Fighting Fate (37 page)

They had floated through the time in their lives when raising a family was important to them. While their friends were taking extended winter vacations, my parents were tied up going to my school conferences. While their friends were becoming grandparents for the first time, I was fretting over my first bra. Now, their friends were all checking out lavish retirement communities and my parents had finally had a reason to dip into my college fund.

There was no denying that we had a larger than average generational gap between us. Sometimes, it was difficult to traverse, making it impossible to have a reasonable conversation. Other times, I couldn’t blame it on my parents’ ages. Unless I wrote it off as senility. Because every now and then, our conversations were flat-out foolish.

“These things, they happen,, tnilit” my mother said. She settled onto a wingback chair next to where I was seated on the matching sofa. She made no attempt to make herself comfortable. She sat on the edge, her back straight and her sympathy at a minimum.

“That’s all you have to say about it? These things
happen
?” I cried. “They shouldn’t happen.”

“I didn’t say they
should
. I said they
do
.” She handed me another tissue. “You just need to hold your head high and move forward.”

“You’re not listening to me,” I pointed out. “I told you. I can’t do this. I can’t marry him. I don’t want to marry him.”

“Of course you do. You’re just upset right now. That is completely understandable. But you need to think ahead. Everyone is counting on this wedding taking place. Do you know how many people have already flown in? Even if they haven’t arrived yet, airline tickets have been purchased. Gifts have been wrapped.”

“Gifts are returnable!” I argued. I wasn’t sure about flights so I didn’t go there.

“Just,” she took a breath, “just get through the next two days. You and Collin can work on things later.”

“What if I don’t want to work on things?”

“You have years invested in this relationship. Do you really want to just walk away from it?”

“After last night, I don’t even know if Collin wants to marry me! Is that why he…” I burst into tears. They clearly made my mother uncomfortable. She shifted in her chair.

“Of course he wants to marry you,” Gwen declared.

My head snapped up at the sound of Collin’s mother’s voice. She rushed into the room and took a seat next to me, immediately putting her arm around my shoulder.

“Oh, darling, he made a terrible, terrible mistake. You have to forgive him.” Her voice was so soft, so reassuring. Or maybe I just wanted the reassurance and I latched onto it. “He’s a mess. And he should be,” she firmly replied.

“Then why isn’t he here?” I demanded. I realized I was fidgeting with my bracelet again. I dropped my hands to my sides.

“To be honest, he wasn’t sure if you would speak to him. He didn’t want to make matters worse.”

“I don’t know how they could possibly get any worse,” I blubbered.

She was quiet for a moment and I glanced over at her. She was distorted through my tears. I could tell she was trying to assess the situation, trying to determine how upset I really was.

“I can’t believe he sent you to talk to me. He should be here talking to me. He should be here groveling and apologizing and begging for me to…” I faded off, knowing none of that mattered. I didn’t think I could forgive him anywayiveade a . Even still, it would’ve been the decent thing to do, making the effort.

“Don’t be silly,” she gently said. “He didn’t send me. I insisted on coming. I thought you’d be more…reasonable if you spoke with me.”

“Of course she’s being reasonable,” my mother declared.

“Does that mean, Lillian, that the wedding is still on?” She directed the question to my mother, not to me. I bristled, ready to verbally retaliate but my mother spoke first.

“The wedding is still on.” Her answer was decisive. I slumped back into the cushions, shaking my head but no words came out. “We’ve spent months planning for this. Everything is paid for. Several of the out of town guests have already arrived. Ronald and I have been discussing this all morning. It really is the best option.”

“It would be so incredibly rude to cancel at this point,” Gwen said softly.

She said the words to my mother but I knew that they were meant for me. I had a sickening hunch that they’d rehearsed this conversation to some extent prior to Gwen’s arrival.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. I stood from the couch, tugging myself from Gwen’s grip. “I’m not doing it. I’m not going through with it. If he doesn’t even have the decency to talk to me now, how are things going to be better later? No. The wedding is off.”

