Fire Country (21 page)

Circ stares at me.
I’m sorry, Circ
, I say.
I don’t wanna, but I don’t know what else to do. If there’s any other way, please tell me.

He winks, as if to say,
I understand.

I cry.

T
he bells are ringing from every watchtower.

The winds have been whipping themselves into a frenzy all morning, dumping grit and sand int
o the Learning Hut while we sit cross-legged, trying to listen to whatever gibberish Teacher Mas is telling us.

When the bells start clanging wildly, we all suspect there’s a full-fledged sandstorm a
-coming. I follow the stampede out the door, using my pointy elbows to ward off anyone who tries to jostle me amidst the confusion.

Right away I know it ain’t
a sandstorm. Hunters are everywhere, rushing ’bout, strapping on thick, leather shirts and carrying blades, spears, and bows. We’re under attack. By what or who, I don’t know.

Hawk’s just finished talking to one of the Hunters, and starts to rush off, but I sprin
t at an angle, catch up to him, grab his arm. “Let go of me! I gotta get ready!” he says, twisting away.

I squeeze harder, surprised at myself. “Tell me what’s going on,” I demand.

His eyes are wild. Not with anger, but with urgency. “They’re comin’,” he says. “The Glassies are comin’.” My fingers go numb and he pulls away, sprints off to prepare. Even the Youngling Hunters’ll be a part of this fight.

The villagers are everywhere, running amok, parents trying to find their children, brothers trying to find their sisters, Hunters going to wherever they’ve been commanded to go. The Lodge. Or the guard towers. Or out into the desert to fight.

I race through the village, instinctively veering toward our hut. But then my mind races ahead of my body, pictures what’ll happen. My father’ll lock us in for our safety, go off to join the Hunters. I’ll be stuck inside with my thoughts, the walls closing in ’round me, no way to escape them. Not today.

I stop, head in the opposite direction, toward the edge of the village that faces Confinement and ice country. No one’s running in that direction. The Hunters
are all going the other way, ’cause that’s where the Glassies are attacking from, taking the quickest route possible, direct from the Glass City to here. Soon I’m all alone, rushing past tents that are sealed up tight, full of scared women and children whose lives are dependent on the Hunters’ ability to once again hold off the mysterious Glassies, who, for some unknown reason, seem determined to wipe us off the face of fire country.

Even the guard towers on this side are abandoned, the guards called to the front lines with everyone else.
I slip out of the village, beyond the border tents. My father’ll be grizzing himself right ’bout now. His precious Pre-Bearer is missing. What if I die? What if I get hurt and can’t Bear his grandchildren, fulfill my duty under the Law? What then? The thought makes me happier’n anything has in a while.

I skirt along the edge of the village, feeling reckless and dangerous and so out of control that I start to feel
in
control. More in control’n I’ve felt in a long time. Since Circ’s death I’ve just been bobbing along, like a dead fly in the watering hole, letting the wind and ripples take me wherever they choose.

Not today. Today
I
choose.

As if in anticipation of the impending battle, the wind swirls, so excited that it can’t decide on a single direction to blow in. Off in the desert, mini-dust-devils rise up and spin themselves in h
aphazard circles, flattening the dry pricklers and last remaining stalks of brittle scrubgrass. Despite the dust in the air, I press onward, shielding my eyes with a hand, both from the sun and the sand.

When I’m more’n halfway ’
round the village, cries of death rise up.

I pick up my pace, determined to see the battle in all its gruesome glory. I’m full of more energy’n I’ve had in a long time, and I’m almost scared of what I might do when I get to the other side of the border tents, when I see what’s happening. All that pent up energy’s gotta find an outlet.

I’ve done plenty of knocky things ’fore, like jumping into a Killer/Hunter fight or purposely getting sent to Confinement. Maybe I’ll just join the fight with the Glassies, I don’t know. I feel so alive, like I could do anything, score a goal in feetball without falling over, kill a tug with my bare hands, run to Confinement and break Raja out. Anything.

I’m almost to the front gate of the v
illage, cries of war and mayhem just in front of me, sending shivers and quivers of energy through my whole invincible skeleton-like body—when I trip. I’m not so invincible after all. I’m running so hard that I literally go flying, completely airborne and flapping my arms.

