Finally Satisfied (2 page)

Angel shook her head, silent tears streaking
down her cheeks. "I can't," she whispered. "I can't imagine telling
someone else what I did."

"Oh. My. God. You act like you're the only
woman who ever had to give a child up for adoption. Angel, I love
you dearly, but you seriously need to get a life and get over it
already. Your son is out there somewhere, with parents who love
him, who take him to school and soccer practice, who watch all his
games, who are putting money away for his college. He wasn't
dropped into a deep black hole like you've relegated yourself to.
If he even knows he's adopted, he's probably not letting it destroy
his life. So why should you let it destroy yours?"

Cara took a breath, started to say something
else, then sighed. "I'm sorry. Maybe this isn't such a good idea.
If you decide you want to join Reggie and me tomorrow, we're
meeting at Giselle's at ten. You can show up, or you can hide out
here where you're safe. I give up."

She stalked away, slamming the kitchen door
behind her. Angel could hear the murmur of voices, then she heard
the back door slam. She looked back out the window in time to see
Gray and Cara stop in the front yard, where Gray pulled Cara into
his arms so she could cry on his shoulder.

What the hell did Cara have to cry about?
She'd somehow managed to break the cycle of teenaged pregnancy that
had plagued the family for three generations. She had no idea what
it was like, not knowing if the child you'd carried was alive or
dead, loved or abused, healthy or sick. To hear your child crying
for weeks, months, even years after they'd ripped him from your
arms because you wouldn't let go. To look at every teenage boy you
passed on the street and wonder if one of them was yours.

So maybe she did have PTSD. What the hell was
she supposed to do about it?

***

"I swear there's something wrong with that
woman, Mitch. Why do you want anything to do with her?" Gray slid
one arm, then the other into the tuxedo sleeve while Mitch held the
jacket for him. "I think you need to forget about her and find a
nice, normal woman."

Mitch ignored Gray's criticism of Angel. He
didn't know everything that had happened to her like Mitch did. He
settled the jacket on Gray's shoulders then stepped back to see how
it looked. "I like the other one better. The tails seem like a bit
much for what y'all have planned."

Gray looked in the full length mirror,
turning sideways to check out the tails. "Hmm. You may be
right."

"Here, try this one." Mitch handed him a
conservatively-cut black tuxedo. "It's a little more
dignified."

"Hey, I can do dignified." Gray tried the
jacket on. "Feels pretty good."

"Looks good too. Now, are you going with a
vest or a cummerbund?"

"I have no idea. Which one is better?" After
trying the tuxedo both ways, Gray said, "The cumberbund, I
think."

"It's actually cummerbund, not cumberbund,
but either way, I agree."

"Cummerbund, cumberbund. Whatever. But how do
I know what color?"

"You want to match it to the bridesmaids
dresses, I think."

Gray turned and gave Mitch an appraising
look. "How do you know so much about this wedding stuff,
anyway?"

Mitch laughed. "Three sisters and a brother,
remember? I've been in every wedding. So, what color?"

"I have no idea." Gray looked at the wide
array of choices. "Guess I'd better see if I can find out."

Mitch waved the hovering salesman over.
"He'll take the jacket and pants. We'll worry about the cummerbund
later. And he needs shoes, a belt, bow tie, etc."

"Very good, sir."

"And I need the same thing, size 42 long for
the jacket, pants 34 x 36."

"Yes, sir."

"What about Sam?" Mitch looked around. "Where
did he go?"

Gray pointed toward the front doors. "Outside
to talk to Reggie. I swear, if those two aren't together, they're
on the phone talking to each other. Never seen anything like
it."

"Okay, wait here. I'll go get him."

Mitch pushed the doors open and waved to Sam.
"Your turn. And hey, while you have her on the phone, ask Reggie
what color the bridesmaids dresses are."

He went back inside, stopping to look at the
shoe choices. How many times had he done this? Three for his
sisters, once for his brother, now for Gray. Five times a
groomsman, but never a groom. Not good enough for the one woman he
couldn't get out of his head.

