Fantasy Attraction (Hidden Secrets) (24 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

~COLLEEN~

“I do understand.  Quit being so damn pissy!  I’m doing what I can!” I yelled.

“Don’t get mad,
Angel.  I need to know you’re safe when I’m not around and if you don’t do this right you won’t be.”

“You were perfectly fine before.  Why all of a sudden does it matter now?”  I knew why it mattered, but I was irritated, sick, and hot.
 

He wouldn’t back off me on how my stance isn’t right.  I’m doing this wrong, I’m doing that wrong.  It was all I could take and I snapped.  I regretted it the minute I snapped, but I couldn’t take it back.

“Because I almost fucking lost you!  Damn it! I was dead inside while you were gone.  My life had stopped because you walked out and stupidly went to a known gangster alone and unable to protect yourself.  I can’t stand the thought of fucking losing you again!  It would kill me!” He bellowed back.

The veins in his neck stood out as he yelled at me. He looked like he was about to lose his top and the thought of that happening made me feel worse for my outburst.  Carson is everything to me,
the frustration just got the best of me.  When I looked back in his eyes, it almost looked like tears were dancing in them.  With a huff, he turned and headed for the door, punching the wall as he walked out.

“What the hell?” I breathed.

“Colleen, I know you’re wearing out, but he is too.  He’s talked to me some about what happened while you were gone. Honey, did you know he was kicked out of the gym for a week?”

I shake my head in answer.  He sighs.

“Look, I know I’m part of the reason you are flying off the handle right now. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for you to have never known about this until now, but you can’t take that out on him.  He is only doing what he can, honey.”

I just stared up at Geno.  We had the same eyes and hair and if I were
honest, I look a lot like him.  How could I have not noticed that dad and I didn’t look alike? Of course I never saw or even knew of Geno to spot the differences.  His eyes change and almost seems like fear shines in them.

“Will you ever forgive me?  Will you let me in your life now?”

Unable to give him an answer on that right now, I just turned and walked out in search of Carson.  I was on my way to the garage when I heard the shower running in our bathroom as I ran past our room.  Opening the bathroom door slowly, I find him standing under the water with his hands resting on the wall and his head hung down and my heart breaks.  This strong and amazing man was hurting and I was the cause.  Quietly I stripped out of my clothes and climbed into the shower behind him.  Wrapping my arms around his waist, I began to kiss his back.

“I’m so sorry.  I love you.  Forgive me?” I whispered in between kisses.

He turned around in my arms as he gently cupped my face in his hands, making me look up in his face.  Carson stared into my eyes for a moment as his thumbs moved back and forth on my cheeks.  I could see sadness and love in his eyes, but I also saw worry. It was the sadness and worry that caused my lip to tremble. He ran his thumb over my lower lip before lowering his head and pressing a tender kiss on my lips.  Pulling back, he looked down at me, the light from the small little rectangle, window poured over him, shading part of his face while brightening others.  It created a mood in the shower that was enhancing our feelings.  My lip quivered once again, but this time it was because of the mess I have gotten us into.  My fear of waking up and him deciding it was too much coming to the forefront.  I clung to him in my desperation to not lose him.

“No,
Angel,” he breathed. “Don’t think like that. I’m going nowhere.”

A sob escaped me and his mouth claimed mine the second after. Carson moved his hands back from my face into my hair as he walked me back into the wall.  I ran my hands from his waist up his sculpted abs that contracted as I moved across them to his defined chest, across his broad shoulders until I wrapped my arms around his neck. The feeling of him under my hands was electrifying to my body and mind.  There was no way I would ever get enough of this man.
Pulling myself as close to him as I could get, I deepened the kiss further.

Carson’s hands ran up and down my back before running up to my breast, tweaking my nipple into a harder point than it already was.  My back arched off the wall and my head fell back against the wall
with a moan.  He trailed kisses and nibbles across my jaw and down my neck until he took my breast into his mouth.  My hands clamped behind his head as I moaned my pleasure.  I felt his hand move down my stomach until his fingers slide through my folds.  Sucking in a breath, I rocked my hips into his hand.  Slipping a finger in, then another, the heel of his hand rubbing on my clit, it was an overwhelming sensation.  Between the mood in the shower to the feel of his hands and mouth on me it pushed me higher and I started to build.  My hips rocked faster into his hand and his fingers moved faster in and out of me.

“Ah, Carson,” I breathed.

“Come for me baby,” he whispered before taking my mouth in a fierce kiss. 

That was all it took for me to explode as I moaned into his mouth.  My hips rocked with more urgency against his hand and I rode my climax out on his fingers.  Carson lifted my leg and wrapped it around his waist and entered me without hesitation. I cried out at being filled by him.  His thrusts were slow and my leg I was still standing on started to tremble.  His hands moved to my hips and lifted me pressing me into the wall.  Wrapping my leg around his waist, I began to raise and lower myself on him. Moving my hands up to the ledge of the small window, I used it for the support I needed to keep moving.  His thrusts became faster and more forceful.

“Yes, Colleen.  Yes, just like that,” he breathed.

Gripping my hips tighter, he pulled me away from the wall and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.  Moving to the bench, he shifted us around to where my back was to his chest and I sat in his lap. Using my hips, he began to raise and lower me on his cock.

“Oh shit,” I whispered.

“Move faster,
Angel,” he breathed in my ear before biting my ear lobe.

