Finding Eden (6 page)

“There you go,” Danny said as he went back to sulking. His life felt as if it were going more downhill than ever now that his friendship with Paul was strained by secrets. “A career ambition to be proud of.”

“You’ve been really moody lately.”

“I’ve just got a lot on my mind. I’m worried about Paul.” Danny turned back to give his attention to the game. “I’ll tell you what. They win and I’ll go to your party and hang out with your shallow, straight friends.”

“They’re fourteen down!” Melissa gasped. “There’s like—no way.”

Danny shrugged. “Then pray for a miracle. Do a rain dance or something.”

* * * * *

“You won! It’s a fucking miracle!”

“Barely.” In clean clothes, Paul was still sweaty as he wiped at his glistening forehead. He leaned into Danny, mumbling under his breath, “Fulton’s fucking killing me.”

“I cannot believe that useless bastard missed that pass,” Danny said, turning around when he heard a huff of indignation. He narrowed his eyes at the tall, fair-haired man behind him. “That’s right, Fulton, I’m talking about you. My mother could have caught that!”

“Suck me, Carlow.”

“You wish.” Danny turned and dismissed Fulton, hearing Paul do the shut-up cough. He looked back to Paul, who was deliberately standing against the wall, using Danny as a buffer against other well-wishers walking by. Paul was always uncomfortable in the aftermath of any victory where people tried to touch and praise him. Wanting to ease his discomfort, Danny decided to keep things light. “Denise and Mel did a rain dance for you. They chanted for Fulton to break something, but got you that last-minute touchdown instead.”

Paul laughed, looking past Danny to Melissa and Denise, who were standing behind him. “Thank you. We needed a win.”

“Are you coming to our party?” Denise asked, jumping forward because she was the bolder of the two. “You’ll be the hero of the hour.”

Paul winced. “Oh, I would—”

“You should come,” Danny said, grinning at Paul, still feeling lighthearted with the victory. “It’ll be cool. I’m sure their shallow friends blew someone for beer and—”

“Shut up!” Melissa said, hitting Danny’s arm. “There will be beer, though. Lots of it. Come, Paul. We’ll make it worth your while.”

“They’re gonna make out.” Danny raised his eyebrows at Paul, who knew Denise and Melissa were involved. “’Cause that’s a novelty.”

“It sounds like fun,” Paul said, wincing again. “But I gotta go back and take a shower.”

“You didn’t shower in the locker room?” Danny asked, pulling a face at him. “Gross.”

“It was too crowded. Easier to shower at the dorm,” Paul said, and then seemed to see that excuse as an out. “I
am
gross. I’m gonna go take a shower and study.”

“We could wait for you,” Melissa offered helpfully. “Danny’ll be disappointed if you don’t come, and you’ll have fun, I promise. There’ll be lots of girls who’d totally be your love slave after a game like that.”

“
Lots
,” Denise reiterated, both of them obviously trying to sway Paul into coming for Danny’s sake. “It’ll be crazy how many hot, willing girls you could have at this party.”

“Yeah.” Paul rubbed the back of his neck as he looked over at one of the doors to the north building. “I think I left something in the locker room.”

“I’ll walk you,” Danny said, turning around to the girls. “I’ll be back and then we’ll take off.”

Danny followed after Paul, who walked fast, as if desperate to get away from Denise and Melissa. For some reason Paul had never meshed well with them, or any of Danny’s female lovers. It wasn’t jealousy. It was more a personality conflict that told Danny he and Paul had vastly different tastes in women, with the exception of Eve. She was clearly one-of-a-kind because Paul hated all the other girls Danny found interesting. As soon as they left the fenced-off parking lot for the players’ buses and got into the building, Paul confirmed his suspicions.

He turned to Danny, sticking his finger down his throat in a juvenile show of disgust, making a production of gagging. “If you make me go to that party—”

“It’s not that bad,” Danny said, laughing at him. “Come on, it’ll be fun. You can have a few beers and unwind.”

“I do not unwind at those parties,” Paul said, his low voice about as close to whiny as it got. “I hate them, especially after a win. Everyone’s hanging all over me.”

“So find a chick and an empty room and unwind that way.”

“Denise and Melissa’s friends aren’t my type,” Paul said, pulling another face. “Not even close. I’m really not into sorority girls like them.”