Gray wondered why he was so obsessed with
Angel, but Gray didn't know he and Angel had a history of sorts.
He'd felt responsible for her for years, had tried to help her in a
number of different ways. Hell, he'd even proposed to her when he
was eighteen. For all the wrong reasons, of course, but she'd
turned him down flat and returned every letter he'd written,
refused every check and gift he'd sent her, and turned the other
way if she saw him walking down the street.

He'd tried his best on the cruise, had even
thought he was getting somewhere until the last night when he'd
found her leaning against the railing, crying. He'd tried to
comfort her, but when he couldn't answer one very important
question, she'd nearly pushed him overboard in her hurry to get
away from him. How the hell was he supposed to know it was her
kid's birthday?

Fine. If she wanted to wallow in her guilt
and misery, that was her problem. But he was done with paying for a
sin that wasn't even his.

CHAPTER TWO

Angel showed up at Giselle's at fifteen after
ten. She hadn't planned to go at all, but she couldn't take her
mother's badgering another minute. Anyway, all she had to do was
get this part over with and she could avoid contact with Cara and
Reggie and the rest of the bunch until time for the wedding.
Between now and then she'd find some excuse for not showing up for
the wedding week activities and only arrive in time for the
rehearsal dinner and wedding.

Valentine's Day was a busy time for her
photography business, so it shouldn't be too hard to pretend to
have a shoot scheduled. She might even have to turn down a wedding
for that day. And Cara didn't have to know how hurt she was that
she hadn't been asked to photograph her wedding. It would have done
wonders for her bank account and her portfolio.

She pasted a smile on her face and stepped
inside the bridal shop. When she spotted Cara and Reggie in the
middle of the dozen or so rows of gowns, she made her way towards
them.

"Hey," Reggie said. "Look who's here. Good
thing you showed up. I think Cara was planning to put us in organza
as punishment if you'd missed this."

"That would have ensured I didn't show up for
the wedding," Angel snapped, annoyed at Reggie's tone. She hated to
be teased. God knows she'd gotten a belly full of it, no pun
intended, at sixteen.

Cara walked around from the other side of the
racks and gave Angel a hug. "Don't mind Reggie. She's not happy
with my choice of wedding colors. I'm glad you came."

"Why not? What did you choose? Pink?" Angel
blanched when Cara smiled. "I am
not
wearing pink."

"Not pink. But close. Maroon. I want a
Valentine's look, but I don't want a full-out red."

Angel shrugged. "That should be okay. Why
don't you like that, Reggie?"

Reggie looked embarrassed. "I was going to
use it for my wedding."

Cara's eyebrows went up. "Sam proposed and
you didn't tell me?"

"No, not yet. I think he's going to propose
in Paris at Christmas. And I know it doesn't matter. We can use the
same colors and no one will care. It's just that the one you picked
is exactly A & M's maroon, and it's what I'm planning to
use."

"Well, shoot. Okay, then let's start over. I
don't have to use that color. Angel, you have a good eye for stuff
like this. What color would you choose for a Valentine's
wedding?"

"Let's see what they have. I like the maroon
idea, but maybe something with a little more red or blue tones to
it." Angel glanced around the store and saw a collection of
shimmery dark reds toward the back. "Come on."

Cara and Reggie followed her and stood back
as she slid hangers across the rack. Then she started pulling
dresses out and hanging them face out on the rack. Once the dresses
were arranged to Angel's satisfaction, she stepped back. "Which of
these are the color you want for your wedding, Reggie?"

Reggie pointed to a deep maroon taffeta.

"Okay." Angel removed that one and set it
aside. "Cara, of the ones remaining, which is the closest to what
you want?"

"There are so many different shades. When you
put them together like this, it's easier to see the differences."
She walked back and forth, studying each dress. She stopped in
front of a crimson satin. "This one. It's perfect!"

Angel put the rest of the dresses back on the
rack except for the two Reggie and Cara had chosen. She hung those
side by side. "Now, see? These colors look nothing alike. The
crimson is going to work better than the darker maroon in outdoor
pictures, and it will be stunning against the snow. And you're
going to add white jackets to these, where Reggie probably won't.
No one will see any resemblance between the two weddings, believe
me."

