Fighting Heart: Fighting Heart Erotic Bad Boy Romance Series Book 1 (7 page)

I could have showered at Brandon’s place, but even in triumph, basking in the glory of the senses and delights of being with my lion king the night before, I didn’t want to face Amanda and her chums. I woke early just after six. Very early on this Saturday morning. The whole flat was quiet. Brandon had tasted of spirits last night. His performance was, how could I say,
outstanding
and he was still fast asleep. I leaned over him and gave him a lingering kiss on the forehead before I left, and seeing his chest rise and fall it was hard to resist jumping back under the covers to wake him for another good time, but I resisted, wrote him a quick note saying how much I enjoyed the night and hoped there would be more. That nagging little voice inside my head just wouldn’t let up. I guessed it was just anxiety about work, but I wanted to get back to my flat and get some normality going to tune it out.

I was back at my flat-share in New Cross by seven fifteen, with a newspaper and a take-away cappuccino. The other girls were asleep, which was exactly what I had hoped for. I drank my coffee and showered, but the antsy feeling didn’t get cleaned away. Dry, finishing the dregs of my coffee, and already dressed for the day, I saw a crisp white envelope, freshly delivered, sitting on the battered old doormat. I saw the crest and stamp of Smiths College and my heart lurched then fell off a cliff. I wished I wasn’t such a fatalist but any news was bad news, I guessed. It was too early for anything else.

I picked up the letter and opened it before I could get too squeamish. I was scared, because now I knew the antsy feeling was justified. Somehow I had known things were going to get worse, and even the sweet aching left by last night’s tryst couldn’t make this go away.

When I opened it, I scanned the cream coloured paper so quickly that I didn’t truly read it. But I picked up two things. The Dean had become aware of my absence at classes since our meeting, and that as a matter of urgency, he now needed to collect the first payment
immediately
as there was concern I was no longer committed to the programme.
Concern?
The only person with concern was the Dean. Why? Because the man hated me for no good reason. Because he was against people who had no money. I screwed up my coffee cup and tossed it at the bin, growling and put the letter away into the front pocket of my college bag. Whatever the reason the Dean had for not liking me, he had now made my life at college an impossible task. Why did he hate me so much? I guessed I would never find out. But if it was in my power at all, I was going to pay that man all his money pronto, and stuff that cheque right where it got cashed the fastest. My college life was now hanging by a thread. And for all my gutsy commitment to the cause, I really didn’t have a clue what I was going to do about it.

He had settled at a desk with a pile of books on William Blake that he planned to scan when Ashley walked into the college library just after nine am. Even before she arrived, he wasn’t going to actually read the Blake books.  Instead he was going give in to an urge to write a story about a supremely headstrong, but very mixed up girl who was going to change the world. This girl didn’t know the power she had. She didn’t understand her potential or her impact. She was seismic. He couldn’t wait to start the piece, and already the Blake books were looking like a totally boring distraction from his new story. But when Ashley turned up, he knew he had been kidding himself all along. The real reason he came here this morning was in the hope that he bumped into her, his seismic girl – and here she was. He stood and beckoned her over. She made an attempt at a smile and was too polite to refuse coming over to see him.

“Look, I’m sorry about the other day, Cody. I’m just under a lot of pressure right now,” said Ashley.

“Don’t worry. I totally understand,” he replied.

He didn’t understand all of it, of course. Not right then, but he was soon going to. Cody looked at her beautiful soft face and soft pink lips but this morning her beauty was tarnished by stress and upset. She didn’t look herself and he winced to see her like this.

“Hey. Let me buy you a coffee,” he said.

Ashley hesitated. “I look tired, right?”

“You want the truth?”

She nodded slowly.

“You look like you slept the night on the roof of an Indian locomotive,” he said, aiming for humour.

Ashley smiled. “You have a way with words, Cody.”

“So they say. Come on, Ashley, you’re working too hard.”

“The trouble is Cody, I’ve got to work ten times as hard as everyone else just to stay afloat here.”

“Coffee and talking time. I’ve got the ears. You’ve got the words. Deal?” He said.

Ashley nodded. “Deal.”

They arrived in the vegetarian coffee shop near the campus and Cody ordered. Ashley looked ready to fall over unless she sat down soon. She was really struggling. After they sat down he let her drink a third of the cup before he started with his questions. He wanted to ask so many they were burning holes in his brain. He wanted to help her, to protect her and to get to know her as well as he knew anybody in life.  But he had to go easy or he would freak her out.

