Feet of the Angels (5 page)

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Authors: Evelyne de La Chenelière

Tags: #Quebecois, #9781770911635, #9781770911642, #Evelyne de la Chenelière, #Nigel Spencer, #suicide, #Renaissance art, #statuary

BOOK: Feet of the Angels
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KARINE AND MARIE (CONTINUED), THE END OF THE DAY'S SHOOTING

MARIE 2

…Anyway, it's too late to back out. I said I'd go to salsa, so I will. Boy, what an idiot!

KARINE

You told him that?

MARIE 2

Yes.

KARINE

Why?

MARIE 2

I figured… I could come off sorta sensual. Yeah, it's stupid, I know.

KARINE

What do you mean?

MARIE 2

I wanted to seem like someone who feels things… sensations, you know? Maybe eventually sexuality even, 'cause that really matters these days, doesn't it?

KARINE

What's his name?

MARIE 2

Romain.

KARINE

What's he do?

MARIE 2

Actor, but he doesn't like presenting himself as one thing or another. That's what attracted me to him.

KARINE

So you said you were learning salsa?

MARIE 2

Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to interest him for more than, say, three minutes tops by talking about my thesis, am I? And that's all the life I have right now, so I had to invent some sort of sensual pastime, right?

KARINE

So you're coming tonight?

MARIE 2

Yes.

KARINE

You're gonna like it. Just wait.

MARIE 2

I doubt it, but I don't really have any choice, do I?

KARINE

Why?

MARIE 2

He's coming to pick me up after.

KARINE

What?

MARIE 2

What? What's wrong?

KARINE

He's picking you up?

MARIE 2

Yes.

KARINE

Like for a drink?

MARIE 2

Kinda.

KARINE

That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you.

MARIE 2

No need to be condescending, you're insinuating that I'm a lost cause.

KARINE

Huh?

MARIE 2

You shout it out like it's beyond the realm of possibility some guy could actually be picking me up…

KARINE

C'mon, that's not what I meant…

MARIE 2

…I don't see why a guy wouldn't come pick me up somewhere, just like anyone else.

KARINE

I never said he wouldn't!

MARIE 2

Then stop making such a big deal of it. That's stupid.

KARINE

Look, Marie, I know this makes you nervous…

MARIE 2

No, it doesn't make me nervous! It's not like we're kids anymore. You don't know what you're talking about!

KARINE

I'm just really happy for you, that's all…

MARIE 2

And will you stop talking so…
charitably
. It's driving me nuts.

KARINE

Geez, I'm going to tell you something, Marie: me and my charity are what got you this upgrade into an actual part. If I hadn't been there, you'd still be a ghost like all the others.

MARIE 2

I don't care if I'm a ghost!

KARINE

No way! No one wants to stay a ghost!

MARIE 2

I'm telling you, I really don't mind being a ghost!

KARINE

So you're telling me I went to all that trouble for nothing?

MARIE 2

Yes!

KARINE

Because you just can't deal with other people, is that it, Marie?

MARIE 2

Other people get on my nerves.

KARINE

Well, other people are just going to leave you all alone, if that's what you want. All alone.

She stalks off, furious.

MARIE
desperately shouts after her to come back.

MARIE 1

Excuse me, Karine! I'm sorry!

MARIE 2

(
running after her
)
…I know I'm incapable of gratitude and acknowledgement. It's a huge problem for me, and it gets me into all kinds of trouble! Don't you think I'd change that in myself if I could? It's not my fault, Karine, it's just my temperament!

MARIE 1

In the period before the Renaissance, the melancholic temperament was explained by the circulation of black bile in the veins that led to contamination of the blood. As a result, people tried to isolate and remove this infection as though it were the origin of all sins… melancholia was a fault that distracted one from God. It was supposedly the source of laziness and inertia that led one to neglect God. Thus adoration was replaced by a “horrible ecstasy,” an “exalted daydreaming,” a “retreat into oneself.”

It's still condemned nowadays, but the dogma is different: it's a social affliction. So a melancholic disposition now no longer keeps one from God, but from the prescribed happiness of interacting with Others. The melancholic individual always seems to find that Others are far better-adapted to life; they are to be envied, they are fascinating and yet mildly contemptible. A melancholic derives a secret vanity from his sadness.

