Fighting Heart: Fighting Heart Erotic Bad Boy Romance Series Book 1 (9 page)

Never leave the scene of a decision without taking action
. It was a principle I’d learned from my ex-boyfriend Fletcher. In fact it was probably the only good thing I ever learned from Fletch. And now as I confessed my fears to Cody I realised that I needed to do something about Brandon. Even if it turned out that I was just being a total paranoid freak and his intentions were perfectly genuine, it would surely be better to speak with him now than to fret and fume about it alone. I decided I would track him down and talk it through.  After class I went to the Union bar to see if he was there. I caught sight of Amanda again, hanging around with two of Brandon’s boy cronies near the pool table. I saw her look my way from underneath her shock fringe, but she didn’t bat an eyelid or say hello. By now I couldn’t have given two gift wrapped shits about Amanda’s opinion of me. Brandon wasn’t in sight, so I texted him. His reply came and it was unexpected:

“Writing in a Greenwich Café. Miss you. Come and see me if you can.”

That sounded very cool, but it didn’t let him off the hook. I texted him again to ask why.

“Doing a reading tonight in Greenwich Pub Theatre. Come down.”

Cody said Brandon was getting some traction with his writing and it sounded like he was right.

Brandon showed me around the Greenwich pub theatre. The pub was open for the afternoon crowd, and there were some tourists thumbing the theatre leaflets and a few people eating pies with their drinks. It was a typical student environment. The place was full of dark wood, so dark it felt black, with some kind of deep veneer which looked like a gloss. Brandon was proud of the whole thing. The venue wasn’t much, but it was a venue all the same, and Brandon Lynes name was on the flyer. Brandon was due to make a reading from his new book, Down the Dreamline. Brandon had been given a room to prepare for the whole day, a place to unwind and use as a base.

“The whole gig has been organised by my agent. It’s to keep the Bo-Ho crowd happy, really. My readership tend to come from the student fraternity or they’re educated female readers, so this venue offers something for both. Mike says the educated ladies like the fact I have looks and brains.”

It sounded a little conceited to me, but I guess this was a business, and Brandon was the product. “You do have a certain look,” I said, not wanting to massage his ego too much. The idea of tonight’s gig, with my boyfriend as the star attraction – my
writer boyfriend
who had an agent – it all sounded so cool and glamorous, but if I was going to remain there, it would have to be after a tough discussion with him. On top of that I’d have to phone into Purdy’s and pull a sickie. At least it was only a Tuesday. They would hardly be snowed under at the diner tonight.

“You have a certain look, too Ashley. Though my favourite version is when you’re naked.”

That caught me off guard. My stomach did a little flip, and a felt a sudden little twinge of need for him. If I was going to speak with him at all needed to speak to him soon.

“Brandon. We need to talk…”

“Sure. In my room. Let me show you, this pub is so very old, it’s really cool.”

He took my hand and led me up a rickety staircase. When we reached the second floor he took out a key and pushed into a beige and red room with a big dark wooden four poster bed in the middle of it. Straight away I could see where this was going, but I wasn’t intending to play. Not straight away. But that bed did look amazing and I had never done it with a beautiful man on a four poster bed before. Jeez, Brandon really knew how to mess with my head and he wasn’t even trying.

He closed the door and leaned against it. “What do you think?”

“It’s like you said, very cool.”

“How does my muse feel about… amusing me?”

I kept my serious vibe on my face, but already I was feeling like I could run up and kiss his face off.

“Brandon. This is difficult for me… we need to talk.”

“Then talk, baby.”

Baby.
That sounded good. I was melting, but I had to be strong. I forced the words to my lips before I could back out.

“You paid my tuition fees, Brandon. That was cool and amazing. But you shouldn’t have done it. It was my debt and my responsibility.”

Brandon laughed with big eyes and shrugged. “Honey, I wanted to help you.” He moved towards me and took my hand. Oh no.

“I wanted you to be free of worry, and I wanted you to stay at university.”

“But why Brandon?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Maybe, a little. But I’m worried its changed things between us.”

“Changed things? We haven’t been together long enough to know what change would feel like. But I like the way it’s going don’t you? We are a hot couple, wouldn’t you say?”

Now he was close by and playing with my hair. His hands felt good in my hair.

“Brandon… I want things to stay good between us, really good. So I’ve been thinking, we need to come to an arrangement. I want us to agree that I am going to pay you off over a set period. Maybe nine months, like with the college. What do you think?”

