Finding Me: Book 1: All I've Ever Wanted (A New Adult Romance Series) (9 page)

Maddie Love

   It was a pretty humid day, all things considered. The temperature having reached above the 100's on the Fahrenheit scale, with the air itself feeling murky, like one was about to swim and had to do so to reach their destination, so saturated with moisture that it was a wonder anyone didn't simply emerge from outside drenched in anything more than just sweat. It was the sort of day that most people spent indoors, and indeed most people glad that they lived in a world that had devised air conditioning for the sole purpose of easing everyone's lives in this sort of weather. That's where the story starts, of course, and where Maddie Johnson, and Jordan Brett found  themselves. Indoor, comfortable around one another in the relative safety of one of the local department stores. The air was crisp, and cool, keeping everything fresh inside while the hellish heat outside raged on to make the world miserable in it's summer passing.

 Standing beside a row of various knickknacks, they stood beside one another, playful in their demeanor as they wore the clothing of the season. Maddie herself stood tall, and with a slender, petite build. Long legs reaching to longer abdomen, with her scarlet red hair reaching down past her shoulders as he looked to Jordan with those alluring sapphire eyes. Jordan of course could not help but stare back at her, that gaze the first thing he's noticed of her since they had first met, and in admittance to no one but himself, the reason for his affection towards Maddie. Still, she spoke, continuing on their playful discussion as she asked. "So tell me Jordan. What do you think we should do after this? We can't hang out in a store all day."

 Jordan simply shrugged his skinny shoulders and smirked back over her way. He himself stood tall, and just as slender though not with the dancers grace she had trained with. Blue eyes behind thin rimmed glasses looked back to her as he brought up one hand to brush through his short, curly brown hair. Tilting his head almost as if to think on her question fully now. "Well.. I suppose if we wanted to, we could go swimming later. Get some of this stink off of us and get outside."

"You just want to see me in a bikini, don't you?" teased Maddie, raising her brow towards Jordan as he went red in the face from embarrassment, the nerdiness within him coming out as he raised his hands to fend off the accusations while he smiled all the while. "No no no, nothing like that. I just thought with how hot it is today, you'd like to take a break outside thats all. Nothing like that."

 Maddie couldn't help but continue to smirk as she shook her head. Her shoulder length hair slapping against the side of her face as she turned and looked along the rows and rows of knickknacks that lined along the wall as Jordan continued to talk, changing the subject almost instantly as he leaned in closer towards her. The movement not escaping Maddie's sight as she leaned to the side somewhat, though not too far from the man he continued on. "Besides. Don't you have your audition tomorrow? I know that some representatives from "Dancing World" is out here, looking for talent. You need some relaxing to settle your nerves a little bit."

 Of course, those words brought back all sorts of conflicting emotions within her. On the one hand, she agreed with Jordan. A little bit of relaxation was good, and of which she was in desperate need of. But yet, on the other hand if she wasn't as good as, or better than, all of the other applicants that came out for this audition, she wouldn't win. She had to win. This was what she had been building up for since she was a little girl. All of the lessons, all of the practice, all of the aches and pains to improve and become the best is leading up to this moment to her she figures. She smiled a simple cautious smile, looking over towards Jordan through Sapphire eyes as she replied. "I've been working on it. I've been practicing for months. I'm nervous Jordan, you know that. But this is something that I really want. Something that I really need."

"But if you get the job Maddie, won't that mean you'll go away from here?" Jordan asked, almost in a quiet tone as he simply looked upon her.

 Maddie deadpanned somewhat, caught unprepared for his question as she simply smiled somewhat. Her eyes looking from the tall man that stood before her. Her friend since high school. The one person whom she's depended on for emotional support through the trials of her life. Her best friend, and confidant. She knew fully well Jordan's feelings towards her, and how he'd feel if she just packed up and left, but this was something that she needed to do after all. She truly did not know how she felt about Jordan. Love? She couldn't say fully. But she looked away as he did as well. The awkward silence filling the aisle that they stood in for the several moments that none of them said anything before Maddie turned to look upon him. Jordan's eyes downcast, the feelings she knew he felt was there, plain as day upon him. Jordan never was good at hiding his emotion, wearing his heart on his sleeve at every opportunity. She reached out. Patting her palm upon his bare elbow as she spoke, trying to cheer him up.

"Come on Jordan. What do you say we go get some swimming done huh? We can't sit in here all day. Maybe we can invite some other friends and hit up Chad's place. His room mates out of town for the week."

 That alone seemed to cheer him up as he turned and looked upon her with another smile. Nodding his head as he tilted his head towards the door "I think that would be pretty fun Maddie. Why don't we head on out for a while. You've got some relaxing to do."

 And so they went, their humors returning to them as they left the convenience of the heated store, and to the inferno hell outside that marked the summers day, the sun overhead beaming upon the earth. Uncaring of the pain and warmth it brought to all beneath. However, for the day at least, two people are happy with one another.

 Sometime later during the course of the next day, Maddie found herself awaiting at the audition room itself. She stood there with roughly a group of twenty other girls behind the curtain of a large rotunda like stage at the community theater building. Grouped together with others from her class that she's shared her goal and aspirations with who all felt the same as her, that this is a way of this town to live their dream, as well as other girls from out of town. Some of whom come from as far as the city over. All of them of course competing with one another for the same thing: To win the judges over outside who are judging their performances,

 The atmosphere inside the building was full of tension so thick it could be cut with a knife almost. Girls of all ages and varying strengths and skill were there, pushing and shoving one another to peek from behind the curtain to the girl who went before, watching as the judges looked from their seats solemnly, and casted their gaze to whomever was on the stage. Sending them home with either a no, promises of being called up at a later date, or for consideration. None however was asked to stay on. While the girls themselves stood around, joking with one another, being friendly and talkative, Maddie herself knew whole heartedly that the reason they were all there was as competition with one another, and that this audition would be cutthroat to the end.

