Fighting for Arielle (23 page)

Unable to hold in rational thought any longer, I shove him back with both of my hands and scream, “I hate you!”

From there, things begin to get a little foggier.
 In my head, I note again how other-worldly the entire experience is for me.  It just doesn’t seem like real life.

“You fucking bitch!”
 

I feel my back hit the wall hard
, as my head translates the words.  I want to stand up, fight back- something -but I can’t.  I feel his fists on the top of my head, striking it repeatedly, until I think I hear the front door open and a blood curdling growl come from that direction   My head feels fuzzy, and I can hear things banging around, punches being thrown, expletives being shouted, Swanks’ feet scurrying across the floor, and my name being said, maybe screamed, becoming increasingly faint.

Arielle

I
awake confused and disoriented.  Opening my eyes and allowing them to adjust to the brightness that previously shone through my eyelids, I begin to attempt to take in my surroundings.  My vision continues to be a bit fuzzy, but I discover the source of the light.  Directly above me, I see stark fluorescent lights.  Attempting to look about the room, my neck limits my investigation.  I am unable to turn it much, but I can see out of my peripheral vision an IV bag hanging on a stand with a monitor.  I slowly and painfully wiggle my fingers, feel both legs, and wiggle my toes.  They all seem to be there, albeit very stiff.  I attempt to move my left arm, and pain shoots throughout my shoulder and down my arm.  I realize it is in a sling.  I let out what should have been a cry of pain, but it manifested itself as a very dry croak.

I continue to feel pain throughout my body, but it becomes of less consequence when I hear, “Hey there,” in the kindest and most gentle manner.
 

I know that voice-
it’s the voice I’ve been hearing in my sleep.  It’s the voice of love and peace.  It’s the voice of McCrary.  Just hearing his voice in this moment makes all confusion subside.  I know that regardless of where I am and how I got here, I am filled with joy by his presence.  I endure some added pain to smile and reach out to make contact with the source of my elation.  I feel his warm, cautious touch upon my fingers, and I am assured that he is here with me.  McCrary moves within my line of sight so I can see his face filled with both concern and relief.  

A single tear trickles out of the corner of my right eye, but it is a tear of happiness.
 

“McCrar-” I push through my dry throat before I feel his lips so delicately meet mine.
 

His kiss tells me everything I need to know.
 It tells me of his concern for me.  It tells me of his relief I am awake.  It tells me he loves me.  It also tells me this must not be my first day at the hospital as an unshaven cheek that I’ve never felt before brushes mine.  

With tears and gratitude
in his eyes, he says, “Arielle, I’m so sorry.  I’m sorry I didn’t get to you sooner.  I’m so happy you’re awake.  I love you more than you will ever know.”

Feeling overwhelmed with emotion, I ask in a dry whisper, “How long have I been here?”

McCrary sits beside the bed, still holding my hand.  

“Two
days.”  

He takes my hand in both of his and kisses my knuckles gently.
 “Sweetie, I love you, more than life itself.  I love you, Arielle, and when you are discharged, I am taking you home.”

Gradually becoming less stiff, I run my thumb across his knuckles to return his affection.
 

“Have you been here the whole time?”

Smiling shyly, he replies, “Where else would I be?  I couldn’t dream of leaving for a second.”

I feel my heart swell and think about how worried and stressed he must have been just sitting here
, accompanied by only my silence.  

“I must have been the dullest of company.
 How does one pass the time while their sleeping beauty snores away?”

McCrary’s face softens
, and his eyes grow relaxed and a little coy.  

Shrugging, he explains, “I read aloud to you.
 I read your favorite Shakespearean sonnets, recited some Shel Silverstein, and even sang you a show tune or two.”

“You did that for me?”

“It was partially self-serving.  You can only make so many games and songs involving your snores before you begin to feel a little loopy.”

I adore his sense of humor, even in the most stressful of situations.
 