Brandon shook his head. “What?! No way, Ashley! You’re not paying me back. Not in cash anyways.”

His last comment was a joke. At least I hoped it was.

“Brandon. I
need
to do pay you back. I’ve always been independent. I’ve always paid my way, it’s just one of my things…”

“But that’s over now baby. We’re together. Why would you want to struggle alone when you can be free to do what you want with me?”

That didn’t sound much like independence right there. It sounded a lot like control. No matter how awesomely good looking Brandon was, no matter what he was doing to my libido right there and then, I couldn’t ever surrender altogether. It just wasn’t me.

“No Brandon. That’s not going to work for me. Please, let’s make an agreement. Then we can move on and be together without that causing an issue for us.”

His face changed and I felt his embrace grow a little firmer and colder.

“
Causing an issue for us?
Ashley, did you come here to argue with me on a day I’ve got to do a reading? Is that what this is?”

“No, Brandon. I came here to fix things with you.”

“Fix things? That’s what I did for you, fix things! All you’ve got to do is say thank you and that’s it. We live happily ever after and have some great times together...”

“I like the sound of great times… but I need to pay my way.”

“Don’t do this! Don’t do this, Ashley.”

“Do what?”

“Spoil what we have. What I did for you was a gift for both of us, I admit it. I want to free you of your burdens so you can your time with me. I really don’t like the fact you’ve turned this into a point of argument, Ashley. It seems a little ungrateful to me, but I think I can forgive you for that…”

He put his hand into my hair again, but he was firm with me now. My heart began to thud faster.

“Ashley. Ashley. My naughty little girl. You came here to be naughty, and now I’m going to have to punish you…”

“Brandon. I didn’t mean to offend but we need to come to an arrangement…”

“No baby. Not now. But you were right about one thing, we do have to cum.”

He wrapped his big arms all the way round me and squeezed me tight. I pushed away from him, my hands against his chest, first of all I pushed hard and I felt his chest quake with laughter. He wasn’t taking me seriously. I pushed again, but now he was stroking my back and nuzzling my shoulder. I was resenting him like hell, the way he was manipulating me and dominating me, but his kiss felt good too. “Brandon!” I said, but not too loudly.

He squeezed my body, picked me up and threw me on the bed. I was flushed with desire, but I was angry as hell too and I scowled at him. He stood there with a big smile on his face, and started grabbing at me. Today I was in a checked skirt with a hemline that fell below the knee. I was almost regretting not wearing my jeans. I saw the glint in his eye.

“Brandon!” I warned him, wanting him all the same. He threw my skirt back and snatched at my panties. I tried to slap his hand away. His hands stayed. He slipped his fingers between my legs and pushed the material of my panties up in between my lips, and we both felt the give and the wetness reach his fingers. He slid his fingers into me and I couldn’t help but sigh.

“You’re mine, Ashley. And it isn’t because of any money. It’s because of this.”

I was outraged, and aroused all at once. But as angry as I had been, all of my emotions were flipping one way right now. I had reached a stressful high and I needed relief. A little voice inside was shouting at me in disgust as I stopped fighting Brandon. He tugged my panties away, and I watched the greed in his eyes as he pushed between by thighs. He hadn’t even kissed me yet. There had been no foreplay, yet I still needed him. He unzipped his jeans and seized me and pulled my body to the edge of the bed. He peeled my sex open with his fingers and forced his manhood against me, then pushed it inside. I growled in pain before I absorbed him, and then he was monstrous. He gripped me tight around my hips and pounded his body into me. I felt his need, his force, and I also felt something else. He groaned and pressed as deep as he could into my body and then he rocked backwards, then fell forwards onto me. It felt good and it felt bad. This time I didn’t cum. This time, I limply laid my hand on the back of his head. My whole life had changed in a week, and now I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t happy at all.

