Feeling This (31 page)

My momma is so hateful and I’ve about had it with her. I finally stood up to her in the hospital room. Jordan’s presence seemed to give me a little more strength than I would normally have, or so I tell myself.

We sit in her room all day, listening to the same complaints. I’ve given up on the arguing but she hasn’t said another word about us going to Dallas. I know she’s worried that I won’t come back. She’s been abandoned enough already as it is.

When we pull into the drive in front of the house, a maroon sedan pulls in beside us. A middle-aged woman with long brown hair dressed in scrubs climbs from the car as we help Momma out. She glances over at the woman as she sits in the wheelchair the hospital insisted upon. Her eyes are worried when she meets my gaze so I place my hand on her shoulder and squeeze. I want to lean over and assure her it will all be alright but I’m not so sure anymore. I am slowly coming to realize that the more I try to control things, the faster they spiral out of my control. It’s impossible for me to manage everything. Maybe it’s time for me to let go and allow Jordan to help.

I look up to Jordan as he handles the wheelchair with as little bumps as possible while maneuvering it through the dirt drive. The nurse follows us up onto the tiny porch and I unlock the door.

I ask the nurse quietly, “Can you take my momma in the house? We’ll be right in.”

The nurse grasps the handles and pushes her through the doorway. I hold Jordan back forcing him to look at me, “I realize now that there is no way I can control all of this. I trust you and yes, I do know you need to do this.”

He leans in and whispers, tickling the skin along my ear with his breath, “Thank you Kimber.” And he gently kisses the pulse point on my neck. Damn, what this man does to me. If Momma wasn’t on the other side of this wall, I’d have jumped him already.

A shrill voice rings through the air, “Kimber!”

I sigh before turning to walk into the house. I hesitate looking back at Jordan, suddenly embarrassed by the place I call home. He hugs me from behind. Maybe a few days away will be good for me and Momma.

“Coming Momma.”

A few hours later after explicit instructions to the nurse about no alcohol, we climb back into the Infiniti with my bag in tow. I packed it seems, my entire wardrobe because I’m not sure what to expect. The part that scares the shit out of me is meeting his parents. I know nothing because he’s still so closed up about things. Jordan tells me before backing out, “I didn’t get to tell you before, thank you for going with me.”

I grab his hand this time pushing away my worries and plant a kiss across his knuckles in response. He seems to let out a breath that he was holding and puts the car into reverse.

We drive the hour and a half singing eighties tunes and playing name that tune. I am especially good at this era so I pretty much kick his ass. He’s not a sore loser though.

As the car careens off of the highway onto a major four lane road Jordan turns down the music. His voice turns serious and he admits, “Kimber, I told you a little about my childhood. We all have demons, you know that and you will know all of mine very shortly. Please remember that you are my life now.”

I nod unsure why it was necessary for him to tell me that but loving hearing it nonetheless. He is silent a few more minutes until he turns down a narrow tree lined drive. Finally, we stop at a gate. He looks over to my widened eyes before punching in a code, forcing the slatted doors to swing inward. My middle is suddenly turning over. A short distance further, we pull into a circular drive towered by a house bigger than any I have ever seen. I always thought Heidi lived in a mansion. I was terribly wrong. I grab Jordan’s hand as he turns the key in the ignition.

“Jordan, you grew up here?”

He nods uneasily.

I complain, “Why didn’t you tell me? I don’t have anything appropriate to wear. They will hate me.”

He smiles, cradling my cheek in his hand, “Kimber, they will love you. As for your clothes, anything you brought will be fine.”

Doubt takes over my brain. How could I let him talk me into this? I am so out of my element. There is no way I have anything in common with these people.

He gets out of the car and walks around opening my door. As he stands there staring down at me, it gives me a tiny bit of strength. I have Jordan in common with them. Is that enough though? He pulls me up and into his arms whispering, “It will all be fine. Remember you said that you trust me to take care of you.”

I glance back up to the intimidating structure before us and notice movement. Jordan breaks our embrace at the sound of the door. He turns us to the porch and grabs my bag from me while holding my hand with a slight squeeze.

“Hey Mom.”

A woman dressed in a yellow dress steps down the steps carefully watching her step in two inch heels. Her hair is a dyed light blonde in a short cut. I brace myself and put on my best smile. She steps off the bottom stair and faces us.