***

A
s time presses forward, I become more coherent, sleep less, and am better able to focus, but I cannot remember much after hearing McCrary come into my apartment.  I think back to how close I came to potentially losing my life that night.  And for what?  I also wonder when Brody came back into port.  He didn’t give me any indication that he was back.  He wasn’t scheduled to be back for another week or more.  McCrary steps out of the room to take a phone call and get some food.  I feel bad that he’s been stuck here in this tiny room for so long, but I do love his scruffy look.  He looks all rugged, disheveled, and super sexy.  If only I wasn’t stuck in this stupid hospital bed with a battered and bruised body.

McCrary comes back into the room holding a Pepsi,
cup of ice, and a paper bag.  “Wanna tell me what’s swirling around in your noggin?”

He pours some Pepsi into the ice and hands it to me.
 He knows that while I don’t drink soda often, my choice is a cold Pepsi on ice when I do.  

“Thank you for my drink.”
 I smile at him, and he returns it with one of his own.  “Nothing much is swirling around up there.  I was just thinking about how cute you are when you’re scruffy.”

McCrary chortles and says, “I guess you’ve never seen my scruffy side, have you?”

“Nope.  Just clean cut, clean shaven, properly squared away, McCrary.”  

I take a sip of my drink, place it on the table to the side of the bed, and look to McCrary guiltily.
 

“I can’t really remember what happened after I heard you come in. Can you tell me?
 I mean, how did you even know where I was or to come check on me?”

McCrary’s eyes still and his mouth tightens.
 

“You sure you want to hear the whole thing right now?”

I nod slowly in response.  

McCrary pulls a chair next to bed and takes a big gulp of cold soda before he clears his throat.
 

“I just had this ominous feeling all evening that something bad might happen.
 My friends even said I seemed a little off, but while we were texting, it was easy to cast aside.  Then, you stopped texting.  At first, I tried to tell myself that maybe you fell asleep or were playing piano or something else plausible.  The feeling ate away at me, so I went by the house, but you weren’t there.  I saw your phone on my bed and called Macy from it.  She told me you went to your apartment and gave me the address.

“I drove by your place, telling myself I was crazy and even
bordering on stalking.  When nothing looked or seemed out of the ordinary, I parked my car and rolled down the windows for some fresh air.  Then, I could hear some muffled voices and crying.  As I was walking to your front door, I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t get inside before I heard him scream at you followed by a huge crash.  My adrenaline took over; I kicked in the door and made out his figure, even in the dark.  I charged at him, pulling him to the ground.  I don’t know how many blows I delivered, or if I would’ve stopped if I hadn’t realized you were knocked out.  Seeing you there, helpless, injured, and unconscious was a moment of sheer terror.  

“My desire to torture him and make him pay penance for everything he’s ever done in his pathetic life was outweighed by my fear of you being seriously injured and the potential I might have to go on in this life without you.
 I called 911, found a lamp to turn on, and tended to you, hoping you were going to be alright.  You were in and out of consciousness.   Elkins lives in the same complex, so I called him for help.  Before he could get there to help, I heard your dickwad husband start to stir and moan, but I didn’t want to leave you.  That’s when the best moment of the entire night happened.  Swanks scurried over and sat on him so he couldn’t get up.  It was golden!  He looked at me, and I swear if he could talk, he would’ve said, ‘I got your back.’”

“Wow...
  I had no idea.”  I shake my head in disbelief, processing the information.  “I told you Swanks is the best ever.”

“Yeah...
  He’s kind of my hero now,” McCrary laughs.

“Mine too.”
 

I smile, but looking up to McCrary and realizing the possible ramifications of him risking life and limb for me
, delivers me to a place full of guilt.  I blink to try and keep tears from welling in my eyes.  

“I’m so sorry, McCrary
.  I had no idea Brody was back in port.  I feel so terrible for putting you in that situation.  I had no way of knowing he was in town.”

McCrary’s face fills
with pain, and his eyes cloud.  “I’m the one who should feel guilty, Arielle.  It’s all my fault that you were even put in this predicament in the first place.”

