Finding Carrie (29 page)

The car parked, and Sam and his father got out. He remained in the car, looking at their faces. They were grief stricken. Sam came over to the window and tapped the glass. “Are you coming, Isaac? We have to get this done. We still have to go to the funeral home.” The funeral home, Isaac turned the words around in his head.

“Yes,” Isaac said as he opened the door and slipped out. “I don’t want to do this,” he announced, more to himself than to them. “I could have lost them both, you know.”

“Now, Isaac, don’t think that. You still have Carrie, and that is important. Your mother wouldn’t have wanted you to lose her, and you know that,” Jack, Isaac’s dad, said. Isaac started to sob, and his father pulled him into his arms. “Your mother wouldn’t want this either.”

“I know,” Isaac said into his father’s shoulder.

“Can we get this done so we can all go home?” Sam asked. Isaac straightened and wiped his face off with his shirt. All three of them walked into the hospital and headed for the elevator to go down to the morgue. When they got there, they stopped at the desk and Jack said something to the lady sitting there.

“My name is Jack Walsch; my sons and I are here to…” He trailed off for a moment, almost sobbing. “To identify my wife’s body,” he said, trembling. The lady grabbed a clipboard and looked up.

“What was your wife’s name?” she asked, looking at the three men.

“Her name is Hana Walsch,” he said with his chin up. He didn’t like that she said,
what was your wife’s name
. She deserved more respect than that. She found the name and waved them to follow her. She led them to a room that had coolers that held bodies lining one wall. She checked the clipboard again and reached for one of the coolers. She pulled the drawer open and lifted a sheet to expose her face. Sam and Isaac peered down and both had to step away. Jack stood there staring down at his wife’s face for a brief moment. He brushed her face with his hand. “
Aishite imasu
forever, my beloved Hana.” He nodded to the lady, and she covered her back up and pushed the drawer closed.

“Now, if you could just sign here; that says she is who she is. Take this to the undertaker. We will take care of the rest with him.” She took the clipboard back and led them to the elevator. “I wish you all well,” she said as the door closed.

They spent a good part of the afternoon at the funeral home before Isaac could return back to Carrie. She was sitting on the porch as the car pulled into the driveway. She stood up and walked toward the car. “Did everything go all right?” she asked as they got out of the car.

“Yes, I think so,” Sam told her. “The funeral will be in two days, but they are not going to bury her yet. The police want to keep her a little longer. There will be a private burial sometime next week.” Carrie nodded, and Isaac walked up to her. She put her arms around him just before she noticed the look on his face.

“It’s all right, Isaac,” she said with her face against his neck.

“It was horrible to see her like that,” he said, pushing her away so he could look at her. “She wasn’t bruised, though, like I thought. I’m not sure what happened. She wasn’t even raped.”

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” Carrie asked.

“Yes, but they found her in the mud in the park. She just died recently, so there can be an open casket. Nothing is making any sense,” Isaac said.

“No, its not. Come inside. Lee Lee and the girls are making dinner for everyone, and it smells good too,” she said, smiling at him as she led him in the house.

Chapter 25

T
he morning of the funeral came upon them fast. The last couple of days were spent in remembrance of the mother they lost. They laughed at the good memories and cried at the sad ones. Jack told stories of how they met, and the love was evident in his voice. Carrie was wishing she could remember something; she wanted to share something. It felt like it was on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t know what it was.

“Don’t put that eyeliner on me. Although it is lovely for you, I don’t think it will have the same effect on me,” Carrie said, putting her arms up to warn Lee Lee away. She was sitting in Lee Lee’s room. Lee Lee had given her a dress to wear for the funeral, and she was putting makeup on Carrie’s face.

“Just a little, I promise. You were okay with it the last time,” Lee Lee said.

“I don’t remember last time. Was I going to a funeral?” Carrie asked, turning her face away.

“Well, no, you weren’t. Come on, just a little?” Lee Lee pleaded.

“Okay,” Carrie said, turning her face back. There was a knock at the door, and Isaac stepped in.