“Their friends are everyone’s type,” Danny said, raising his eyebrows at Paul and speaking slowly to make his point. “Hot, available and accommodating.”

Paul huffed, rubbing a hand over his eyes in a way that told Danny he really didn’t want to go. “I have other plans.”

“Fine.” Danny shrugged, not too concerned with disappointing Denise and Melissa despite their rain dance for Paul’s win. He could make it up to them later. “So we’ll go with you. I got my own dates and everything. Where are we going?”

“Danny Boy.” Paul laughed, lifting his hand to stare at him incredulously. “I got
plans
.”

“Oh,” Danny said, pulling back in surprise because, as far as he knew, Paul hadn’t been seeing anyone since Eve. Without warning, the image of deep knife wounds carved into Paul’s biceps surged to the forefront of his mind. The fears of Paul hurting himself surfaced again, as did the accusations made by Tony. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Anyone I know?”

Paul shook his head, swallowing hard as he looked away. “No. She’s, um…not in school.”

Danny shrugged. “So what? Neither am I. Can I meet her?” He gestured to where they left Denise and Melissa waiting. “I always let you meet my girlfriends.”

“Uh,” Paul said, still appearing very uncomfortable. “It’s not like, a dating thing. It’s just—”

“Fucking?”

“Mmm.” Paul nodded, heaving a sigh of relief. “Pretty much.”

“Fine, whatever,” Danny said, unable to hide how rankled he was, concern for Paul making his entire body tense in defensiveness. “Have fun.”

Paul looked crestfallen. “You’re pissed.”

“You had plans, I get it,” Danny said, his voice edgy as he tried to ignore his inner warning bells. It wasn’t that Paul had private plans; Danny had plenty of those himself. It was the other things left unsaid. He let his gaze run over Paul, who was still sweaty from the game and grimy from not taking a shower in a public locker room. He wanted to needle him about his sudden shyness, but instead he shrugged, giving up on keeping Paul close for the evening. “Fuck off. Go get laid. Rock her world.”

Paul smiled, looking relieved. His face lit up in a way that almost made Danny feel good about encouraging the lie. “Thanks, Danny Boy. Call me tomorrow, okay? You can tell me what happened.”

“Nah, I don’t kiss and tell.”

“If you say so,” Paul said with a laugh. “I’m taking off. Tell Denise and Melissa I’m sorry. I hope you have an awesome time.”

“Sure.” Danny nodded, forcing a smile. “I always do.”

He stood there after Paul left, watching him walk down the hallway with a sinking feeling in his heart. Everything in Danny wanted to go after Paul and question him about this mysterious girl and, more so, about his strange behavior. Instead he walked outside to where he’d left Denise and Melissa. They were leaning against the fence talking, obviously enjoying being with each other and happy with life in general.

He studied them silently—the way blonde blended with dark as Melissa leaned her head against Denise’s, making it obvious they were much more than best friends. They were young. They partied and saw other people, but at the end of the day they loved each other and would most likely still love each other twenty years from now when they settled down and curbed their wild ways. There was probably a cosmic reason why Danny had been seeing these two for the better part of two years. They represented what he secretly longed for and watching what they had together was a miserable replacement for something that would never be his.

“Where’s Paul?” Melissa asked, pulling away from Denise when she noticed him standing there.

“He took off,” Danny said sullenly, unable to hide his disappointment. “That sucks.”

“Aww.” Melissa held out her arms, beckoning him. “Come here, baby.”

Danny went to her, suddenly not caring that it was a replacement for what he really craved. He pulled Melissa to him, leaning down to rest his chin on top of her head. He breathed in strawberry shampoo and tried to forget about the secrets welling up between him and Paul, without Danny realizing when it had happened or why.

He took the comfort, letting his unhappiness show because both girls were aware of his feelings for Paul. They knew Danny was bisexual. He had told them earlier on when he realized they didn’t just fool around for the novelty of it. Like him, they genuinely preferred both sexes, and he was of the opinion bisexuals should stick together. They were on the outskirts of both societies. Gays and lesbians often rejected bisexuals as easily as straights did. They weren’t really gay, and they weren’t really straight. The
pick a team and stick with it
mentality was more prevalent than people realized and though it didn’t bother Danny, he did feel the need to protect his own.