MARIE 2

I do
not
derive secret vanity from my sadness!

MARIE 1

Then why is the melancholic individual so deeply attached to his pain? Why is distress more valuable than life itself? Why does he accept, even welcome, this total avoidance of
moderation
?

MARIE 2

(
to herself
)
What a load of crap: “A melancholic derives a secret vanity from his sadness…” Sheesh!

FACING THE EYE

EXTRA (
MALE
)

…What I mean is, feeling so remote from other people, feeling the weight of constant disquiet, of being the exception, of wearing one's existential angst. I suppose it's bearable if you make something of it… I don't know, maybe a work of art, a discovery of some sort, a film, some remarkable thing…

Whenever I hit rock bottom, I console myself by thinking that all this pain will one day be analyzed in my biography, and other people will connect all the interesting dots between my pain and my creation… Time's running out though, and I still haven't created anything, nothing to base a bio on… nothing that will live on… That would really bug me to die and leave nothing behind… if they could just publish my biography. I know you've got to earn that though. It's not like—Facebook and existential angst aside—I haven't got the utilitarian skills to get me a bio; what a pain! The luckier ones have what it takes to get bio'ed the way they should: poverty, a major handicap, a history of childhood molestation, learning difficulties, dyslexia of some kind, orphanhood, political refugee status, or just plain homosexuality. I'd settle for any of those: something to make me stand out and get noticed, a grain of sand in the works. I'm deprived of all that: not even left-handed, nothing!

Still I am hampered by…
(
head in hands
) all that, all of it
… I have to bear the cross of my superiority without any of the benefits!

the choir
rejoins the
extra
in front of
the
eye
. They all stare at it, expecting an answer.

…It's like I don't have the talent of my genius. Sure, that's it. I'm lacking the talent of my genius.

WHOLE CHOIR

Sure, that's it. I'm lacking the talent of my genius.

They become the salsa class again.

MARIE 2

…With the Renaissance, Humanists turned from more occult forces to embrace earthly life. Connections were sought between the sacred and the natural: a fusion of divine grace and the world of the senses. Thus angels mutated into a new union of the material and the ethereal as symbolized by their feet, now often planted firmly on the ground.

Thus we can assume a double effect of this humanism: the deification of Man and the humanization of Angels.

MARIE
2 rejoins the dance class.

TEACHER

(
to the group
)
Okay, okay, here's what we're going to do. The women will move around clockwise and change partners. What you have to know about salsa is it's the man who decides when you change steps. If you are front-and-back and the man wants to switch to the sides, or on-the-spot, or rotation, he must signal it with his hand on your shoulder blades. Gentlemen, don't be afraid to show direction to the ladies—no need to push! Here's what I want: on seven, a small breath and hand on the shoulder blade, light pressure. One more thing: ladies, even if the man isn't quite following the music, if he makes a mistake, or even if he's completely lost, follow him anyway. He'll get it eventually and adjust by himself, but not by following the lady, okay? Salsa's not about feminism, got that?

MARIE
2 is now partners with
KARINE
.

MARIE 1

…and the rule of men was then at its apogee: it was now his turn to shell peas, snap stems, pare fruit, dissect animals, as well as dig up bodies, open them up, split their skulls and look inside—to autopsy bodies so he could better portray the world in painting.

They were the ones who had to discover the laws governing the universe, laws no longer having much to do with God, but understanding light that gives shape and colour to landscapes, so that finally it reflected on mountains from the side and moved them into the distance, on bodies that looked human, and on bodies of water that also came to life.

Never had humans been so thirsty for understanding, never had they so doubted their eyes—now so clearly capable of being deceived, of being veiled layer upon layer by Nature.

DANCE CLASS

MARIE
2 and
KARINE
still dancing.
KARINE
seems put out by something.

MARIE 2

Are you still mad?

KARINE

…

MARIE 2

Right. Okay. You are.

KARINE

…

MARIE 2

Want to switch in a minute?

KARINE

…

MARIE 2

Roles I mean, if you want. I can be the man.

KARINE

…

MARIE 2

That way you can practise as the woman.

KARINE

…

MARIE 2

I'm not really the masculine leadership type, nothing decisive or determined about me, so I don't mind if that's what you want to do, okay?

