Fire Spell (14 page)

I pressed my palm against his chest, remembering when I found strength in how he shielded me from Helen. I sorted words in my head like ‘I’m sorry. It’s not you, This is hard for me too,’ but none of them felt right, none of them could simultaneously tell Jack what he meant to me while explaining how clear it was we weren’t supposed to be together. There was no easy or magical recipe to break someone’s heart.

I maneuvered to the side, rocking out from underneath him.

“What’s wrong?” He sat back on his heels.

I tugged on my shirt and flattened it against my hips. I didn’t want to cause him this pain.

“Ivy, are you upset with me? I shouldn’t have thrown you against the wall like that. I let it get out of control.”

“No, that’s not it.” I wasn’t about to tell him how hot it was that he could take control like that—that would confuse everything. “You need to know that I have to keep you alive. I promise I will keep you alive, but that’s all that’s between us.” I wiped a tear that stung the corner of my eye.

“That’s it?” His voice was low.

I was barely keeping it together. “Yes,” I managed to whisper. “That’s all we can be.”

“What about all of the things we said to each other in Vegas?” he questioned.

I fought the tears. “I realize for you it seems like we can pick up where we left off a year ago, but too much has happened since then.” I didn’t want to go into those details, but what choice did I have? “Look, I got back together with my ex, and then he left again. That whole relationship is complicated. I even dated someone else.”

“Right, the movie star.” He rolled his eyes.

I nodded. “Right. Jack, I had to move on. We couldn’t be together. I could never be the reason you died.”

“But it’s not your fault. And I know you can find a way to figure it out. You’re clever and talented. You’ve done it before.” I didn’t like that he had hope for us. It made it that much harder to continue. “Ivy, all year I could have moved on. Hell, I had no memory of us, but I didn’t. That has to mean something. I have been here for you this whole time.”

The words dug into my heart, needling it with pain. I shook my head. “I had to think about you in a different way. I
do
think about you in a different way.” I reached for his hand.

Jack sighed. “Is it all because of your magic? I don’t care that you’re a witch. I should have said that last night.”

I nodded. “That’s the biggest part of it.”

“But I’m fine with it. I think it’s amazing. I love it.” He cracked a smile.

My voice was shaky. “I wanted us to have a chance. I really did. Over the past year, I’ve learned things about myself and my magic that I can’t ignore anymore. I thought I could keep that part of my life separate, but I know I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you, or to me. I am a witch. I want to be a witch. And if that’s who I am, I can’t be with you. It’s impossible.”

“Then choose me.” His chestnut eyes bored into my soul.

“What?”

“Choose me. Choose a regular life. Give up your magic. Choose me instead, Ivy.”

I couldn’t believe what he was saying. My mind was confused and muddled with the meaning behind his words. “Give up magic?”

“Yes. I know it’s asking a lot but—”

I stood from the bed. “Asking a lot? You don’t know what you’re asking. My entire family is magical. It’s who we are. It’s a part of my being and I can’t just turn it off like a switch.”

“You do it all the time.”

“I do it to interact with humans, sure. But I don’t give up that part of myself when I’m at home, or when I’m with other witches. I don’t want to.” It was insane what he was suggesting. I would be an outcast in the magical community. I couldn’t
Time Spell
anymore, or read through my mother’s herb books. No more
Glamour
or
Remedy Spells
. I would never fly again, or glow again. I shook my head. No. I was certain before, but staring the choice in the face, my certainty was cemented.

“No, Jack. No.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. I watched as he walked to the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. The silence was deafening. I pulled my knees to my chest. One day I hoped Jack would understand that timing is everything.

“W
HAT IS
the plan when they get here?” Jack asked. He sat near the window.

Besides trying to smooth the awkward waters with Jack, I didn’t have a plan. I needed to find out who the cloaked men were, what they had to do with Foresights and dreams, and why the council needed to take them out in 1949. There was nothing easy about this situation.

“I don’t have one.” I pulled the zipper on my second boot. It would be so much easier to
Glamour
myself back together, but there was no way I would risk making myself weaker by performing any spells in front of him. Jack had rumpled my clothes and turned my hair into a knotty mess.

“That makes me a little concerned.” He looked at his phone. It was ringing. “Hold on, it’s Ann.”

I made the bed and put the room back together as best I could. The lampshade wouldn’t stay on the lamp now, but I would have to fix it when Jack wasn’t looking. I heard a knock at the door. Jack was still talking to Ann.

“Hey, girl.” Holly hugged me and Ian leaned in next.

“Hey.” The timing was awkward, but I was happy to see my brother and cousin.

Ian pointed at Jack. “So he knows everything?”

Jack waved, but returned to his call. Ann must have something serious to discuss with him.

“Yes. His memory is completely restored. The
Eraser Spell
is gone. I couldn’t deny it anymore.”

Ian put his arm around my shoulder. “It’s not your fault. There are forces pushing us to do things we would never do. It’s ok.”