Cody knew about Brandon Lynes reading in Greenwich. In the English department, who didn’t? The English Professors were sops for literary celebrity - most of them had been chasing it unsuccessfully for all their lives, and then in Brandon Lynes they had a new shining star. They could at least bask in his reflected glory. But the underlying problem with Brandon Lynes was that his work sucked. It was vain, badly written, and some of his ideas had clearly been stolen from rock songs. You couldn’t call him a plagiarist, not really, but he was a kind of mimic – and a bad one. Now he knew about the Greenwich reading, and when he saw Ashley the next day he saw a girl with a lot on her mind. He asked her about her job. She looked shy and awkward and said she had thrown a sick day yesterday. He asked her about Brandon’s performance. She said she was there, but she couldn’t remember much of it.  Like he said, she looked like she had a lot on her mind. But the fact she had thrown a sickie at work and had been at the Greenwich reading told him one thing. She had slept with Brandon again. Even without imagining another man with her, to think the very words hurt him. Ashley was too lovely, too precious to waste on a pretentious oaf like Brandon Lynes. Cody selfishly hoped it would come to an end soon. Today was about Ashley. He had a surprise for her. At the vegetarian café in New Cross they sometimes did a lunch time reading – an open mic slot. For such a huge creative student community with no day job this place could get packed. He told Ashley he was going to do a reading. This was true.
But he didn’t tell her she was going to do one too.

The room was abuzz with the clatter and hiss of the coffee machine, the chatter and laughter of nervous performers, and the smell of coffee and grilled cheese on toast. It was a wonderful place. But Ashley was still looking down.

“What’s up Ash? I thought you loved going to readings,” he said.

She smirked. “It’s difficult, Cody. I really need to talk to Penny about this. You’re a guy, and talking to you about this puts you and me in an awkward position.”

“Then think of me as your honorary chick for the day. Just for the day, mind. Listen, you look like you need a confessional. No judgement, I promise. Speak,” he said.

Ashley sipped her coffee and the words poured. She didn’t need a second invitation. It was all waiting to come out like an Avalanche.

“It’s going so badly, Cody. I went there yesterday to confront Brandon. I mean, I like him, he really helped me in finding me the job, and he’s a good looking guy…” She stopped and looked at him.

“Honourary chick, remember,” he said It hurt to hear her words, but she needed his ear more than he needed to run away.

“I went there to tell him I wanted an arrangement to pay him back. I told him I needed my independence, but he just wouldn’t listen. Then he grabbed hold of me, and when he talks to me that way I just kind of melt. I wanted to be strong, but then my hormones kicked in and I kind of just gave him what he wanted,” said Ashley.

Cody was seething but he had to control it.

“Did he hurt you?” He asked, being careful with his words.

“He was rougher than usual. Less attentive. It sounds bad, Cody. Really bad…  I’m sorry I’m telling you all this, but apart from Penny I have no one I can talk to here and she’s so busy…”

“Ashley. It’s okay. Now spit it out, please,” he said, trying not so sound pushy.

“When we were
together
… he told me he owns me,” said Ashley

“
Together?
Wait. I’ve got it.
Together.
Was it sex talk? Heat of the moment crap?” He was keeping his emotions in check.

“Oh. I thought about that. I thought about that a lot last night. No, it wasn’t. I think he meant it.  In the evening during the reading I couldn’t bear myself, let alone him. I should never have slept with him again, Cody. I couldn’t watch him, I couldn’t listen to him. In the end I walked out and texted him that I felt ill. I went home ashamed of myself.”

There was a very small and selfish part starting in his mind, and there was a red rage in another quarter. He was ready to kill someone and yet, here he was about to do a reading. Timing, huh? This was insane.

It was his turn to read. The coffee shop girl gave him a nod and started speaking into the mic. “So, up next is a café favourite, the acclaimed Cody Barnes. Cody! It’s over to you.”

“Good luck,” said Ashley.

“I don’t need it,” he said with a wink. But now he was nervous because of what was going to happen next. He took the mic, and pulled his folded note from his pocket. He started reading as casually as he could. He knew if He started reading like it was professional writing, the meaning would never come through as strongly.

“Honesty. Brutal honesty. It is what she is. The honesty is in her eyes. It runs all the way through her like a stick of rock. Forceful, like a storm. Ready to be gentle, and ready to break and shield in equal measure. She is powerful. She is uncompromisingly unique…”

He read it and it sounded cheesy to his ears. It sounded like the worst purple prose he had ever written, and he was hesitant, feeling himself blushing. But an astonishing thing happened. When he looked up, people were still quiet and they were fixed watching him. He wondered what their faces meant, and then came the applause. This piece was so personal, so deeply true, that their applause resonated in his body. He looked over at Ashley and saw she was smiling. Cody wondered if she knew. But there was no time to ask because Ashley was up next.  In the first week’s classes she had read a poem by John Donne. She said during her school days it had inspired her to want to write. In his other pocket he had a printout of that poem. It was a simple favourite, but the way she read it back in that seminar was so good, he wanted everyone to hear it.