Jordan declares, “Mom, I want to introduce you to Kimber Maguire. Kimber this is my mom, Jane.”

She eyes me suspiciously. A smile as fake as they come meets her lips and she offers her hand in a brief shake. Then she averts her glance to Jordan and seems to whine, “Jordan, you didn’t tell me you were bringing anyone. I only had Maria get your room ready. None of the other rooms are available right now.”

He frowns and answers angrily, “Kimber will be fine in my room.”

She hesitates, “Well honey, I don’t think that will send the right message.”

I can tell he is getting more agitated but truthfully I don’t think he is quite as put out as I am. What the hell is this woman’s problem?

She leans into the opposite side from where I am standing and whispers not very quietly, “Jordan, it’s David’s wedding. We are letting some of the guests stay here.”

He frowns further, “Mother, who is staying here?”

“The Fontaines are here. Jennifer has been…” She glances over at me with a downward glance before finishing, “she’s been asking about you.”

Jordan glares at her, “Why would you do that?”

She clasps her hands together uneasily but tells him firmly, “Well if you would have told me you were bringing um…”

“Kimber.”

“Oh yes, Kimber, if you could have just called me, I would have asked them to make other arrangements.”

He squeezes my hand and pulls me toward the porch, uttering back to his mother standing behind us, “No, you wouldn’t have. Kimber will stay with me.”

We enter the house and I am suddenly glued in place. The grand staircase and marble entry way take my breath away. A giant chandelier, bigger than my bed back home, hovers above us, glistening like a star suspended from the ceiling. Jordan pulls me toward the staircase and brings his arm around my shoulders. I follow him up, looking back over the railing the whole way up. I’m completely and utterly shocked that this incredible man that I love, comes from this.

We walk down a long hallway finally coming to a door on the left. He opens it to a room three times the size as mine. A king sized bed is dwarfed by the sheer size of the room. It’s decorated sparsely in neutral colors. I suddenly feel like I’m in a plush hotel. This can’t be real. He drops our bags encircling me within his arms. His lips find my pulse point following my neck up to my jaw and finally devouring my lips. I’m reluctant at first because of where we are but his tongue quickly persuades me otherwise. Our lips move roughly forcing my tongue to dance with his. His hands move down my hips tracing my hip bones arousing other parts of me. My hands run along his neck and up into his soft hair.

A hard knock and rough throat clearing interrupt us. I pull back with a completely red face embarrassed by what we were just doing in his parents’ house.
Dammit Kimber, what were you thinking? Oh yeah, you weren’t.
  Jordan looks down amused by my embarrassment. He turns to the door after he runs his hand back over my cheek deepening my blush.

“Hey Dad, how are you?”

“Well, son, your mom wanted me to um, talk to you.”

I turn around after I get myself together and grab Jordan’s hand. He interrupts before his dad can say anything else, “Dad, this is Kimber Maguire, my girlfriend.”

He holds his hand out and I take it. He squeezes my hand in both of his looking from Jordan and back to me before telling me, “It’s very nice to meet you Kimber.”

“It’s very nice to meet you too, Mr. Rhodes.”

“Oh, no need for formalities, you can call me, Ben.”

“Okay, Ben.”

Jordan steps forward and asks, “What does she want now?”

His dad looks back to Jordan and tells him, “Oh, don’t worry about it. It was really nothing. I’ll give you some privacy. It was really nice meeting you, Kimber.”

He leaves closing the door. I’m dumbfounded at the title he gave to his dad. My voice comes out soft, “Did you just tell him that I’m your girlfriend?”

Jordan laughs gathering me in his arms. He mumbles against my cheeks, “I did. Is that alright with you? It just seemed like the right thing to say.”

I nod at a loss for words. He actually wants to be with me and only me. Somehow this just hasn’t sunk in yet.

“My dad seems to really like you.”

I slap his shoulder as he brings me back to my previous mortification, “Jordan, that was so embarrassing.”

I push him away and warn, “No more hanky panky while we’re here. The last thing we need is your mom walking in here. I get the impression she isn’t a big fan of mine.”

He shakes his head, “Don’t worry about her. She barks worse than she bites.”

Good to know. I’m still not feeling very good about this whole thing though, I should have just stayed home.

