Finding Home (5 page)

I didn’t want Derek to see me, so I left some money on the bar and stood up, turning to Brandon’s table, but was surprised to see Brandon sitting there alone.  I looked around, but didn’t see Dana anywhere and I decided it was safe to go back.

“You okay?” he asked, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m fine,” I answered curtly.

“You were in there forever.  I thought you’d fallen in or something.” He was chuckling, but I, obviously, didn’t find it funny.  It just solidified what I’d been thinking about him earlier.

“Are you ever gonna grow up?” I snapped at him.

“What’re you talking about?”

“You’re never gonna change.  You’re exactly the same.  I thought you might’ve matured just a little bit considering everything that’s happened to you, but you haven’t,” I spat at him quickly and when I looked up into his blue eyes, his brows were furrowed, a confused look on his face. 

“Where is all of this coming from?” he asked, leaning forward on the table towards me.

“You thought I was in the bathroom this whole time?” I said and I could feel my lips pursed as I glared at him. “I wasn’t in the bathroom the whole time, you jerk.  I walked right past you and sat at the bar for like ten minutes, by myself, mind you, even though I was supposed to be here hanging out with you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t see you walk by, but to be fair, Mandy, you’re the one who sat over there.”

“Yeah…because I didn’t want to see you drooling all over Dana.” He threw his head back and the deep, throaty laugh that came out only pissed me off more. “I seriously can’t believe you, Brandon.  I know all you care about is getting laid, but Dana, seriously?  Do your friends even matter to you?  Do you even care what her best friend did to Riley?  Do you care about what Alex did to Riley?  How could you even give that girl the time of day?”

I sat back forcefully in the chair, folding my arms across my chest.  I watched as he stopped laughing and our eyes met.

“It’s nice to know you have so much confidence in me, Mandy.”

“I’m just calling it like I see it.”

“Well,” he said, a smug smile spreading across his face. “You called it wrong, Miranda.  Do you see Dana sitting here?” I just shook my head, but didn’t say anything. “No, you don’t because I told her thanks, but no thanks.” I felt the scowl on my face soften as I realized I’d misjudged Brandon. “What?  Cat’s got your tongue?”

He was smiling at me now and I felt like such a bitch for going off on him.  I sat there silently for a few seconds because I didn’t know how I was going to remove the foot from my mouth.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said. “I just assumed…”

“That I’d hit that the second I got the chance?” he interrupted and I nodded. “A year ago, I probably would’ve.  Not now.”

“Why?” I asked quietly, even though I was certain I knew the answer.

“Because I know what really matters and she doesn’t matter to me.”

I breathed out as a smile spread across my face. 

“So, Brandon Seaver has finally grown up?”

“Not completely,” he said with his trademark smirk and I just laughed.  He stood up, holding his hand out to me. “Wanna dance?”

“Again?” I asked, thinking back to the night we’d danced briefly at Slate Creek.

“I kinda liked dancing with you before,” he said, a sweet smile curling up on his lips and I took his hand, standing up.

“And I kinda liked dancing with you too.”

He just smiled again and wrapped his hand around mine as he walked me into the crowd.

Four

We hadn’t been out to Jesse’s place as a group since we’d had the going away party for Brandon before everything changed.  That had been three years ago, before Jesse broke Riley’s heart and before Brandon’s accident.  That seemed like a lifetime ago and after Jesse left, I didn’t think we’d ever be together again.  I’d been wrong.

I know they all thought I was oblivious to the awkwardness between Riley and Jesse at his unexpected return and I admit that when I first saw Jesse sitting in Brandon’s living room, I got excited, insisting we all hang out together.  I’d missed my friends.  I was the only one who’d stayed in Carver and a selfish part of me wanted to pretend, even if it was only for a little bit, that everything was okay again, the way it’d been before everyone left and it all changed.  That didn’t mean though that I wasn’t sensitive to their situation.  That was the past though.  Riley had moved on.  She had a boyfriend and Jesse had been gone for three years.  We all had to move on.

Brandon and I got there first.  Even though it’d been years since we’d been to Jesse’s, it was exactly the same.  Jesse was outside getting the grill ready when we pulled up and we went into the kitchen to get the food together.  I was rinsing a plate in the sink when I looked out the window and saw Riley’s Jetta pull up.  I saw Holly was in the passenger seat and I could feel a pit of excitement brewing in my stomach.  I couldn’t help but think about all the good times we had together and I hoped tonight would be another one of those times, even though Laura wouldn’t be with us and even though it was anybody’s guess how things would go between Riley and Jesse.

I felt Brandon beside me as I was turning off the faucet.  He smelled good.  I don’t think I’d ever noticed that before.  I glanced to my right and saw his arm was touching mine. His skin was warm and I told myself I shouldn’t be noticing that either.  He was staring out the window, presumably at Riley and Holly, and he had a smirk on his face.