“Ashley, do you want to talk?”

She looked at him and then her eyes moved around the room. It was an anxious gesture.

“I don’t know if I can actually do that, Cody.”

“What, have coffee with me on Saturday morning? I knew I was annoying but, surely I’m not that bad!”

That brought a faint smile to Ashley’s face. “No, you’re not that bad, Cody. Did Penny tell you about my situation?”

“That you can’t pay your tuition fees and you have to jeopardise your studies by working every hour of the working day just to clear the debt?” He said.

“Ah-hah. That’s about the size of it. But I’ve always achieved what I set my heart on, Cody – but this – the more I think about the time I don’t have for study– the more I think about the situation with the fees, I just wonder if it’s even humanly possible,” said Ashley.

“Hey, Ash. Listen. I don’t know you that well. Hell, I don’t even know you beyond the fact you are clever, sassy and determined. I don’t know you beyond the fact you have just taken on the biggest challenge of anyone I have ever known, and are not even cowed by it. I know you’re not giving up. And beyond that, if you don’t mind me saying, as study buddies go, you are very easy on the eye. You can’t give up. ” He had to add that, just to see the effect. She just let out a timid smile.

“Thanks, Cody. I don’t deserve your encouragement, not after I was so ungrateful…”

“Come on Ashley. It’s okay.”

“Study buddies?” she said, repeating my words.

“Yeah. If you’re taking on mission impossible, you’ll need help from another special agent. Here I am, Special Agent Cody Barnes. Consider me to be your inside track, your revision tool, whatever. I can help you.”

“You would do that? On top of your own study? What’s in it for you?” she asked with wide eyes.

Ashley was suddenly a little guarded, which threw him off track.

“Just the milk of human kindness and the pleasure of your company,” he replied with a smile. Her eyes were hard for a second, and then her whole body language softened like she’d just relented to the decision to trust him.

“Study buddies. I think that could work. I mean…uh, thanks,” she said.

“No problem. But you need to be honest with me, Ash. If you let me in, I can help you.”

“I don’t need therapy, Cody. I just need a friend,” said Ashley.

Cody had to nod and accept that as her final say. He sipped his cappuccino and let the froth stay on his lips just to be the clown and make her smile. It work just for a second then she stood up and took a white envelope from her bag. It had the University stamp on it and it had already been ripped open.

“I just need to go and take care of something. I’ll be right back,” she said as she moved.

He was confused, but Ashley was so highly strung she was damned well going to do what she wanted anyway. He assumed she was taking the letter into the University building.

“But the college offices are closed! It’s Saturday,” he said with some confusion in his voice.

“Yeah. I know. I just need to read this properly. I’ll be back in a minute,” she said.

She made a fuss of getting past the table, clambering past the table leg, and the letter spilled from her hand. Envelope and letter parted, and the paper glided out and landed on the corner of the table just in front of him. The text was clear on the cream paper and the letter was very concise. It was signed by the Dean. He had no desire to invade Ashley’s privacy – well maybe just a
little
– but the whole letter was in his brain before she could swipe it back, looking at him with a hard and defensive look as she did so.

“Did you read that, Cody?”

“Ashley. I’m sorry. It landed it right in front of my face. I couldn’t help but read it.”

“That is my business, Cody.”

“Ashley?”

He could see the beginnings of tears glisten in her eyes. This college dream meant everything to her. And just like he asked of her, he knew almost the whole of her situation. The college had agreed terms for her to pay, and now they had changed those terms. Because of her lack of attendance in week two, and because of her lack of payment, the Dean had taken a view that Ashley was a bad risk. They wanted the first instalment up front with 7 days or they were going to shut down her place on the course.

“Ash?”

Ashley sat back down. The tears never came. It was like her inner resolve claimed them back before she could appear weak. Man, he liked this girl.

“What do you think, Cody?”

“What do I think? It’s mission impossible, Ashley. But I believe in you. I know you will find a way.”

“Brilliant. Fantastic. Great advice.
You know I will find a way
. I guess I had better go and find that way then, right?” she said.

“Ashley. I am not your enemy. I’m your friend.”

“Friend? You don’t even know me, Cody.”

“But I think I do, as crazy as that sounds.”

Ashley nodded. “Yeah, that sounds crazy, all right.”

