Far-out Show (9781465735829) (8 page)

“What do you plan to do right now?”

“I will make an official recording for you to
send to the show’s producers. At this time I will be
cheering-filled and ready to go at it, my doubts and worries I will
make clear as I am becoming more aware of how much what I do not
know is making me be in grave danger. The producers will work in
what you have been sending without knowing it as they think best. I
have much to be thinkening about each minute so there is not much
room in my head for worrying about what is not changeable by me
without being a big thing. If fame and fortune can still be mine I
will put up with and then for a time forget a lot of unhappy making
facts and ideas.”

“That passes the judgment of my programs as
appropriate for you to be doing at this time. The producers need
material.”

“They always need material.”

“That is the obvious nature of the
Pacification by Distraction with Entertainment business,
Nerber.”

After another look around to be sure there
was no one in sight Nerber removed his hat and wig, checked that
his clothes were neat, and smirked at and spoke directly to
Wilburps.

“
Hula boola wattinghams
to all those
in the audience at home on Ormelex. This is the new Amuse and
Distract You company's reality entertaining program called
The
Far-Out Show
. I am Nerber, yakkening at you from the distant
planet its inhabitants call Earth. My zerpy Wilburps arrived safely
with me on the planet surface and I am working on the show
challenges, starting with encounterings with specimens of the most
intelligent types I can locate on this planet.”

Tell about the reverse translation.

“Yes, to free up my zerpy to do a lot of
other jobs, my reports will be sent in the translation form of the
most commonly used talk-talk in the messages beamed around this
planet. They will then be retranslated back so you can follow the
events with no sweatering or not-conveniencing.”

Tell them what else to expect.

“The show challenges call for me to get
physical with a local, all in view of the zerpy of course. My first
time to see if that could happen was a did-not but I will be
looking out for other chances since you like that stuff muchly as
we all know. I will record for your amusement any interesting
behaviors of the planet's inhabitants. I will also bring home
images of as many local types as possible, with primary interesting
of course on the advanced animate types.
Wintzerph dinky
dork
, how low can I go? Oh, I am also challenged to create a
grand monument here that can be seen by our zerpy in high orbit so
you can marvel at it in our reports sent to your home. For now I do
not see how I can do that but if it was for truly easily as falling
things off logjams to accomplish it would not much challenging be
is a yes, no?”

Show them your cover-ups.

“To pass unnoticed among the local types I
need to cover my feet with these things that are like what they
call boots. They are very nasty and I only wear them to win the
contest.”

He put on the wig and the hat. “The biggest
type I have found so far also have oddly-shaped heads so I put on
these hiding things so they do not be scary or point their fingers
and laugh about me. So far these are making the job be done okay
since none I have met have been scary or made pointy fingers.”

Wrap it around for now.

Nerber smiled and waved at Wilburps. “This is
Nerber sending messages from the distant planet Earth. Watch for my
next report here on the A.D.U. entertaining stuff,
The Far-Out
Show
.”

He freeze-framed himself for a moment, then
looked around. “Good. That is done so I need to go be of a focused
type on other challenges.”

“You are committing to the list after
all?”

“Everything about this adventure is a
challenge, not only the put down in a list things. I am for big
image imagining. Have they admitted they received the
transmission?”

“There is solely silence. I detect no
signals. This is not a standard situation. If I were able to be
afraid I might be and think I was correct for being that way. They
are not sending and there is no way for me to detect if they are
receiving.”

“What could this mean?”

“That they have lost all power. Maybe that
Whizybeam
has been in some way destroyed.”

“Monitor the inhabitants’ news signals,
Wilburps. Is there talk-talk about them destroying what they saw by
what they call their moon?”

“There are no claims about anything happening
in that location but perhaps they do not want us to know.”

“My sense is that the inhabitants here cannot
not talk-talk about what is happening so their silence means
nothing. That Matt guy revealed that they report as the latest
version of the information what is the same as the old version but
repeated. Who at home misunderstood and claimed there might be more
than low level smarts here?”

“The signals are restored.”

“Do they offer you any explaining to make it
like to pretend it was not important?”

“Nothing. They do signal that they received
your material though.”

Nerber prepared himself then stepped to where
the zerpy would have a good view of him and went into a fretful fit
of pacing. “What it can only mean like maybe? Silence is my only
sign that I am for all time stranded on this foreign world? What
was I not thinking to realize the true dangers? Why did they not
make more certain that I knew the what-could-happens and did more
than be trustful of our Ormelexian smarts and systems? Halt,
Nerber. Making yourself pulled together. You are a brave explorer
on a mission. You came this long way to give entertaining to the
audience. This noble cause must make you be sustained through even
a great tragedy like you are left like you are dead. The others
must have been destroyed too so be acting brave to be worthy of
cheers from those happy to watch you die for their amusement. You
are a hero. Amuse the masses to the end.”

He walked out of the gazebo and off to the
side where he was then out of sight for the moment behind a tall
shrub.
End that as a signal and transmit it, Wilburps.

Message received and signal sent. Will we
continue to communicate silently?

Are you in
do-not-transmit-without-my-instruction mode?

Yes.

Nerber stepped back into view and reentered
the gazebo. “Then we can go back to me making talk-talk to you to
give you making the translating practice. I am full of decision to
help the show by finding many whatever can be detected living
types.”

“The producers sent messages to remind you to
do that.”

Nerber slung Wilburps over his shoulder
backpack-style and walked into the nearby woods. This was not a
vast and dense forest but it was more than half of the roughly
three-city-block-square park and formed a C-shape around the large
open area with the mowed grassy playing field, pond, and
gazebo.

