Finding Home - A Post Apocalyptic Novel (The Ravaged Land Series Book 2) (19 page)

I took several small drinks from the water before we went back out by the others. But I stayed back and sat by the kitchen table. I folded my arms in front of me and rested them on the table with my head tucked down inside.

“Why did HOME let Ros inside?” Dean demanded.

“I don’t really know. I’d guess it’s because they could keep an eye on her better in there. They didn’t really give me any information, that’s not how it works,” Penn said clear enough so I could hear him. I turned my head slightly so I could watch everyone. He was looking right at Dean, or so it seemed. But I already knew he could look someone right in the eye and outright lie with ease. He had done it to me since day one.

“Did they know she was looking for us? Ryan?”

“You guys, yes. Ryan… no,” he said twisting slightly to see where I was. I dropped my face back down into the darkness created by my arms and the table. The last thing I wanted to see was his face. I didn’t even want him to know I was listening. “I didn’t tell them everything. After I spent time with Ros, I really started to like… well, what I mean is, she made me question HOME. I started to pick and choose what to tell them. She made me think about some of the things I had seen and heard back when I had been at HOME, but by then it was too late. I had already told them more than I should have, but they knew I was with her so I couldn’t change any of that. The only thing I had any control over was how much I told them. By the time she told me why she was here in Alaska, I had already decided I wouldn’t tell them everything. In fact, I told them as little as I thought I could get away with.”

“Maybe they hadn’t planned on us sneaking into the offices. And they definitely hadn’t planned on Slade helping us,” Dean said mostly to Owen, apparently believing some of what Penn said.

I raised my head up, “Let’s suppose he’s lying. And they did know I was there to find Ryan. That file could be a complete load of BS.”

“I know you won’t believe me, but they didn’t know about Ryan. What I mean is, I’m sure they knew you had all been together originally, but they didn’t know you were specifically trying to find out what happened to him,” Penn said looking at me. I met his eyes, and I almost felt like throwing up again. And the look on his face showed me he knew just how he was making me feel. He looked beyond devastated.

“You’re right, we don’t believe you,” Dean said.

“The file was probably a fake in the hopes I’d stop looking for him,” I said keeping my head down.

“They didn’t know about Ryan!” Penn shouted. “At least not from me. And more importantly I don’t think they thought you were any real threat, hence why you are all still alive, but now that you are out and all together… that might be a different story,” he said with a shaky voice. “If they knew, and the file had been a fake, they wouldn’t have killed Slade then would they?”

Maybe that made sense. “Why didn’t they kill us when they had the chance?”

Penn shook his head, “I don’t think they just go around killing people without a reason. They had a reason to kill Slade. What reason did they have to kill you? But now we are all definitely in danger.”

“I’m going to go bury this fucking thing in the yard,” Owen said, and I heard him take a loud step towards the door. “For all we know this thing can still pick up what we are talking about.”

“Christ, I hope not,” Penn spat, “If it can, then I’m as good as dead.”

I couldn’t look at him, but I had to ask him one more thing. “So was everything you told me about what happened to you and your family a lie too? Your dad? Your sister? Those men?” I asked preparing myself to hear his lies.

“That was all true,” he said with a sniff, “I just left out a few details of what happened after that, and before I came here.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said putting my head back down to the side. “Everything you say is a lie. You’ll say whatever you think you need to so you can walk out of here in one piece.” Dean was nodding so hard I thought he’d hurt his neck. I didn’t like the smug look on his face. Yes, he had been right about Penn, but he didn’t have to wear that look.

When Owen came back inside he sat down on the sofa next to Sienna. She looked stunned. Maybe because the guy she had a little crush on turned out to be one of the bad guys.

“You guys have to listen to me,” Penn said looking quickly at each of us. He seemed nervous… panicked. “When I don’t communicate back, they will send someone looking for me. They know I’m with you, but right now they have no idea where I am, where you are, or anything for that matter. They’ll send out a search party for me at some point. I don’t think they are likely to just let us walk away after all this. You don’t care about me, but I do, I don’t want to die. They’ll kill me if they find me here without having updated them. Hell, they are going to kill me anyway.”

“Good. Rot in hell,” Owen said as he put his arm protectively around Sienna.

“They value their spies, like, a lot. We have to get out of here,” Penn said with wide eyes. He was desperately pleading with us and it seemed like the truth. He seemed truly afraid, but after what he had done, I wasn’t sure I cared. In fact, I didn’t.

Owen practically had a sneer on his face, “Sure, you messed with our SUV, tried to kill us, but now suddenly when your life is being threatened you want to help us.”

“It wasn’t like that. I did that when I first got here, before I knew anything about Ros, and I wasn’t suspicious of HOME. I thought
they
were the good guys. I thought
they
were going to save the world. Rebuild everything,” he said as he looked up at the ceiling with wet eyes. “They told me to do it. I even questioned them at the time and they told me it would just stop her from leaving. It’s not like I even considered anyone would get hurt. And thankfully no one did get hurt. Don’t get me wrong, I wish I could take it back. All of it. It was a mistake. I should have fixed it, but we never left here when it was just Ros and I… and when we all got back here I never had more than two seconds alone. Don’t forget I got in that vehicle with the rest of you.”

“Then why run away from HOME now? Why not just go back?” I asked with my hand on my forehead. My skin felt warm and my stomach sick, almost like I had the flu.

“I don’t want to die. They won’t even give me the chance to explain. As you may have noticed they don’t take kindly to what they consider traitors,” Penn said shifting around so he could see me better.

Owen got up and starting to pace by the door. He stopped and looked at Penn, “Another thing I don’t understand… why didn’t HOME come for us during the first few days we were here during the storm? We were easy targets.”