 Still, her nervousness got the better of her as she peeked from behind the curtain as the smaller number of girls behind her pushed and strained against her. Watching the one who went before her. A lump growing in her throat as she swallowed it down, her nervousness growing with each movement that the dancer made. Her own doubts, and her own insecurities getting the best of her. Starting to wonder if she was good enough for this yet. Her eyes swaying to the rhythm and movement of her body with the music itself. However, luck would either be on her side, or misfortune on the side of the dancer she was admiring as she stumbled near the middle of her performance and nearly sent herself flying down upon the stage, her misstep echoing within the auditorium, causing the music to stop and a deafening silence to echo off of the walls as everyone held their breath. Everyone except the judges of course who simply shook their heads collectively, marking upon their clipboards as the imposing man within the center spoke next, the sound of his voice chasing away the silence as he yelled "Next."

 So Maddie walked out slowly upon bare feet. Her choice of attire being the same as she always wore when practicing in her studio. Black leggings that hugged along her petite form, with a tightened top that meshed with the bottoms and gave her a seamless silhouette. Nervous, but formal she moved as she walked to the center of the stage before the three judges. Two women, and a man in the center. All wearing glasses, their faces half hidden by clipboards as the older woman to the central male's left spoke up. "Name please."

"M-Maddie Johnson. Ma'am. Madeline Johnson." she corrected herself, choosing the formal version of her name over the informal, intending to make an impression first before she chose to dance.

"Ms. Johnson. You may proceed. You have two minutes." She said again, uncaring to the plight of Maddie as she nodded her head, and awaited the music to start. Slowly at first, she found herself within the rhythm shortly after. Her world slowly crumbling away as her senses focused like a knife upon the task at hand. Her body going slightly numb as she let her body remember the dance moves before her mind registered them. Not closing her eyes, but focusing instead as she lifted one foot after the other. Her lithe form seemingly weightless within the air as she moved in time to the steps she had learned, and the routines that were formalized in her training since early in her life. One, two, three, one two three, one foot above the other. Arms outstretched to slow her spin, the air rushing through her hair as the smell of her shampoo mingled with her sweat. Her features blurring with her body before her two minutes were up, and she heard the words to stop entering the world she created, bringing her back to reality.

 She stood there, posed in the last movement of her dance routine. Her breath shaking her form, expanding and contracting well her diaphram. Drenched in sweat, pooling down upon the floor beneath her as she slowly came back to the world at large. Her focus moving towards the judges as they deliberated. Sitting in front of her, leaning in on one another as they talked among each other. The sound of their voices silent, not echoing in the least. Maddie could not help but wonder if she had either done anything wrong, or what their choice would be. They looked neither excited, nor angry, and her heart sunk within her chest. Sure that she had blown her chance to win this. Her mind racing with the possibilities. Was she good enough? Was this the only opportunity that she'll ever have? Could she truly take rejection after this? Waiting for what felt like an eternity before the Man in the center slowly rose up from his seat to speak. The first time in the audition he had done so.

"We believe you exemplify what we're looking for Ms. Johnson. You're hired."

 Maddie gasped, tears welling up in her eyes as she looked, dumbfounded, towards him for a moment. Her mouth moving, but the words not coming to her as she fumbled her words within her mouth. Her brain shutting down, restarting, and shutting down once more. "I- I made it? I- I don't know what to say. Oh my god. Oh my god thank you. I won't let you down. I swear. I won't." she continued on. Nearly jumping upon her bare feet in a bounce, her excitement building up within her faster, and faster. Welling to the point of nearly exploding, wanting to leap off of the stage to hug them all. "Oh my god. I got to go home. I got to prepare to leave." She gasped, looking up towards them all as she asked. "When do I leave? Where do I go?"

"Tonight. We can purchase you a ticket and get you to Chicago tonight."

"T-tonight?" She asked, the answer striking her nearly dumbfounded.

"Yes. Tonight." The man simply replied. Nodding his head.

"I don't know if I can leave tonight.. It all seems so sudden." Maddie replied, her jaw simply hanging open still.

"Either tonight. Or we find someone else. We don't have time to prepare with the shows we produce. This isn't up for negotiation."

 It still struck Maddie at the suddenness of the moving that she needs to do practically at the drop of a hat. But this was the chance of a lifetime, she reasoned. She passed. All of her hard work. All of her dedication. All of it led up to this very moment, and she needed to take this opportunity, because it would never come to her again she reasoned. Nodding her head as she replied. Now no longer nervous, or dumbfounded in her train of thought, all of which was replaced with her resolve now to continue on. This was her opportunity, and she was not going to lose it. "Of course sir. Give me the address, and that ticket and I can leave in the next few hours. I just need to go home and pack and I'll be ready to leave."

"Excellent. Come on down here Ms. Johnson."

 And so she went down. Her head held high.

 The height of surprise early on had numbed her to the realities of her situation. Basking in jealous admiration, she couldn't help but consider herself lucky in fortune as she returned to the back room where the other girls had been and had watched her performance. She could almost feel them looking at her. Their stares a mixture of admiration, jealousy, envy, anger, and even on some level, hatred. To the other girls, no doubt, they view her as competition that has to be eliminated, and who needs to be the standard to surpass. All of them collectively thinking at the same time, though unaware they were doing so, that if they did better than her, the judges in the seats would recall her, and give that ticket to them to take her place instead. After all, there were still near 30 girls who needed to be seen. How could they possibly know if she was exactly the one that should have been chosen?