“Ash,” she had riled him and he was biting. He didn’t want to, but how many times can a guy take a hit without getting upset? “You are one hundred per cent focused on the debt. I see that. And the college are being bastards, I see that too. But you need some help here with your academic course, because when you fix the finances just like I know you will, without my help you might not have a programme left to attend. If you don’t show up and act like an attentive and intelligent student, they are going to shut you down anyway.”

“Intelligent? I don’t need you to help me appear intelligent, Cody!”

“That’s not what I meant, Ashley. You are good enough, in fact you are better than good enough for this programme. But the tide is against you. I can help you make it to the shore.”

“Cody. Thank you for the coffee, but right now I need a little more than coffee and sympathy. I need a practical solution, and it looks like it’s all down to me. As you can see, the clock is ticking. So I’d better go and
find a way
, don’t you think?” said Ashley.

“Ashley. You need to study too. Remember that. When you want to do that, I’ll be there for you,” he said.

Ashley picked up her bag, her jacket and smoothed her hair around her gorgeous, serious face.

“I’ll remember.  But until then, Cody try taking a crash course in how not to patronise your friends. Thanks for the coffee.”

She walked out of the coffee shop and he felt conspicuously alone, like the date who had been left at the restaurant, yet when he looked around nobody was watching. But he was sure they had been listening. He threw his face into his hands and groaned quietly.  Maybe Ashley was right. He was beginning to think his overtures to her were amateur and clumsy. He was out of his depth and floundering in his mission to help her. But he had to take a lesson from the girl herself. She was tenacious, feisty, and was never going to give up. To get her to accept his help – to get her to fall for him – he needed to help with her whole situation, not just her study, but her finances and everything else too. He needed to be there for her in every way possible. And once they’d overcome all those huge obstacles, they were going to make such a fantastic double act. Whatever happened next, he just couldn’t screw it up anymore.

I got through the weekend okay after my second row with Cody. I spent a half hour reading up on William Blake, but really, who was I kidding? All I could think of was how I was about to lose my job when I needed it the most. Purdy and Reggie had been unfair to me, but so far life hadn’t exactly been a great example of fairness. These were the cards I had been dealt and there was no point moaning anymore.  Yet again I’d been too hard on Cody. The guy was cute, not my sort of cute, but he was funny and kind of charming. But he just kept getting too close to the pressure points in my life right now. I was beginning to think he liked me a little – in more than a study buddy kind of way. But then again why else would a boy be so willing to help me in all the ways he wanted to help me? If he was attracted to me it was kind of flattering. He wasn’t a weirdo, he wasn’t predatory, he was nice and he wanted to help. When I was calm again – when my life was all fixed up – I would be nice to him and thank him for that. But he had no chance of anything else with me. Brandon was one hundred per cent my main man, and in between fits of worry and angst, I still remembered the feeling of his skin on mine, the fullness of my body when he was within me, and the sweet release when we came together. Indulging in those memories became my only joy that weekend as I began to turn my job around. I worked hard, I was polite, and when the odd jerk-off tried to do one per cent more than simply eye me up in my waitress get up, I just gave him my killer sickly sweet smile. If the jerk in question looked closely enough, he would have seen the total contempt in my eyes. But thankfully they didn’t, and the tips kept flowing. By Sunday night, my weekend’s earnings were enough to make me think anything was achievable. Even mission impossible. I spoke to Brandon by phone and we reminisced about our night together and we were hastily planning another. But to enjoy our time even more, I needed to fix things with the Dean. Brandon told me not to worry about anything, that it would come good, but I’d heard that line already from Cody. I knew I was in charge of my own destiny and I had the responsibility to fix it. The Dean was being unreasonable, and I planned to tell him so. I intended to get my original deadline reinstated.

Tired as hell on Monday morning, having applied enough cosmetics to make a drag queen look stunning, I sauntered to college and arrived by eleven am. I got a coffee for Dutch courage – it was too early for the Union bar – and planned my best lines and appeals. If I had to, I decided I would even resort to flirting. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. 

My class was at one pm. I had time for my grand appeal to the Dean with time to spare to sort my head out and wipe my tears away before class if he said no. The moment had arrived. I tossed my coffee cup into the trash and knocked on Dean Jonathan’s door.

“Come in!” he called. My heart was thudding all over the place. It felt like Black Beauty was doing an Equestrian show over my lungs.  I walked in, and there was a moment of surprise on the handsome Dean’s face. His eyebrows flew up and he shuffled in his chair.

“Ashley Pearson! Good morning.”

“Good morning, Dean.” His light tone really surprised me. It was almost friendly, but I wasn’t going to mirror it back to him. The Dean was becoming my nemesis.

