Fated Memories (34 page)

“
Then we’ll leave here.”She paced back and forth in front of him. “Yes,” she nodded, warming to her idea, “we’ll leave here and go somewhere far away, where the color of our skin won’t matter.”

“
Jessie,” he shook his dark head, dashing her hopes. “That place don’t exist.”

“
We’ll go all the way to Europe if we have to. They accept interracial marriages there.”

“
Yes, I’ve heard this. But how long do you think Two Spirits would be able to live in a different country before his heart became sick for the sight of home and his people?”

“
If we’re together, he wouldn’t care about all that. He loves me!” She hastened to convince him. “He wouldn’t need anyone else.”

Seating himself once more on the tree stump, he motioned her to sit beside him. When she had done so, he tried to reason with her. “Jessie, let me tell you a little somethin’ about Indians. In some ways, they’re a lot like a wild animal. They have to be free. They need to be in familiar surroundings. If you take them outta their environment, they’ll get sick and die,” he glanced over at her. “Is that what you want for Two Spirits?”

“
Wolfer, I don’t believe that. He’s a man,” she argued, moving away. “Where he lives can’t make that much difference!”

“
Yes, Jessie, it does. If you love him, you’ll set him free to live his life the way Our Father intended for him to live. Not the way you want him to live.”

“
You and Pehta just want us to stay away from each other. You think by tellin’ me our love’ll never survive that we’ll just,” she flung her hands up in the air, “walk away from each other. Well, I can tell you right now,” she screamed at him over her shoulder as she ran towards her horse, “that won’t happen!”

Wolfer didn’t try to stop her. Nor did he think about the trouble she could bring to him, if Eathen learned of her harsh treatment. Rising to his feet, he made his way towards his own waiting mount. The hopelessness of the situation Pehta had involved him in weighed heavy on his heart.

***

A surprised Eathen looked up from reading the ranch accounts to see Jessie passing his open door. Rising, he walked out of the den.

“
Hold up there, sweetheart,” he called out to her.

Her heart leaped at the sound of his voice. “I really don’t feel like talkin’ right now, Daddy,” she told him, continuing on her way towards the stairs.

Undeterred, Eathen followed her. “What happened? I thought you’d be well on your way to the reservation.”

“
I changed my mind.” Her voice shook with the fear building within her. “I just want to go lie down.”

“
Are you ill?” He turned her around to stare into her pale face. “Should I send for the Doc?”

“
I’m not ill. I just want to be alone,” she cried, her voice beginning to rise in her frustration.

“
Jessie, I won’t let you leave here until you tell me what’s the matter.”

Her nerves felt so taut, she could feel herself getting sick to her stomach and the queasiness gave her an idea. “Daddy, would you please let me go?” She leaned herself against him. “I’m all right. I started havin’ cramps on the way there, and thought it’d be best if I came home before…” She allowed the unspoken words to speak for themselves.

Stepping back and shrugging his massive shoulders in male distaste, Eathen let her go. “You’re right, sweetheart, you need to go lie down for a while.”

Jessie ran up the stairs to her room. Once inside, she turned the key. Throwing herself down on the bed, she went back over in her mind all that had just happened with Wolfer.

“
Why are they all against me?”she moaned into her pillow, then answered her own question with what she assumed could be their reasons. “The Blackfeet are as prejudiced against mixing the races as the whites. They’ll do all they can to keep us apart. Wolfer thought he could scare me into stayin’ away from Two Spirits, that’s why he said all those mean things to me. Well,” she laughed aloud, pleased with herself for seeing through his ploy, “it won’t work! As soon as I can, I’m going to Two Spirits. When they see us together, they’ll know there’s nothin’ they can do to keep us apart.”

Turning onto her back, she lay there in the quiet room, thinking about all she would say when she saw him again. She pictured the way his face would light up when he realized what she had braved just to hear his voice. Then she thought about how she had deceived her father into believing her to be in the midst of her menstrual cycle. She knew, like most men, he disliked anything that had to do with “all that female stuff”. She would have to be careful to keep up the pretense of not feeling well when she went down for supper.

