Fire in the Blood (3 page)

However, Annie was now fully into her stride and quite relentless. ‘Okay, I think I already know the answer, but how about a Facebook page, or even a Twitter account?’

‘No none of the above, sorry. They’re all the work of the devil as far as I’m concerned, but I don’t think that makes me a bad person. On the
plus
side of things, I do have a fully functioning flush toilet and a three-speed fan heater to get me through the winter months.’

Jack then winced as this young stranger, who he had met only ten minutes before, then summed up the pitiful current state of JD Investigations with laser-like accuracy. ‘Well, if you don’t mind me saying, you’re basically a
dinosaur
as far as technology and marketing goes. And to be honest, it’s not an intern that this place needs, it’s a miracle worker.’

Jack half-smiled and raised both hands in mock surrender, to stop the rant. ‘I prefer old-school to dinosaur, but I take your point.’

Annie then paused to catch her breath and rein in her enthusiasm. ‘I’m really sorry, Mr Davidson, I got a bit carried away there. I always do that. I didn’t mean to be so critical. Obviously it’s your business and you can run it any way you want. But I just can’t help myself when I see things being done in a sloppy inefficient way, when it’s really just as easy to be organised and on top of things.’

‘That’s absolutely okay, Annie, but to return to my original question … why do you think I need an assistant?’

Annie appeared reluctant to answer at first, but then said, ‘Look, I hope you won’t be offended, but I think the most likely explanation is that you need someone to drive you around because you’ve recently been done for drink-driving and lost your licence.’

Jack frowned and said, ‘Really …what makes you think that?’

Annie looked round the office once again, before answering, ‘Well firstly your coat’s soaking wet, so you obviously walked a fair bit this morning, although there’s a half-empty car park just round the corner. Your shoes are also pretty muddy and I can see a pile of old bus tickets in the waste paper basket, so I think you haven’t driven to work for a while. As I see it, there are only two possibilities, either you can’t afford a car, or you’ve lost your licence. But given your age, beer gut, red nose and the strong smell of booze and mints coming from your breath … my money is definitely on the driving ban.’

Jack was sincere in his praise and said, ‘Christ, you don’t hold back, do you? But I’m impressed. Honestly.’

‘Oh, there was
something
else.’

‘What’s that?’

Annie
paused and then smiled. ‘My auntie, Peggy McKay, has the Royal Bar. She told me about you losing your licence and needing an assistant who can drive. So when I saw your ad in the local paper I thought, why not? This would be something completely different for me. I definitely need a new challenge, you know?’

Jack had been making occasional scribbled notes on his A4 pad as the interview progressed and at last he interrupted the opinionated young woman and said, ‘Let’s take a quick time-out here, okay? Correct me if I’m wrong. But so far, and we’ve only been going around twenty minutes, you seem to strongly disapprove of the fact that I don’t have a website, a social media presence, a functioning computer or a smartphone. In addition the standard of housekeeping here in the office apparently leaves a lot to be desired and my breath smells of booze, despite the fact that it’s only ten o’clock in the morning. At least my poor old fax machine gave you a laugh. So does that just about cover it, or have I missed anything
else
that annoys you?’

Not for the first time at an interview, Annie James suspected that she had gone too far with her answers. Probably way
too
far. But she just couldn’t get a handle on this guy. He actually seemed
to
want
honest answers and at least
appeared
to be interested in her opinions. This was definitely a first, but maybe he was just weird.

She decided to say exactly what was on her mind. This was a high risk strategy and giving straight answers to his questions
might
give her a good chance of actually landing the job. But, by the same token, it could also mean she would crash and burn and probably get thrown down the stairs into the bargain.

She bit her lip and continued, ‘Okay then, there’s also the missing name plate at the front door and, since you’re asking, I think you definitely need to get a haircut and spend some money on new clothes. I mean, honestly, that crumpled old suit you’re wearing and the naff shiny tie with the mystery stains would be ideal if you were selling the Big Issue outside Queen Street station. But, for anyone else, this is definitely not a good look. I mean, if you go to meet potential new clients looking like
that
, you’re giving out completely the wrong impression.’

‘Which is?’

‘Sad, clapped-out, curled up at the edges, over the hill, out of touch …’

‘Stop. Please,
stop
. I get it, honestly I do, and I don’t necessarily disagree with any of that. But tell me this, because I’m confused. If I’m, apparently, such a basket case, why on earth do you want to come and work here?’

