Final Surrender (5 page)

She reached up and grabbed the door handle when he said, “Please, Angie, I need you to look at me.”

God, she had loved him for so long. His gentle plea broke something in her fragile resolve.

She whipped around to face him, unleashing years of pent-up, unrequited affection.

“Why, so you can walk away from me tonight and never look back? Or so you can pat me on the head and tell me I’m too young to know what I feel and tell me to find someone
my own age
? Well,
fuck you
if that’s all you have to say to me!”

Angela never cursed but she couldn’t hold back the hurt and fear raging inside her. She didn’t want him leaving and she didn’t want him to treat her like a child with a crush. What lived inside her was more than that for him and he knew it.

She opened her mouth to tell him exactly what she thought of him, but she forgot what she wanted to say when he reached up and put his hands on either side of her face and brought it, roughly, within inches of his.

Angela could feel his breath on her lips as he confessed, “I’m not going to tell you any of that tonight.”

He pulled her the last few inches up to his face and hungrily invaded her mouth. A sigh escaped her as he nudged her lips open and showed her what a real kiss was like.

She had kissed a couple other guys, but those had been nothing like this. They had been sweet and clumsy and awkward.

This one was wet, passionate, and warm against the cold from her ice cream.

Clay knew what he was doing and groaned as she angled her head to get closer to his tongue. She licked against his tongue, memorizing the taste of him. Wondering how she would survive without this when he left.

Angela half leaned forward on the middle console, reaching for his arm to steady herself, but Clay tried moving it out of range.

She opened her eyes a bit startled and stared into his tortured face. Angela tightened her hold on his arm and whispered, “Don’t stop, Clay. Don’t pull away from me. Not tonight. I’ll do anything you want me to, just don’t leave yet.”

Clay dropped his forehead, placing it against hers, letting out a deep breath with his eyes closed.

“Why can’t I get you out of my head, Angela?” he barely whispered, more to himself than to her.

Angela reached up to touch his face. She wanted to smooth away the worry that was apparent there, but Clay caught her hand before it reached its destination.

He held it tightly as she said, “I want to touch you. I want to feel all of you. I don’t want you to leave tomorrow before I even get a taste of what could be between us.”

One of Angela’s biggest fears was that something would happen to him in the military. He could get hurt or worse, she could lose him forever.

“You know me better than anyone and that’s why I’ve fought this for so long. Plus…you’re my best friend’s baby sister.”

Angela tried to pull her hand away as she turned her head to the side. She wasn’t going just to sit by and hear all of his excuses again. She had them memorized by now and they were ridiculous.

Clay let go of her hand to pull her face back around, forcing her to hear him out.

“There are a lot of things that you haven’t done yet that I have no right to be a part of.”

She opened her mouth to speak, to protest the fact that he was the only one that she wanted to share herself with, but Clay laid his fingers across her mouth.

He took a deep breath. “I’m leaving tomorrow for I don’t know how long and I don’t know if I’m coming back.”

Angela’s eyes finally welled over, as they had been threatening since she got in the car.

She reached up, holding his hands to her cheeks and leaned to one side to cherish the contact she knew was about to be stripped away.

“Please come back for me. I’ll be all grown up, then we can leave together and no one has to know where we’ve gone or anything.”

Clay shook his head and tugged his hands free from hers.

She let him because she knew he wouldn’t listen to her anyway.

He started the car, switched the lights on, pulling back onto the road.

Angela’s heart ached as he stopped the vehicle next door to her house. Neither one of them wanted her parents to find her with him. That would lead to too many questions that neither of them had answers to.

She wiped the tears away quickly from her cheeks and reached up to grab the door handle. As she opened the door and put one foot outside, she hesitated and turned back, “Why wouldn’t you take me someplace tonight? Some place private, so I could show you how much I want you to come back for me?”

She knew he could see the hurt in her eyes, and would have given anything to control her emotions so he wouldn’t see her as just some girl with a crush. What he said next thrilled and terrified her.