“The limo’s here. Time to go. Lee Lee, what are you doing?” Isaac asked, walking over to where the two of them were.

“I’m just putting makeup on her,” she said, looking at her brother over her shoulder.

“She’s going to a funeral, not a rock show, Lee Lee. Come on,” Isaac said.

“What?” Carrie sat up to look into the mirror. Carrie was surprised at her face. Isaac had gotten the theatrical makeup for her, and Lee Lee did a good job covering her cuts, but the eyeliner was far thicker than it should be. “Lee Lee, you said you weren’t going to put it on that thick.” Lee Lee just shrugged.

“I’m not good at thin, I guess,” she said, putting the cap back on and putting the eyeliner down.

“It will have to do. I’ll just tell everyone you got carried away,” Isaac said, taking his wife’s hand. They went downstairs and outside to get into the car. For some reason, Carrie got it in her head that she should do something for her father-in-law, and the only thing she could think of was to tell Isaac that she wanted to pay for the funeral.

“Isaac, I want to pay for the funeral,” Carrie said. She stopped to wait to get in the car after the others, which included Isaac’s family, the twins, and all three of her bodyguards. Isaac opened his mouth to say something, but she put her hand up to stop him. “I mean it, Isaac. I want to pay for it. It feels like the right thing to do.”

“Well, you offered when she first had her stroke. We didn’t think that we were going to have a funeral, but yes, you are paying for it. I knew that it is what you would have wanted,” Isaac said. Carrie blew out her breath in relief.

“I want to,” she said as she got into the back of the limo.

The car pulled up to the front of the funeral home and stopped. The driver got out to open the door to let them out. Isaac got out first, and he reached back for Carrie’s hand. She took it and slid out. There were already people there. Some seemed to know her but didn’t approach her for anything. They walked in with her on Isaac’s arm. No matter what was going on, being close to Isaac felt like home for her. They walked into the room with the casket. The air in the room suddenly got thick, which made her want to get out of there. A part of her told her to stay, so she went with Isaac and his family to take their seat at the front of the row of chairs. She couldn’t see in to the casket from where she was sitting, but she couldn’t take her eyes off it. The funeral director stepped up to the podium.

“Now that the family is here, I will begin the proceedings,” he said as everyone got to their seats and the room fell silent. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Hana Leiko Takahashi Walsch.” The crowd laughed at the way he said her maiden name. “Sorry. I practiced, but I still didn’t get it right,” he said to the Walsch family. They just said it was okay, so he went on. “She was the type of woman who could light up the room with just a look. She was very proud of her family and was very happy that her son married his wife. There was never a time when I saw her that she didn’t mention her daughter-in-law or her step-granddaughters. It was only a week or so ago when I saw her last. She had to tell me that her daughter-in-law was about to have another book come out. She was very proud. I will now lend the podium to her husband, who wanted to say a few words for his wife. Jack Walsch?” Carrie looked up at Isaac who was smiling to himself. Carrie wondered just what her relationship was with his mother if she was that proud of her. She looked up to see Jack looking down at his wife with a tissue against his mouth. He looked close to tears but was trying his best not to let them out. He lowered he hand down and walked to the podium.

“I loved my wife. As you all know, I had a wonderful life with her.” It seemed like he was rambling, so he paused and cleared his throat. “She wouldn’t want us to stand here and cry for her. She would want you to laugh. Not at her, of course, but with her. It is a shame that she has been taken, but she would have said…” He trailed off, trying to suppress a sob. He took a deep breath. “She would say that this was what was in the cards for her.” He sobbed for a moment and straightened. “I wish it wasn’t this way, but it happened, and she would have been okay with that.” When he couldn’t go on, he walked back to his chair and the director walked back to the podium.

“Now, I turn the podium over to Hana’s oldest son, Isaac Walsch.” Isaac stepped up and looked down to his mother. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand before he walked over to the podium.

“My mother was a wonderful person. She loved all who came into her path. She was always proud of what I was doing, except when I got in trouble at school.” The crowd laughed. “I’m still sorry, Dad,” he said.