‘As I said before, I like a challenge and I think I can help. I’ve got a lot of ideas and I want a job where I’m asked for my opinion and not just told what to do and shut up all the time.’

‘Okay, Annie, I appreciate your honesty. Is there anything else you want to ask me?’

For the first time during the interview Annie looked slightly anxious and unsure. ‘Look, I don’t want to waste your time, but from what you’ve seen so far, do you think I have
any
of the qualities you’re looking for?’

‘Well you’re young and obviously intelligent. You’ve also got good observational skills and, like most women, you can lie beautifully, which is really useful in this business. I think the reason you’ve had loads of different jobs is probably because you get bored easily. You just don’t like the normal office routine, all the career development, continuous improvement, annual appraisal bullshit that goes on everywhere these days. What you really need is to be stretched and challenged, to be trusted to use your own initiative.’

Annie nodded enthusiastically and said, ‘You’re not wrong. I’ve got a brain and ever since I left school, I’ve been looking for a job where I’m allowed to use it.’

Jack continued, ‘And if I had
my
private detective hat on, I would say that you’ve probably worked for a time in the Civil Service or local government, dealing directly with the public, because you seem pretty cynical for someone so young. I think you must have listened to a lot of hard-luck stories and lies from people desperate for money. I don’t know, probably somewhere like Social Security.’

Annie
appeared genuinely taken aback by his guesswork. ‘That is just
so
cool, I actually worked for eight months at Work and Pensions last year, and for the last three months I was helping to deal with crisis loans. Honestly, you could be on television like that guy, what’s his name? Darren somebody … Jack was puzzled. ‘You mean Darren Clark? The Irish golfer?’

‘No, sorry it’s Derren … Derren Brown. You know, the mind reader guy.’

It was now Jack’s turn to pause and smile. ‘Okay, there was
something
else. Your aunt Peggy told me all about you as well. She says you’re okay. Smart and a bit eccentric, but okay, and her recommendation is good enough for me. But what you have to understand, Annie, is that this isn’t like an ordinary job. You need to be flexible and willing to occasionally work long hours. Once in a while things can even get a little bit scary, but mainly it’s just about using your brain and hard work.’

‘I’m definitely up for that,’ she replied, without hesitation.

‘Right then, Annie, this is my last question. If you answer it correctly, you’ll get the job. So no pressure, you ready?’

Annie nodded calmly and replied, ‘Okay, shoot.’

Jack lifted up a folded newspaper from his desk and said, ‘I try and do
The Times
crossword every morning. It’s a kind of test, you know, to see what kind of day I’m going to have. If I can finish it in less than an hour, then it’s going to be a good day and if I can’t, well …’

‘Let me take a wild guess, you’ve not finished it recently.’

‘Correct. I think the last time was when Gordon Brown was spotted in the House of Commons. So, you’re right … not recently.’

‘Gordon who?’

‘Never mind, he used to be a politician, allegedly. Anyway, in today’s paper I have only one clue still to get and then I’m finished, so
that’s
what my last question’s about.’

Annie was clearly not impressed and said, ‘I don’t know
anybody
who still does crosswords. They’re kind of dorky and, like, so old school. It’s a bit like collecting stamps, or trainspotting.’

‘Okay, I accept that it’s maybe no longer cool, but trying to do a crossword is actually great practice for a newbie private eye. Think about it … completing a crossword involves exactly the same thought process as working on a new case. You’re presented with a set of clues, some of which maybe don’t make much sense to begin with, or are complete red herrings, and you then have to use your brain to logically work through them, and try and to fit all the pieces together.’

Annie was clearly unconvinced and said, ‘Whatever. If you say so.’

‘Anyway the clue I’m stuck on, is the name of an exotic bird with a long neck. Two words with five and eight letters … any ideas?’

‘So let me get this straight … if I can guess the answer correctly, I get the job?’

‘That’s right.’

‘Okay then, an exotic bird with a long neck and the name has two words, with five and eight letters. Oh,
right
… it must be Naomi Campbell.’

Jack laughed out loud and slapped the top of his desk. ‘That’s the wrong answer, but it’s a pretty good joke. I like your style, Annie James. You’ve got the job, if you want it.’

‘I really want it. Thanks.’