“I didn’t expect to see you today.”

“Really? After that letter I didn’t feel I had any choice but to come in.”

The man rubbed a hand across his forehead as if there was a fringe to brush out of the way. There wasn’t. He was acting self-conscious, and I was becoming confused.

“Ahhh. That letter. It
was
very formal, but you see, after your attendance reports came into my office…”

“Came into your office? Did they come so soon because you specifically requested them?”

The man’s face reddened. “I have a right to check on a student’s progress, do I not?”

“Especially if you have taken against a student for any particular reason.”

“Now, come on Ashley. That’s unfair and inappropriate. You were not in a position to pay your fees, we both knew that, only you didn’t want to see the light. I have a job to do, and some if it can be difficult.”

“Yeah. Difficult. Listen. I was wondering, do you ever make exceptions?” I tried to throw off the fug of my annoyance. I wanted to scratch his face to pieces, but instead I sat down opposite him, smiled and leaned forward. I made my voice a little softer too.

“Exceptions?”

“I mean, for someone facing my kind of challenges? Someone who is a bright and determined student, who could potentially be an example to other students who are currently struggling? Wouldn’t it make a great story for the college magazine?”

The Dean was about to speak, but he got caught up in something. I felt his awkwardness. He was beginning to notice me in a different way, and he didn’t want to. I was pleased to catch him off guard. He looked away from me, asserting control over himself. Maybe I imagined he liked me. A night with a guy like Brandon could give a girl a big head.

“Now, sometimes we have extended timeframes, Ashley. But your situation was far too difficult for that. You made it clear you had no means to pay whatsoever. You’d missed the student loan window. There was no bursary, as we discussed. Your best chance of completing the course was to withdraw and come back again next year.”

I let go of the flirtation technique and sat back in the chair.

“Dean, you keep saying ‘was.’ That’s past tense.”

The man nodded and smiled. “Yes, Ashley. Past tense. I think the letter I sent you must have given your situation some impetus, am I right?”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“Surely you do? This morning a payment was made to student services against your account, against your student identification number.”

“What?”

“Ashley, your student fees have been paid. In full.”

“Can you please say that again?”

“Your student fees have been paid. A sum of £9000 was paid. You have no more debt and no fees to pay until your next academic year. In short, Miss Pearson, you are a free woman. And my hearty recommendation to you is to go and concentrate on your studies and use all that stubborn determination to go and get yourself the best degree you possibly can.”

I was stunned.

“The payment. Who made the payment?”

The Dean screwed up his face. “You mean you don’t know?”

I shook my head. “I want to know.”

“Hang on a second.” The Dean picked up the phone on his desk and made a call.

“Hello. It’s Dean Mayhew here. You know that payment on Ashley Pearson’s account? Yes, the cash one. That’s it. Did the person paying leave a name? Right, so they signed the docket. Great. What does it say?”

The Dean blinked and his eyes widened. “Thanks Mary. That’ll do for now.”

“Who was it?”

“It was a gentleman. That’s all we know.”

“What about their name? They signed for the payment, I heard you ask that.”

“Yeah. They signed  
“A . Friend.”
  You’ve got an amazing friend there Ashley.”

“So it seems. Thanks Dean.”

I stood and walked out of his office without a farewell. Faces dropped into my mind. Cody. Brandon. Even Regan. Though as soon as Regan appeared, I wiped his face away. There was no way on planet Earth that Regan had paid his debt. Cody’s face and words came back to me. He reassured me everything would be okay, that I would be able to do this. Cody was getting some traction with his writing, and the teachers liked him. Maybe he had earned money from his writing than he was letting on. And I knew he liked me and he kept trying to help me. I felt a surge of relief and gratitude all in one. But as I thought about Cody’s meddling, and his motivation for doing so, a new fire welled up within me. I had to thank him, but more than that, I had to challenge him. He needed to back off right now.

I found Cody exactly where I expected, sitting with his head in a book back at the college library. Through my rage tinted glasses, I saw he was writing in a notebook. It didn’t look like college work, but right then, it didn’t matter what Cody was doing. I was mad as hell. Couldn’t the guy take a hint?

“You said it would turn out all right, didn’t you Cody?”

Cody looked up from his notebook and smiled. Then he must have seen my face, because his dropped like a stone.

“Maybe you just need to wait a while longer. Things will turn out okay, they will.”

