Fight the Tide (18 page)

“Shh. It’s okay.” He tried to hold Parker close, but Parker squirmed away.

“It’s not. Because now she’s dead. I watched her die. I couldn’t do anything but hold her hand while her life ended. It happened so fast.” His gaze went distant. “One second it was… Shit, it was awesome. The sun was out, and I closed my eyes.” Another sob shuddered through him. “I’m sorry. I should have been watching. I shouldn’t have stopped, even for a second.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Adam ran a hand over Parker’s damp tangle of hair.

“I couldn’t help her. They bit her, and it was just…over. It was happening, and I couldn’t stop it. Like going over the top of a hill on a rollercoaster, and it’s too high, and you want to get off, but all you can do is finish it. I watched her blood pour out.” He ran a quivering hand over the stained wood. “She was so afraid.”

“You were there. She wasn’t alone.”

“But we’re all alone in the end.” His eyes glistened as he dug his fingers into Adam’s thigh. “Don’t you see? I’m going to die too. My luck will run out, and there won’t be anything you can do. I’ll have to say goodbye to you. I’ll have to leave, just like Abby did.”

“
No.”
It was practically a growl as he yanked Parker to his chest, wrapping him close. “I won’t let that happen.”

Parker’s voice was muffled in Adam’s neck, his breath wet and warm. “It happened so fast. She was right there with me.” He shivered. “I didn’t want to care.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, holding each other while Parker’s tears dried. When Parker eased back, he sniffed loudly. “What the fuck are we going to do? I promised her, Adam. I promised we’d take care of Jacob, and Craig, and Lilly.”

“We will. We’ll do everything we can. We’ll get through this.”

He stared at the blood stains. “I don’t want Jacob to see this.”

“Well… They could stay with us until we find another boat. Until we find a home.”

Still staring at the blood, Parker seemed to consider it. “It would be safer to be together. Only one boat to worry about. We wouldn’t have privacy, but… Yeah, it’s safer. That’s what matters for now. I promised her.” He shook his head. “But we’re not going to find a place where we can stay. It’s not going to happen.”

Adam took a deep breath and exhaled. “Craig and I discussed checking out Salvation Island.” As Parker tensed and opened his mouth, he added, “Safely, from a distance.”

“Dude, come
on.
” Parker waved his hands sharply and jumped to his feet. “It has to be a trap. No one starts some peace-and-love commune during the non-zombie apocalypse. It’s bullshit.”

“We don’t know that. It could be a good place. We’re going to start running out of food. Gas. The supply is finite. If we can find a safe place to rebuild, to have a community… We need that. The kids need that.” Adam got to his feet too.

“A community? How? We need to focus on surviving. I think the best way to do that is to keep moving.”

“And then what?”

“I don’t know.” Parker huffed out an exhalation. “None of us know jack shit. But we’re already more vulnerable with Lilly and Jacob. We need to stay vigilant. We can’t trust people. It’ll only end up biting us in the ass.”

“Maybe. But we also can’t sail around indefinitely. We need to
live
, not just survive. Lilly and Jacob need stability. The ocean isn’t exactly known for that.”

Rubbing a hand over his face, Parker groaned. “Using the kids to guilt me is not fucking fair.”

“It’s the truth. We all need to find a home. And we’ll go to Salvation Island with eyes open. Ready to defend ourselves. Ready to attack if need be. But I think we have to at least try.” His breath came short and quick, hope and excitement ricocheting through him like pinballs.

After a few moments, Parker’s shoulders sank. “Fine. We can check it out. From a distance! Like, a really far distance.”

Adam smiled, breathing more easily. “You won’t regret it. I have a feeling.”

“I already do, but here’s hoping.” Grimacing, he hobbled over to the open container of bleach and screwed on the cap.

Relief that Parker had agreed was eclipsed by worry. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“Think I’ve got a few splinters from the pier. Guess I was distracted before, but they’re starting to really sting now. I need some tweezers.”

“Sit.” Adam picked up Parker by his hips, placing him down on the closest seat.

“Whoa. Easy there. I’m fine, you don’t have to get all growly.”

Kneeling, Adam lifted Parker’s right foot. “This one?” He leaned in and prodded.

“Yeah, that’s—” He hissed. “Right there.”