Oh no!
Here we go again. I’ve just recovered from a broken wrist and I’m ’bout to break a whole lot more on the hard, cracked earth.

Powerful arms catch me in midair, pull me down, set me back on my feet.

Oh how I want to believe it—can’t believe it—want to—want to—please let it be him. The only one who’s ever caught me ’fore—besides my father, who I don’t count—so many times ’fore, is Circ. My hero. My friend. Not dead. Just a mistake, a misunderstanding. He’s saved me again.

It’s not Circ.

Circ burned on the pylon, sent to the stars.

The arms are too thin. Strong, yeah, but thin, too, almost like a girl’s. Not
a
girl’s. Lara’s.

She’s looking at me like I’m wooloo, and when I see her I look at her the same way. “What the scorch?” I say. “Lara? What are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she says.

“I was, uh…I don’t know. Thanks for catching me. You’re really strong.” It’s the understatement of the year. With her buzzed head, tightly set jaw, and tight cut-off shirt, she looks exactly the way I was feeling when my two left feet got in the way of my glory. Invincible.

“No problem.”

The deep bellows of men at war roar
past us, colliding with the wind, which has managed to unite its swirls into a pressing gale force that throws my hair back into my face. I push it away, wondering what I’m doing out here.

I don’t know what to say. “
We should, uh, get back, right?”

“Wrong,” Lara says. “I think you’re out here for the same reason I am.”

I snap my eyes shut as a smattering of sand whips past. When I reopen them Lara’s giving me one of those looks I grew so familiar with a couple full moons ago. “Don’t start with all that ‘There’s another way,’ blaze. All we’re gonna get out here is a trip to the burner.”

“Alright then. I’ll see you later.” Lara strides off. As I contemplate what she said, a bramb
leweed flies at my head and glances off my forearm when I throw up my arms to protect myself. One of its gnarled branches slashes my arm, cutting it deep, spilling my blood. The sharp pain of the wound sharpens my thoughts. The answer to the question
Why am I out here?
suddenly seems obvious. ’Cause I want to be. I don’t wanna be what everyone thinks I should be, someone’s call, a Bearer, a
breeder
. I wanna be more. I wanna stand up and do something. Not huddle helplessly with the women and children while the men give their lives to protect us. The last time I did something this wooloo—with the Killers—it was to protect Circ, which wasn’t a choice. This time it’s a conscious decision to act. My choice, even if it kills me.

I race after Lara, being careful not to trip again. She’s walking slow, almost as if she…

“Knew you’d come,” she says as I pull astride. “Like me, it’s in your blood to be different.” I say nothing, just match the increased speed of her steps.