“You wanna just skip the party and go back to my place and fuck?” he asked, tilting his head on Melissa’s to look at Denise. “Party next time?”

“Sure.” Denise shook off the party as if she and Melissa hadn’t just spent two hours trying to talk him into it. More than lovers, they were his friends and they knew Danny was upset. She gave him a beaming, bleached and perfect smile. “Sounds like fun to me.”

* * * * *

Danny lay in bed staring at the ceiling, watching the shadows from the trees outside dancing in the rays of moonlight filtering in through his uncovered window. Finally giving up on sleep, he rolled over and grabbed his cigarettes next to the bed. He lit one and fell back against the pillow, blowing smoke up to play with the shadows.

“Are you okay?”

Danny looked to Melissa when she lifted her head from the soft spot between Denise’s breasts. Her long, blonde hair was mussed from sleep and fucking. She blinked tired, light eyes as she silently watched him smoke his cigarette.

“I’m fine,” he lied. “Go back to sleep.”

“You’re sad about Paul,” she said knowingly.

“Mmm,” he hummed, taking another puff off his cigarette. “Pretty much.”

“Why don’t you just tell him? Everyone knows you’re into guys but him.”

Danny snorted. “He’s homophobic, Mel. His father is the original old-school redneck. It wouldn’t go over well.”

“Oh.” She pouted, looking insulted. “Is that why he hates Denise and me?”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“He never goes to any of our parties.”

“He hates parties, not you.”

Danny reached over and stroked Melissa’s hair, pushing it back into place and then pressing her head back down to its resting place on Denise’s chest. Denise hummed in appreciation despite still being deeply asleep. Her hands ran up Melissa’s bare back, holding her closer, and Melissa responded with heavy eyes and a soft kiss to the side of Denise’s breast.

Danny smiled as he watched them. “You’re precious. No one could hate you.”

“Says you,” Melissa mumbled sleepily. “Lots of people hate us. Our parents bought our way into our sorority thinking it’d make us fit in, but it didn’t really fix anything and missing parties doesn’t help. We’re outsiders.”

“You’d tell me if someone was picking on you, right?” Danny asked, concerned when he thought about all the homophobic assholes in the world. Denise and Melissa were so very open with each other. Their love was always tangible. “No one’s allowed to bully you. That’s not okay.”

“You can’t fight the world.”

“I can try,” Danny argued, feeling his body tighten in defensiveness at the thought of people picking on them. “I want you to give me the names of the people who are bullying you. You need to let me take care of it.”

“Go to sleep, Danny.” Melissa’s eyes closed, her body losing its tension as she started to fall back to sleep, as if being forced to be an outsider was something long ago accepted and no longer a concern.

“Shit,” Danny growled, rubbing a hand against his forehead in frustration as he took another drag. He leaned down to tap his cigarette against the ashtray on the floor by his bed. “I’m gonna go get a drink.”

Melissa made a noncommittal noise, making it obvious she was closer to sleep than alertness. Danny rolled off the mattress, feeling tense and angry because he couldn’t protect Denise and Melissa from a cruel, homophobic world. Instead he found himself searching for something he had been avoiding for two long weeks, ever since he’d first noticed Paul’s arm carved up in a way that made it obvious someone was using him for sadistic recreation.

With his fishing lantern for light, he sat on the floor of his bedroom closet with the door closed and a cigarette between his lips. The smoke stung his eyes as he searched through boxes. He put out one cigarette and lit another before he found what he was looking for, pulling an envelope out from under a stack of fishing and rodeo magazines. It looked like a wedding invitation, with the gold, embossed writing and finely leafed borders, but it was actually something much different.

Danny sat there staring at the card under the orange haze from the fishing lantern. The name Arty Rossi glared back at him in silent challenge from the laminated paper. He tapped his cigarette against the ashtray next to him as he considered the invitation, an open one that boasted invite-only parties two weekends a month at Arty’s large estate hidden in a wooded lot on the outskirts of Tampa.

The very last place in the world Danny wanted to go was one of Arty’s parties. He thought he was a pretty open-minded guy sexually, considering he’d known he was bisexual since seventh grade when girls weren’t the only ones he was kissing behind the bleachers, but Arty turned out to be a bit too much for Danny to take.