Jack then tossed his copy of
The Times
aside and said with a smile, ‘Welcome aboard then, Annie, and bugger the crossword, it’s
still
going to be a good day. Let’s give this intern arrangement a trial for a month and see how it goes. And if things don’t work out, well … no harm no foul.’

Annie was eager and excited. ‘Cool. I can start right away, if you like. What would you like me to do for you first, Mr Davidson?’

Jack smiled before answering. ‘It’s been a quite a while since a woman asked me that. Okay, the first thing is to call me Jack, just Jack. Then you can just settle in and get the feel of things, while I go out for a couple of hours.’

‘No problem, but one final question. What’s my job title? You know, like when I answer the phone, what do I say to people?’

‘I really hadn’t thought about that, what would you like it to be?’

Annie pondered for a moment, then said, ‘How about Associate Investigator?’

‘Fair enough, Associate Investigator Annie James it is then. I’ll organise some business cards for you while I’m out and also get a spare office key cut. By the way, you haven’t asked me about money, which is usually the first thing most women want to know.’

Annie replied without any hesitation. ‘How about fifteen hundred a month, to start with, plus ten per cent of any new business that I bring in?’

Jack pursed his lips and then made a counter offer. ‘I was thinking more like a grand a month. But hey, let’s split the difference and make it twelve-fifty, with a five per cent bonus for any new business, and then a review after six months.’

They shook hands on the deal and, as Jack put on his coat and left the office, Annie James stood, with hands on hips, looking around, not sure where to start. After struggling to open the stiff sash and case window, to allow some fresh air into the stuffy office, she began to sort through the blizzard of paper lying around on the floor.

Chapter 3

Two hours later Jack returned and was shocked by the transformation that had taken place. His desk, previously piled high, was now completely clear, apart from the telephone and a single notepad and pen, with all other paperwork neatly bundled, bound securely with string and clearly marked with Post-Its, apparently in date order. The office floor had also been swept clean and two large black plastic bags, full of rubbish for disposal, were lying adjacent to the entrance door.

‘Hey wait a minute, what the
hell
have you done? I told you to settle in, not fuck everything up. I’ll never be able to find anything ever again. It took me years to perfect my filing system.’

Annie stood her ground and calmly defended her actions. ‘Rubbish, you didn’t have a proper filing system …
that
was the problem. Look, I’ve been through every bit of paper in this office and bundled everything into indexed case files, open and closed.
Now
you’ll be able to find things.
And
there’s good news and bad news about money.’

Suddenly feeling old, tired and desperately in need of a drink, Jack slumped down into his chair and said, ‘Okay then, give me the good bit first.’

‘Well I found £450 in cheques that haven’t been paid into the bank
and
almost £1800 of outstanding Invoices. I’ve made a list and started chasing up the clients so, hopefully, you should be receiving a few more cheques in the post soon.’

Suddenly feeling slightly less old and tired, but still in need of a drink, Jack sat up and exclaimed, ‘That’s terrific. Then we can afford to go out for lunch and celebrate you joining the firm.’

However, Annie hadn’t finished her state of the nation report. ‘By the way, do you
like
this office?’

‘Yes it’s obviously not fancy, but it is reasonably central and not too expensive. I’ve been here almost twelve years, ever since I left the Glasgow polis and set up on my own. Why do you ask?’

With a deadpan expression Annie held up a letter, which exhibited a significant quantity of upper case lettering and bright red ink. ‘
This
says you’ll be evicted by sheriff officers, at nine o’clock on Friday morning, if the outstanding rent arrears aren’t paid in full.’

Jack was flustered and clearly embarrassed. ‘I knew that, I get
them
all the time. I’ll do a cheque and sort it out later. I promise.’
He then scratched his head, trying to take in the whirlwind of changes that have taken place in his private domain. ‘By the way, what’s that funny smell?’

‘That’s called air freshener, boss. Between the fag smoke, bits of old takeaways and the empty beer cans that were lying around, this place smelled like a wino’s sleeping bag.’

‘Christ, you’re a one woman wrecking ball, Annie James, right enough. Is there anything
else
I should know about?’

‘Oh yes, there was a phone call from a woman who wants us to find her missing partner, who’s got at least three other women on the go apparently, and hasn’t paid her a penny in child support for over a year. And surprise, surprise, the wonderful Child Support Agency hasn’t been able to track him down.’