We’re going to fight.

~~~

Maybe it wasn’t such a good decision. We’re on the edge of the village, watching men die.

The Glassies are winning, their fire sticks intermittently booming, their chariots blazing in a swarm of fire, moving so fast it’s like they have the power of hundreds of Killers’ legs inside them. Their skin is as pale as the white sands of southern fire country, bleached, rather’n darkened by the sun. They are a curious people. A curious people who want to kill us. Sun goddess save us all.

I see Hawk amidst a
large group of Hunters that’ve managed to stay organized, shooting pointers as a collective group, killing anything in sight. But they won’t last. There are too many Glassies.

“We have to go
now or it’ll be over before we get there,” Lara says.

Which might not be a bad thing
, I think. “We don’t have any weapons,” I point out, hoping I’ve found a way to change her mind.

She reaches behind her and extracts a pair of twin blades, as long as my forearm and sharper’n a Killer fang. “Take one,” she says.

I do, gulping as I feel the sun-heated metal of the hilt against my palm. “Lara, are you sure…?”

“You can do this,” she says, gripping my shoulder i
n one hand and her knife in t’other. She holds it as easily as a Bearer holds her baby. Me, I feel like the blade is as awkward as a tent pole.

I tak
e a deep breath, my legs wobbling like they’re made of water. All energy’s been sucked from them, from my arms. It’s the strongest wind of the season, almost knocking me off my feet with each gust. This is no game, no daydreamed conversation with a prickler named Perry. This is real. The only way I can cope is to pretend.

I picture Circ on the field of battle, majestic and graceful, sweeping his blade like a dance, protecting other Hunters with every swing. The Glassies close in on him, one from the front, one from behind. He’s helplessly outnumbered. Only I can save him.

“Let’s go,” I say, digging my heel into the dust.

Lara smiles. “Now!” she cries. We race off together, two girls in a desert of men. Actually, more like one and a h
alf girls. Guess who’s the half.

We’re halfway to the battle. It’s all happening too fast—too searin’ fast—and I can’t hold the daydream.
Scorch, I can barely hold my blade, which is wavering in my grasp. I’m more likely to impale myself on it than one of the Glassies.

Circ vanishes, gone back to the land of the gods. A fire stick booms and a Hunter drops dead, red all over his chest. The Hunter archers unleash a flurry of
pointers and a chariot full of Glassies crashes, pointers sticking out every which way from their skin.

Too fast.

The wind swirls, gusts, unites, threatens.

The sandstorm hits like a tug stampede.

If
you ain’t never seen a winter sandstorm, consider yourself lucky.

Surviving a sandstorm is more luck’n skill. But when your people’ve been doing it for centuries, you’ve at least got a fighting chance. The Glassies? Not so much.

Lara grabs my blade, secures it to her leather belt, and in two seconds flat, the air goes from having an occasional burst of sand to being
full
of sand. And in those two seconds, me and Lara do three things, like we’ve been taught a million times, from Totter to Youngling.

First, we hold our breaths and drop. This is crucial, especially when every instinct is telling you to stay on your feet, to fight through the wind and the sand. To drop is to admit defeat. Not in a sandstorm. Remaining upright just quickens your death. You can’t outrun a sandstorm—the sooner you realize that the better.

Second, we curl up in a ball, throw our hands and arms over our faces—which makes me glad Lara took my blade, ’cause I’d probably have impaled myself—continue to hold our breath. To breathe is to die. The sand’ll get in every nook and cranny—that’s inevitable. But by breathing you’re inviting it in. The only issue is that you don’t know how long the sandstorm’s gonna last. It could be thirty seconds, or way longer. If it’s much longer, you hafta do more’n just hold your breath.

So third, we stuff our heads into the top of our dresses. Well, in Lara’s case it’s a boy’s shirt, but you get what I mean. Our clothes are over our heads, which creates a small breathing space. It won’t last forever, but it’ll keep us going for a few
moments, maybe more.

I can’t see Lara, ’
cause my eyes are closed and my head’s stuffed in my dress, but I know she’s doing the same. The bare parts of my arms and legs are getting stung over and over again by the hordes of sand that batter us like bee stingers. I can almost feel it chipping away pieces of my skin, shaving it all off until I’ll really be Skeleton-Girl, a set of walking, talking bones.

S
oon though, the pain subsides ’cause my skin’s got a layer of sand so thick it’s like tug leather, protecting me from the second wave of sand. I take breath after breath, slow and deep, not panicking. Even so, each breath feels more strained’n the last, like I want more air’n my shirt’s got left. Time ain’t on my side, that’s for sure. If the storm don’t end soon, I’m a goner, no better’n the Glassies.

I take a breath, my lungs aching for more. The next breath’s even less satisfying. I can still feel the wind lapping against my body, but I can’t tell if there’s sand in it. My final breath is as deep as I can make it, sucking as much of the life-giving air into my lungs as I can. I hold it, hold it, hold it, start to feel dizzy. If I wasn’t already on the ground, I’d probably faint.

I can’t hold it, not one second longer. I hold it another second. Then one more. Maybe a third, I don’t know, time is moving so slow right now.

I pop my head out of
my dress, gasp at the gritty air, take everything in, air and dust and wind, my lungs burning. The storm’s over, and although the air’s far from clean, it’s also far from deadly. Lara’s head is still in her boy’s shirt. She’s not taking any chances and apparently she can hold her breath a lot longer’n me. I tap what I think is her shoulder—she’s so covered in sand it’s hard to tell—and she comes up, poking her head out like a turtle.

“It’s okay,” I say.

Together, we look ’round. The sand is uneven, full of human-size mounds of sand. The dead and the living. But which is which? Some of the humps start to rise up, emerging from the sand like a child’s monsters, crusted with sand and looking less human’n creature. Although the faces are dusty, the brown sun-kissed skin shows us just who survived the storm. The Hunters. There’s not a single pale-white face among the living, not that I can tell, but I’m not ’bout to stick ’round to take a count, and neither is Lara.

“
We need to get the burn out of here!” Lara says.

I’m with her
there. ’Fore anyone notices our presence, we dash back to the village.