“Is something funny?” I asked, moving away so our arms no longer touched so I could grab a towel to dry my hands.

“I’m just thinking that tonight should be interesting.”

“How so?”

“Jesse and Riley.”

“They’ll be fine.  It was three years ago.  I’m sure they’re both over it by now,” I said and Brandon just snickered.

“It must be nice to live in your world of oblivion, Mandy,” he said and I just glared at him.

“Thanks for the insult,” I said, turning and continuing on cutting the tomato for the burgers.

“No problem,” he grinned back.

“And I don’t live in a world of oblivion.”

“Yes, you do.  I’d love to look inside your brain.  I’m sure it’s all rainbows and unicorns where everything’s perfect.”

“What is your problem?  Why are you being such a jerk?”

“I’m not.  I just wish I had your positivity.  Nothing ever seems to get to you.”

“You obviously don’t know me very well.”

“I know you better than you think I do.”

“Whatever,” I said, glaring over to him. “Would you grab that plate over there?  We need to go say hi.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Brandon said and I just rolled my eyes at him as we made our way outside. 

~~~

Brandon was right.  It was an interesting night.  I tried to act as if nothing was different, but it
was
different.  As we talked, I watched Jesse and Riley.  They probably weren’t aware of the fact they kept glancing at each other.  Jesse was the worst offender.  His eyes were constantly on Riley when she wasn’t looking.  I thought it was sweet, but it made me sad too.  When they finally got together, they were one of those super couples like Romeo and Juliet or Tristan and Isolde.  They were Riley and Jesse.  They were perfect and they were going to be together for the rest of their perfect lives with their perfect children.  When they broke up, it basically destroyed my faith in true love.  If Riley and Jesse couldn’t make it, there was no hope for any of us. 

I tried keeping the conversation comfortable, which wasn’t easy, especially when Holly continued to grill Jesse on why he’d left.  It was making everyone uncomfortable and I was glad when Jesse suggested he bring out the four-wheelers. 

I climbed on the back of one with Jesse, wrapping my arms around him.  As we flew down the dirt road, the thunderous engine drowning everything else out, it felt like old times, even though most of the evening had been tense, and I felt myself smiling as Jesse continued down the road, eventually stopping at a pond a couple of miles from his house. 

“What is this place?” I asked, looking around.  The pond was nice.  Serene and tranquil, but then I looked over at the little white house nearby.  It looked like it was about to cave in, with peeling paint and broken windows.

“Just an old neighbor’s house.  Mrs. Kramer.”

“It looks like no one’s lived here in forever.”

“It’s been a long time.”

“How come we’ve never come out here before?”

“I didn’t want to scare you,” Jesse said and I didn’t like the way his eyebrows creased as his gaze drifted toward the house.

“Why would I be scared?”

“Well…” Jesse began and I could hear the hesitation in his voice.

“What is it, Jesse?” I insisted.

“Well…it’s thought that Mrs. Kramer was murdered.”

“What?” I gasped. “I’ve lived in Carver my whole life.  How come I’ve never heard of this?”

“Because,” he said, his voice suddenly dropping. “The cops knew it’d cause a huge panic.  They think it was devil worshipers or some kind of cult.  I only know because my dad came down here to check out what was going on when he saw the cops drive by to come investigate.”

“You’re such a liar,” I said, but Jesse didn’t crack a smile.

“I’m not lying, Mandy.  There’s still a pentagram  inside,” he said and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. “Wanna see it?”

I turned my head slowly in the direction of the old house, suddenly intrigued.  I didn’t say anything, but I nodded briefly and then Jesse grabbed my hand and started leading me to the house.  I could feel my heart pounding as we got closer.  I hated scary things.  I didn’t even watch horror movies, but for some reason, I couldn’t stop myself. 

Jesse went in first, pushing the door open with a loud creak.  It was dark inside and Jesse reached into his pocket, pulling out his cell phone to use as a flashlight.  He held it out in front of us as we walked in, the light bouncing off beams that had fallen from the ceiling and now lay in the deserted living room.  I could see faded and peeling wallpaper on the wall.  It was white with blue flowers and I couldn’t help but think how sad the place seemed. 

“What are you guys doing in here?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard Brandon’s voice behind us.  Jesse turned, shining the light towards him.  I didn’t like the way the shadows fell on his face.  It made him look menacing. 

“I was just telling Mandy about Mrs. Kramer and the cult.  Remember that?” Jesse asked and I watched as Brandon’s face lit up in recognition.

“Hell, yeah I remember that.  That was some freaky shit,” he said, stepping inside with us.

“Where’s Riley?” I asked.

“She’s just hanging out by the trees.  I don’t know what she’s doing,” Brandon said, stepping further into the house. 

“So, where’s this pentagram?” I asked, my heart continuing to pound.

“In the bathroom.  On the mirror,” Jesse told me and he pointed down the small hallway. 

I didn’t want to seem afraid, so I started walking to where he was pointing.  It was too dark and the light of Jesse’s flashlight was hardly any help.  I kept going though and soon I was at the door of the bathroom.  I reached up hesitantly and pushed it open, stepping inside before I lost my nerve.