Extending his claws, Adam gently nicked open one of the swollen wounds to pry out the piece of wood. “You should have said you were hurt.”

“I really didn’t feel it. Was just thinking about the kids.” His heart skipped around with dull thuds, and his eyes went distant again. “It happened so fast. I keep saying that, don’t I? But why were they under the boardwalk? It’s dark down there. I never thought… I should have been paying more attention. I heard something, but I thought it was just the waves, and I closed my eyes…”

“Look at me.” Adam held Parker’s chin, waiting for his gaze to focus again. “No matter how many times you relive it, you can’t change it.”

“I know, but…”

“After the accident, I tortured myself for years. If I hadn’t been bugging my sisters and playing that stupid video game, maybe it would have been different. My parents wouldn’t have been distracted. Would have seen the truck in time.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Parker brushed back Adam’s hair. “You were just a kid.”

“I know. And you did your best today. We all do.”

Nodding, Parker pressed his lips together, blinking rapidly. “Okay.” He swiped at his eyes. “I’ve got to get my shit together.” Wincing, he circled his foot. “I think there are a couple more.”

Carefully, Adam removed the other splinters. Then he kissed Parker until the sun came up, and it was time to leave Abby and the
Saltwater Taffy
behind.

H
e couldn’t get
up.

Parker was on
Bella
’s deck, the wood wet under his bare skin. He pushed with his hands, getting his arms under him, but it was useless, as if he was stuck in molasses. He couldn’t find Adam. But Eric was there, out of reach. He was saying something Parker couldn’t understand, and Abby was there too, dying at his feet, her eyes going glassy with the last spurts of blood, her heart stopping.

He heaved again, trying uselessly to get his noodle legs under him.

Then Shorty loomed into his field of vision, stale tobacco-stink breath choking Parker. Then they weren’t on the boat at all, but back in the Cape house in Chatham, and he was on the kitchen floor, and his family were gone, but Shorty was there.

Parker stared up at the pad of paper on the wall by the phone, an illustrated lobster smiling back at him, a note written in Mom’s neat script filling out the edges of the pad, arcing gracefully around the lobster’s dangling claws. But he was too far away to read it, no matter how he squinted. His legs still wouldn’t work, and Shorty laughed and smacked his ass—

“
Parker
.”

Sucking in salty air, he popped his eyes open. Kneeling beside him on the deck at the bow, Adam brushed a hand gently over Parker’s head.

“It was only a dream,” Adam murmured. “Could hear your heart. Nightmare?”

Parker pushed himself up on his hand. “No, it’s fine,” he lied, his pulse still racing. He’d only intended to stretch out on the deck for a few minutes, but the sun was much farther to the west now.
Bella
swayed gently, and Craig waved from behind the wheel.

“Shit. Didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Parker mumbled. He forced himself to squint up at the sails and shove away the clinging tendrils of the nightmare.

I’m fine. I can do this. I’m not broken.

He managed a cheerful tone as he examined the sails. “They look good. Nice angle to catch the wind.”

“We’re taking care of everything. You can go back to sleep. Right, sailor?” Adam smiled at Lilly, who sat midship on one of the benches, watching them solemnly. She didn’t smile back, dropping her head instead. Adam’s smile faded, and he sighed. “We need to talk about that later,” he whispered to Parker.

Frowning, Parker nodded. “How’s Jacob?”

“The same. He’s back in the cabin.” Adam was still for a moment. “Sleeping, at least.”

“Good. Let me check our navigation.” With a yawn, he got to his feet and went to take the wheel from Craig.

“I’ll get started on dinner,” Adam said. “See what kind of canned vegetables we can hide in that jar of alfredo sauce.”

Parker checked the instruments to make sure they were still on course. He’d examined the nautical charts so often he practically had them memorized. They were still on course south, land off to their right. Putting on his sunglasses, Parker watched a plume of smoke rise in the distance before he turned away.

While Craig and Lilly untangled some fishing line, Parker trimmed the sails, the wind changing direction a few degrees. He wondered if Jacob would sleep the whole day away. Probably, and he couldn’t blame the kid.

It had been two days since Abby. He and Adam had moved over everything from the other boat and hoisted the sails at dawn. Jacob had barreled up from below and parked himself at the stern, staring back at the peninsula where his mother was buried. He’d stayed there long after the coast had curved and Abby was miles gone.