“If I had you tonight, I wouldn’t have been able to leave. Protecting you would consume me. You’d be mine and I’d never let you go. You aren’t mine to have, Angela, but wanting you will give me something to fight for.”

Before he could stop her, Angela leaned over to where he stared at her and took his mouth with hers. She grabbed a handful of his shirt to hold his mouth to hers and got lost in her love for him almost immediately.

She pulled her mouth from his to take a breath as he grabbed a handful of her hair and exposed her neck to his mouth. Her pulse raced under her skin where he touched her. She loved the way he made her feel and his smell intoxicated her senses.

Her breathing was rushed and shallow as she demanded, “Come back for me, Clay, I’ll wait forever if I have to.”

She captured his mouth again and he groaned. Her tongue lingered next to his for the briefest of seconds before she pulled away and exited through her open door.

He watched her shut the door, straightening her hair as she walked in front of his car, illuminated by the headlights.

Tears slid down her cheeks, onto her lips, swollen from his assault. They still tingled from his mouth and teeth and her entire body flushed with heat.

She never turned to look at him and he didn’t pull away from the curb until she’d shut the door to her house behind her.

Thankfully her parents were asleep, so she quietly took a shower, got ready for bed and climbed under the covers with a heavy heart and gritty eyes. Tears threatened to spill over though they should have dried up. She fell asleep thinking of the boy across town that she couldn’t have, and had just realized she couldn’t live without.

Chapter Five

After tossing and turning for hours, she finally gave up and sat in her chaise looking out the New York City skyline. The sight usually calmed her, but tonight, nothing seemed to help lull her back to sleep. There were too many unanswered questions playing in her mind. She stared off into the night sky, imagining a sparse apartment with the man she loved standing there, throwing her away.

Wouldn’t he get a laugh at her expense? she wondered. He was the only man she had ever loved and the only man she had ever slept with. Sex was synonymous with love in her book. She wouldn’t toss that away, knowing what it had gotten her last time. Two years after he kissed her. Two years of wanting him. Loving him.

Regret, what an awful thing to lug around. Angela wondered if she would ever get over it. She wished she could be like Clay and be fine with how things ended. It was one night. Why couldn’t that have been enough?

When the sun peeked over the horizon a wave of nausea swamped her.

“D-day,” she whispered. She stood and stretched, sucking in a deep breath.

Hiding in her bedroom wasn’t going to get her anywhere. Instead, Angela decided she wouldn’t let this man ruin her life or make her feel bad about herself. She vowed to show him exactly what she was made of, throwing open her bedroom door, heading to the kitchen to fix Mark and herself a lovely breakfast on a beautiful, sunny Friday morning in her favorite city.

Time sped by, and soon, noon was fast approaching. Angela was pretty sure her insides were made of warm Jell-O and the squishy part of a jellyfish, so she decided to dress for the occasion. A little ANG courage and Manolo Blahnik wisdom couldn’t be bad.

The knee-length warm chocolate-brown pencil skirt with silver pinstripes set off her tan and hugged her just right, as did the simple white blouse. Her shoes were heaven in a size seven. High shapely heels with thin straps in shades of brown and red that made her think of desire the moment she saw them.

After feeding Mark and getting ready way too early, she’d decided to immerse herself in work. Focusing all that nervous energy somewhere productive, she decided, was just what the doctor ordered.

Everyone else, including the workaholic Maddy, had been given the day off so she could be alone until the showdown.

She turned on a CD, sat down to work, trying to shake off the fear gripping her every thought.

Sitting in her high-backed office chair, seemingly pondering sketches, was how he first saw her.

Leaning back in complete concentration, her legs crossed with authority, her shapely arms holding up different things to see how the light played off the surfaces of each.

Mark had said that when she concentrated a bomb could go off and she wouldn’t hear it. Clay finally knew what he meant.

