Finity's End - a Union-Alliance Novel (9 page)

Observers who had jobs besides games might have noticed too, and know that
Finity's
seniormost juniors had just gotten a piece of not-too-good news on some matter. That could start rumors on the stock exchange. If it ricocheted to the Old Man, the junior crew captain would hear about it.

The junior crew, meanwhile, didn't break out in complaints, just looked somberly at him—waiting for the word, the junior-official position from him, on a situation that had just suddenly cast a far more uncertain light not only on their liberty in this port, but on their whole way of working with one another.

"Well," JR said to his crew, moderately and reasonably, he thought, and trying to put a cheerful face on the circumstances, "—this should be interesting."

"He's a stationer," was the first thing out of Lyra's mouth.

"He may be," JR said, "but you heard the word. If it's true, we've got him." He tossed a money card at Bucklin and got up. "Handle the tab. I've got to talk to the Old Man.

Rain blasted down. The clean-suits were plastered to their bodies as they hurried down a scarcely existent path, and Fletcher's breath came short. The light-headedness he suffered said he was needing to change a cylinder, but he didn't want to stop for that, with the lightning ripping through the clouds and the rain making everything slippery. They were already going to be late getting back, and he knew their truancy was beyond hiding.

He had to get Bianca back safely. He had to think of what to say, what to do to protect himself
and
her reputation; all the while his breaths gave him less and less oxygen even to know where he was putting his feet.

His head was pounding. He slipped. Caught himself against a low limb and tried to slow his breathing so he could get
something
through the cylinders.

"What's the matter?" Bianca wanted to know. "Are you out?"

"Yeah." He managed breath enough to answer, but his head was still swimming. He had to change out. The rules said—they were posted everywhere—advise your partner if you felt yourself get light-headed: if you were alone, shoot off the locator beeper you weren't supposed to use in anything but life and death emergency. But they weren't to that point. If he hadn't been a total fool. A hand against his thigh-pocket advised him he was all right, he'd replaced the last one—when? Just yesterday?

"Need one?" Bianca's voice was anxious.

"Got my spares. Let's just get there. Don't want to be logged any later than we are." He kept moving to push a little more out of the cylinders he was using: you could do that if you got your breathing down.

"They're gone!" Bianca said, then, looking around, and for a second his muddled brain didn't know what she was talking about. "I didn't see them leave."

He hadn't seen Melody and Patch go, either. Desertion wasn't like them. But downer brains grew distracted with the spring. Did, even on the station… and was this it? he asked himself. Was it the time they
would
go, and had they left him? Maybe for good? Or were they just scared of the storm?

The lightning flickered hazard above their heads…
danger, danger, danger
, a strobe light would say on station. It said the same here, to his jangled nerves. He walked, lightheaded and telling himself he could make it further without stopping for a change—at least get them past the place where the trail looped near the river:
that
was what scared him, the chance of being stranded or having to wade. The tapes they'd had to watch on what the monsoon rains did when they fell chased images through his head, of washouts, trees toppling, the land whited out in rain.

Melody and Patch, he said to himself, must have sought shelter. There were always old burrows on the hillsides, and hisa grew afraid when the light faded. When Great Sun waned, there was no place for His children but inside, safe and warm and dry.

Good advice for humans, too, but they daren't bed down anywhere but at the Base. He heard his heart beating a cadence in his ears as, through the last edge of the woods and the gray haze of rain, he saw the fields and the frames.

"We'll make it," he gasped

"But we're late," Bianca moaned. "Oh,
God
, we're late!"

They were fools. And Bianca was right, they were going to catch it, catch it, catch it.

They reached where he'd been working—close to there, at any rate. He'd left a power saw up on the ridge, and if he didn't have it when he checked in, he'd catch hell for that, too.

"Keep going!" he said to her. "I'll catch up!" And when she started to protest he shouted at her: "I left my
saw
up there. I'll catch up!"

She believed him, but she was arguing about the failing cylinder he'd complained of, about how he was already short, and he couldn't run. "Change cylinders!" she said, and held onto him until he agreed and got his single spare out of his pocket.

Rain was pouring down on them and you weren't ever supposed to get the cylinders wet, even if they had a protective shell. You got them out of the paper they were in and all you had to do was shove them in, but you had to keep your head and eject one and replace one, and then go for the other one. You weren't supposed to run out of both cylinders at the same time, but he realized he'd been close to it, and light-headed, as witness, he thought, the quality of his decisions of the last few minutes.