“I hadn’t told them we were here. The last time I reported I said we were still on the move. I bought us some time.”

“When was the last time you reported?” Dean asked trying to figure out the timeline of events.

“Before the storms… when you were all sleeping,” Penn said avoiding eye contact. It seemed as though he was embarrassed for having done it.

“Are there any other communication devices on my property?” I said nearly freaking out. Panic set in as I worried my cabin was filled with these devices.

“No, there isn’t,” he said glancing at Owen. If that was the only device he had, Owen had destroyed it. But that didn’t make us safe by any means.

“Who knows if any of this is even true. Would they really trust you that much to not even send one person here to check?” Dean asked looking down at Penn. He looked as pissed off as I felt.

“Yes they do.”

Dean ran his hand through his hair, “What are we going to do with him? Leave him here?”

“No, please! No!” Penn pleaded turning to make eye contact with Dean. He moved his body so fast he forgot his hands were tied together and hit his face on the floor. “I made too many mistakes, I didn’t follow protocol, they’ll kill me. I know it. Everything you think and feel about HOME is probably true!”

We couldn’t take him with. He couldn’t be trusted, and we’d never know if what he was telling us was the truth. It would be too big of a risk. Dean and Owen looked at each other and I wished I could have known what they were thinking at that exact moment.

“Here’s the thing,” Penn said trying to push himself up to a sitting position but failing. He couldn’t balance without the use of his hands. “I’m your best chance at finding Ryan. I can help you.”

Dean laughed.

“I can come and go as I please within their camps. There are things I can help with, like… I know where the Seattle camp is… roughly. I have no weapons—”

“But you said it yourself. If you don’t communicate with them, they’ll come looking for you,” Dean said with a self-satisfied grin on his face.

“There are spots we can use along the way. They are stationed around in case any of us ever
lose
our devices,” he said glancing at Owen. What he had really wanted to say was if any of their devices had ever been taken away. “You can hold a gun to my head while I make the call. I’ll strip naked so you can see I’m not bugged or anything. I’ll do whatever you want! Just please don’t leave me here to die.”

We all looked at one another. I wondered if they were thinking the same thing I was. That maybe he was the key to finding Ryan. That maybe we could use him somehow. Whether we liked it or not, he did have connections and if Ryan was in some kind of army camp, we’d never have a way to get to him. The only problem was eventually they would know Penn wasn’t on their side any more.

“I want to leave HOME behind me. For good. When I saw them shoot down Slade… well, I knew it then. I was done.”

“Then why were you trying to reach them during the night?” Owen asked as he looked out of the window. His expression looked as if he half expected to see a group from HOME walking up to the door with guns blazing.

Penn shook his head vigorously, “I was just trying to buy some more time so I could figure out what to do.”

“You know what I think?” Dean said getting down on the floor to get in his face. “I think you are a very well trained spy and you’ll say pretty much anything…
anything
to stay with us. You know exactly what to do and what to say to get what you want and stay where you need to be.”

It was Penn’s turn to laugh, but it was a weaker, less confident laugh. I could hear the fear in it. That part of him wasn’t lying. At least I was mostly sure of it. He was truly afraid of what HOME would do to him.

“Let’s leave it up to Ros, since you
betrayed
her
most
of all,” Dean said stressing his words as if they were daggers.

“Oh no! It’s not up to me!” I said standing up waving my hands out in front of me. “We decide together.”

Penn looked at me and my mind flashed back to the weak, dying person that had fallen either by chance or on purpose at my front door. Since he had been so close to dying, I believed it hadn’t been intentional. He must have been traveling back to HOME, ran out of food and water and not made it back. I didn’t want him to die then, and I still didn’t want him to die now. It was complicated. I couldn’t forgive him and I certainly couldn’t trust him, but I was alive, and I wasn’t trapped in HOME… yet. Even though I was angry beyond comprehension, I didn’t want him, or anyone for that matter, to die at the hands of anyone from HOME.

“I know where we can find a car. It’s close. We can get it and be on our way. I’ll tell HOME we are on the move, but I’ll say we are heading in a different direction than the one we actually go. They won’t come looking… until I give them the location. While I’m with you, they are holding back. They trust me.”

“How can you be sure of that?” I asked.

“Because as long as I report in and tell them your whereabouts they feel like they are still in control of the situation. At least for now. Which is why we should get going. I don’t know at what point they’ll realize I’ve gone rogue,” Penn said, his eyes red and puffy. I looked right into them and tried to search out the part of him that had told me about his dad and sister. That was the part of him I could trust the most if I could trust any part of him at all.

I took a deep breath hoping it would help me clear my head. Sienna was still mostly in shock. Her expression was blank. Dean was still fuming and so pissed off I swear actual smoke was coming out of his ears. He looked as though he could just rip Penn’s head right off with his bare hands and throw it into the fire. Owen was harder to read. I could tell he wasn’t happy with Penn and wanted nothing to do with him, but there was a weird look in his eye. I wondered if he also thought that Penn might be our only chance at finding Ryan.

“Dean… Owen… take him to get the car. And be careful, even tied up he might be able to disarm you,” I said and Penn looked at me for a brief second with a furrowed brow. Before I finished, I took a deep breath. I knew they were going to be angry with me for not having mentioned Penn’s ability to disarm and his gun training sooner. I cleared my throat, “He has had a lot of weapons training, and who knows what else. Don’t take your eyes off of him even for a second. But we need a car. If he safely gets you to the car and back here, we’ll take him with us. At least for the time being.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. We didn’t even need to discuss it. A car was definitely needed and if Penn could produce one that would be far better than us wandering around aimlessly trying to find one.