Jack stretched and yawned, then said wistfully, ‘I honestly don’t know where some guys get the energy to chase women around like that. I sometimes think there must be a bit of panda in my family tree. Anyway thanks, give me the number and I’ll phone her back later.’

However, Annie was in full Ms Efficiency mode. ‘It’s okay, boss, I dealt with it already. The details are all on the top sheet of the pad, right there on your desk.’

Slumping even further into his chair, Jack stared dumbly at the notepad and said, ‘What do you mean,
you
dealt with it?’

Annie was clearly pleased with herself and said, ‘Well I took down her all details and then made a few phone calls. I got lucky on the fifth call to a pal back at the Social, who gave me a mobile number for lover boy, who’s an ace car mechanic apparently, so he does loads of jobs for people who work in offices, here in the city centre. Anyway, I phone the number and when he answers, I tell him in my best husky voice that I’m desperately in need of a
full
service … nudge, nudge. So then he sniggers and says, “I’m sure ye do darling, but whit aboot yer car?”’

‘Ah yes, very smooth.’

‘Anyway I start giggling, like it was the funniest chat-up line I’ve ever heard and after another five minutes of his rubbish patter, I manage to get him to actually quote me a price, £100 plus parts, for cash natch, and then
finally
he gives me the address of the lockup garage he uses. So it should be pretty straightforward to follow him from there back to wherever he’s staying. I could do it this evening, if you like.’

Jack briefly considered a change of career before answering. ‘So if he did a couple of jobs like that every day, he could easily be clearing a grand a week in cash. But the problem is that, if he does have umpteen women on the go, he probably never actually has time to head straight home after work. Anyway that was a good bit of work Annie.’

‘It only took me half an hour, boss, while I was tidying things up around here.’

Jack then shook his head and wondered how he could possibly cope with the whirlwind of changes that had engulfed his business. The old adage, be careful what you wish for, suddenly came to mind.

‘I really don’t know what to say, Annie. So how much did you quote her for the job?’

‘Well I wasn’t sure, so I just said £500 a day plus expenses, which is the same as my uncle charges.’

‘You don’t mean
he’s
a private detective as well?’

‘No, he’s an emergency plumber.’

‘But the poor woman sounds as if she’s broke, I mean, if she’s chasing this guy for child support.’

Annie was dismissive, all business. ‘That’s not
our
problem and anyway she might have been lying. We have no way of knowing for sure why she wants to find him. But regardless, when she pays up and we give her the bum’s address, she can then do whatever it is she needs to do.’

Jack was feeling quite exhausted just catching up with the morning’s events. ‘So, is that me up to date
now
, or have you, in a spare five minutes, maybe also negotiated a takeover deal with the Pinkerton agency?’

Annie hesitated for a moment and frowned before replying. ‘Well there was
one
other phone call, but I think it was probably nothing … just some nut job.’

‘Did he, or she, leave a name?’

‘It was a man and no, he didn’t give a name.’

‘So what
did
he say?’

Annie bit her lip and reluctantly answered. ‘Okay, he said … he said that he’s going to kill you.’

Jack’s face showed no emotion at this alarming news. ‘Was any particular reason mentioned?’

‘No, he just said that you would know what it was about.’

‘Well thank God for
that
, I’d hate
to be the victim of a random, motiveless crime. But seriously, I’m sorry you had to hear that crazy shit Annie, when you’re hardly in the door. You must have been pretty scared.’

‘No
way
, we used to get bampots like him on the phone every other day when I was at Work and Pensions, making all kind of mad threats when they got knocked back for crisis loans on a Monday morning. Usually it was after they’d blown all their money on drink and drugs at the weekend.’

‘That’s useful to know
.
I’ve often thought about contacting them when I’ve been broke. That saves me a phone call. So did
you
say anything to him?’

‘Absolutely. I told him I’ve just started work here and won’t get paid till the end of the month, so if he wouldn’t mind postponing the hit till then, I’d really appreciate it. He just laughed then in a really creepy sort of way and said there wasn’t any rush. Then he hung up.’

‘As you say Annie, probably just some nutter. By the way, did he have an Irish accent?’

‘How did you know that?’

For a moment Jack looked troubled and he went over to the office window, to check out the street below before answering. ‘Lucky guess, I’m Darren Clarke, remember. Anyway, forget about it. Let’s go out for lunch, my treat, and I’ll fill you in on some of the cases you’ll be working on. Actually it won’t take very long, things have been pretty slow lately.’