“Oh, you have been forgiven,” Jack said, and Isaac went on with his speech.

“I remember the day I wanted to ask my wife to marry me. It was a last-minute decision, but I called my mom and said, ‘Mom, I want to marry Carrie.’ She said, ‘Well, it’s about time; I love that girl. Just do it already.’ That was my mom. She knew things others didn’t, and I was so happy that she wanted me to marry Carrie. I found out later, at my wedding, that she was teaching my wife and my daughters her language. My mother was proud of us all. She especially loved my daughters. She was very protective of them. I will not remember my mother as she is today, but I will remember her laughter and her smile, her words of encouragement and her
don’t hold a grudge
attitude. I hope that someday she could look down at us and smile for the people that she had shaped into her family.” He left the podium and sat next to Carrie, putting his hand on her leg. She put her arm around him and kissed him on the cheek. The director came back to the podium.

“I now turn the podium to the other son, Samuel Walsch.” Sam got up and walked to the podium. He glanced at his mother but didn’t go close.

“I haven’t been a good son. I was the rebellious one. I was living in my older brother’s shadow. At school, I always heard, ‘Why can’t you be more like your brother, Isaac? Now there is a good boy.’ I even heard that from my father from time to time.” He paused and look toward his father, who just nodded once. “But my mother never made me feel like I was second place. She was always telling me that I was my own person and that I should do what it was that I want to do. I could always talk to my mother no matter what. I’m going to miss her. I always felt acceptance from her, and now I have lost my best friend. I will remember her and the way she would hold me and stroke my hair when I was having a bad day. I lost my mother, but she will always be with me. Thank you,” Sam said and took his seat. The director walked back to the podium.

“Now Hana’s daughter would like to say a few words, Leiko Walsch,” he said. She stood and flowed to the casket and peered down at her mother. She sighed and went the podium.

“My mother wasn’t like other mothers. She was cool, and she would teach us good habits, like not judging a person by how they look. She always told me that everyone has feelings and not to hurt anyone for any reason. She taught me how to be a woman, and she also said that I need to be nice to everyone. She was the one who held on to the leash of my flighty ways, and now there isn’t anyone to anchor me down. I bet she will still be there somewhere, holding on to my leash, making sure that I don’t float away.” She put her hand over her heart and bowed her head then raised it and looked at each face in her family. “Mother, I ask you to stay with us. Watch over Dad and make sure he’s well. Watch over Isaac and guide him in all that he does. Give him the courage to stand on stage and sing. Please be there for Sam. He was the closest to you. Please, please, hold on to my leash.” She looked at Carrie and then to the girls. “Mother, I also ask that you help Carrie regain her memory. We need her, as she is now the glue to our sanity. Well, I need her. She is the closest thing I have to a sister, and I need her. Please continue to protect Sabrina and Sierra. They need your encouragement. They need you to guide them down the path of life. Don’t leave us now, Mom, when we need you the most.” Lee Lee wiped her face and took her seat next to Carrie. Carrie leaned over and wrapped her arms around her.

“If I never remember anything of my past, I promise that I will hold your leash when she can’t,” Carrie whispered in her ear. Lee Lee smiled and kissed her on the cheek to thank her. Carrie resumed her position, leaning into Isaac when the director returned to the podium.

“Let’s pray.” He waited for a moment then began to pray. “Dear heavenly Father, we ask today that you guide Hana safely into your keepings. Help with her adjustment to her new life. God, I also ask that you watch over her family, as their need is great. Please send your love and warmth and give happiness back to this family in need. Watch over each one of them, as they are your children. Be with Jack to help him through this sorrowful time in life. Love them for who they are. In Jesus’s name, amen.” He gave a moment of silence then spoke again. “Now, as there will not be a burial today, I will ask that each one of you would come up to say your farewells, starting with the back and ending with the family. You may stay if you would like to give your regards to the family. There will be a wake after the funeral at the Sea Cave Inn from two to four, and you’re all invited to share with the family.”