I reach out and hold his hand.
 

“That’s ridiculous.
 It’s no more your fault than it is my own, McCrary.  I chose to be with you, spend time with you, and move out- decisions I came to all on my own.”

His hand grows stiff
, and his jaw tightens.  

“That’s not what I meant.”
 He draws in a long, uneasy breath.  “I just hope you can forgive me,” he mutters.  

I wait for him to continue.
 

“I saw
Brody earlier in the evening: in the JAG office.  It turns out he knows Elkins.  I didn’t know who he was at first, but before Elkins even introduced me to him, I had a sneaking suspicion.”

“What?
 How?” I am in shock and a state of disbelief.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

McCrary’s eyes fill with sadness and sorrow.
 “I’m so ashamed of myself.  I just...I guess I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to alarm you.  Mostly because I was afraid if you knew he was here, you would feel compelled to go back home and not stay the weekend with me, and I was so afraid of what might happen if you went back to him.”  

He pauses to recover his words.
 

“I mean, if you went back to him being in your apartment.”

“That’s horse shit.  You said you were afraid I would go back to him, and you meant it.”  

I am hurt and beside myself.
 I can’t believe that he doubted me for one minute.  “I’m just...I don’t know what I am right now.  I’m just so dis-… No…  I thought you knew me better than that.  Hell, I thought I knew you better than that.  I guess I thought wrong.”

McCrary runs his fingers through his hair.
 “No, it’s not like that, Arielle.  I wasn’t afraid you would leave me for him or something outlandish like that.  The things he said about you...  He had no idea who I was, and he talked about you like you were no more than a piece of trash.  I cut him off, and if the time and opportunity had been right, I would have kicked his ass at that moment.”  He looks deflated.  “I was going to tell you when I got home, but when you said you were going to move out of there and agreed to wait until the next day to do it, I thought it would be better if I didn’t worry you or make you feel uneasy about him lurking around.  Truly, I am so deeply sorry and ashamed.  I have no other explanation other than that I am a selfish bastard, and I could have gotten you killed.  For that, I will never forgive myself.”

I am so gravely hurt
, and I feel somewhat betrayed, but I refuse to allow myself to cry.  I stare at McCrary in disbelief until a knock at the door disrupts my thoughts.

I look to the door and see Macy carrying her sunniest disposition.
 

“I heard someone finally woke up from her beauty sleep.”

“It’s about time, right?”  I try to say lightly.  “Although from the looks of things, I think it didn’t do me much good.”

Macy charges over to the bed and gives me a tearful and somewhat painful hug.
 

“I’m just so happy you’re alright
, Ari.  I’ve been so worried that I haven’t gotten much sleep.  Everyone at the gym is asking about you.  When McCrary called me and your family to let us know that you’re awake, I texted everyone I know to tell them, and I came straight here.  Don’t you EVER go and get hurt again!”

I plas
ter a weary smile on my face.  “I’m alright now, Mace.  You don’t have to worry.”

“Don’t have to worry?
 You were out.  Like a light.  Like cold.  I...we thought…there was a chance…”  

Macy rambles on, which is unlike her.
 She must have truly been shaken up by this whole ordeal.  Perhaps I don’t share the same sentiments because I am just learning the details.  All of them.  

“McCrary here has been the absolute best ever.
 He never left your side, like ever.  Well, except when I insisted I would be with you, and it would be fine for him to at least brush his teeth.”  

She laughs, and McCrary gives a half-hearted chuckle.
 

“He saved you!
 How crazy is that?  I wish you didn’t need saving, but you really did hit the boyfriend jackpot with him.  I swear he has no faults or flaws.”

I clear my throat with unease.
 Macy’s head looks over to a disheveled and sullen McCrary and then back to me.  Macy has always been able to sense when I need to talk or I’m not telling her everything.

“Micky?
 I am really, really thirsty for water, and I bet Ari is too.  Do you mind going to grab me some water and ice chips?  Not the big cubes, but the little chips.”  Macy smiles gratefully.