“Wait.” I stopped him. “Did something else happen?”

“Yes, but we’ll talk about it later.” He sighed.

I didn’t like the way that sounded. They walked into the room and sat on the bed, all of us waiting for Jack to finish his call.

“Anything new happen with you since last night?” Ian asked.

I shifted on my feet. “What? No. Nothing. Nothing at all.”

Holly giggled. Great. She wasn’t making this any easier.

“What’s so funny?” Ian looked between us.

“Holly’s just being ridiculous.” I glared at her. “What do you think we should do next?”

“Sorry about that.” Jack shoved the phone in his pocket and reached his hand toward Ian. “Hey, good to see you again.”

Ian smiled. “You too. It’s a little weird, but good to see you.” The last time they had met was at one of my book signings. Ian tried to attend all of my local events.

“Good to see you, Jack.” Holly smiled.

I bristled, unsure how Jack would take seeing her again. She was the one who had stripped him of his memory, something he already seemed to have forgotten over the past few hours. Well, that was until he was face-to-face with her.

“Holly.” He nodded at her. “I’m not going to shake your hand, but know it’s because I want to keep the memories, not because I’m being a rude ass.”

“Oh, of course. Totally understandable.”

I sighed. That went better than expected.

Jack pulled up two chairs, one for me, one for him. I sat next to him.

“Ok, so back to what I was going to suggest.” Ian broke the awkward silence. “I think we need a
Locality Spell
.”

I looked at him. “Who are we trying to find? I don’t even know who the cloaked men are. We don’t have names.”

My brother’s voice softened. “Ivy, we need to find Finn.”

Holly gasped. She probably didn’t mean to, but I was glad someone could express what I was feeling.

“Finn?” I stuttered his name. It didn’t seem right to say it with Jack in the room, especially not after what we just talked about.

“Who’s that?” Jack asked.

Ian seemed to be the calmest of the group. I let him take the lead. “He’s my friend, another detective on the SGPD.”

“And he’s missing?” Sometimes I forgot how Jack could zip into reporter mode.

Holly chimed in. “Not missing so much as he’s on a vacation.”

Jack arched one eyebrow. “Vacation? And we need him? He’s one of you, I’m guessing.”

My heart was in my stomach. I thought I might be sick right here in front of everyone. I ran to the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. I turned on the cold water and splashed my face.
Get control, Ivy. Control this.

I hadn’t thought any of this through. Jack’s passion hit me like a boulder, and I had stupidly almost completely given in to a crush I had burned for three years. What was I thinking? I patted a cold washcloth on my neck. I stopped it, I reminded myself. I stopped it.

“Honey, you ok?” Holly called through the door.

I cracked it to let her in. I shook my head.

“Hold on.” She pushed me toward the tub and pointed at the door. “Barrier.” She called the spell, and I saw the sound barrier form along the bathroom wall. “We don’t need anyone to hear this. We can talk. What happened?”

I let the floodgates open, and the tears pour from my eyes. “I kissed him. Like an idiot.”

“Oh, that’s exciting.” Her voice said one thing and her eyes something entirely different.

“Yeah, it would have been exciting if I had just let my hormones take over. People’s lives are at stake. His life.” I pointed to the door. “And Finn’s. Oh my God, what have I done?” I buried my face in my hands. “Now he’s mad and confused. It’s a disaster.”

“Ivy, you have had a thing for Jack for years. Stop beating yourself up. Besides, we don’t have time for you to wallow in regret. We need you.” She shook my shoulders.

“But did I cheat on Finn? Because right now, I feel like a big cheater. Like the kind that should wear a scarlet letter.”

“No! You did
not
cheat. Besides, since when is kissing and making out cheating? Finn’s been gone for nine months. He left you for that quest. You are officially on the biggest break, so you can do whoever you want.” She smiled. “And I have to say, nice choice.”

I smacked her arm. “Hey.”

“You know what I mean. If you’re going to be with someone else, why not the guy you’ve crushed on forever? It seems perfectly normal to me. You dated Evan and you didn’t seem to have this kind of guilt over it.”

“True, but I think that was different from the beginning. Jack is Jack. He’s my— I don’t even know how to describe him.”

She sighed. “He’s your human. That’s what he is.”

Holly would always support me, but deep down, I knew she was pulling for Finn to finish his quest and get home. As human as Mike was, she was a witch-to-witch relationship kind of girl.

“Right. He’s human. And he’s in danger and I think he’s in love with me. This just spiraled out of control. I would have been so much better off with a random one-night stand.”

My cousin laughed. “We both know you couldn’t handle a one-night stand.”

“Ok, you’re right again. My last one ended up being with Finn, and I guess it was technically never a one-night stand. Damn him. He shouldn’t be in my head, but he is.” I pulled the washcloth from my forehead. “I have all I’ve ever wanted out there in that room, and I turned him down. My heart isn’t with him anymore. Jack wants me, and—”