~~~

That sandstorm saved a lot of lives. The Hunters. Lara’s and mine. Probably everyone’s in the village. The first of the season. Short, but a real doozy. It got every last one of those fire-stick-wielding Glassies. They burned their bodies in a separate pile to our dead ones.

I feel Circ’s hand in the storm.

Lara and me went straight to the watering hole and got cleaned up, and then snuck into the crowds when people started emerging from their huts. When she saw me, my mother squeezed me like she was a Totter and I was her tug-stuffed doll. I told her I couldn’t make it home from Learning fast enough, and ended up hiding out in a different hut with Lara. Her eyes told me she didn’t believe me, but she didn’t push it.

My father shoulda
been thanking the sun goddess for sending that storm, but instead he was mad at me for not getting home in time, and at the Glassies for attacking, and at the dead Hunters for not surviving. Same ol’, same ol’.

The Greynotes have been hush hush about the whole thing. The only announcement they made was that we woulda won the battle anyway, if not for the sandstorm, but I saw what I saw. They were dead in the sand. Deader’n dead. Vulture meat. It’s as plain as day to me, but to the rest of the folk who were hiding in the huts, they’ll believe anything the Greynotes tell them. But the Greynotes can have their secrets.

The only thing that’s certain: the Glassies’ll be back. And the next time we won’t have a sandstorm to save us.

Lara’s more excited ’
bout the whole thing’n I am. It’s been a full moon since it happened and she’s still going on and on like it was yesterday.

“It was like fate, Sie,” she says.

I got too much on my mind to be excited about much of anything. I turned sixteen yesterday, which is just my luck. If I’d been born a little over a full moon later, I coulda turned sixteen and then waited six full moons ’fore the next Call. Instead, my Call’ll be at the next full moon.

“It was stupid, is what it was,” I say.

“Come on, you know that’s not true. There was a buzz running through your blood just like mine. I saw it in your eyes before you tripped.” She laughs.

“Thanks for the reminder,” I say.

“Would you have used that knife on one of the Glassies if that storm didn’t hit?” she asks.

“I ain’t talking ’
bout this,” I say, scooping a shovelful of blaze. I was daydreaming in Learning again. Lara agreed to keep me company while I sweat it out.

“I would have,” she says
from the edge of the pit. She’s perched like a raven on a prickler bough. “I would’ve jumped on a chariot, stuck my blade right between one of their ribs.”

“They woulda
shot you with those fire sticks first,” I say.

“I would’ve been too fast,” she says. “Just a blur. Sear that sandstorm for wasting our big chance!”

I drop my shovel in a pile of blaze, glare at her. “You know what? You’re wooloo! Completely out of your mind, one hundred percent, grade-A tug wooloo.” She stares at me, but I’m not done. I’m too hot, too tired, too searin’ broken after Circ. “There’s a wooloo farm with your name on it. I think when you got all that muscle you lost half your brain. No, more’n half. Three quarters. You woulda died out there, just like me. That sandstorm saved both of our worthless, Pre-Bearer lives, and you know it!”

When I finally finish my rant, I’m breathing heavy and my muscles are all clenched up. The sun’s beating on me like always, but it feels like it’s right on top of me, just hammering away at my skull. Lara’s mouth is open, shocked. I can almost see the wheels turning in her one-quarter brain, calculating the odds that she’ll ever speak to me again. Her mouth closes. The solution? Zero.

Then, in the unlikeliest of responses, she breaks into a huge smile. “Sie, you know what? That was one of the funniest rants I ever heard in my life. We are one and the same, you and I, only I’d figure you’re more likely to get yourself in trouble with that mouth of yours than I ever would. Now, what in the scorch is eating you? There’s got to be something.”

I blink. “Uh.”

“Come on, Sie. Out with it. Something’s behind that mouth of yours, and I want to know exactly what.”

Okay. Here goes. “I turned sixteen,” I say, turning away from her, my feet sinking into the mush.