Bianca tried to help his fumbling fingers, and opened the packet on one cylinder of little beads. She was stripping it fast to hand it to him and he ejected one of his.

Her tug on the packet spun the cylinder out of her wet hands and she cried out in dismay. It landed in water, with its end open. Ruined. In the mask, it would have survived a dunking. Not outside it.

And he was on one depleted cylinder, with his head spinning.

"All right, all right," he tried to tell her.

"I've got mine," she said, and got out one of her spares, and opened it while he sucked in hard and held his breaths quiet, waiting for her to get it right, this time, and give him air enough to breathe.

She got it unwrapped and to his hand this time. Shielding the end from the rain, he shoved it in, then drew fast, quick breaths to get the chemistry started.

Then the slow seep of rational thought into his brain told him first that it was working, and second, that they'd had a close call.

He let her give him the second cylinder, then: they still had one in reserve, hers. You could lend a cylinder back and forth if bad came to worse, but you
never
let both go out together.

He was all right and he'd cut it damned close.

"Fletcher?" Bianca said. "I'm going with you. We're down to three. Don't argue with me!"

"It's all right, it's all right." He pocketed the wrappers: you had to turn them in to get new ones, or you filled out forms forever and they charged you with trashing. Same with the ruined cylinder. He was going to hear about it. It was going on his record.

"Just leave the saw" she pleaded with him. "Say we were scared of the lightning."

It was half a bright idea.

"We were late because of the cylinders," he said, with a better one, "and we can still pick up the saw. Come on."

She picked up on the idea, willingly. She went with him down the side of one huge frame to where he'd been cutting brush. They couldn't get wetter. The lightning hadn't gotten worse.

It was maybe ten minutes along the curve of a hill to where he'd left the saw in the fork of a tree. Safe, Waterproof.

But it wasn't there.

For a moment, he doubted it was the right tree. He stood a moment in confusion, concluding that someone had gotten it, that it might have been—God help him—a curious downer—a thought that scared him. But it most likely was Sandy Galbraith, who'd been working not in sight of him, but at least knowing where he was.

If it was
Sandy
checking on him and if she'd found the saw but not him, she'd have been in a bad position of having to turn him in or having to explain why she had his equipment.

If she'd been half smart and not a damn prig, she'd have left the saw where it was and pretended she didn't see anything unless she needed to remember.

Damn.

"
Sandy
probably got it," he said, and that meant they were later and he had to come up with a story for the missing saw, too.

He'd gone to look for Bianca because of the rain coming, that was it.

"Look," he said, as lightning whitened the brush, and they started slogging back the ten minute walk they'd come out of the way already. "I'm going to catch hell if somebody turned it in. What happened was, I knew you were by the river, and I was worried about the rain, and I ran down there to warn you, and that was why I left the saw."

She was keeping up with him, walking hard, and didn't answer. Maybe she didn't like lying to the authorities. Maybe she was mad at him. She had a right to be.

"I know, I know," he said. "I don't want to lie, either, but I didn't plan on the rainstorm, all right?" That she didn't leap at the chance to defend him made him—not mad. Upset—because of the cascade of stupid things that had gone wrong.

Maybe he'd spent too much time with psychs in his life, but he could say 'displacement' with the best psych that was out there: he and the psychs had talked a lot about his 'displacement.' And he was having a lot of displacement right now, to the extent that if he really, really had the chance to pound hell out of somebody, he would. He was upset, short of breath, and as they slogged through the mud washing from the sides of the frame, and on to the road, which was a boggy mess, he didn't know whether Bianca was mad at him or not. They didn't have any breath left to talk. They just walked, until they were on the approach to the domes.

"Remember what you've got to say," he said on great, ragged breaths. "If we've got the same story they'll have to believe us. I left the saw to go after you and I was running low on the cylinders and we were taking it slow coming back so we'd save the cylinders so as not to run without a spare apiece." They didn't let them have any more than a spare set, but they were supposed to come back to the Base immediately if they were out without a spare. You were supposed to stick with your buddy so you could share a set if you had to. And not run. That part was important. That was the core of the excuse. "Got it?"

"Yes," she said, out of breath.

The domes were close now, veiled in rain as the doors of the admin dome opened and a figure came out toward them.