“No, I don’t need to wait any longer. First off, I’d better get the thank you out of the way. So thanks.”

“Excuse me? Are we still on Planet Earth or have I woken up in Dimension X?”

“Did you want me to say it with flowers, maybe, or a box of chocolates? Or maybe you had something else in mind?”

I was standing at Cody’s side. There were plenty of other students around, and now they were beginning to look over at us. I didn’t give a solitary damn.

“Ashley.” Cody put his book down. “I don’t want you to thank me for a thing. Not ever if it comes out like this. Why are you always so angry with me?”

“So you don’t want me to thank you for paying off my tuition fees? Is that it?”

Cody’s face flickered and he shook his head. “Someone paid you tuition fees? Who?”

“You.”

Cody laughed. “Nooooo way! I didn’t do that! Wow, I would have loved to have done that, Ashley, of course I would, but hey, three thousand is a lot of money.”

My mind was spinning. Quietly now I said “It wasn’t three. It was the whole nine Gs.”

“Nine thousand! The fees for the whole year! That’s astounding. Ashley, you should be overjoyed. Not angry. And, Ashley, it definitely WAS NOT me. Now, does that make you any happier? Jeez.”

I looked at Cody hard. He was upset, his face earnest. I hoped my look softened towards him. He was being honest, it really wasn’t him.

“So… have you guessed who it is yet – your mysterious benefactor?”

“I think so.”

“Then you best go and give them the thanks they deserve. Every scintilla of the joyful thanks you had reserved for me.”

“Yeah… right. Cody?”

His face was pointing down towards his journal.

“Yes?” He didn’t look up.

“Sorry.”

“Yes,” was all he said. He deserved peace from me, so I turned heel and walked away. Before I was out in the precinct, I was texting Brandon. “Hey B. Where are you?”

A half minute later came the reply. “Lunchtime drinks in the Union bar. Coming along Gorgeous?”

Brandon managed to do something to my body even by text. I was still angry, though perhaps I’d let off some steam on Cody, so maybe not as angry as I had been to start with. And reading his text I could hear his voice and felt his touch and his breath on my face. But what Brandon had done was beyond helping. It was too much and I needed to tell him so. I had to keep my resolve. I needed to get my act together first. I texted him back. “Union bar, after class. See you then x.” Going to class would buy me to time to prepare myself.

I saw Brandon in class and we waved at each other. Cody saw our little wave, and wore a serious face. I gave Cody a smile too, and he gave a weak half nod in return. Poor guy, I’d bitten his head off so many times, I guessed I owed him a beer or ten. Throughout the lecture I felt shock, and a new sense of freedom. The idea that I didn’t have to work anymore suddenly dawned on me. How good it would be to politely tell Purdy where to shove her job and her outdated expectations. But I knew I still needed my independence and freedom. I couldn’t become totally free of my obligations like this. Was any of this right? I left the lecture two minutes early because I wanted to walk to the Union bar alone. When Brandon came walking in soon after, talking to a couple of his literati guys, I was standing at the edge of the bar area. I had bought my own drink. When he saw me, the jokey humour and the laughter fell away, his eyes got big and earnest and he headed my way.  He walked up to me and tried to enfold me in his strong arms. I let him a little, because I wanted those arms around me, but I didn’t want them either. Why was I being such a bitch? My new man was a hero, he had paid off a debt that was hanging around my neck, but here I was unhappy and ready to tell him so.

“Sweetheart, look at you. I missed you.”

The anger was ready but his amazing looks took the wind out of my sails. He reached out and touched my hair, and I softened a little more. My voice came out funny.

“Brandon, I wanted to say thank you… and that we need to talk.”

He let out a huge beaming smile which knocked me for six. He was stunning.

“You found out already! Fantastic! What do you think about that?”

“I think… I think it’s great…but…” He pulled me into his arms and gave me a soft kiss on the lips. It felt good, but on the inside I was getting in knots.

“You are free, Ashley. You can get on and study, you can spend time with me, and you don’t have to be stressed anymore. All that worry filling your head, it can go as of now.”

“Yeah. It’s good to have the pressure lifted…”

I hesitated. He was waiting for me to say something else, but whatever I said next was going to change things, and I wasn’t sure I wanted that. Not yet.  But I had to speak. Just when I was going to launch into my half-arsed, weak-willed explanation of just why I was being so ungrateful, two of his friends turned up at his side, one with a pool cue in his hand, the other with a spare pint of beer for his friend. Brandon took the drink.