Finding Carrie (20 page)

Carrie walked in the huge school auditorium. She had her hand tucked in Isaac’s elbow. Her head was down, and she was smiling to herself. She enjoyed being on the arm of her husband. It gave her a sense of belonging and security. She also felt beautiful. Isaac had put the theatrical makeup on her this morning. She could feel the thickness on her face, but something about being on Isaac’s arm meant everything, every trouble that she had, seemed to disappear. She almost didn’t notice that Sierra had gone across the room, talking to a few friends. She was so caught up in the feeling of being with Isaac that she didn’t notice when a man walked up to them.

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Walsch.” The greeting startled her. She looked up to see an older man. He was dressed in a suit and tie. She looked to Isaac for reassurance. He extended his hand to the older man, and she figured he was safe so she widened her smile.

“Mr. Macs, how are you this morning?” Isaac asked the man while shaking his hand. Isaac leaned down and told Carrie who he was. “Mr. Macs is Sabrina’s teacher.” The man looked down at Carrie.

“Mrs. Walsch, Sabrina told me about your attack. I’m sorry to hear it. I know that Sabrina was worried you wouldn’t be here today,” he said, extending his hand to Carrie. She took it, and he brought it up to kiss the back of her hand. She smiled and nodded.

“Carrie still doesn’t remember anything, but her emotions are there.” Isaac explained as Carrie replaced her hand in Isaac’s elbow.

“I see,” Mr. Macs sighed. “Well, I’m glad you are here. It really means a lot to Sabrina.” He looked back to Isaac. “Is she here, by the way?” He asked, not seeing her around. Isaac nodded.

“Of course, she went to the classroom,” he said, leaning toward the man. “She’s really nervous; she has been practicing all morning, and she hasn’t slept well.”

“Well, if you will excuse me, I will go see if I can calm her nerves,” Mr. Macs said as he pushed past them.

Isaac led Carrie to the first row seats. They stopped in the center of the row. They stood and looked up at the stage. “Do we have a thing for the front row center?” she asked as she flipped her hair over her shoulder to study his face.

“Well, maybe a little. You own the seat at the theater for all my opening nights,” he said.

“Oh, that is why Amanda said I didn’t have to have a ticket.” She made it a statement, but he answered her.

“Yes, that would be the reason,” he said. Carrie took her hand from Isaac’s elbow and turned around in a circle to survey the room. She didn’t remember anyone in the room, but she knew deep down that she might know almost everyone’s name. Someone called her name, and she smiled and waved. As she looked around the room, her gaze settled on a figure in the far corner of the room. It was a man for all she could tell. The man saw her and stepped out of the shadows so she could see a disfigurement in the man’s face. It looked like a scar that ran from the top of one side of his face to the opposite cheek. He had long, black hair that was pulled back. It was oily. She suddenly became afraid. She started to tremble, and she turned around to run, but she ran right into Isaac. Isaac wrapped his arms around her as she hit him in the chest with her hands. “What’s wrong? What happened?” he asked, looking around.

“Um, um, there is a scary man in the corner up there. He frightens me,” she said, pointing up to the corner where the man stood, but when she looked up to the corner, there wasn’t anyone there.

“There is no one up there,” he said, suddenly afraid.

“Oh no, there was. He had long, black hair and a scar that ran from one side of his face to the other.” She ran her finger along her face to show him what she saw. He pressed his lips together and looked around, but he shook his head.

“I’m sorry, I don’t see anyone. Sit down.” He helped her to a seat and lifted her chin. She had tears in her eyes. “I’ll go out to the lobby to see if I can see anything.” He turned abruptly and ran up the aisle. Carrie shifted in her seat so she could watch him. She had her hand on her heart. She was so scared, but she didn’t have any reason why. She didn’t know much about herself, but what she did know was that she was never afraid of another person. She was never afraid of Isaac. She was never afraid of herself. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Sorry, Mom, I saw that you were upset. Are you okay?” Sierra asked as she sat down in the seat next to her mother.

“I don’t know. I saw a scary man,” she said, shifting to look at her daughter. “I mean, Isaac went to lobby to see if he could see anything; he will be right back,” she said, shaking her head. Sierra was quiet for a moment and shook her head.

“Mom, I didn’t see anything scary. Maybe you just thought you saw something,” Sierra said.

