Feeling This
Authors: Heather Allen
Published by Heather Allen
Copyright 2013 Heather Allen
Cover Art by B Design
All Rights Reserved. This book contains material protected under the International and Federal copyright laws and treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without express written permission from the author/publisher
Table of Contents
To Life and all it entails, the happy, the sad, and the most fulfilling things that encourage us to wake up each and every morning to a new day!
Previously published under Casey Blue-
The Hyde to my Dr. Jekyll…
Chapter One
I stare into the mirror above my dresser that is completely cluttered with candles. Susan and her damn candles, but then remembering last night, maybe I really shouldn’t complain. My hands move deftly to secure the knot on the plain, baby blue tie as I recall her insistence on the candles and a smile creeps to my mouth.
Susan calls out from the bathroom where she’s getting ready, “I really don’t see the point of this whole thing. David and Bree have been together since what, the third grade? Why all the fuss for an engagement party? They seem to celebrate themselves every weekend anyway.”
I roll my eyes, this is so typical of her.
She won’t complain when it’s her engagement party.
I call out sarcastically, “Will you feel the same when it’s our turn? When our parents want to parade you around the club to announce
our
engagement?”
Once my tie is finished, I stroll to the floor length mirror and check to make sure that I’m presentable enough. I hate these things at the club. It’s all for show and status. My navy blue slacks and white shirt will be sufficient. As I reach up and push my hair out of my eye, I realize that not only will my mom give me a hard time about my lack of sleep but also the length of my hair. My mom and her petty complaints aren’t important at the moment.
I stroll into the bathroom doorway and glance at Susan from behind. A small smile plays on my lips as I take her in. She embodies all that is putting on a show at the club, as much as she would deny it. Her light brown hair hangs in ringlets down her bare back, exposed by the turquoise dress she has chosen. A small gold chain attaches at each of her shoulders, ensuring it won’t fall off. I move my gaze to meet her round honey brown eyes in the mirror. Her smile turns sexy and she teases, “Do you like what you see?”
I nod my head slowly and walk forward.
She continues, “And just for your information,
we
have only been together for three years, we deserve this way more than they do.”
I roll my eyes once again at her antics and move closer, sliding my hands into the sides of her dress to touch the smooth, tender skin. She leans back into me and mumbles only half convincingly, “Jordan, you know now is not the time…”
I take her lack of conviction as permission and move my hands lower while my lips meet her almost bare shoulder, peppering it in tiny kisses. She moans and my heart speeds in anticipation. She slowly turns in my arms forcing my hands out from the warmth of her dress. Her hands move up my chest clasping around my neck. She moves her lips to meet mine in a deep kiss while my hands slowly caress her back and find their way down over her firm ass. Before I can take it any further though, she breaks our connection and moves back a step. I look at her with longing, but the minute I see the set look in her eyes, I know, it’s not going any further. The moment is fleeting and I feel like I need a cold shower.
She smiles sweetly reasoning, “Jordan, you know we have to go. Maybe we can finish this later.”
I smile down adoring her, this woman, my Susan, who is everything today that she was three years ago when I met her on the campus grounds of The University of Texas. We were both in our senior year. She studying fashion and I business administration and marketing. I fell in love with her that day and every single day since I have fallen more deeply in love with her. I knew then that I would marry her one day.
She holds out a gold necklace adorned with black stones and asks, “Can you fasten this?”
“Of course, Susie Q.”
Turning to face the mirror again her body stiffens and she frowns hissing as if I just committed the ultimate of crimes, “You know how I feel about that name, Jordan. Don’t call me that…It’s not me.”
It happens so suddenly, her mood turns. My pet name has never caused this side of her to come out. My heart falters realizing yet another thing has triggered it. I never know what will set her off so I always take my chances. Looking down, trying not to meet her empty gaze, I shake my head. If I get into it with her and try to reason why she is so snappy, it will spiral out of control. My best reaction when this happens, is none. I clasp the necklace and let my fingers linger on her skin for a moment. Turning to walk back out of the bathroom, her words stop me in my tracks, “Are you going to ask my father tonight?”
I don’t look back but answer her softly, “I’ll ask him tonight if an opportunity opens up.”
This seems to satisfy her because she doesn’t respond. The faucet turns on and the trickling of water into the sink fills the silence. I make my way back into the bedroom and sit on the edge of the unmade bed, resting my hands on my knees. My eyes focus on the blue designs in the Persian rug under my feet. This is the hardest part of being with Susan, her unpredictable mood swings. There is never any warning when she might have one. I love her so much. There is nothing in this world that I wouldn’t do for her. How it will affect our future, worries me.
Tonight I do intend on talking with her parents, just not about what she is hoping. I want to spend the rest of my life with her because she is
it
for me, but there are other things that we need to take care of first.
***
The car ride to the club is strained and silent. We’re both in our own world. Because of the brief exchange in the bathroom, I’m afraid to say anything else that might set her off. She’s in one of these moods and we are going to the club. It’s not a battle I want to entertain in public.
I maneuver the car through the busy streets out into the stark neighborhood where The Turtle Creek Country Club is located. As much as I hate coming to the stuffy events here, it means more to my relationship with Susan than I would like to admit. We met in college away from here but a surprise to both of us, when we discovered both of us grew up in the same town, attending the same country club all our lives. Our parents knew of each other but had never socialized with one another. It was as if from the pages of a book back when arranged marriages were common place. Our mothers have been planning the announcement of our engagement for months now. I haven’t shared with anyone that I’ve already asked her to marry me. I still have to take the normal steps by asking for her dad’s permission first. I’m just not ready for that yet.