Turning at the waist I draped my arm over the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss as I moved faster and his thrusts became more urgent. Moving his hand down to rub my over sensitive clit, I exploded.  It started small and built higher and stronger before I could hold no longer.  Throwing my head back, I cried out his name as my orgasm took over me.  Carson stood up and bent me over at the waist as he pounded into me
forcibly.  It was enough to roll my orgasm into another.  Crying out loudly as I grabbed his legs, he slammed into me a few more times before calling out my name and emptying himself inside me.  Once his small thrusts were finished, he leaned down and kissed my back a few times before pulling us over to the bench.

It was the moment or maybe it was just being with Carson, but my emotions were on overload and I broke down and cried into Carson’s neck as he cradled me.
He just held me tighter and rocked us slowly side to side.

“It’s okay,
Angel.  Just let it all out.  I’m here for you.”

“I never…meant…for any of this…to fall on you.”  I choked out between cries.

He surprised me when he started laughing.  I sat up on his lap and looked at him with a mixture of confusion and hurt.

“Oh no baby, it’s just that I have been thinking that same thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“
Angel, your past wouldn’t have found you if it hadn’t been for this psycho woman.”

To my surprise and his, I started laughing.  Carson joined in shortly later.  After sitting in each other’s arms for a moment longer we showered and got out. Once we were dressed we walked out to the living room and sat on the couch, just talking when Geno came walking in from the garage.

“Where did you go?”

“I went and picked up a few things.  Carson, can I get your help carrying some of this stuff in?”

“Sure,” he said before kissing me and walking out with Geno.

What the hell was going on?

I stood up to go find out when a wave of dizziness took over.  I stumbled a little grabbing onto a shelf.  In the distance, I could hear a door opening and voices, but I couldn’t make anything out.  Stumbling some more, I reached for something to stop my falling, but nothing was there.  Vaguely I heard something falling and some yelling before it was lights out for me.

“Do you remember what I told you?”

“Daddy?”

“You never let anything stop you from achieving what you want.  I didn’t let anything stop me.  Now look at what I have achieved.  I’ve got a thriving business and most importantly…I have you my little flower.”

“Why do you call me flower?”

“Because you brighten up any place you are at
, just as a nice bundle of flowers would do.”

“Daddy can I ask you something?”

“Of course.  You know you can talk to me about anything.”

I paused for a
moment, unsure if I should ask him, but I wanted to know too. “Why do you stay with her?  Why can’t we just run away and get far away from her?”

“Oh darling, there is so much more to the situation than you know.  If I could just take you away, I would.”

“But she hurts me.  She makes me bleed and I’m hungry unless you are home.  How can you make me stay there? Do you love her?...More than me?”

When I looked up into his
eyes, I saw the tears forming. It made me instantly regret saying anything to him.  Just as I was about to apologize, he cupped my face and kissed my forehead.

“You are my life.  I loved your mother at one point, but it’s hard to love someone who doesn’t love you back.  You’ll understand when you get older.”

“I’m not going to fall in love.  If this is what love leads to, I don’t want it.”

“Oh flower, you will find love, but you wait until that love is something you can’t stop thinking about.  You want it even though you think you shouldn’t.  You hang on to that and give
yourself fully over because that is when the love is real when neither of you can stay away from each other.”

“Is that how you feel about Harriet?”

He hung his head sadly, but never answered me.  We heard a loud bang in the distance and he immediately shoved me behind a bush and stood up.  I peeked out to see what was going on and I saw a tall man, standing over my dad.  I couldn’t hear what was being said when the man started hitting my dad.

“Daddy no!” I screamed.

Immediately arms tightened around me and I screamed again.  I fought to get free, but I couldn’t get free.

“Shh
Angel, I have you.” A familiar voice said.

I turned to find Carson holding me sitting on the floor.

“Carson?” I breathed.

“Yes,
Angel.  I’m right here.  You fainted.”

I could see the look of concern on his face.  Curling into him, I absorbed his warmth to help push the coldness I felt from that memory away.

“I…I called Jack.  He’s going to be here any minute.” He said nervously.

If it weren’t for the fact that I was concerned for myself just as much as he was, I probably would have protested.  But the fact of the matter was I never fainted and that concerned me.

“It’s okay, babe.  I understand why you did.”

Jack showed up only a few minutes later and he and
I talked in the bedroom quietly about all the things that had happened at while I was held there and what I have been experiencing afterwards.

“I need you to come to my office so I can get some blood work done.  There will be nothing on paper, I promise.  It sounds like it could be many things, but the best way to rule it all out is doing some blood work.”

“Thank you Jackson.  I know you must think so horribly of me, but I swear this is the reason I tried to stay away.”

Jackson took a hold of my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “Colleen, I have never thought anything bad about you.  I was sad for you for what you have been through, but you are great for my brother.  Before you
, he was headed on a downhill spiral.  With you, he is back to the Carson we know and love.  I have a feeling he’s the same for you.”  He said smiling.

I nodded my head.  “More than you know.  He’s my everything.” I whispered.

“I know.  Now, I need for you to try and eat small meals more often.  Try to eat every two hours.  Small, light meals, it should help with the nausea and dizziness.  Try ginger tea as well or you can buy ginger crystals and chew on them.  Come to my office on Tuesday next week.  It’s my free day.  No one will be in the office.”

“Okay, thank you…for everything.”

“Hey, this is what family is for.”  He smiles.

“I wouldn’t know.  I lost mine when I was thirteen.” I said sadly.

Jackson patted my hand, then squeezed it reassuringly.  “You have one now.”

He gathered up his things and we walked to the door.  I had to laugh when we opened the door and I saw Carson pacing back and forth.  When he noticed the door was open, he started questioning what was going on.  Jackson patiently explained everything and about going to his office on Tuesday.