Finding Home - A Post Apocalyptic Novel (The Ravaged Land Series Book 2) (15 page)

“Was he?” Dean asked raising an eyebrow. “You’re sure?”

“I saw him without his shirt at one point, so yes, he was. He could barely lift his arms,” I said feeling defensive. Even though I didn’t fully trust Penn either, I didn’t like how suspicious Dean sounded. I felt as though he should have trusted my judgement. “It wasn’t like I could just leave him out there to die.”

“So you let him in and then what?”

“He lived here with me from that point on. Eventually I told him about HOME. And then you guys, and my plan to go in and find you. He had been nothing but good to me, and helpful around here,” I said as I tried to decide whether or not I should tell him about what happened to Penn and his family.

Dean coughed and leaned towards me slightly, “Between you and me, I don’t trust him. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t like him.”

“Maybe it’s because Sienna has a little crush on him,” I teased.

“What? She does not.”

“She sure does, but don’t say anything to her about it,” I said regretting that I had even mentioned it. Dean might go right up to her and put his foot down demanding she stop that crushing nonsense at once. “I mean it, don’t say anything. He’s not going to act on it or anything….”

“And how can you be sure about that?”

“I don’t know I just don’t think so is all,” I said choosing not to tell him that I thought Penn may have developed some feelings for me. I didn’t want to sound conceited, and it didn’t matter, Penn knew I was with Ryan. He had respected that, for the most part, since day one.

Dean scooted closer and when I felt his shoulder lightly touching mine, the air in the room changed. The look on his face softened, “I can’t believe the whole time we all were apart you were right here. Not even that far away. While I was mourning you, you were only miles away. None of this feels real.”

I couldn’t stop the redness that colored and warmed my cheeks. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me against his chest. I tucked my head down and let out a soft sigh. I felt safe. There was a certain serenity that fill me when I was with Dean.

He reached out and twirled his fingers in my hair. I wondered if he liked the new haircut and color. Eventually the color would grow out, and my old color would return. As for the length it would grow back. It was already longer from when I had first trimmed it.

“I missed you so much,” he said and I wanted nothing more than to stay next to him for as long as possible. It was strange to want Ryan back, while at the same time trying to understand what I was feeling towards Dean. I was confused and conflicted. Things were complicated, but I wished they hadn’t been. It had been a long time since I’d seen Ryan. A very long time. For all I knew he had already moved on. Maybe he thought I had abandoned him and that I was long gone. Maybe he thought I was dead just like Dean had.

Dean pulled me closer, and I didn’t resist. Maybe I should have but I didn’t. It was like I had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. They were arguing back and forth about what I should do. But I couldn’t tell which of the two guys the angel was rooting for and which one the devil was backing.

He looked down at the same time I looked up at him. Our lips were so close, my breathing all but stopped as I looked into his gorgeous eyes. Dean blinked, “Ryan… I mean… I… where do I stand in all this?” he said as he shifted his gaze away from mine. It looked as though he was afraid to hear the answer.

“I don’t know. Things are a little weird right now. But I, we, owe it to Ryan to try to find him. After everything he did for us, it’s the least we can do,” I said trying to be as honest and straightforward as I possibly could. I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.

Truth was I wanted to kiss Dean. I knew he had feelings for me for a long time, and somehow since being away from him and then seeing him again, I realized I had some for him too. But I also still had feelings for Ryan. If that was even possible. I was frustrated at myself for getting into this predicament.

“I get it,” Dean said looking at his feet.

“But he’s probably moved on… forgotten all about me by now,” I said, my voice shaky. I couldn’t tell if the weakness in my voice was from sadness or because I was tired from not having slept at all. Maybe it was both.

“I seriously doubt that. I hadn’t forgotten about you,” he said turning towards me again. We were so close I could feel his breath lightly on my lips. I slowly leaned forward. The angel and devil were pushing and pulling me, and one of them, the one pushing me towards Dean was slightly stronger. Our lips were so close that we couldn’t have been any closer without touching.

Through my more than half-closed eyes I saw a flash of light through the window. I jumped backwards assuming it was the light from the helicopter. They found us.

Chapter thirteen.

I was looking around in a state of panic just waiting for the people from HOME to rush up the stairs and take us, or kill us. But instead the flash of light was soon followed by a ground shaking rumble of thunder, and then the sound of water pouring down over the roof. Dean stepped a little closer to the window.

My heart was racing, but at the same time relief washed over me as I came to the realization it wasn’t HOME, it was just a thunderstorm.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to stand by the window during a thunderstorm?” I said nervously. I had probably done it a million times myself but the lightning had struck really close so I was extra nervous.

“It’s hailing,” he said as he closed the curtain and stepped away from the window.

“Like hail-hail, or hail the size of watermelons hail?”

“The first one. Normal hail. If it was watermelon hail, you’d know it,” he said glancing up at the roof of my little cabin.

“Right,” I said realizing it probably would have broken right through. The loud and aggressive storm outside reminded me of everything from before. Long before we had even known about the strange place called HOME. The day that had taken away everything and everyone I had ever known. The day that changed my life forever. I blinked, and it must have been the longest blink ever because I saw everything replay through my mind. “It’s starting again isn’t it?” I said with a shiver. I hugged myself worried about having to go through it all again.

We’d never survive that storm a second time. Especially not here in this little cabin made of what I assumed was mostly wood. It wouldn’t even have to be tornado strength winds to blow this place down. A storm like that again and it would be the end of all of us.

“It’s just a thunderstorm.”

“Are you sure because if you’re wrong we’ll all die in here!” I said feeling like I might cry, or scream or hit something.