“Holly?” Collin’s voice made me wince.

I snapped my head around to look at him. He was flanked by each of our fathers. Mine gave me a weak smile. Thomas had his hand on his son’s shoulder and he escorted him into the room. Collin’s eyes were red-rimmed. His usually perfect hair was abnormally messy. Overall, he looked oddly disheveled. I didn’t find it the least bit endearing. I thought it served him right. In fact, I thought he should look a whole lot worse.

“Sweetheart,” my mother said calmly, “please sit back down. I think we all need to have a little talk.”

I glanced around the room at my mother, Gwen, my father, Thomas…and Collin. All of them were watching me, waiting expectantly. I felt my knees give way beneath me. I slid, collapsed really, back onto the sofa.

I suddenly felt as though an intervention was about to take place. And somehow, I was the one at the center of it.

***

“Your mother said
what
?” Lanna demanded.

“That he was probably just sowing his wild oats.”

“Do people still even use that expression?! Never mind. Apparently your mother does. Go on.” She twirled her hand in the air. It was her usual cue for me to proceed.

“They’re all convinced going through with the wedding is the right choice.”

“Is this…is this because they’re
so old
?” Lanna demanded.

I had shown up on her doorstep. She’d grabbed me by the elbow, towed me inside, straight up the steps to her room. Now I was sitting on her bed. I had yet another box of tissues in my lap. Lanna was standing in front of me. Her body twitched every now and then. I could tell she was angrier than she wanted to let on. She was trying to keep her emotions, her opinions, in check for my benefit.

I was grateful because I knew that wasn’t an easy task for my friend.

“You’re dying to say something,” I pointed out. “What is it?”

“Do they think they need to marry you off, in case something happens to them? So you’ll be provided for? Is that what the big push is?”

“
Lanna
!” That particular thought had never actually crossed my mind. Yet now that it was out there, I couldn’t exactly refute it, either. My parents weren’t like my friends’ parents. It was hard to wrap my head around their reasoning a lot of the time.

“What?” she asked with an unapologetic shrug. “They do have a tendency toward all things old-fashioned. I could see them wanting to marry you off.”

I stared at her a moment. Were my parents anxiously waiting to push me out of the nest, so to speak? They
were
anxious to join their friends, head south and become snowbirds. So maybe it
wasn’t
an entirely crazy thought.  I shook my head, needing to deal with one thing at a time. Right now the reason wasn’t
why
my parents wanted me to get married. The pressing fact was that
I had agreed
. After listening to the four of them, five if you counted the handful of utterances from Collin, it had all made sense. Everything they said sounded so logical. They were all so reassuring. The familiarity of all of them surrounding me had calmed me. But now, now that I was with Lanna I was starting to think—

“You need to get a grip on this situation!” she proclaimed, cutting into my thoughts.

“My mom thinks this probably scared him into learning his lesson. His mom—”

She cut me off with a scoff that sounded more like a snort. “Your families are
waayyyy
too close, Holly. That’s a huge part of the problem right there.”

She was right. Despite the age gap between them, our mothers had been friends since we were children. They had met at a water aerobics class. Since both of them were housewives, with housekeepers, they’d had a fair amount of free time on their hands. Collin and I had our first play date before I had turned two.

Our mothers’ friendship had blossomed. Play dates led to dinners that included their husbands. Dinners led to family vacations that took up a good chunk of goetw the summer. Summer vacations, apparently, led to marrying their children off to each other. Until last night, this had always been fine with me. It was what I had thought I always wanted. I’d known Collin almost my entire life. His family already felt like my own family.

My father owned the largest architectural firm in the area. Our mothers claimed that it wasn’t coincidence, rather providence that they’d met. Collin’s father owned a construction company. One that had started off small but had grown immensely over the years. This was in large part thanks to my own father who referred him as a top choice to all of his clients. The duo of Hannigan and Reynolds now had quite the reputation for amazing buildings. Not just locally, but all over the state.