Deep trouble, he thought. Administration knew. It was his fault.

JR stepped off the slow-moving ped-cab in front of number 5 Blue Dock, where a gantry with skeins of lines and a lighted ship-status sign was the only evidence of
Finity's
presence the other side of the station wall. Customs was on duty, a single bored agent at a lonely kiosk who looked up as he came through the gate. Customs manned such a kiosk in front of limp rope lines at every ship at dock—and, at Pell, ignored most everything on a crew activity level.

The flash of a passport at the stand, a quick match of fingerprints on a plate, and he made his way up the ramp, past the stationside airlock and into the yellow ribbed gullet of the short access tube. The airlock inside took a fast assessment of the pressure gradient between ship and station and, as it cycled, flashed numbers and the current sparse gossip at him
…I'm moving to the DarkStar—Cynthia D
. Someone had met up with someone interesting, gone off and advised the duty staff of the fact she wasn't where she'd first checked in.

Finity
personnel didn't do much of that.

Hadn't done much of it. Correction.

It was in a lingering sense of uncertainty that he walked out of the airlock and into the lower corridor of his ship at dock. The Ops office door was open, casting light onto the tiles outside, a handful of seniors maintaining the systems that stayed live during dock, and whatever was under test at the moment. JR put his head in, asked the Old Man's whereabouts.

The senior captain
was
aboard, was in his office, was at work, would see him.

He went ahead, down the short corridor past Cargo and by the lift into Administrative. Senior captains' territory. Offices, and the four captains' residences in B deck, directly above, all arranged to be useable during dock, when the passenger ring was locked down.

It was a moment for serious second thoughts, even with honest administrative business on his mind. Business he'd gotten by scuttlebutt, not official channels.

He was damned mad. He realized that about the time he reached the point of no retreat. He was just damned mad. He knew James Robert Sr. would have policy as well as personal reasons for what he'd done. He even knew in large part what the policy decisions were.

But the result had landed on
his
section.

He signaled his presence, walked in at the invitation to do so, stood at easy attention until the Old Man switched off a bank of displays in the dimly lit office and acknowledged him by powering his chair to face him.

"Sir," JR said. "I've just heard that Fletcher's coming in. Is that official?"

The light came from the side of the Old Man's face, from displays still lit. The expression time had set on that countenance gave nothing away. The Old Man's eyes were the reliable giveaway, dark, and alive, and going through at least several thoughts before the sere, thin lips expressed any single opinion.

"Is it on the station news," James Robert asked, "or how did we reach this conclusion?"

"Sir, it came on two feet and I came over here stat."

"Sit down."

JR settled gingerly into a vacant console chair.

The silence continued a moment.

"So," James Robert said, "I gather this provokes concern. Or what
is
your concern about it?"

"He's in my command." He picked every word carefully. "I think I should be concerned."

"In what way?"

"That we may have difficulty assigning him."

"Is
that
your concern?"

"The integrity of my command is a concern. So I came here to find out the particulars of the situation before I get questions."

Again the long silence, in which he had time to measure his concerns against James Robert's concerns, and James Robert's demands against him and a very small rank of juniors.

James Robert's grand-nephew, Fletcher was. So was he.

James Robert's unfinished business, Fletcher was. James Robert said there were new rules, the new Old Manual they'd been handed, and about which the junior crew was already putting heads together and wondering.

"The particulars are," James Robert said, "that a member of this crew will join us at board call. He'll have the same duties as any new junior, insofar as you can find him suitable training. And yes, you
are
responsible for him. On this voyage, with the press of other duties, I have no time to be a shepherd
or
a counselor to anyone. In a certain measure, I shouldn't be. He's not more special than the rest of you. And you're in charge."

"Yes, sir" Same duties as a new junior. A stationer
had
no skills. His crew, already unsettled by a change in the Rules, was now to be unsettled by the news. "I'll do what I can, sir."

"He's
not
a stationer," James Robert said directly and with, JR was sure, full knowledge what the complaints would be. "This ship has lost a generation, Jamie. We have nothing from those years. We've lost too many. I considered whether we dared leave him—and no, I will
not
leave one of our own to another round with a stationer judicial system. We had the chance, perhaps one chance, a favor owed. I collected. We are
also
out from under the 14.5 million credit claim for a Pell station-share."