“I’m positive. Calm down, it’ll be OK,” he said pulling me into his arms. “It’s just a regular thunderstorm. I promise.”

“Why is there a thunderstorm?” I asked tilting my head. While we were in HOME the snow had started to melt but it was still rather chilly. I wasn’t any kind of weather expert, but it seemed odd for there even to be a thunderstorm right now.

“Seems like the weather has been messed up since that day,” Dean said shrugging his shoulders.

I tried not to worry, and being next to him helped, but it also helped that the clangorous pitter-pats on the roof from the hail stopped. It was still raining, and hard. There was a loud crack of lightning and I jumped again. Dean held me tighter.

“It’s OK,” he said trying to soothe me, I couldn’t stop my body from shaking. It was as if each lightning strike was a reminder of what could happen again. “Think about it this way. This storm is a good thing.”

“What? How is it a good thing?” I said not following his train of thought.

“It’ll probably delay the people from HOME if they are out looking for us. Maybe they’ll call off the search completely. But at the very least it’ll slow them down. They won’t take a helicopter out in this.”

“I hope you are right. I’m sure they know by now exactly who they are looking for. If they hadn’t already known, that is.”

“Yeah, they knew. I’m almost sure of it,” Dean said as his leg rapidly bounced up and down.

There was another flash in the distance followed by thunder that rattled the cabin. I shook my head, “How can you be so sure?”

“I think they watched and listened to everything. For all I know they let us break in to that office,” Dean said rubbing his hand against my back. “Maybe they wanted to see if they could figure out what information we were actually after. I hope they don’t know, or it could mean trouble for Ryan.”

“What do you think they would do to him?” I said biting at a fingernail.

“If they know we are going to go find him, maybe they’ll move him so we can’t. I can’t imagine they’d do anything too drastic, because he doesn’t know anything about our search. At least that’s what I hope, I’m just guessing.”

“Why would they need to keep us apart?” I asked even though I had a guess.

“They just want to keep as many people as they can. He’s in some kind of army, I don’t think they’ll hurt him because they discovered his old friends are looking for him.” Dean shrugged.

“They’ll just keep us apart,” I said finishing his thought.

It all seemed possible, but I didn’t think we’d ever really know the answers. The best we could do was go on the information we had and try to find him. We’d have our answer once we got there.

Dean shook his head and chuckled at himself, “Don’t listen to me. I sound crazy. This is what being in HOME did to me. I have no idea what they know and what they don’t know. It’s just all speculation.”

“What I still don’t get is why they had to kill Slade,” I said. My hand started to shake as I pictured his body jolting with each bullet that sank into him. HOME was pure evil and the only good that could have come from that murder was to show Penn just how evil they were.

“Me either,” Dean said with a shrug, “maybe they didn’t know it was him. Maybe they thought it was me. Or more likely they already knew he had betrayed them.”

“Well, I didn’t like what he did to me, but I obviously didn’t want him to die,” I said the sadness filling me from head to toe. I hadn’t helped him at the start of this all. The course of his short life would have been completely different if I would have just done something to help him. His blood was on my hands.

I looked up at Dean and he saw the sadness in my eyes. I could tell he wanted nothing more than to take the pain and hurt away. Even if he didn’t fully understand what it was about, he didn’t want me to have to feel the way I did. Seeing how he looked at me and that he seemed to genuinely care about me made my heart race. I wanted Dean to kiss me, I was sure of it. I didn’t bother questioning it. The timing just felt right. And… he felt it too.

I slid my hands around his neck and pulled him towards me. He slowly wrapped his arms around my waist as if he was afraid moving too fast would make everything stop. I twisted my fingers into his hair as I started to pull him closer.

“Excuse me,” Penn said with a cough. He was standing in the doorway trying to pretend he hadn’t seen anything. He must have pushed the door open without either of us having heard it move. Penn looked at me sideways for a brief second, “You guys can go downstairs and rest, I can keep watch for a while.”

He wasn’t fooling me. Penn hadn’t been oblivious to what he had just walked in on. I could tell by the little smirk he was trying to hide. He hadn’t cared at all that he had interrupted us. In fact, he could have easily noticed us and walked back downstairs but instead he decided to say something. I let my arms fall to my sides as I stepped away from Dean.

It had been a little strange that he had come up in the first place instead of just waiting downstairs with the others until we came back down. I could tell without Dean even having to say anything just how nervous he felt about letting Penn keep watch on his own. Dean didn’t know him, and he made it clear he didn’t trust him. The distrust actually radiated from his body.

“Ros, you should get some sleep,” Dean said glancing back and forth between Penn and me. “I’ll stay up and keep watch with Penn.”

“But you should really get some sleep too,” I said wishing I could take back the words. Dean shot me a look. I knew why he was staying but he needed rest too. We all did. I knew after all this time that Penn wouldn’t do anything other than keep us safe, and he’d do a good job of it because of his skill-set. But I guess there wasn’t any way I could convince Dean of that without actually making matters worse. It would just take time for him to see what kind of person Penn was.

“He’ll sleep next,” Penn said looking at Dean. I could tell based on the look on Penn’s face that the dislike or distrust, whatever, was mutual. I almost felt as if I shouldn’t leave the two of them alone. But they’d have to figure it out eventually.

“Go ahead Ros,” Dean said and tossed one of the pillows from the bed to me. My bed. The bed that I had slept in for more nights than I could count. And now, here I was getting kicked out of my own room.

I groaned and let out a big sigh, but I understood the situation. With the possibility of the people from HOME out there looking for us, I didn’t blame anyone for wanting to keep watch. We weren’t safe in this house. Keeping watch was smart. But I wanted my bed.