“Ashley Pearson,” he said into the mic. “It’s your turn. Your name is on the list.”

She looked shocked and suddenly afraid.

“Cody! You’re a bad man! I haven’t got anything to read!” she said throwing her hands up.

“No I’m not and yes you do. It’s The Sun Rising by John Donne. And here it is.”

He unfolded the sheet. The café tables turned to look at her. Now she was on the spot. It was fight or flight time and his heart was thudding on her behalf. Gradually she stood up and swished the blonde hair out of her face. She walked up to the mic, and snatched it off him. He gave her the Donne poem.

“You
are
a bad man, Cody,” she said, with a smile on her face.

She put the mic to her face, and her breath sounded across the speakers.  He willed her on and waited. But when she started up that old poem on the joy of being in bed with a lover, about their bed being the centre of the universe, he was rapt. Her voice was soft and breathy. Her reading was even and slow. She made the poem come alive. He saw her look up out of the window as she read the last verse, and a shadow seemed to move across her eyes, but her voice stayed the same. The audience clapped but Ashley didn’t wait to receive it. She handed the microphone to the café woman, and quickly stepped away. She walked back to their table and snatched up her bag. She was going, and he didn’t understand why. They’d lapped it up. She’d been wonderful. He moved through the tables towards her. In her hurry he wanted her to know how good she was. He saw the uncertain look in her eyes, the stress and the pain. He wanted it all to go away. He couldn’t help himself - he hugged her, wrapping his arms all the way around her slender shoulders. For a moment he felt her resistance. She was limp. Then a fraction of a second later her arms curled around him and she laid her hands on his shoulder blades.

“Thank you, Cody.” His heart did a little dance. He looked up and saw what she had seen out of the window – the cause of the shadow across her face. Brandon Lynes was standing outside on the street, chewing the fat with two of his buddies. One of the buddies was pointing towards the vegetarian café. Cody was incensed.

“I’ve got to go,” said Ashley, and let go of him and walked towards the door. He looked around and didn’t know what to do, but he knew what he wanted to do. Screw it. He took a breath and strode straight towards the café door.

Ashley was already with him by then, in his orbit, and Brandon was talking to her. He looked so tall beside her, he looked like he was talking down to her. Cody kept on walking. Brandon Lynes looked up first and saw him, then Ashley and the buddies looked around too. Cody was no fighter. This was insane.

“You should leave her alone, Brandon,” he said.

“Mind your own business, ginger man,” Brandon replied.

“Back off and give her some space. You can’t bully someone like her!” As he was saying this, Cody thought
is this really Me?

Brandon’s eyes flared and he turned squarely like a bull to face him. “You’re going somewhere you don’t want to go, small fry.”

Ashley gave Cody a look. It had some kind of meaning, like her eyes were speaking to him, telling him to stop, but how could he stop? He knew she needed help. He felt the violence brewing in the air, the tension crackling around them. Others sensed it too. Students were stopping and lingering nearby.

Ashley sensed it. Because he wasn’t getting her message, she shook her head.

“Cody! This is none of your business. You need to leave now.”

“Ashley?” He said, dumbfounded. Her eyes were still speaking to him, but he couldn’t read them. They were speaking a different language to her hostile voice.

“Please, Cody. Back off,” said Ashley.

Cody heeded her voice, only because of her eyes. He swore, if it hadn’t been for those sad eyes he would have given up on her as one of those girls who messes with your head. But those eyes said something, and he needed to find out what.

Brandon Lynes moved up behind Ashley and wrapped his arms around her waist, claiming her as his own. Ashley didn’t fight him. Brandon’s goons laughed at Cody, but he didn’t care. He looked at those eyes a little longer and then walked away. He walked like a wounded animal back to the vegetarian café to collect his things. He picked up his bag and coat and waved goodbye to the café woman. Then he looked out of the window, feeling bitter and confused. He looked at the muscular arms around Ashley’s waist. Then he saw Ashley move her hands and throw Brandon’s big arms off her. She turned around, stepped back and started to lecture Brandon Lynes. After such a triumphant moment with Ashley’s reading, Cody felt as if he had slipped into defeat but she was still fighting Brandon. This was a good sign. But he still wondered if she was ever really going to be his. He felt he’d already lost.