“Why are these on my wrists?” I wailed as I stared down at restraints similar to the ones I wore after Ryder pulled me from the ocean. My breathing became labored, and there was a tightening in my chest. I felt imprisoned.
“Calm down, baby.” He was at my side, trying to get me to lie back down. “It’s just a precaution.”
“This is not a precaution, Ryder. What the fuck happened? Why did you let them do this to me?” I pulled at the cuffs, but I knew from experience I wouldn’t be able to take them off.
“You fell from the terrace at the house.”
“I fell or…” I narrowed my eyes when I saw the accusation in his eyes. “You think I jumped.” It wasn’t a question because I saw it all over his face.
“No, I don’t think anything. I just want you to get better.”
“I don’t know what happened.” I tried to conjure up any memories, but I came up blank. “I would never do that, Ryder.” If he didn’t believe me, no one would. He leaned in and kissed me.
“Ryder, please, I can’t go through this again. Everyone coming in here, looking at me like I’m crazy. You’re already doing it. Please make them take these off.”
“Okay, baby. I’ll make them take it off.” He stood to go get a doctor.
“Do you believe me?” He stared at me silently, swiping a hand across the back of his neck. “Why would I do this? I’m happy.
You
make me happy. Why would I do this now?”
“If you tell me you didn’t do it, then I believe you.”
“I didn’t.” He kissed my forehead, then left the room.
~*~*~
Ryder got them to remove the cuffs. They were apprehensive about it because Mom didn’t trust my word. Especially since I had no memory of what happened.
She flew into the room the minute Ryder informed her I was awake. I didn’t know how she got to Vegas so fast, but my mother would move heaven and earth to be at my side when I was hurt. We’d been lying silently for almost an hour, and she was hovering. Her hand caressed my hair as she curled up next to me on the opposite side of the arm I’d broken.
“I know it’s been hard on you, but I’ve been so angry with you for what you did.” She broke the silence that had settled over us.
The tight feeling returned in my chest as I watched my mother’s eyes tear up. We never talked about this, and I wasn’t sure I could handle talking about it now. I was too emotionally wrung out. “You know why I did it.”
“Of course I know. I know you and Alec were inseparable, and I know the grief you felt because I shared that feeling with you.” A tear fell down the side of her face and ran down onto my pillow. We were lying down facing each other, and there was no escaping the pain in her eyes.
“I always thought it was better if I didn’t talk to you about that night, but after this…”
“Mom, I know what everyone thinks, but I didn’t jump off that balcony.”
She nodded, but she didn’t believe me. “When your dad died and then Alec a few years later, I was so angry at them for leaving us. But I knew they didn’t choose to leave us, and in time, I came to terms with their deaths. But what you did…” She shook her head and continued. “You chose to leave me. Even knowing how devastated I was from losing your brother, you chose to hurt me.”
“Mom, I never wanted to hurt—”
“But you did,” she cried out, her voice broken with emotion. “When I saw you lying on the beach that night, I almost passed out from the pain that exploded inside my chest. I wondered what kind of cruel joke it had to be for me to lose everyone I loved and be left here alone.”
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I whispered through the tears that began to fall.
“Lexi, I love you, and all I want is for you to be happy. I can’t spend every day wondering if this is the day you give up and I lose everything.” Her arms wrapped around me, and she pulled me against her chest, kissing the top of my head.
“I won’t leave you, Mom,” I promised as we cuddled there, and I finally found sleep as she held me in her arms.
Chapter
Thirty-Seven
Alexis
One more night in the hospital and then I’d be released. The doctors thought I’d lost my memory because I hit my head, and they weren’t sure when I’d get my memory back. Mom finally went to her hotel, but only after David convinced her Ryder had everything under control. The door opened as I was trying to sit up from my uncomfortable position.
“What are you doing here?” I asked in surprise.
“What? A guy can’t visit his girl after she plummets three stories into a pool?” Jacob’s smile was contagious, so I grinned, but I still chastised him.
“It’s way too soon for jokes.”
“Who else is going to get you to use that beautiful smile?”