She laughs. “Is that all? I turned sixteen a full moon ago. That’s one thing you can’t stop, Sie—time. I’d rather jump in front of a hurd of tug than hafta try to halt the days from ticking past.”

She’s already sixteen. I didn’t even realize it. I mean, I was pretty sure we’
d be in the same Call, but I’d never confirmed it, never thought to. Why is she not bothered by it? In a full moon we’ll both be sitting there, waiting for the name. The name of the guy we’ll be Bearing children with. Not in a few years, but like, later that day. Well, not Bearing them exactly, but making them, or creating them, or doing whatever it is we’re s’posed to do. And from what Veeva says, there’s no way ’round it. You gotta do it and you gotta do it naked. I’ve confirmed it about ten times with her. Can I keep my clothes on? Do I hafta see his…
prickler
? Her advice: “Wait till it’s dark as scorch and make it quick. In and out. You might e’en like it. I did.” Thanks, Veeva, that really helps.

“Ai
n’t you scared?” I ask, turning back to face Lara.

She shakes her head. “Sometimes I wonder about you. Have you still not thought
about everything I told you? I ain’t doing the Call. It ain’t for me. It ain’t for you neither, but I can’t make that decision for you.”

I’m flabbergasted. The Call isn’t somethi
ng you skip, like Learning or Shovel Duty. It’s the whole point of our lives up to this point. The only way anyone’s ever missed the Call is if…

“You think
the Wilds are gonna kidnap you?” I say slowly. All of sudden I forget ’bout the Icies, ’bout the Marked. It’s gotta be the Wilds she’s working with. It’s gotta be.

She laughs for the third time, looks up at the sun goddess. “Yeah, they’ll kidnap me alright.”

Then she gets up and leaves. So much for keeping me company.

~~~

I don’t know ’bout a lot of things Lara said, but she was right ’bout one thing: you can’t stop time, can’t even slow it down. I know, I’ve tried.

First I tried not s
leeping. I figured that sleep is like wasting a third of a day in a blink of an eye. Sleep is skipping time, making it pass faster. So for three days straight I didn’t sleep. I snuck out, romped ’round the village, splashed water on my face, held my eyelids open with my fingertips. You know what? Those days still went right on by like I wasn’t even moving. Sure enough, I blinked and they were gone, just like all the rest.

So I filled a jar with stones
and whispered a blessing to the sun goddess on each one, which represented the days left till my Call. If I could keep those stones in that jar, the days couldn’t pass. I woke up the next day, excited to watch my plan take hold. The sun rose, but I swear it was moving slower’n unusual, which got my hopes up, but by the time I left Learning it was sinking down, down, down, like always. That day went faster’n most.

You can’t stop time. It’s the most powerful force in the universe.
And this time it seems to have taken sides with my father. The Call is coming whether Lara believes it’s something we should do or not.

I often wonder whether there are others just like us, living the same lives, but different. Like is there another Siena out there somewhere, not Scrawny but Strong? And a Circ who still lives, having never gone on that mission?
Another Lara who doesn’t hafta count on the Wilds to kidnap her to escape the Call? I know it’s just my imagination creeping up on me in that quick and subtle way that it does, but I still wanna believe it’s true.

I hafta
believe.

~~~

Three days to the Call. I’ve asked Lara half a dozen times why she thinks the Wild Ones are gonna kidnap her but she don’t have an answer. Or she won’t answer. I’m beginning to think she’s convinced herself it’s true to calm her nerves. Or maybe there’s something to it. Could she really know the feral all-girl tribe? At this point anything’s possible, I reckon.

Veeva’s been giving me ti
ps all quarter full moon, like “Don’t let yer Call take control when you lie with ’im. Show ’im who’s boss.” Like most of what she says, I don’t even know what that means.

Father’s been extra nice to me, which basically means he hasn’t yelled at me or
pulled out his good friend, the snapper. That’s ’bout as good as it gets with him.

Mother seems happy too, although she’s always tired these days. “My little girl is growing up,” she says today, while we’re sitting together mending a pair of Father’s
britches. They’re from the battle with the Glassies and they got holes in both knees. One of the nice things ’bout being a Pre-Bearer is that I been done with Learning for a quarter full moon. I still gotta go to some Pre-Bearer thing later today and tomorrow, but that’s it.