When he was far enough in among the trees and
shrubs to barely make out the brighter area that would be the edge,
Nerber put the zerpy down where it hovered a foot above the ground.
Then he tapped several spots on the top.

“Why are you locking my recording range to
only this area and fixing me in place here, Nerber?”

“You are to record all the living forms
within that limited range, large and small. It is best if not the
distractions there are to confusioning things. Is maybe you would
scare the life having beings with turning and moving to find more
of the kinds that are here so you are doing the bestest job to stay
still. I set your controls to ease your processing by making it
that others cannot override my decision from afar. You will do well
and be proud for the show. As you do that important looking and
seeing I will sneaky the Pete and look from inside this strange
place to where I may spot any other large beings I maybe can
interact with to meet them and do the challenges. All will be
well.”

“What are you worried for?”

“You clever make in detecting that I hesitate
whether that last one I met might have sent others to do me harm
since the
get physical
did not be okay. I choose to take
this stepping to the side to make me be feeling in the confident
way.”

“Understood. This may... No, this is not okay
with the producers whose commands are not making the success in
trying to change the restraining things you have programmed for me.
They order you to change me back to full range and freedomly
moving.”

“This way for it to be happiness gives me and
matches you to the task they have called for you to be doing here.
Such typical
dismilquam
from those at the far spot. Do
somethings but don’t do any hows what is needed to have that be
done. I am seeing ever more and more that we should ignore them and
let them putting their heads on in a corrected style. Stay. Record
in short range solely.” He walked away, going in the direction that
he knew the zerpy would have the least useful view of him.

When he had gone a distance Nerber stepped
behind a clump of thick shrubs and looked back. He was reassured
when he looked and saw that the zerpy had not been able to make any
move to keep him in sight.

When he was close enough to see the street
but was still pretty much hidden among the trees he looked around
for any large beings out there or in here among the foliage with
him. Finding he was alone as he intended, he pulled his mini-zerpy
off his hat. It came off easily in his hand, revealing that
although it stayed firmly in place when he wanted it to it was not
actually pinned there.

“Now, Wowseyla, you were set to pick up from
Wilburps the ways to do the translation making so I can continue
with the noting down of my thoughts to have my remembering bits
when they will do me muchness of good. Released you are.” He let go
of the device but it hovered in front of him at the same height as
when he held it.

“Command panel.” A virtual control panel
several times the size of the device appeared beside it and
convenient to his reach. “First I will make a trying at your
far-in-aboveness-of-zerpies-made-before-your-design. Positive reply
signal received. You can contact
Whizybeam
’s systems. No
coming-after-that changes detected. So you can do that without
making
Whizybeam
’s systems reveal your signals to the crew.
Fine is that news to my plans.”

He considered for a moment, then said,
“View-screen.” A ten-inch-square virtual view-screen appeared above
Wowseyla. “When I see danger closing around me I want to know if
can I get myself safely away. Can I transport me back to
Whizybeam
on my own signal whether they are alert or not?
Test is happening now.”

He watched the view-screen where a line of
four red dots blinked. Those disappeared and promptly reappeared in
sequence.

“Test result is no. The transport system does
not signal it is active and able to bring me to
Whizybeam
.”

A series of lines of text appeared on the
screen. “There are recent changes in
Whizybeam
’s systems.”
He typed in some code and waited. Other lines of text appeared. “It
does not come out clear if those changes are because of my test
signal. It is not my wish for the crew to find yet that I have a
way other than Wilburps to send signals to
Whizybeam
. So for
this time I will not test the other code sequences that might let
me return there at my command whether they want me to or not.”

He said, “Tucked away form.” The view-screen
and control panel disappeared. The zerpy continued to hover in
place.

“Remembering notes continued. I am told to
record the widest range of visuals and sounds. They do not telling
to me but I am knowing this is to get more of exotic foreign
backgrounds and bits for the making-it-up technicians to use to
make amusements for the masses. I against that am not having many
strong feelings. With images having some basis in what is for true
here, techs with imagining skill can make up stories that the many
will okay as could be for how it was and stay distracted and going
the easy way. Note that Wowseyla does so fine as Wilburps the task
of translation-making so it did a no-touching download of all that
stored material from the older zerpy. This is making me have great
confidence in what Wowseyla will assist me in pulling off.”

When he finished making his notes he touched
the zerpy to his hat – where it floated to the exact spot it had
been in earlier and stuck tight there.

* * *

Elsewhere in Swiftyville, high school seniors
Ricky and Brad were walking through the parking lot of a
convenience store when Ricky noticed what looked like a rather
beat-up football on the ground. He ran to it and grabbed it up,
shouting playfully, “Go long, Man.”

Brad broke into a run, signaling that he was
ready to receive the ball. But to Ricky’s surprise when he threw
the “ball” it soared over a solid fence behind his pal out of
sight.

Over there the “ball” suddenly imploded,
seeming to be sucked into itself in a way that would have made no
sense to any witnesses but conveniently there were none of
those.

When the boys came around the fence looking
for the thrown item it was nowhere to be found. Ricky said, “It
went way farther than I expected. I want to see what’s so weird
about it.”

Brad agreed. “You can’t throw very good so
that made no sense but I was ready for it if it acted right. I’m a
good receiver even if I didn’t go out for the team. Where is
it?”

“I don’t see it. That’s even weirder.”

“Hey, maybe that was the alien everybody
seems so spooked about. It saw what it’d be up against dealing with
jocks like us and took the fast shuttle home.”