Finding Haven (32 page)

He closed the screen door behind him. “Hey, Shug.”

“Look who’s here.” She was working on a crossword puzzle.

He held up the key. “I came to drop these off. I’m moving out.”

She stood from behind the desk and walked toward him. He didn’t know what was happening.
She reached up with her lips and kissed him on the cheek.

“Shug!” He smiled.

“You know I’m a big fan, and I wasn’t about to let you waltz out of here without at
least one smooch.” She giggled like one of his twenty-something fangirls.

“I hear you might have a calendar of mine. Can I sign it before I leave?” He waited
while she pulled it from the desk drawer.

“I wasn’t going to ask you to sign it.”

“I know, but I want to.” He reached for her crossword puzzle pen. “To Shug,” he read
aloud while he wrote his message. “Thank you for a wonderful summer. I’ll never forget
Silver Belle or you. All my love, Evan.”

He handed it to her. “And thank you for keeping my secret all summer.”

“It’s none of my business.” She swatted at the air. “You going to tell Harry you’re
off? He’s fishing.”

“I wouldn’t leave without doing that.” He moved toward the door. “Bye, Shug.” He closed
the door behind him and headed to the beach where Harry would be sitting with his
pole, waiting for the fish to bite.

T
HE FERRY
crew waved him on the ramp. Evan had barely made it. When he pulled up and realized
he was at the end of the line, a sliver of hope surfaced that maybe he didn’t have
to leave Perry Island. Even though he knew there wasn’t any reason to stay. It only
brought her more pain if he tried to see her, and he was done causing her pain.

He parked behind a pickup truck and waited for the crew to put the blocks under his
tires before stepping out of his Jeep. It might hurt, but he was going to take in
every mile of the island while the ferry floated him toward the mainland. He needed
to memorize it. He heard the horn blow and he leaned against the railing, letting
the wind whip his hair. He pulled his glasses over his eyes and watched Perry Island
slip farther away.

I
T HAD
been a week, and in those moments when Haven focused on something else, breathing
wasn’t as painful. It should have been an amazing week. She signed the contract with
Blue Steel Records, thanks to her father. She still hadn’t come to terms with the
steps they had taken in their relationship. It seemed different somehow. Maybe at
some point she could talk to him about what he was doing with Betra, but she was nowhere
near ready for that. Right now, they were on speaking terms and he was helping her
sort through the business aspect of her first contract. It was something new and delicate.

As phenomenal as the contract was and the prospect of working with Carly Stone, it
was all blurred and hazy from the numbness that crept in when she wasn’t looking.

His name was Evan Carlson. Evan Carlson, she tried saying it so many times, but feeling
the betrayal surge through every time it passed over her lips always stopped her cold.

Was any of it real? She had asked herself that question repeatedly. She stared at
the ceiling, rocked in her hammock, drank a bottle of wine, and ran on the beach,
asking that question. Was it real?

The question had rooted in her heart, and the only way to deal with it was to write
about it. The lyrics came out in complete versus, pouring forth with every tear and
every sob that shook her.

Every time she heard from him, she shut him out. She didn’t want to hear excuses or
justifications for the lies even though she craved them. It felt like weakness invading
her body how desperately she wanted to know how sorry he was. If she heard just the
right words, maybe the nightmare would go away and she could slide into his arms where
the world was safe and calm. However, she kept pushing his chance away. It scared
her to face him.

She realized she was completely new to the ways of the rich and famous, but when her
landlady, Mrs. Gaits, showed up to hand her real estate papers, she almost fainted.
Evan had bought her house. Well, he bought it for her. There was a letter enclosed.
He wanted her to have a place that was all hers, that she didn’t have to share or
worry about nosey neighbors. She thought it was ironic, considering none of her neighbors
were the ones who ratted her out to the press. It was all people he knew.

While she was still trying to absorb her new homeowner status, a van pulled up from
Banks Security. Evan had called the company to install a security system. He didn’t
send a letter with them. Reluctantly, she let the men in. It was highly unlikely her
life would be under the media microscope again, but she agreed that if it ever were,
she’d rather lockdown in her place instead of Casa del Ben.

The biggest highlight of the week had to be the call with Carly Stone. Carly had called
her, and Haven almost flipped right out of her hammock. She sounded like any other
twenty-three-year-old girl—happy, fun, in love with music. Haven knew they instantly
clicked. She trusted her with her music.

Trust. The word had many layers and folds. This week, she had never known it to be
such a gray fabric. The one person she had given herself to completely had betrayed
her, and the one person she considered the island’s biggest walking liar, she had
entrusted with her music career.

Haven ran her fingers through her hair, closing her eyes. Maybe some time away from
Perry Island would take the hurt away, redefine normal, and restore some balance in
her life. It was only a four-day trip to Austin to meet with Bruce and Carly, but
it was a welcome distraction.