“No. No. I saw him. I did,” Carrie said. Isaac came back and sat next to her. He grabbed her hand.

“I didn’t see anyone with a scar on his face. Did you know him or remember him from somewhere?” he asked, holding her hand.

“No, I don’t know him. He just scared me,” she said. She settled back in the chair and took a deep breath. “When is Sabrina going to be on?” she asked, dropping the subject. Sierra handed Carrie a program. Carrie took it and opened it to a page where she saw Sabrina’s name. “Sabrina O’Dell?” she looked up to Isaac. She was confused. “I thought you adopted them?”

“I have, but it isn’t final yet, so her name is still O’Dell for now,” Isaac said.

“I can’t wait till I’m Sierra Renee Walsch. I think that is much better the Sierra Renee O’Dell,” Sierra said, scratching the side of her neck.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be O’Dell-Walsch? Don’t you want to have something of your father?” Isaac asked. He was leaning forward, looking at her. He wanted them to have the Walsch name, but he didn’t want them to give up anything of their dad.

“Sabrina and I don’t know our father. As far as I am concerned, you are my father, whether it is by blood or not. You are the only father I have ever known. You are my chi chi,” Sierra said. It brought tears to both Isaac’s and Carrie’s eyes.

“Well, I love you so much Sierra. You know that, and I’m very happy to call you ‘daughter.’” He blinked several times to hold the tears back. She didn’t have a chance to comment when Mr. Macs came on the stage. “Sabrina’s about to come on.” He squeezed Carrie’s hand and smiled. She smiled back, the smile that Isaac just loved.

Mr. Macs stepped up to the microphone. “Thank you all for coming today. I have a new, up-and-coming band that I am proud to introduce to you all today. These kids have been working day and night, as I am told by their parents. They eat and sleep the music that they are about to play today. I have one girl in particular who is sweating bullets waiting for her moment. I have to say that I haven’t seen anyone before with the kind of talent that she has. She is our lead guitarist.” Carrie looked at Isaac, and as if reading her mind, he nodded. “Her name is Sabrina O’Dell, and I am so amazed with her. It goes without saying that she comes from a very talented family. As you all know, her mother is the bestselling author C.A. Shay. And her father, I am told, is the ever so talented Isaac Walsch, who is appearing in the new Animal Show that started last night. Sabrina is a twin as well; her twin is Sierra O’Dell. I have had the great opportunity to work with her as well. In a few weeks, we are putting on a production, and it will be the most famous of Shakespeare’s plays, ‘Romeo and Juliet,’ in which Sierra O’Dell with play the role of Juliet. I am so happy that these girls have come to this school. I think I have babbled a little too much, so I am proud to introduce ‘The Kids of Rock’.” He stepped off the stage as the lights went dim, and Carrie looked at Isaac.

“Well, he sure has an opinion about us,” she observed.

“Well, we are the talk of the town,” he said, smiling, holding his hands up in a dramatic shrug.

She was still very uncomfortable sitting in the place where she saw the creature. That is exactly what it was to her, a creature. The thing gave her pause, and she didn’t want to see that thing again.

The curtains opened, and Sabrina just stood there. Every seat in the house was filled, and Sabrina froze. She looked down to see her mother sitting there. Sabrina wanted to cry; she was shaking. She couldn’t remember what she was doing, couldn’t remember the chords she was supposed to play. Her mother didn’t know who she was, but she was there, waiting for her to play. She looked at Isaac. He nodded his head, and Sabrina closed her eyes. Two weeks earlier, she was getting cold feet, and she went to talk to her mother. She remembered what her mother said to her when she told her she was scared. Her mother told her that every time she had to appear in public, she was scared too. Sabrina doubted it because her mother always appeared confident. She went on to say that she was very proud of her and told her to not worry what people thought about her. Go out and have fun with it. She told her to ‘rock it, girl.’ Her mom was right. She opened her eyes, smiled to her fellow band member, leaned on one hip, bent over, and played her chords. The first couple of measures were a solo but when the rest started to play the crowd cheered. Sabrina lifted her head and smiled. She relaxed and started to dance around the stage. She had fun with it, and she rocked it.

