze to his. “I left you a message. I can’t—” Her voice broke, and tears welled into her eyes.

Mac stepped into the apartment and shut the door behind him. He drew her into his arms and pressed her head to his shoulder. “I know. I ignored the message.” He’d had every intention of letting her believe he hadn’t received the message, but suddenly it was very important for him to tell the truth. “I could tell something was wrong. That’s when a person needs a friend the most.”

The way he said
friend
made the tears flow. She had been running for the past two years and had avoided getting close to anyone. Now suddenly this man wasn’t allowing her to remain aloof, and she was found she didn’t want to. She needed to know someone cared, if only for a short time.

She felt the dampness of his shirt against her cheek and the strong stroke of his hand down the length of her back. She smelled his scent, sandalwood and soap. She heard the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear and felt as though its soothing rhythm could erase the remembered sounds of gunfire that echoed through her mind. And for a while it did. It had only been one of her nightmares. This was reality. Denver. The children she helped. Peter MacPherson.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Tess shook her head, her throat still too tight to say anything, her fragile emotions raw and near the surface.

He continued holding her for a few minutes while she drew in calming breaths and tried to right the chaos she had felt deep inside since that day her life had changed. When she pulled back, still loosely fitted in his embrace, she peered at him through red-rimmed eyes.

“I must look a sight.” She swiped her hand across her cheeks to rub away any evidence of her losing control. This was the second time he had found her crying in their short acquaintance.

His mouth quirked in a smile. “Maybe a sight for sore eyes.” His arms fell to his sides.

Again she fingered her hair, trying to bring some order to its unruliness, and returned his smile. “If this is your way of cheering a gal up, it’s working.”

“Good, that’s what I came over here to do. Give me some coffee and I’ll regale you with stories of my family. That ought to make anyone thankful they don’t have to walk in my shoes.”

“I hear your teasing tone, and don’t forget I’ve met that family. They are dears.”

He tossed back his head and laughed. “Dears? My, I’ve never heard them referred to as dears.”

His infectious laughter spread through her, warming her inside. She imagined his younger brothers, all over six feet and broad-shouldered like him, and knew they wouldn’t want anyone to think of them as dears. “Well, at least your mother, daughter and sisters are.”

“Oh, but the trials and tribulations of being the head of a large family. Casey was over at the house first thing this morning wanting me to help her find the perfect job. I said something about working at the foundation for me, and she immediately said no. She wants a job, but she’s being awfully picky about it. Says she can’t work for me.”

“What does she like to do?”

“She likes working with people and she’s good with computers.”

“We have an opening on our floor for a unit secretary if she wants to apply at the hospital.”

“I’ll mention it to her. She loves children so she might go for it.”

“Come on into the kitchen. I’ll put some coffee on and even fix us something to eat.” She stopped after only taking a few steps and turned to him. “That is if you haven’t had anything for dinner yet.”

“Nope.” Mac followed her. “Do you have a roommate?”

“Yes, but Delise is gone for the weekend. She went to see her parents in Aspen. She wanted me to go but I—”

“—had a date.”

She paused at the counter and glanced over her shoulder at him. “Well, yes, that, too. But I promised Jan I would work for her tomorrow. She needed some time off while her son was home from college.”

“How long have you been a nurse?”

“Seven years.”

“Have you only been a pediatric nurse?”

“No.” Tess turned her attention to making the coffee, concentrating on keeping her hands from trembling.

“What else have you done?”

She hadn’t heard him approach, but he stood right behind her. She sucked in a deep breath and held it for a long moment. “A little bit of everything,” she finally answered, aware that her voice quavered.

He laid his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “I’m sorry. Have I hit a taboo subject?”

She swallowed hard. “My first job as a nurse was in the emergency room in a large city hospital. I saw more that year than a lot of people do in ten years. I moved around after that, but I’ve decided working with children is what I want to do from now on.”

He positioned himself next to her, lounging against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. “I see your fascination with clowns extends to your home.”

After putting the coffee on, Tess leaned next to him and looked about her. Her clown collection overflowed from the living room into the kitchen as well as her bedroom. “I started collecting them when I was a little girl. I can’t go by one in a store and not buy it.”

“I can tell. How many do you have?”

“I stopped counting after a hundred.”

