Fascinated (12 page)

Away in her body, she felt herself grip the velvet ribbon holding her cinnabar brooch and tear it from her neck. In that same moment, in her mind, the glass wall shattered.

P
ain as if from a thousand cuts wracked her. Then it was gone, leaving her hollow. She had been bled dry all in an instant. A fierce starvation gripped her and Alicia screamed again. She was dying. She must die; she could not survive this sick and horrible hunger.

But Edward was there. He wrapped her in his strong arms, holding her tightly. His hot, open mouth covered hers. Alicia struggled, but slowly she realized that as he breathed into her, the hunger eased. He was kissing her now, a deep, slow kiss, and the warmth spread. Slowly, ever so slowly, the hollowness filled. The pain of starvation ebbed, taking the panic with it. Sanity returned and she sagged into Edward’s embrace.

“It’s all right, Alicia. It’s all right. I’ve got you. It’s over—do you hear me? It’s over.” He cradled her head against his chest. He was breathing hard. “You’re safe now.”

Edward smoothed her hair back from her brow and smiled. His cheeks were pale, but there was a fierceness in his gray eyes.
Alicia blinked hard and the darkness at the edges of her vision retreated. She tipped her head back, and saw Edward.

He had his strong, warm arms about her. She felt the vitality of him, and the deep concern. But his face…His face showed fear and hope, and anger. Not anger at her, but at what had happened to her. For her, there was tenderness, and triumph and relief.

She could see it. Wonder blossomed in Alicia, robbing her of her breath. For the first time in her life, she could see all the feeling in a man’s face, and understand it. This what was had been hidden from her all those years. She reached up and touched Edward’s cheek, as if she could absorb these new things through her bare hand. His skin was so warm. There was a rough stubble on his jaw that rasped against her palm.

She stared at the brooch on its torn ribbon that dangled from her hand. It was like a lump of ice, or the last shard of the glass from the shattered wall. She dropped it hastily, but Edward caught it before it hit the ground.

“What is that thing?”

“An amulet. A malevolent one. It has been keeping you divided from your true nature since you were a child. Here, sit down.” With one arm, he lowered her softly to the edge of the bed. Then he went to open the metal-banded box he’d called a wedding present.

“But…but…my aunts gave that to me. They told me to never take it off.”

“I know.” He dropped her brooch—the amulet—inside, slammed the lid shut and turned the black key.

“Why would my aunts mean me harm?”

“I don’t know all the reasons. But I do know this much—you’re a Sorceress, Alicia.”

“A
what
?”

“A Sorceress, a magic worker. That thing was cutting you off from your power.”

She should have doubted him, but she couldn’t. The sudden change she felt within herself laid bare the truth in his words, as did the way in which she now looked at his face and saw the anger there.

“Are you a Sorcerer?”

“No. I’m a similar kind. We are known as Catalysts. It is our gift to draw magic from the world about us and channel it for Sorcerers to shape into enchantment.”

He was utterly serious. She could see it, in his eyes and in the way he held himself.

“Alicia?” Worry filled his eyes as he took her hand once more.

“I’m well,” she said, and it was the truth. She felt flushed with health and energy. Even in the twilight created by its closed draperies, the room around them seemed brighter than any she had ever been in. “I…when I took the ribbon off, I felt like I was starving. What was that?”

“Proof you are a Sorceress, if any was needed. Sorcerers need magic in them to survive. The amulet kept you from taking any magic into yourself, but also kept you from feeling the lack.”

“You…you took that feeling away. What did you do?”

“As I said, I am a Catalyst. I gave you the magic that you needed. It is inside you now.” He drew his hand down her arm, tracing the line of her vein. Alicia’s throat tightened. Edward’s jaw worked back and forth for a moment and he lifted his hand away.
She felt bereft, but she let him step away from her. She needed the space. She couldn’t think when he touched her.

“You knew what was happening when you brought me here,” she said.

“I’ve known something of it since our night in the conservatory.”