"Yes, sir." Clearly things had gone on beyond his comprehension. He didn't know what kind of an agreement might have hammered his cousin loose from Pell's courts. He understood that, along with all other Rules, the situation with Pell might have changed.

"So how far has the rumor spread?" James Robert asked him.

On Jeremy's two feet? Counting the conspicuous dress? "I think the rumor is traveling, sir, at least among the crew. It came to me and I came here. Others might know by now. I'd be surprised if they didn't."

"Jeremy."

"Yes, sir."

"Let a crew liberty without a five-hour check-in and they think the universe has changed. Drunken on the docks, I take it, when this news met you."

"No, sir. Fruit juice in a vid parlor."

The Old Man could laugh. It started as a disturbance in the lines near his eyes and traveled slowly to the edges of the mouth. Just the edges. And faded again.

"Life and death, junior captain. Ultimately all decisions are life and death. It's on your watch. Do you have any objections? Say them now."

"Yes, sir," he said somberly. "I understand that it's on my watch."

"The generations were broken," James Robert said. "From my generation to yours there was birth and death. There was a continuity—and it's broken.
I want that restored
, Jamie."

"Yes, sir," he said.

"You still haven't a chart, have you?"

"Sir?"

"You're in deep space without a chart. We didn't entirely get you home."

He understood that the Old Man was speaking figuratively, this business about charts, about deep space, expressions which might have been current in the Old Man's youth, a century and more ago.

"Too much war," James Robert said. The man who, himself, had begun the War, talked about charts and coming home. About charts for a new situation, JR guessed. But home? Where was that, except the ship?

The Old Man got up and he got up. Then the Old Man, still taller than most of them, set his hand on his shoulder, a touch he hadn't felt since he was, what?

Ten. The day his mother had died—along with half of
Finity's
crew.

"Too many dead," the Old Man said. "You'll
not
crew this ship with hire-ons when you command her. You'll run short-handed, you'll marry spacers in, but you'll never let hire-ons sit station on this ship, hear me, Jamie?"

The Old Man's grip was still hard. There was still fire in him. He still could send that fire into what he touched. It trembled through his nerves. "Yes, sir," he said faintly, intimately, as the Old Man dealt with him.

"I've given you one of your cousins back. I've agreed to Quen's damned ship-building. It was
time
to agree. It's time to do different things. Time for you, too. You're young yet. You—and this lost cousin of ours—will see things and make choices far beyond my century and a half."

"Yes, sir." He didn't know what the Old Man was aiming at with this talk of crewing the ship, and building ships for Quen of Pell. But not understanding James Robert was nothing new. Even
Madison
failed to know what was on the Old Man's mind, sometimes, and damned sure their enemies had misjudged what James Robert would do next, or what his resources were.

"Making peace," the Old Man said, "isn't signing treaties. It's getting on with life. It's making things
work
, and not finding excuses for living in the past. Time to get on with life, Jamie."

The Old Man asked, and the crew performed. It wasn't love. It was Family. And Family forever included that gaping, aching blank where a generation had failed to be born and half of them who were born had died. It was the Old Man reaching out across those years of conflict and training for conflict—and saying to their generation, Make peace.

Make peace.

God, with what? With a station obsessed with games and dinosaurs? With
Union
more unpredictable as an ally than it had been as an enemy?

That prospect seemed suddenly terrifying in its unknowns, more so than the War that had grown familiar as an old suit of clothes. The universe, like his whole generation, was in fragments and ruin.

And the Old Man said, without saying a word,
Do this new thing, Jamie. Go into this peace and do something different than you've ever imagined in the day you command
.

He was back on that cliff again. Jump off, was James Robert's clear advice. Try something different than he'd ever known.

And to start the process, of all chancy gifts, the Old Man gave him the new Old Rules and a rescued cousin who wasn't any damn
use
to the ship except the bare fact that getting Fletcher back closed books, saved the Name, prevented another disaster in Pell courts.

And maybe redeemed a promise, a loose end the Old Man had left hanging. Francesca herself had shattered, lost herself in a fantasy of drugs. But she'd kept her kid alive and under her guardianship, always believing, by that one act, that they'd come back.

Now they had. Maybe that was what the Old Man was saying, his message to Pell, to everyone around them.

They'd come back. They'd kept the ship alive. They'd survived the War. And no one had ever believed they'd do that much.