“Well, I know what to get you for your birthday.”

“Yeah, I’m easy to buy for.” She tried to ignore the implication of his teasing statement, but she couldn’t. It suggested they would have a future. She saw how at home he appeared in her kitchen, and her wariness pushed to the foreground.

“Of course, a friend has to keep straight which clowns you have, and I’m sure there will come a time when you’ll have everything there is to have.”

She shoved away from the counter. “I always say if you’re going to do something you might as well do it right.”

“An all-or-nothing kind of person.”

“Yeah, I’m afraid so. I tend to jump in with both feet.”

“What happens when you discover there’s no water?”

Tess went to the refrigerator, some of life’s painful lessons washing over her. “It hurts when I land.”

One side of his mouth lifted in a self-mocking grin. He bent and rubbed the leg that had been in a cast the week before. “Boy, I can attest to that.”

She chuckled, glad he was putting the conversation on a light note. Searching her refrigerator, she came up with the makings for ham and cheese sandwiches.

“Can I help?”

“You can set the table while I make the sandwiches. The plates and glasses are over there, and the silverware is in that drawer.” Tess pointed with the tip of a butter knife.

While she prepared their light dinner, she listened to Mac move about her kitchen as though he had visited her often and knew where everything was. Again the impression he was comfortable, at home in her apartment besieged her. That thought brought a halt to her movements as she slid a glance at the man who dominated any room he entered. He filled the space with his muscled body, but mostly his presence radiated confidence and determination. He had a direction to his life that Tess envied. Once she’d had a path to follow, but she’d lost her way.

“The coffee’s done. Do you want any?”

His question broke into her thoughts. “Yes, please.” She hurried to finish the sandwiches, realizing she was thinking too much.

When she sat at the table, the scent of brewed coffee wafted to her. She inhaled the fragrance, much too aware of the man next to her. After adding sugar to the coffee in her mug, she lifted it to her lips and took a sip.

He picked up the salt and pepper shakers and examined them. “Clowns. My daughter would like these.”

“Most kids respond to clowns.”

“Is that why you started your clown therapy?”

“Yes. I wanted a way to take their minds off why they were in the hospital. Most of the time I succeed.” Tess began to eat her sandwich, enjoying the sharp taste of aged Cheddar cheese and the tang of the mustard.

“But not all the time?”

“Every once and a while I run across a tough cookie.”

“Like Johnny?”

“Yeah, he’s been a challenge.”

“He’s had a lot of hard knocks for a ten-year-old.” Mac popped a potato chip into his mouth, then took a bite of the ham and cheese.

“I just hope Mrs. Hocks finds a relative for him to live with.”

“Who’s Mrs. Hocks?” Mac washed his meal down with a swallow of coffee.

“His case manager.”

“What’s gonna happen to him in the meantime?”

“He’ll live with a foster family. He leaves the hospital on Monday afternoon.”

“What does Johnny think about that?”

“He tells me he would rather be on the street taking care of himself.”

“Do you believe him?”

Tess tilted her head to the side and thought about the last time she saw Johnny, his mouth set in a defiant frown. “Yes, I’m afraid he believes he’s better off by himself. He’s been shuffled between foster parents before.”

“Then, do you think he’ll run away?”

“He has a habit of doing that when faced with something he doesn’t like.”

Mac speared her with a sharp gaze. “Most people do.”

She was close to squirming under his unrelenting stare. She felt as if he had delved into her mind and glimpsed her innermost thoughts. She dropped her glance to her plate and fingered what was left of her sandwich. “Sometimes running away is the best thing for a person. The only thing.”

“Do you really believe that? Do you think that’s what’s best for Johnny?”

She lifted her gaze to his probing one. “No, it isn’t. He needs a home, someone to love him. But he doesn’t need to be shuffled between different foster parents just because he may be a little difficult.”

“I agree.” Picking up his half-eaten sandwich, Mac took another big bite and chewed slowly, the whole time his attention fixed on her face, a thoughtful expression in his eyes.

She blushed, wishing she could read what was in his mind. Or maybe she didn’t want to. The flare of interest was more than she could handle. She wanted no complications in her life, and Peter MacPherson was definitely a complication. She looked away before he saw more than she wanted him to see.