Throwing her arms up over her head, she smiled to herself, pleased at her adeptness in fooling everyone when she wanted to. The quiet tapping on her door drew her attention. Getting up, she went to the door, turning the key to open the door wide to see who interrupted her daydreams.

“
Jessie, your father said you aren’t feelin’ well,” Charlotte walked into the room, “what’s wrong?”

“
I just have a slight headache.” Jessie answered, her voice taking on a soft, pliant tone. “I’ll be all right.”

“
Your father implied you’re not feelin’ well because of ‘all that female stuff’ again,” she laughed. “If I didn’t know how much he hates talkin’ ‘bout it, I coulda told him you already went through all that for this month.”

“
No, it’s only a headache. I think if I take a nap, it’ll pass.”

“
All right then, if you’re sure that’s all it is.” Charlotte dropped a light kiss on Jessie’s pale cheek. “I’ll get back to helpin’ your father with the bills.”

Alone, Jessie pulled back the light blue bedspread, deciding to take her own advice about a nap, when a sudden thought crossed her mind, stopping her in mid-movement.

“
Mama’s right. My menstrual cycle shoulda already passed, but it hasn’t. That’s the first time that’s happened. Maybe I’ll ask Hattie about it. If anyone would know why I’m late, she would.”

Stretching her slim body out straight on the bed, she had just started to doze off when another, more puzzling, thought crossed her mind.

“
I wonder what in the world Wolfer meant about girls in my condition gettin’ sick?” As she allowed herself to continue to drowse into a restful slumber, she commended herself on having the presence of mind to get away from the strange man when she did. If anyone had to worry about their condition, it’d be him not her.

Being quiet, Hattie opened Jessie’s door and walked across the room to set the heavy tray she had been holding down on the small table by the window. “Miss Jessie,” she called out, “it bes time ter wakes up an’ eats sumpin’.”

Turning onto her side, Jessie looked to where Hattie stood watching her. “Oh, Hattie, you didn’t need to bring me a tray. I planed on comin’ to the table.”

“
Yo’ ma says yo’feelin’ po’ly. Whut bes de matter wid mah baby chile?”

“
I just had a headache. It’s gone now. There’s no reason for everyone to get all upset.”

“
Effen we din’ loves you, we twouldn’ bes worrit ‘bout you.” She seated herself on the side of the bed to begin rubbing Jessie’s back.

“
Hattie, why would a girl’s menstrual cycle be delayed?”

“
Whut fer you bes axing ‘bout sumpin lak dat?” Hattie chuckled, slapping Jessie’s bottom. “You’s ter young ter bes worrin’ yo’ haid ‘bout dat.”

“
I guess not, `cause I should’ve already had a cycle this month, but for some reason it ain’t come on yet.”

“
Der bes only one reason Ah knows of dat de mizry doan comes,” Hattie brushed Jessie’s long hair back away from her face, “an dat’s w’en a woman’s spectin’ a baby.”

“
Oh,” Jessie whispered, her heart turning over in her chest.

“
Miss Jessie!” Hattie pulled Jessie around to look at her. “You ain’ gots no reason ter bes worrit ‘bout dat, does you?”

“
Well…of…course…not, Hattie,” she said, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “A girl has to let a boy touch her where he ain’t supposed to for that to happen.”

“
Dat’s my good girl,” Hattie said on a long breath. “Doan bes scarin’ ole Hattie like dat, chile.”

“
Hattie,” Jessie took hold of her arm, “please don’t tell Mama I asked you ‘bout this. It’ll only worry her and there’s no reason for her to get upset. Bein’ pregnant can’t be the only reason for a girl to be late.”

“
Up til now, it bes de one reason I knows of, but effin you ain’ been wid nobody den der has ter bes ‘nother reason.” She rubbed the back of her neck. Then eyeing the young girl curled up on the bed, she declared, “Is you sho der ain’ sumpin you needs ter tells ole Hattie, chile?”

“
Yes, Hattie. I’m sure. Mama always told me, a good girl never lets a boy touch her until he’s her husband and she belongs to him.”