After a few minutes at the wheel, Parker glimpsed a flicker of white. Craig and Lilly were still organizing fishing equipment, Craig keeping up a steady patter and praising Lilly for a job well done a little too enthusiastically. Parker zeroed in on the sail as they got closer, watching and waiting.

It was as if he could smell stale cigarette smoke on the wind, and part of him hoped it was actually them. Because this time he’d be ready, and Adam was there, and Shorty and his pals would be in for a rude fucking surprise once—

“Is that another boat?” Lilly asked.

“Uh-huh.” Parker lifted the binoculars. He couldn’t see the stern to read the name, but the vessel didn’t seem big enough to be
The Good Life
. Its sails were up, luffing madly, and the boat listed to starboard, turned at too much of an angle for the wind. Parker bit down a swell of irritation. More people at sea who had no goddamn idea what they were doing. “We’re keeping our distance.”

“What if they need help?” Craig asked, peering out.

Then they’re on their own.
“We’ll see.” He said sharply, “Adam!”

“I don’t think he can hear you over the wind.” Craig motioned to Lilly. “Sweetie, go down and get him.”

She froze. “But…”

Adam of course appeared a moment later, having heard just fine. Parker handed him the binoculars. After a minute of Parker’s heart pounding, wondering how Adam could stand to hear all the sounds he did at once, Adam lowered the binoculars. He shook his head.

“They’re infected. At least one dead. The others are…hungry.”

“Are you sure?” Craig asked. “God.” He wrapped an arm around Lilly’s thin shoulders. “Guess we will keep our distance after all.”

“I told you,” Parker muttered.

Adam said, “Craig, why don’t you go down and finish dinner? Put on some water to boil for the pasta?”

“Yeah, okay. Let’s do that.” Craig hustled Lilly down below.

Coming up behind, Adam wrapped his arms around Parker’s middle. He brushed his lips over the nape of his neck. “It’s okay.”

Tensing, Parker jabbed at the radar screen. “I know it is. But that boat could have been anyone. Could have been those assholes from up the coast, or someone like them. We can’t be thinking about helping people all the time. Craig’s way too trusting.”

“We might be the ones who need help one day.”

He wriggled out of Adam’s embrace. “We’ll be just fine. I’m not trying to be an asshole, but we live in a different world now. Come on.”

Crossing his arms, Adam kept his voice soft. “I’m not saying we don’t. Pretty sure Craig isn’t either, given his girlfriend just bled to death a couple days ago. We approach people with caution. I’m not an idiot, you know.”

“I
know.
” He untied and retied a few knots in one of the lines. “But you and Craig are too… I don’t know. Optimistic.”

“I think you’re cynical enough for all of us.”

“I’m being real!” Lowering his voice, Parker shook his head. “You guys think we’re going to find some Utopian retreat where kids can play hide-and-seek and pretend the world isn’t fucked. It’s a fantasy.”

“Maybe it is. But we have to try.”

“Even if it gets us killed?”

“I won’t let that happen.” Adam closed the distance between them and took the rope from Parker’s hands, grasping them. “I’ll never let that happen.”

“You’re a werewolf,” Parker whispered. “You’re not God, and you’re not immortal. You can’t protect us from everything. Can’t protect me.”

Craig appeared, bringing a stack of four plates up to the outdoor table. “Thought we could eat up here once we find a place to anchor. Jacob says he’s not hungry.” He rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I’ll let it go for today, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. After Lilly’s mom, we still had all this…stuff. School and work and church and a whole bunch of things.” He stared at the plates. “Doesn’t feel the same now. I’m trying to keep things normal for their sake, but…what the heck is that? Normal.”

“I don’t know,” Adam said. “But we’ll figure it out.” He clapped Craig on the shoulder.

Craig lifted his head, jolting a bit. His eyes were red-rimmed, his voice weary as he said, “Yeah. Thanks. Sorry, I’m…” He squared his shoulders and took a deep breath. “I’m fine.” He disappeared back down.

Adam took Parker’s face in his hands, his gaze intense. “I’ll protect you. I swear.”

Parker could only nod. He knew Adam meant it with every fiber of his being, but the persistent fear that it wouldn’t be enough coiled around him, tighter and tighter with every mile closer to Salvation Island.

*