Cara smiled at Angel. "When did you get so
smart? You're right. They aren't even close." She turned to Reggie.
"So, are we good?"

"Yeah. Sorry. I didn't mean to panic,
but…"

"No apology needed. We all have this ideal
wedding in our head and want everything to be perfect." Cara hung
the maroon dress back on the rack. "Now that we've settled on
color, let's look at styles. I want to go with ankle length,
something that will look stunning with a white fur jacket or stole.
Beyond that, I'll let you two choose. And while you're doing that,
I'm going to try on some wedding gowns."

Angel followed Reggie down the aisle, pulling
out different dresses and holding them in front of her to look in
the full length mirrors that lined the walls. What was she doing?
She had no business in a place like this. Cara was wrong when she
said they all had the perfect wedding in mind. Angel didn't. She'd
never allowed herself to think about marriage, or love, or
weddings. She'd given up that chance when she gave up her son.

***

Mitch stopped on the sidewalk in front of
Giselle's. What was he doing here? Gray had sent him to scout out
the bridesmaid dresses so they could match the color to the
cummerbunds, but he could have just as easily sent Sam. He sensed
Cara and Gray's matchmaking attempts at work, but this time it was
doomed to fail. Even if Angel had any interest in him--which she
didn’t--he was no longer interested in her. Or soon wouldn't be. He
was determined to shake off this obsession. It was time to move
on.

Then he saw her through the shop's front
window. She wore a crimson gown in shimmery satin with long white
gloves and a white fur. White fur earmuffs set off her long brown
hair. She looked like a combination of faerie and snow queen. She
seemed fascinated with her reflection in the mirror and a brilliant
smile lit her face.

He'd never seen her smile like that. He'd met
her during the worst time of her life, and though he was sure she
smiled when he wasn't around, like now, she'd never turned one his
way. It surprised him how much that hurt.

He had the information he needed, so there
was no reason to go inside. He didn't want to watch the smile fade
when she saw him, so he shoved his hands into his pockets and
returned to the tuxedo store. As he stepped inside, he vowed this
was the last time he'd wear a tuxedo for anyone's wedding but his
own.

***

"You both look absolutely amazing."

Angel swung away from the mirror, embarrassed
at being caught admiring the picture she made in crimson and white.
Then she caught sight of Cara. All she could say was, "Oh!"

The gown cascaded in lengthening tiers from a
shirred bodice, the bottom of the dress spreading out at her feet
and trailing behind into a short train. Thousands of seed pearls
and rhinestones sparkled as they caught the light. The veil reached
the hem of the dress and Angel could already see it, blowing behind
Cara on a breeze, as the photographer captured the moment. The
outside photos would be the most high-key work she'd ever done… And
then she remembered she wouldn't be the one to take them, and her
smile faded.

"You don't like it?" Cara bit her bottom lip
and ducked her chin.

"No. I love it!" Angel straightened the veil
when it threatened to tip to the side. "It's absolutely
beautiful."

"Then why the long face?"

Angel shook her head. "Nothing. Nostalgia
maybe. You remember when we were little and we used to play Wedding
Day? You were always the wedding planner and the bride, and I was
always the photographer. You made Gray play the groom, Sam was the
preacher and Reggie was your bridesmaid. Funny how so much of that
is coming true."

"Yeah. I think I knew even then that Gray was
the only one for me." She looked at Reggie. "And you were a
beautiful bridesmaid, even with your skinned knees and braces. Both
of you look beautiful." Cara blinked back tears. "I almost can't
believe this is really happening."

"Believe it," Angel said. "It's that happily
ever after you always held out for."

Cara snapped her fingers. "Oh, I almost
forgot to ask you. The lodge will have a photographer to photograph
the ceremony, but that's it. Would you be able to do the rest? I
know it's a lot to ask, with you being in the wedding and
everything, but I'd love for you to do our engagement pictures and
my bridal portrait. And then there's the group shots and at least
the highlights of the reception. I don't want you working the whole
time, but…"

Angel interrupted her by throwing her arms
around Cara's neck and hugging her tightly. "I thought you'd never
ask! Of course I will. I'll make sure they're the best work I've
ever done."