“
Yo’ ma’s right, Miz Jessie. Jes bad womens b’haves lak dat. It’d brek yo’ pa’s heart an’ yo’ ma’s too, effen you wuz ter gits yo’seff in de fambly-way befo’ you is mahied.”

“
I know, Hattie,” she murmured, turning her face to the wall. “That’s why I’d never do anything like that.”

“
I hopes you is tellin’ me de truth, chile.” Hattie lifted herself off the bed. “Kase effen you ain’, disyere fambly is sho’ in fer a heap of tawment.”

At the door, Hattie stood for a moment looking at the young girl watching her in silence, her dark blue eyes shadowed with fear. Then with a resigned sigh, she pulled the door to behind her.

Jessie lay on the bed, allowing the lengthening shadows of night to fill the room. She could hear the sound of her father’s deep voice echoing throughout the house as he shared the happenings of his day with those around him. Now and then, she would catch pieces of conversation and recognize the soft lilt of her mother’s voice as she laughed and joked with her husband. But not one time did she hear the sound of Hattie’s southern drawl floating up to her.

Why hadn’t she realized she could be carrying Two Spirits’ child? She had been born and raised on a cattle ranch. She knew how animals and children were conceived. How could she have been so ignorant about her own body and the chance she took every time she let Two Spirits make love to her without any thought to the consequences? Did Two Spirits know she carried his child? Is that what Wolfer meant when he talked about females in her condition?

“
Oh God!” she moaned, as a myriad of thoughts rushed through her mind. “I have to know he will still want me. I have to know this child growing inside me will have a father to take care of it and protect us both from all the pain and anger his family and mine will bring down upon us.”

***

A small olive-complexioned girl, with waist-length dark brown hair and clothed in a light blue gingham dress, ran laughing through the tall bunch grass toward a tall, dark-skinned young man, the love shining from her almond-shaped dark eyes as she looked at him plain to see. The man laughed aloud, his handsome face relaxing into easy lines, the lips of his full mouth drawn back into a smile as he watched her. He wore a tanned leather shirt and leggings, his long black hair hanging down his back and kept at bay by a beaded leather headband tied about his forehead. He knelt on one knee in the tall grass, enjoying the playful antics of the child as she laughed and threw herself into his outstretched arms to topple them both backwards onto the ground.

Pulling them both to their feet, he lifted her high above his head as she squealed with laughter. As he lowered her to her feet, she changed from a small child to a beautiful, dark-skinned young woman. Her long-fringed white leather dress clung to her ripe, full-breasted body. Her large black eyes gazed at the handsome man holding her with such deep longing; he trembled as he crushed her tight against his broad chest. Long, silky black hair fell down her back almost to her well-rounded hips. His dark brown fingers wound themselves in the silken mass to pull her full pink mouth against his. She pulled away from him, backing out of his reach until she disappeared into the early morning mist.

The man stood where she had left him, calling out her name. With tears running down his face, he cried out in anguish. “Ahkeeah, my chosen one, I cannot walk my path to the sun without you. You are my bridge to my father. Until you return to me, I will walk in darkness. My woman, my wife, my beautiful Tia.”

Jessie sat straight up in bed and switched on the bedside lamp. “My God!” she whispered, her body bathed in a cold sweat. “It’s true!”

Chapter Twenty

In the lodge of his mother, Two Spirits sat thinking about the girl he had wronged. His eyes wandered over to his mother’s sleeping couch, made up of a piece of tanned cowhide laid over a thick layer of grass and covered with many blankets. His sister Sinah’s bed lay nearby while his lay across the lodge. He compared the beds on the floor to the one he slept on in the bunkhouse. He much preferred the Indian way of sleeping. A large cast-iron kettle hung over the open fire pit. The many stones placed in a circle around the unearthed pit helped protect the deerskin hides of the lodge from any danger of fire. For a brief moment, he viewed his surroundings through the eyes of the white girl he had left behind and he shuddered. What had he been thinking to allow her into his life? He knew he couldn’t return to the Thornton ranch, but he couldn’t walk away from Jessie either. She carried his child. A dull ache began in the back of his neck as he sat there, trying to muddle through his dilemma.