I ignored Lanna’s comment because I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of agreeing. And I’d be lying if I tried to disagree.

“His mom said he was really torn up. When he showed up, he looked awful. I could tell he’d been crying.” Never mind that he’d barely spoken to me. Our parents did most of the talking. Collin stared at the floor between his feet.

We both listened while I was told over and over again that things would be okay. I just had to get through the next few days and we’d deal with the rest later. Collin had nodded his agreement when he’d been prompted for an answer. He hadn’t bothered to look at me. My mother said it was likely because he was so ashamed of himself. His mother assured me that she was right.

“Torn up about being caught? Or torn up about possibly losing his internship with your dad?”

My gaze flicked to her and then back to my lap. It was no secret that my dad would be retiring soon. Collin was much more interested in the architectural aspect of building than the constructing. If all went as planned, he would take over my father’s business after he earned his degree.

“He doesn’t have to marry me to take over for my dad someday!”

“No,” she said softly, “possibly not. But it sure does help solidify his future. Don’t you think?”

I lifted my head to look at her, my mouth was gaping open. I snapped it shut for just a second. Then I managed to find my voice again. “That’s a horrible thing to say!”

I moved, preparing to jump off the bed but she tossed herself down beside me. She put an arm around my shoulders to anchor me in place.

“I’m sorry. I know that sounds harsh but someone needs to point out these cold hard facts. Sweetie, I
am
sorry. But it looks like it’s going to have to be me. Just try not to hate me for it. Okay?”

I nodded because it’s what she expected.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Are you sure you don’t know who he was with? You didn’t even catch a glimpse of her face?”

I shook my head. “I think I panicked. I ran because I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. That’s all I could think about. Getting out of there. I don’t know what I would’ve done if Max had left.”

“Why
did
he stay?” she wondered.

“He said he had a bad feeling.” I’d already told her about the car in the driveway. “He was just coming up to the door to check on me. I came running out and slammed into him. I’m so glad he was there to drive me home. I don’t know where I would’ve gone, otherwise.”

“So all you saw were the boots,” she muttered. “Who even wears cowboy boots anyway? This is Minnesota, not Montana. And not just cowboy boots but white ones?”

“With gemstones,” I glumly added.

She wrinkled her nose at me.

I shrugged. From the start she’d seemed obsessed about finding out who it had been. Me? I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t want to know. Just knowing there had been someone was bad enough. She’d accused me of being in denial. As if knowing who it was could possibly make it more real, therefore harder to move on from.

I didn’t think that was true. I assured her it was plenty real enough.

I needed a break from talking about myself. “I’m so glad you’re back,” I told her.

She’d only been back for a few weeks, having studied abroad for a year, in Australia.

“I missed you, too. But I had so much fun. I’m kind of pissed I had to come back.”

“You should be,” I said.

Her mom was on husband number four. He’d convinced Lanna’s mom that studying abroad was not worth the expense. The only way she’d be allowed to continue her education in Australia, they decided, was if she’d like to delve into the inheritance her dad had left her. She’d debated but decided against it. It wasn’t that her mom didn’t have the money. It was simply that she’d have to go outside of Lanna’s college fund to cover the extra expenses. While that hadn’t been a problem last year at this time, now that her mom had remarried, it had very much become one.

“I don’t know why she has to be attracted to such losers. Or why she doesn’t ever realize it until it’s too late. In a year or two, Gerald will probably be kicked out on his ass. Then she’ll change her mind and tell me Australia was a
fantastic
idea. And then it’ll be too late,” she pouted. “But,” she said, pointing her finger at me, “we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you.”

I knew the reprieve was too good to last.

I realized she was watching me carefully. “Do you want to hear what I think?”

“Probably not,” I mumbled.

She threw her hands up in the air. “Of course you don’t. Because I might actually have a logical thought. One that might interfere with all of this craziness you agreed to.” She stopped to take a few deep breaths to calm herself. “Postpone it. Just postpone it! You can’t be expected to make this kind of thinddecision under such duress!”