“And so you rescued me?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Edward bowed, his face still and grave, but a merry light shone in his eyes, and Alicia smiled. It was a brilliant sensation, and it seemed contagious, because Edward smiled as well. If he had been handsome before, now he was breathtaking. Alicia felt her breasts swell against the bodice of her modest walking dress. And she suddenly became acutely aware of her position, seated on a bed, in an empty house, with this man in front of her and a closed door behind them.

“What…what will happen to me now?”

“Well, in the morning, you’re going to meet some colleagues of mine who can help you understand more about your abilities as a Sorceress. Until then…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I confess I hadn’t planned this far. I was uncertain what…state of mind you’d be in once the amulet was removed.”

“Oh.” She felt the blood drain from her cheeks.

“Alicia.” He lifted her one bare hand, and laid his over it. “I need you to trust me. You will not be abandoned. We are engaged, and I swear by all I hold dear, I will honor that agreement, if it is what you want.”

“I’m not sure what I want, to tell the truth.”

“That is not surprising. You’ve not had proper access to your
own thoughts and feelings for above five minutes yet. Don’t push yourself. Understanding will come with time.” He paused and looked at their hands. “Perhaps you’re tired?” A current of reluctance ran beneath those words. “I could leave you to get some rest, if you wish.”

If you wish.
He’d spoken those words to her before, in the conservatory, which was, in many ways, where she had first truly met him. But that time had been marred by so much confusion. This time she understood him more clearly. Edward did not want to leave any more than he had wanted to stop touching her. But he would if she asked it of him.

Edward mistook her hesitation. He laid her hand on the white counterpane, and bowed courteously. “Until tomorrow, then.”

She watched him walk toward the door and tried to tell herself to let him go. That would be best. It would be cautious and prudent.

She could not do it. What was more, she did not want to.

“Wait,” she said, and Edward froze with one hand hovering over the door latch. “I don’t…I don’t think I want to be alone.”

“Very well.” He turned and folded his hands behind his back. “How can I serve you, Miss Hartwell?”

There was a wealth of warmth and import in those calm words, but even with her newly opened eyes, Alicia felt certain she was missing most of it. But she did sense he was perfectly serious. He would do whatever she wanted. All she had to do was ask.

“Will you…” She couldn’t. It was most improper. Alicia clapped her hand over her mouth to suppress what would be a slightly hysterical giggle. She was already gone miles past propriety. If anyone knew she was here, she would be disgraced and dishonored in the eyes of the polite world, except for one thing:
She and Edward were still betrothed. He said he would marry her and, whether it was wise or not, she did trust him. That saved her. That, as much as anything else that had happened, freed her to speak. “Would…would you hold me?”

Edward’s lips curved up in a small smile. That smile changed his eyes, giving them a light that seemed to shine from deep within.

“Gladly. Here.” He moved around to the other side of the bed and swung his legs up, stretching them out and settling himself so that his back rested against the headboard. “Now.” He spread his arms.

A tremor of bashfulness ran through Alicia. Her dress and chemise suddenly seemed very thin, and her throat was entirely too bare. Her hand went up reflexively to find her brooch. But then she looked again at Edward’s patient eyes and saw his strong arms opened for her. She lowered her hand, and instead undid the button on her remaining glove. She drew it off and laid it on the nightstand beside its mate. Her heart constricted, but there was no pain. Instead, she felt a strange eagerness stirring beneath her bashfulness. As she looked at her white gloves lying against the dark wood, she was also aware that she was stalling. She had asked for this. She did want it. She could shy away and say she’d changed her mind. But what would that bring her?

Alicia lifted her chin and faced Edward. He still held his arms out toward her. Still smiled at her, but not in amusement; rather, in understanding. She sat on the edge of the bed and then, awkwardly, she scooted herself across the counterpane toward him. Edward folded her into his embrace and laid her head against his chest.

“Comfortable?” he asked.