He hadn’t been quiet by any means with his luggage, but he was certain she had no idea he stood behind her, only a few short feet away. If the problems were as bad as Mark alluded to, then he had his work cut out for him.

She set her things down on her desk and stood, running a hand up her neck to work out the kinks. She stretched her shoulders, turning to grab something on the other table. He knew the moment she saw him.

“I could help you work those tight muscles out, if you like,” he smoothly offered, leaning against the doorframe of her office.

He was still half in shadows with his arms crossed in front of his chest as she stood to her full height with heels.

Damn, Angie’s all grown up.
He couldn’t help but give her a once over to see how she’d changed. She was a goddess. Slim, with fleshy angles just where he liked them. She’d been a knockout when she was younger, but now? She was nothing short of perfection.

The tight skirt cupped her ass like a lover, making his cock stand at attention, ready for the job.

Her hair, all wound up in some complicated girly device made him clench his fists so he didn’t stride over and rip it out. He wanted to see her soft and rumpled from sleep after a night of fucking that could win an Olympic gold.

If he thought the hard-on he used to have for her so long ago was bad, it was nothing compared to the desire surging through his bloodstream as he stood in front of her now.

Her mouth opened to tell him something, probably where he could shove his help if the pinched look on her face was any indication, but Mark came around the corner, nudging Clay fully into the room.

“Angela, you remember Clay, don’t you? Clay. Angela.”

A mere foot in front of him stood the woman he had thrown away so long ago. The same one he still craved and lusted after with every breath he took.

He was screwed.

“Angela,” Clay said while he extended his hand toward her.

She was different. Harder, he thought.

A huge scar snaked its way down his cheek and disappeared behind the collar of his light blue polo shirt. Her eyes lingered for a moment there as he stiffened at her examination. He didn’t like his scars and sure as hell didn’t want her pity. He ground his teeth together to keep from saying something mean.

She clasped her hands tightly in front of her, but he kept his hand extended toward her. If he knew her at all, social graces would dictate she at least withstand a handshake. He arched an eyebrow, tilting his head the slightest bit.

It only took one shaky breath and a small step forward before she placed her hand in his.

“Mr. Waters, how…nice of you to come.” Her voice was hollow and impersonal, but it was her eyes that changed. They had started an intoxicating blue, like an electric current flowed behind them when she first turned around.

“My pleasure,” he replied, noting her eyes were now like ice. The blue of a frozen ocean devoid of life stared back at him. Her hand shook though, just the slightest bit as he slowly worked it up and down. Her hands were chilled, but he could see the faintest rosy color fill her cheeks as he tightened his grasp on her hand ever so slightly.

Her plastic smile faltered as she tugged her fingers free a little too quickly.
Interesting
. So maybe she was just as affected by their meeting as he was. Only time would tell what had changed with her since he last saw her walking out of his apartment.

Clay wondered if Mark could feel the tension in the room as the silence stretched on. Evidently he could, as he cleared his throat.

“Angela, why don’t we get some coffee and we can all go upstairs and talk?” Mark asked, holding an arm out for her to lead the way.

“Coffee sounds great, but let’s talk in the conference room. I’ve got a lot of questions and the sooner we get started…” she hesitated for just a moment until she looked Clay square in the face, “…we can get the interview over with.”

She was already getting ready to put him out on his ass.

He probably deserved it, too.

She moved past him, making sure to avoid all contact. The air moved and he could smell her. Intoxicating as ever, he thought as he turned to watch her go.

Mark shrugged at him, following her down the hall.

Clay stood there, running a hand through his hair, down to the back of his neck. She was hotter than he ever imagined and colder than he expected. Surely she couldn’t hold what happened when they were younger against him.
Could she?

They were just kids.
Did she really still hold a grudge for what he said? What else could he have done? What could he have offered her then? What could he offer her now, for that matter?

But he remembered. He remembered every moment of their one night together. Watching her walk away, it all came flooding back. He closed his eyes and could feel her come apart in his arms.