A short while later after we’ve relocated to the back porch overlooking the massive pool, Ben, Jordan’s dad, comes out to tell us that dinner is ready. He tells Jordan to go ahead of us, and that he wants to get to know me. This worries me but I’m cornered, I have no choice.

As we walk slowly to the stone steps he acknowledges, “Kimber, I don’t know where Jordan has been all this time and I don’t know where he found you. But I see something in him, something that has been gone for a while.”

I ask, “Since Susan’s death?”

He nods carefully, “He told you?”

“Yes, it’s terrible that he had to endure that.”

“I agree, but I think you are good for him. I wanted to thank you for being there when he needed someone.”

I’m shocked at his words but completely flattered.

I brush it off, “He is a wonderful man. I didn’t do anything.”

“That is where you are wrong. We weren’t sure we would ever get him back. I think you are the cause of him ‘waking up’ and I am very thankful.”

By this time we are to the door that opens up to the kitchen. He pulls the handle gesturing me in first. Once in the expansive kitchen, he leads me to another room off to the right. A dining room housing a perfectly round dining table complete with five other people sitting around it. I scan the eyes all suddenly focused on me and find two pairs that momentarily make me want to run.

Jordan gets up and pulls out the chair next to him. I slide in wanting to flee as fast as I can. Once his dad is situated, Jordan gestures around the table introducing each person. His mom dismisses me as if I’m not here but the two women, Jennifer Fontaine and her mother Margaret stare with interest. I can feel myself turning inward as if I can roll up into a ball and disappear. God, I wish I could.

Jordan lifts a bottle of wine from the table and fills a glass perched in front of my place setting. Once he is finished, his hand finds mine under the table and I hold on tight as if my fate depends on it. The daughter, Jennifer who is really very beautiful, begins with the third degree. Her hair is long and curly almost the platinum blonde, the color of Heidi’s. Her brown eyes bore into me as she asks, “So Kimber, where are you from?”

My voice is strained when I try to answer so I start over, “I, uh, I’m from Mount Vernon, about an hour and a half drive from here.”

She looks over to Jordan with a slight chuckle, “Jordan, how could you end up in a place like that? I heard some things about Mount Pleasant, that isn’t far from there is it?”

I sink backward hoping that disappearing thing could happen very soon.

Jordan ignores her and turns to his mom, “What time is the wedding tomorrow?”

She shifts in her seat and takes a sip of her wine before answering, “It’s at five o’clock, black tie at the club.” Her eyes look over to me with a question in her face. I know exactly what she is thinking. And no I don’t have anything good enough to wear to a black tie event at a country club.

An older woman comes bustling in with a tray. She sets it down in the center of the table and removes the cover. A platter full of steak and chicken, enough to feed twice this many people, rests on the tray. She hurries out and back in bringing side dishes and setting them around the table, my mouth waters just looking at the variety of food. I haven’t had an opportunity to eat this well in a long time.

The table is silent as the food is passed around and plates are filled. I am about to take my first bite of chicken when the chick across the table states in an annoyed tone, “Let’s not beat around the bush here and let the elephant out. Jordan, we are all wondering what exactly is going on in that head of yours.”

A bite is halfway to my mouth but my fork drops as I realize she is really asking about me. Everything in me says run. That one word echoes through my brain over and over. This was a huge mistake thinking everything would be okay coming here. I am nothing like these people.

I spy my wine glass, lift it and gulp it down as Jordan hisses at her, “Jennifer, I don’t know what you’re talking about. But I do know,” He takes a deep breath while looking at each person around the table, “that each one of you will make Kimber feel welcome. She stays as long as I do.”

Obviously embarrassed, his mom speaks up, “Well, dinner is getting cold. Everyone eat up. I know Maria would be heartbroken if we let all of this food go to waste.”

The rest of dinner I don’t touch my fork again. Instead I make sure the wine glass is full. Conversation flows about sports, politics, and the impending wedding but I drown it out fully intending to leave before I can be humiliated anymore. Jordan’s hand hasn’t left mine and he continues to softly nudge me, encouraging me to eat something. I ignore him and drink more wine. By the time everyone has finished, Mr. Fontaine and Mr. Rhodes escape to whatever they call the library. I’m shocked, they have a room they call a fucking library.
More wine please.