“No one,” I huffed. “Everyone else comes in here and acts like I’m on my deathbed.” He pulled up a chair and sat down on my right side. His face turned serious for a moment, and I didn’t like it. Jacob was my fun friend; he was supposed to keep me laughing.
“You nearly
did
die.”
“I know. Trust me, I know.” I sighed, dropping my head back against the pillow.
“So how are you?” he asked.
“Well, besides the non-stop headache and the constant pain shooting through my arm, I’m actually a lot better than the last time I was in a hospital bed.”
“Well, good, because I’m here to make you smile.”
I reached out with my good arm and playfully ruffled his hair. He closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. “You’re a nice kid.” He looked up at me and frowned.
“Kid?” He jumped up from his seat and held his arms open wide. “I’m one hundred eighty pounds of power.” He threw a dimpled smile my way. “Don’t think because Ryder’s got me by six years I’m not man enough for you. I’m young and virile.” He flexed his biceps. He was so animated I couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. “I’ve got six years of more endurance than him.” Then he started making lewd thrusting gestures with his hips, and I laughed until tears rolled down my face. He chuckled at himself, then dropped back down into his seat.
“Thank you,” I said once I calmed down my giggles.
“For what?”
“For being you and making me laugh.”
“Anytime, Lexi. On a serious note, I have to confess I was wrong.”
“About what?” I tilted my head, waiting for his reply.
“Ryder,” he answered.
I raised my eyebrows and grinned. “Wow, a man who admits he’s wrong. I might still fall for you after all,” I joked.
“Well, too bad, because I don’t want you anymore.” He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged.
“You would so take me.”
“
Fuck, yeah
, I would.” He looked at me like I was crazy, and I laughed at his quick change in demeanor. He leaned in and rested his face on the sidebar connected to the bed. “You know I was there when you fell?” I sobered up immediately.
“Ryder lost his fucking mind. I don’t know what was worse, watching you fall or watching the gut-wrenching pain that tore through Ryder. He loves you.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah… he really does.”
“I know, Jacob, I know.”
He stayed and kept me entertained for almost an hour before he had to leave. “Thanks again for coming.” I gave him a one-handed hug before he started backing away toward the door.
“I’m officially team Lexi. If my sister tries to fuck with you, just call me, because I’ll take her down.” He pointed at me while nodding his head.
“Sure you would.” I turned up my lip in disbelief.
“I’d so take her down for you. Of course, Mom would kick my ass afterward.” He shrugged. “Something about family loyalty and all that.”
“Well, don’t worry about me. I can handle your sister.”
“Thank God.” He sighed in relief, swiping a hand over his forehead. “Leah’s pretty tough for a broad.” I laughed as he exited the room, running into Ty and Shelby as they came in. I was having an extremely busy day. Seems like when you almost die, you’re guaranteed a visit by everyone you knew.
Shelby hugged me. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Sorry. I wish they didn’t call you.”
“What? Why would you say that?”
“You’ve been through enough, Shells. I don’t want you worried about me. I would’ve called you when I woke up.”
“That’s the thing. No one knew if you were going to wake up. Ty said there was so much blood. Right, babe?” Shelby glanced back at Ty.
He just stared down at me with a straight face and solemn expression. “Say something, Ty, the silence is killing me here.” He took the seat nearest to me, and Shelby backed away. He grabbed my hand and put it to his lips. “The first conversation we ever had I asked you not to hurt Ryder, and—”
“Ty, I don’t remember what happened, but I know I would never hurt Ryder that way. I didn’t—” I tried to sit up so I could look him in the eyes.
“Shh… let me finish.” I relaxed, leaning back against the mountains of pillows my mom brought for me. “I asked you not to hurt him, but since then you’ve become part of our family. It’s not just about him anymore. We all love you. I’ve never been as scared as the moment you fell out of the sky.
Jesus, Lexi!
Don’t fucking do that shit again. Ryder practically died out there. They had to give him a sedative to calm him down.”
This was the first I was hearing of this. No one wanted to give me much detail of how I fell and anything that happened afterward.