KARINE

…

MARIE 2

I'm just saying… whatever you like.

KARINE

…

MARIE 2

Are you enjoying this?

KARINE

…

MARIE 2

Karine?

KARINE

(
impatient
)
What?

MARIE 2

Can't you see I'm making an effort to be accommodating?

KARINE

Yes.

MARIE 2

So?

KARINE

So it doesn't always work, Marie. Sometimes things go just too far when you're spiteful, then you try to be cute as if nothing's happened.

MARIE 2

It's not my fault. Oh, you just can't understand. How could you?

KARINE

What can't I understand?

MARIE 2

You can't understand, because life's been good to you.

KARINE

Right. That's got to be it.

MARIE 2

You have a great family; John and you have a wonderful child…

KARINE

(
on the verge of tears
)
The school said my son has a spiritual void!

Pause.

MARIE 2

(
filled with compassion
)
A spiritual void? Omigosh, is that something serious?

KARINE

I don't know, but it's got me worried sick! He's always complaining of stomach aches.

MARIE 2

Oh c'mon, Karine, you shouldn't worry yourself about it… everyone has one of those… spiritual voids…

For no apparent reason, one of the men breaks into noisy sobbing and falls flat on the floor. They all stop dancing. The instructor turns off the music.

SOBBING MAN

I'm sorry… I'm really sorry. Please excuse me. Really, nothing's wrong, nothing in particular. It has something to do with energy, circulation, fluids; it's a mystery to me, but it happens from time to time. I'm not sad or anything; it's just to do with my body, a “physical memory” someone said. It's like if you're having a massage and they touch a particular spot… you know, certain places that… and you aren't expecting it, but you just start crying like crazy. You say, “My God, get over it. It's just a massage. It's not like it hurts or anything,” but you can't stop crying anyway, even if there's absolutely nothing weighing on your mind, nothing sad anyway. You cry just the same. The first time, I thought, “Here we go. I'm having a
rebirth
,” and I was actually relieved. I had been longing for it, but in therapy it never happened; still it finally did happen. It must not have been a rebirth because I was no different, not transformed or anything, not lighter, just tired from crying. You're supposed to know, aren't you, when you're having a rebirth?

They all stare at him, speechless.

I'll think I'll have a drink of water.

They start dancing again.

In one couple, the
BOYFRIEND
's obviously having a lot of trouble.

BOYFRIEND

(
just can't get it
)
Christ.

Pause.

GIRLFRIEND

…You're going against the beat… One!… Five! No, you missed it again.

BOYFRIEND

He said not to tell me if I get it wrong. You're not supposed to say anything.

GIRLFRIEND

Eh?

BOYFRIEND

He said to follow me, even if I get it wrong. Just follow and wait for me to get it right.

GIRLFRIEND

Boy, that's dumb. If you're off the beat, I'm gonna tell you, so we can get back on… Five! Nope, that's not it again.

BOYFRIEND

I'm not the one that's supposed to change.

GIRLFRIEND

What?

BOYFRIEND

That's what he said: the man does not adjust to the woman. Boy, do I love salsa!

GIRLFRIEND

Stop being so dumb, Marc-André. Suppose you drown—do you really think I'm gonna drown with you?
(
He steps on her foot.
)
Ouch! Watch what you're doing!

BOYFRIEND

I signalled I was changing direction!

GIRLFRIEND

No you didn't! You stepped on my foot. That's not signalling!

BOYFRIEND

I did too signal, but you were talking the whole time. You just don't pay attention!

GIRLFRIEND

What do you mean you signalled?

BOYFRIEND

On your shoulder blade. Slight pressure on the shoulder blade. You've got to tune in to your shoulder blade, Josée.

GIRLFRIEND

Hey, enough of this power trip, okay.

BOYFRIEND

Can you just be quiet for a minute please? There are decisions I have to make.

GIRLFRIEND

Marc-André, cut that out!

BOYFRIEND

You're the one that got us into this salsa stuff.

GIRLFRIEND

Yeah, well, I'm not so crazy about it after all.

MARIE 2

The world's face is torn off to be filed away in treaties, paintings and maps. East and West come to mirror one another, each celebrating its share in the other, being both revelation and revealer by turns; painting transcends all mistrust and all invasions. Still, disenchantment reigns in the hearts of men.

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