She stepped from her car. She always liked to watch from the railing when the ferry
horn sounded the departure. It was like embarking on a new journey every time.

The salt air filled her lungs, and she leaned against the ship’s wall. The sun felt
good on her face. She shifted left, watching the foam bubble up in the wake of the
ferry. Her eyes trailed along the crowd who had gathered to wave good-bye to the island.
She froze. Her heart quickened. It was him. Evan Carlson was standing fifty feet away,
leaning against the ferry. Before she could dart back to her car, he saw her. And
there was no hiding, no escaping. He was walking, dodging children, bikes, and cars
to get to where she was.

E
VAN’S HEART
pounded and his head was racing. Haven was there. She was on the ferry, and if he
could get there fast enough, he could touch her. That was stupid; maybe he could talk
to her. He zigzagged between cars, never realizing fifty feet could be so far away.

“Haven!” he shouted. She was turning from the railing, and he worried that she might
lock herself in her car. He couldn’t blame her. There were a lot of reasons to lock
him out.

He jogged to her. She was close to the bow, where there was an open platform too narrow
for cars to pull forward.

“What are you doing here?” The urge to reach for her and pull her against his chest
was unbearable. Why was that the first thing he said, instead of ‘you’re beautiful
and I’m an idiot’?

“I’m going to meet with Bruce.” She hid her blue eyes behind sunglasses.

There wasn’t a right thing to say, but he had to try. “I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.”
Maybe she would listen.

“We can’t talk about this right here.”

“Why not? We have one hour until we get to the other side. One hour, and then if you
don’t want to, you don’t ever have to talk to me again.”

Her hair blew around her bare shoulders.

She pointed at a line of people behind Evan. “But, look. I’m not interested in making
the news again.”

Dammit. Tourists and their smart phones. He looked for somewhere they could hide.
If he let her drive off this ferry, it would be final. There would be no second chance.

He grabbed her by the hand, ignoring her attempt to jerk it back. “Follow me.”

He climbed a set of stairs to the lounge. There were several couples and a family
enjoying the air conditioning and the wide views the windows provided of the sound.

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. “Listen up.” He cleared
his throat, competing with the hum of the ferry engine. “I’ve got a hundred dollars
for each of you if you’ll give me the courtesy of having this room for the rest of
the ride.”

Haven looked at him as if he had announced he was about to start breaking kneecaps.

“But, it’s all or nothing, everyone out or no cash.” He ignored her glare and started
counting out the bills.

“You got it.”

“Yep, we can enjoy the view downstairs.”

“Thank you.” The last couple to leave collected their two hundred dollars.

Evan slid a chair under the door handle.

“Ok. We’re alone. No cameras, no people. You and me.”

Haven stacked her hands on her hips. “You paid them off!”

Evan shook his head. “I want to be alone with you. Yes, I paid them off. I would clear
out my bank account to be alone with you.”

“And buy beach houses with it?” She fumed.

“You didn’t like that? I thought you’d want your own place and that way you can keep
it secure. You love it there.” He knew she didn’t respond when he sent the letter,
but he had hoped she saw it for the gesture it was. He wanted to protect her.

She spun on her heels and looked out of the window. “I do love it, but I don’t love
being bought. Is that what being a movie star is all about?” She glared at him.

That hurt, but he knew he deserved it. He had given her the worst possible example
of movie stars instead of just being himself from the beginning.

He inhaled all the air his lungs would take in. He needed strength. He needed the
speech of his life to get her back. “Haven. I lied to you about who I was. I lied.
I am a liar. But—”

“No! There are no buts for lying. Why couldn’t you just tell me your name? Two words—it
was only two words,” she pleaded as she lowered into the chair.

Evan looked out the window. There were people gathered below with cameras. He reached
above each window and tugged on the pulleys until all of the blinds were closed.

It was as if she was in a trance. She kept talking, so he kept listening. “Did you
think I cared about your money or about your fame? Did you really think it mattered
to me that you’re a movie star? I haven’t even seen any of your damn movies!”

“Ok, I get what I did was wrong. And no, I never thought that stuff mattered to you.
I know you don’t care if I have fifty million dollars or enough to buy us dinner.”

Her eyes flared. “No, I didn’t want any of that from you. That’s not what we were
about.”

Here she was telling him the things he had known and felt since the first day on the
docks. There were more important things in life, and he would give every cent he had
if he could trade his life in and stay on Perry Island with her.

“I was stupid and made the biggest mistake of my entire life. Believe that.”

A tear rain down her cheek. “How can I believe anything you say? You have lost
all
credibility.”

He kneeled in front of her, desperately wanting to wipe the tear from her face, but
knowing she would probably slap him if he tried to touch her.