“You’re an amazing person, and I can see why Ryder has loved you for so long. I just don’t want you to feel so lost you can’t come to us. We’re fighters. We don’t give up. It’s not the code we live by. If you ever need to come to me, I’m here for you.”
“I promise to come to you if I can’t go to Ryder, but I didn’t do what you think. You saw me. I was happy.”
“I also know you got into it with Leah.”
“That’s bullshit, Ty. Ryder said we talked that through.” Ryder and I had a long conversation the night before, and he’d told me about everything that happened with his mom and Leah. The last thing I remembered was Ryder winning the championship. After that, it was all blank. “I didn’t jump. Can you just trust my word for it?”
He stared at me inquisitively. “I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask.”
He left after that, but Shelby stayed. She brushed my hair and braided it. We watched some old sitcom before Ryder came back, and she left.
“I brought you something to eat.” He smiled at me sheepishly, hiding a paper bag behind his back. For the first time in days, he looked so put together. He was wearing a white grunge T-shirt and a pair of blue frayed jeans that were cuffed up around white sneakers. He looked more delicious than what he was hiding in that bag.
“Is it of the
burger
variety?” I raised my brows.
“It is.” He held the greasy bag in front of me and waved it. It smelled delicious. If paradise actually had a smell, this would be it. I grabbed the bag, unfolded it, and sniffed.
Yup, paradise smelled like a greasy burger with matching fries.
“Sit.” I patted the empty space next to me on the bed. He got in carefully, afraid he’d hurt my arm. Truth was, Ryder nagged the nurse about the pain in my arm so much that I was pumped up with enough drugs that I barely felt my arm at all.
He fed me and even ate a couple bites himself. He’d defended his belt and won, so I convinced him to imbibe on a little junk food with me.
“So you’re getting out of here tomorrow.”
“No,
we’re
getting out of here tomorrow. You really should go home and sleep tonight.”
“Not happening, Lexi. I’m going to stay here until they release you. Then we’ll fly home together, and you’re moving into my place.”
“Wow, you’re really good at playing the domineering asshole.” I rolled my eyes at him.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“Yes, you did. You can’t just demand that I move in with you. It would’ve been nice if you gave me a choice.”
“Oh, I get it.” He tried to hide his cute little smirk, then turned toward me. “Lexi, will you please move into my place? I can’t survive there without you. Please…” He pressed his palms together, pouting his lips, obviously making fun of me.
“Since you asked nicely, I can do you this favor.” He shook his head, snaked his arm around my waist, and nuzzled my neck. “And I’m not going back to see Dr. Evans.”
His head shot up and he looked down at me. “What?”
“I heard you and my mom talking about me getting help.”
“I never said you needed to go back. It was your mom’s idea, and I told her you were fine. You may still need to mourn over Alec, but I know you’re not in that dark place anymore.”
“So you believe me?”
“Of course I do. What did I say to you last week when you wanted me to teach you how to fight?”
“You told me you didn’t want to teach me to fight other people. You wanted to teach me to fight for me.”
“And what was your response after that?” He gently pushed my hair back.
“I said I’d been fighting for me since you pulled me out of the ocean.”
“I know you still have occasional nightmares, and I know sometimes you get a glazed look in your eyes when a memory of Alec hits you. But I also know my Alexis has been a fighter since she wrestled me down to the ground for calling her a little girl. You had a moment of weakness; no one is strong all the time.”
I smiled. When I was fifteen, Ryder and Alec were going to crash a party, and I wanted to go. Ryder shut me down immediately. He’d said, “This party isn’t for little girls.” I knew why he didn’t want me there, and it pissed me off that he saw me as a baby sister when I felt so much more.
“I wasn’t a little girl. I was a young woman.”
“I didn’t give a fuck if you were thirty. I wasn’t going to spend the night trying to get a bunch of horny guys to back off.”
“Well, you ate dirt for it.” I’d wrestled him down and actually managed to hold his head in the sand for a couple seconds. It was amazing how strong you got when the guy you loved pissed you off.
“I let you drop me.”
“No, you didn’t. I took you down, Ryder Hayes, and don’t you forget it.”
“Baby, you can take me down whenever you want. I’ll even let you tie me down and have your way.”