[Finding Emma 03.0] Megan's Hope (3 page)

May

The moment she turned the corner, the smell of sausage and goat cheese overwhelmed her. With a hand clasped over her mouth, Megan ran backwards, down the hallway, until she hit the bathroom, and dry heaved. That
’
s all she did lately, dry heave. She hated it. She
’
d rather go through all the motions of being sick rather than this. Her stomach muscles hurt from the force and she groaned.

“
It
’
s the sausage, isn
’
t it?
”
Peter stood there, at the door, dish towel flung over one shoulder and a wooden mixing spoon in the other.
“
You were okay with it last week.
”

She gave him a weak smile and shooed him away. The smell of the sausage lingered over him like a wet blanket.

“
One more thing to add to the list.
”
He sighed before he headed back into the kitchen.

Megan felt for him. For the past three weeks, they
’
d been adding smells she couldn
’
t handle to a list on the fridge door and it grew every day. She didn
’
t remember being this bad with the other three. Sure, she had morning sickness, but that
’
s all it was. Morning sickness. A few bland crackers, a few hours into the day and it was over.

Not this time. The morning sickness lasted throughout the day, and last night she
’
d pitched out of bed while she watched a movie with Peter to dry heave over the toilet in their bathroom. She found cool showers helped somewhat and lived on protein drinks, it seemed. Little by little, everything she liked to eat wasn
’
t agreeable.

“
I
’
m going to sit out in the front for a bit,
”
she called out. She didn
’
t dare head back towards the kitchen and she knew the girls were out in the driveway, coloring with chalk Jack had brought the other day.

She sat down on a porch swing Peter installed last week and watched the girls as they literally drew all over the driveway and even on the sidewalk. Her life was so full lately and she couldn
’
t imagine what it would mean to have another child in the house. She rested her hand against her stomach and her heart lurched.

She wasn
’
t sure she was ready to have another child, and yet, by even admitting that, waves of guilt washed over her. What kind of mother didn
’
t want her own child? Even if that child was only a few weeks in the womb?

The pads of her thumbs gently stroked the small swell of her belly. Of course she wanted this little one. How could she not? It was like getting a second chance, to try again and do better.

“
Want to color with me?
”
Alexis leaned across the front porch fence and held out a pink chalk in one hand and a green one in the other.
“
I
’
m in charge of the sidewalk.
”

Megan leaned forward and attempted to see what Alex had already drawn but she couldn
’
t make it out. She cleared her throat and stood. She reached for the green chalk.

“
What are we drawing? Castles? Unicorns? Flowers?
”

Alexis
’
s nose scrunched up and she shook her head.
“
As if. Emma
’
s doing that. I drew a fire-breathing dragon but then she got all upset because it was going to hurt her princess.
”

Megan laughed.
“
Well then, maybe I need to draw a prince to save the day.
”

The look on Alexis
’
s face was priceless. She stared up at Megan as if she
’
d just spouted the most insane piece of information.

“
Since when did a prince need to save the day? And no one slays my dragon. He
’
s there to protect Emma
’
s castle.
”

“
Does Emma know that?
”

Alex only shrugged. Megan stopped where Emma was squatted down and studied her castle. It was impressive and reminded her of the castle at Disneyland.

“
Do you like it?
”
Emma drew another turret onto the castle.

“
I do. And it
’
s very big.
”
It was almost half the width of their double-car driveway.
“
But where
’
s the princess?
”

Emma stood, dropped the chalk she held onto the ground and wiped her hands on her jeans. Megan inwardly groaned at the idea of doing another load of laundry.

“
Over there.
”
She pointed to the corner of the driveway where Hannah sat. In front of her was what looked to be a carriage with three people inside. At least, she thought they were people.

“
What did you draw, Hannah?
”
Megan asked.

“
The king, queen, and the princess.
”

“
Is she an only child?
”

Hannah shrugged.
“
According to Emma.
”

Megan slowly nodded but kept any comments she had to herself. Emma was having a hard time with the idea of having a baby brother or sister, and it was coming out in different ways. This was just another way for Emma to voice her opinion.

Megan took another look at the family in the carriage.

“
Hannah is the queen...
”
Her voice drifted off at the look on her daughter
’
s face. She could have sworn the queen had a belly the size of a beach volleyball.

Megan pointed to her stomach and then to the drawing on the ground. Hannah nodded and then smiled. Megan blew her a kiss while Emma looked elsewhere.

When they
’
d broken the news to the girls about the baby, Hannah had been ecstatic. She was so excited and asked a million questions while Alexis only asked one: where would the baby sleep? Emma had reached for a piece of paper and pencil from the middle of the kitchen table and began to draw, never once saying a word.

“
What do you think I should draw then? It looks like everything is covered. You
’
ve got the castle, the princess and her family, the royal dragon...
”
Megan glanced around for an empty space on the sidewalk and had an idea.

She knelt down and began to draw. She wasn
’
t the best artist in the world, so she hoped the girls would be able to tell what it was. She sketched the outline, added a few layers to her masterpiece, and then reached for a different colored chalk piece.

“
Oh...I know what that is!
”
Emma knelt beside her and helped her. Megan didn
’
t really mind; her daughters were better at this than she was. It didn
’
t take long for Hannah and Alexis to join her, but the other two girls drew their own masterpieces. Once they finished, Megan stood, rubbed her hands on her jeans before she could stop herself and grinned. There on the sidewalk were three amazing cakes fit for royalty.

“
You know what I
’
m in the mood for now?
”
she said.

“
Cake?
”
Alexis
’
s eyes lit up at the idea.