Before I realized what was happening, it went pitch black and I heard the door slam shut.  I screamed instinctively, rushing for the door, grabbing for the knob.  I found it and started twisting and pulling frantically.  I thought my heart was going to fly out of my throat and I could feel tears brimming in my eyes from fear.

“Brandon!  Jesse!”  I was pounding on the door, but it just replied with a hollow nothingness.

Then, my head jerked around as I heard clawing at the broken window a few feet away.  It was metallic and terrifying and when I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself, a few tears escaped.  The scratching continued and I nearly lost it when I heard pounding on the door.

“Dammit, you assholes, let me out!” I was practically screaming at the top of my lungs.  I decided to try the door again and this time, it flung open.  I stood there for a second in amazement that I wasn’t trapped anymore.  I could barely see, but it didn’t stop me from booking it the hell out of there.  I started running, not caring that I was tripping over God knows what.  I saw the front door and I moved even faster, wanting to get away from this deathtrap.  I felt the fresh air wash across my face as I crossed the threshold and I was just about to breathe out in relief when I felt something grab me.  There were hands around my waist and I screamed, batting at them.  They let go and I started running as fast as I could.  I looked up and saw Riley standing in the trees, just as Brandon said she would be.  I ran to her and didn’t stop until I heard bellowing laughter from behind me.  I could hardly breathe, but I turned to see Brandon and Jesse doubled over, holding their guts and hysterically laughing.

“Mandy, what’s wrong?” Riley asked, taking a hold of me.  I still could hardly breathe and I took a few seconds, trying to collect myself.

“Those…two…jackasses!” I panted as I glared over to the two idiots. 

“What happened?” she asked me, but I didn’t say anything as I continued trying to catch my breath.  I was hunched over, but I saw Brandon and Jesse walking towards us.

“What did you guys do?” Riley asked them.

“We were just having a little fun,” Brandon said and I watched as he tried to contain his laughter.  I wanted to punch him in the stomach.

“Well, obviously you succeeded,” Riley spat at them and she seemed genuinely upset at them, which I was thankful for. 

“They locked me in the bathroom of that death trap,” I said, finally calming myself enough to talk.

“We didn’t lock her in,” Jesse cut in, but I knew he was lying. “She’d never been out here and I told her that same story I told you, about the satanic cult, remember that?” he asked, looking over at Riley. “She wanted to check it out for herself, so we went in and then she started looking around.”

“When she walked into the bathroom, I just happened to accidently shut the door,” Brandon added and again, I wanted to punch him because he was such a liar. 

“Accidently, my ass!” I started shouting. “I couldn’t get out.  Then I heard this clawing at the window and then banging on the door.  They kept me in there forever!” I could feel the tears burning in my eyes and I tried not to cry.  I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. 

“We did not.  It was a like a minute, if even that long,” Brandon said and I noticed that he rolled his eyes at me, which hurt me even more.  He thought this was funny and what they’d done to me was far from funny.

“Whatever,” I sneered at them. “You scared the crap out of me and when they finally let me out, they were gone and then they jumped out and started chasing me as I was running out of the house.  It was freaky as hell!” My glare was harsh as my eyes darted between Brandon and Jesse and I couldn’t help myself when I muttered, “Assholes.”

“That was messed up,” Riley said, glaring at them too.

“I wanna go back,” I demanded, marching towards the quads before the assholes could say one more thing to try and justify their actions. 

“C’mon, Mandy, don’t be like that!” Brandon was calling out to me, but I kept walking, picking up my pace.  I didn’t want to talk to him. “C’mon!  Even with one leg I’m faster than you, so you’d better just give up now and talk to me.” 

I was almost back to the quads, but I decided to stop.  I spun around quickly to see Brandon coming towards me.  I could still see the laughter he was trying to suppress on the corners of his mouth and that just pissed me off even more.

“I have nothing to say to you, asshole,” I sneered at him and he smiled for a second before he tried hiding it again.

“In all the time I’ve known you,” he began, stopping a couple of feet in front of me. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say a cuss word and yet in the span of the last five minutes, I’ve heard you call me an asshole twice.”

“You’re lucky that’s all I’m calling you.”

“Friends don’t call each other assholes,” he said, flashing a playful grin at me, which didn’t soften me up at all.  I continued to stand there with my arms crossed and guarded.

“And friends don’t do what you did to me tonight, Brandon,” I said and before I could stop it, a tear fell from my eye.  I wiped it away quickly though, but not fast enough.  I know he saw it and I could’ve been imagining it, but I thought I saw a look of remorse on his face. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice soft and regretful. 

“I’m not surprised you and Jesse would do that to me.  You guys have never respected me.  None of you have.”