“Very.” All her previous hesitation had vanished. Lying here in Edward’s arms suddenly seemed the most natural thing she had ever done.

“Good. Close your eyes and rest, then.”

“You will not leave me?” The idea of waking to the dark alone chilled her, although she was not entirely sure why. Perhaps because this all might still be a dream. Perhaps she would wake up to her isolation and confusion again.

“I won’t leave you.” Edward pressed a kiss against her brow. “I will remain as long as you want me.”

“Good.”

Alicia did close her eyes, but, comfortable as she was, this did not serve to relax her. Instead, it made her more aware of Edward. She could feel him breathe, and hear his heart beat. His body’s warmth surrounded her as surely as his arms did, but it was not a restful, drowsy heat, not like the warmth of a fire. There was a different quality to it. It was invigorating. Exciting.

Without any conscious thought on her part, Alicia’s hand rose up and she laid her palm against the particular place right over his heart. His shirt was of very fine linen, and she could feel the crisp hairs that covered his chest through the fabric. She brushed at them, curious. Edward’s breathing hitched and his arms tightened around her, just a little. She became aware of a fresh stirring inside her. It was a pleasant sensation, but still far from relaxing.

Edward shifted his weight. Even though she was comfortable, it seemed to her suddenly that he was not. “You were meant to be resting,” he admonished her.

“Oh. Yes.” Alicia curled her fingers up on his chest. Of course she must rest. She should have remained still. She squirmed closer to try to regain the comfortable warmth she had felt when she
first rested herself against him, but it was gone. Now she did not know what to do. She did not want to pull away, but she couldn’t stay like this, either.

“Alicia?”

“Yes?” She tipped her face up so she could look at him.

“May I kiss you?”

Why was he bothering to ask now? He’d already kissed her, and held her and touched her in shocking and intimate ways. But that was before, Alicia realized, when he was rousing her passions to break the enchantment that held her. Now it was a different matter. Now it was just the two of them and she was for the first time truly in her right mind.

“Would it…Do you want to?”

Amusement sparkled in Edward’s gray eyes. “I very much hope there will be time enough for what I want later. Right now, I would far rather do as you want. Would you like me to kiss you?”

For the first time Alicia had a question she did not have to search for an answer to. “Yes.”

Alicia expected Edward to bend toward her, but he did not. He raised two fingers and traced them lightly around her mouth. For all its gentleness, this new touch sent a shiver through the deepest part of her. “Ask me,” he said.

It seemed a strange request, but this whole situation was strange beyond imagining. “Edward, would you kiss me?”

Edward took hold of her chin, keeping her face still and tipped up toward him. His mouth pressing against hers was delightful. He ran the tip of his tongue around her lips, just as he had done with his fingers, and Alicia shivered again. As she did, her mouth opened, and his tongue slipped inside. His arms tightened around her, his mouth urged her closer so she could receive him more fully.
She leaned toward him until her breasts brushed his chest. A bright spark of feeling shot from her heart to her center, and her nipples tightened abruptly.

Edward’s broad hands began stroking down Alicia’s back, exploring the curves of her waist and the very tops of her buttocks. Taking that as a signal, she ran her hands up his chest. Its planes and hollows delighted her. She wanted to memorize every inch of his form. His hand drifted down to her thighs, caressing them with lazy appreciation. She imitated his touch. To her eyes, his legs had seemed well shaped, but to her hands, to her body, they were enthralling and she felt she could not get enough of touching them.

All the while, Edward kissed her; all the while his tongue teased and coaxed and stroked her. Heated memory flashed through Alicia. She saw the park again, and the man Marcus with his breeches open and displaying his cock for his lover. It had been hard and straight and strong and, even blocked by the wall of enchantment, it had looked beautiful to her. Her heart raced as memory blended with current sensation and her cheeks burned. Her hand, bolder by far than her mind or her voice, glided down to the front of Edward’s breeches. She found what she sought at once—his cock, hard and warm beneath the buckskins.