Watching the girl on stage dancing, a feeling came over Carrie. It was pride. That was her daughter. She put her hand over her heart and leaned forward in the chair. Tears were swimming in her eyes. She didn’t realize what she was doing, and she started to stand up. She couldn’t keep her eyes off her daughter. Her daughter was having the time of her life. A hand caught her attention. It was Isaac. “Sit down, sweetheart,” he said, smiling and laughing to himself. Carrie swung her head to look at him as she sat back down in her chair. Her mouth was wide open and tears were streaming down her face.

“That…that is my daughter,” she said. It was almost a whisper, but Isaac knew what was overwhelming her. He smiled and nodded his head. He had seen her like this many, many times when it came to something that her daughters were doing. Carrie turned to Sierra, who was watching her sister. She was singing and clapping her hands to the beat. Carrie swung her arm around her and kissed her on the cheek. “I love you,” she whispered in Sierra’s ear. Sierra turned her head to look at her mother, her eyes wide with excitement.

“Mom, do you remember?” Sierra asked, hoping that her mother was back.

“No,” Carrie said shaking her head. “I was just feeling that I love you. I don’t remember anything.” She turned just in time; the song had stopped. The crowd was cheering and clapping. Carrie stood up, clapping her hands. “That’s my daughter!” She enunciated every word slowly and loudly. Sabrina stepped forward and swung her guitar to her back and took a bow. Smiling at her mother, she was happy with her performance. She wanted to do more, but next time she promised herself not to worry and just have fun with it.

Chapter 18

C
arrie stood at the window in the bedroom, watching her daughters get in a taxi with her brother and sister-in-law. They had met up with them after the recital. They all went to dinner to celebrate Sabrina’s accomplishment. Still smiling, the girls looked up to see their mother in the window. Carrie waved down to them as they slipped in the back seat. “You look happy,” Isaac said as he wrapped his arm around her and waved down at the girls.

“You know, I think I am. Have I always been happy?” Carrie asked as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“For the most part, you have. Only when you can’t get your characters to work out right are you not happy,” Isaac said, resting his head on hers and watching the taxi drive away. Carrie suddenly lifted her head to look at him, forcing him to raise his head as well.

“Am I working on something now? Should I be writing?” she asked, suddenly worried. “I feel like I’m supposed to be doing something.”

“Well, to be honest, you were supposed to be going to an orphanage this week, but I told your agent that you couldn’t go and had him place a donation in your name.” Isaac pulled her close so he could feel her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face against his neck.

“An orphanage,” she said with a hint of sadness. “What do I do there?”

“You spend the day with the children. You read and play with them. We all go with you, and the girls have a blast with them,” he said. Carrie sighed and leaned back to look him in the eye.

“I think I must have a big heart. How many times do I do that?” she asked. She was feeling sorry for the kids. Part of her wanted to go, but she wouldn’t feel very comfortable.

“You go to the orphanage at least once a month. You do so much for these kids. Christmas, you have Santa come and give them gifts. Easter, you bring in the Easter Bunny. Summertime, you take them to the playground. In fact, you are having a playground built for them. Halloween, you buy them all costumes and take them trick-or-treating. I am so amazed at your generosity. It is one of the things that I fell in love with,” he explained. He saw tears swimming in her eyes. She stepped back and sat down on the bed. He went with her and put his arm around her shoulders. “What’s wrong?” She leaned into him and the tears flowed down her cheeks.

“I sound so—” she said, sobbing. “I don’t know—good?” She didn’t know what to say. Now, more than anything, she wanted to remember. She sounded like a great, caring person that everyone loved.

“No,” he said, giggling. “You’re not just a good person. You’re amazing, great, caring, and giving. There isn’t a good word that explains who you are. You do as much as you can for a lot of kids. You go to rallies to raise money for sick kids. You also go to the hospital to see the sick and burn victims.” He kissed her on the head. He breathed in the scent of her beautiful, shiny, brown hair. He loved her hair. He knew of her way before he ever met her. He had no clue that she even knew who he was. It was an amazing thing when he finally met her and she wanted to find him. He often thought about the way they met. He always thought it was funny because, when he unlocked the door that day, he saw her come out of the building from across the street. She ran down the street, away from the restaurant that he was in. He didn’t recognize her at first, but when he heard the door open and the slamming sound, he went out to see the sea of brown hair draped on the bar. He will never forget her face when she looked up at him, when he touched her hand. He knew exactly who she was when he saw her blue eyes, but she was so upset that he ached for her.