Megan nodded. She wasn
’
t sure, though, she could handle the baking process of the cake, but maybe, while the girls ate dinner with Peter, she could sneak over to Brewster
’
s Bakery and see whether Jean had anything she could take home. Or maybe she should call first and have Jan bring it out to her. Megan didn
’
t want to tempt fate and have the delicious smells in there upset her stomach.

“
Hey, Megan?
”
Peter stood on the porch and waved to her.
“
You probably don
’
t want to come in for a bit. Laurie is on her way over and offered to take you for a drive until I get the kitchen cleaned up after dinner.
”

Megan walked over to him and placed her arms around his waist. She rested her head on his chest.
“
Was this your idea or hers?
”

Peter wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.
“
Mine. I promise tomorrow I
’
ll cook something that won
’
t smell so strong.
”

“
Or I can plan to go for walks at night while you eat dinner,
”
she suggested. It was actually a good idea. She wasn
’
t able to get her runs in right now, so walking would be good for her.

“
That would work too.
”
Peter
’
s sigh of relief was loud enough for her to hear.
“
Do you know how hard it is to think of something that won
’
t upset your stomach? You can
’
t handle chicken, steak, onions, cheese, or cooked cauliflower. I won
’
t even try fish.
”

Megan wrinkled her nose at that.
“
Extra long walks with a protein shake sounds like the perfect answer. As long as all the windows are open and you promise to have it all cleaned up by the time I get back.
”

Peter placed a kiss on the top of her head.
“
It
’
s a deal. Anything for you.
”

June

Jack hung up the phone and allowed Jackie to lead him to the kitchen table. He sat and she rolled up his sleeve to take his blood pressure. He already knew it was low. Too low.

“
I
’
m not sure if going today is such a good idea,
”
Jackie said to him.

“
I
’
m not letting my girl down. I don
’
t care if it kills me.
”
Despite the fact he gave her a good glare, he knew, deep down, she was right.

“
It probably would kill you, stubborn fool.
”
Jackie grumbled at him before she listened to his heartbeat and shook her head.
“
I
’
m going to see about getting you an earlier appointment. I don
’
t want you to wait another week to see the doctor.
”

“
I
’
m not taking more meds.
”
The last round made him sicker than a dog and he
’
d had to cancel a few dates with his little girl. He wasn
’
t doing that again.

“
Have her parents bring her out here.
”
Doug handed him a mug of tea and sat down across from him.
“
You know she loves coming out here.
”

“
I want to see her graduate.
”
He grunted as Jackie handed him a pill.
“
I promised.
”
Em had called this morning before school to make sure he was going to be there. Despite the rough morning, he
’
d made her a promise and he wasn
’
t about to break it.

“
You can
’
t drive.
”
Jackie stood there, her arms crossed as she waited for him to take the pill.

“
Then you
’
ll have to drive me.
”
He was going, no matter what any of them said.
“
But we need to leave soon. I want to stop and get her flowers.
”

“
I
’
m coming too, then.
”
Doug sipped at his tea.

Jack nodded. That was fine. Em loved Doug and the stories he would tell her and it would mean she wasn
’
t as focused on him. Maybe she wouldn
’
t notice how he was feeling.

When he went to stand, the room spun. He was forced to grab the edge of the table while Jackie grabbed his other arm to steady him.

“
Jack...
”

He shook his head and focused on breathing.
In and out. In and out.
If it weren
’
t for Em graduating today, he would go and sit in his rocker and fall asleep. But he wasn
’
t sure how much more time he had with her, and he
’
d be damned if he let one more day slip from his fingers without her in it. He was going and that was that.

“
Doug, there
’
s a small wood box out in the shed. Can you get it for me? It
’
s tied with a red ribbon.
”
He
’
d spent the past few weeks making her a small chest for her dollhouse. The last time she
’
d come over, he
’
d found her playing in the blanket chest Dottie had kept at the edge of their bed. He
’
d found some spare quilting sheets Dottie had around the house and made what looked like a blanket, all folded up. At least, he hoped it looked like a blanket. He
’
d had to glue the edges together because his hands weren
’
t steady enough to hold a needle and thread.

“
I
’
ll meet you out in the truck, then?
”
Doug asked.

Jack nodded his head while Jackie shook hers.
“
If you think I
’
m going to drive that piece of junk, you
’
re out of your mind. We
’
ll take my van. It
’
ll be easier for you to get in and out of, anyways.
”

Jack scowled.
“
I
’
m not going in no stinkin
’
wheelchair.
”

“
I never said you had to.
”
She patted him on the shoulder.
“
But the lift will make it easier for you to get in and out of the van.
”
She reached for her purse and medical bag and held her hand out for him to take.

“
You
’
re not taking that bag in with us.
”

“
Of course not.
”

“
And you
’
re not going to tell her I
’
m not feeling well?
”

She shook her head.
“
Well, I may tell Megan. You know she
’
ll ask anyways.
”

She was right. Megan would ask. She reminded him so much of his Mary, the way she wanted to take care of him, make sure he was okay...she was the daughter he
’
d lost, in a way.

“
You know Emma will figure it out though, right? She
’
s a smart little girl.
”

Jack shuffled his way to the front door where he reached for his cane.

“
Why don
’
t you suggest they come out here and she can make cookies with me while you relax in your chair, afterwards? She seems to be the best medicine for you anyways.
”
Jackie held the door open for him.

“
I might just do that. She likes to take care of me, saw Dottie do enough of that. But only if you
’
ll make a cake too, to celebrate her kindergarten graduation.
”

Doug waited by the van for them.

“
I
’
m sure Megan already has a cake for her, but we could invite them all out here for a barbeque, if you promise to sit and relax and let Peter do the cooking.
”
Jackie gave him a stern look and he knew better than to complain or argue.

“
Just get me to the school and we
’
ll see how it goes.
”

He would get through this day, doing all he could to see his little girl smile, no matter what.