First Love (9 page)

Watching him pull up and button those jeans hanging low on his hips is doing nothing to calm my desire for him. The only thing sexier than a man in nothing but a pair of jeans is Kyle Connor in nothing but a pair of jeans. When he turns and struts out the door, I can't help but want to reach out and run my hand all over his perfect ass. I am glad one of us has will power. I never would have been able to stop. I haven't slept that well since the last time I spent the night in his arms. I’ve been awake for hours, but I didn’t want to end the bliss of being wrapped in his arms. I know I said we need to take this slow, but I am not sure I can. Most of the time, he seems like the same Kyle, like nothing has changed. Other times, I see that the man he has become is so different than the boy he was. He is cocky, confident, and sexy; a strong man who will take charge and isn't afraid to tell you exactly what he wants and when. And, I love it. This dominant side of him sends tingles straight to my core.

He has also seemed to master making women want him. Holly told me a few weeks ago that he hasn’t stayed with anyone for more than a night or two. How many women has he been with in the last six years? I guess I need to decide if I am going to let that bother me. I honestly think it would bother me more if he was in a serious relationship and had actually loved someone else.

I finally make it into the shower. I close my eyes and can’t help but visualize Kyle with all kinds of different women. My insides twist into knots, but I can't punish him for it. I am the one who left without a word. I finish in the shower, towel dry my hair, and put it in a high ponytail. I quickly get dressed in just some jean shorts and a plain white t-shirt. I can already smell coffee and breakfast cooking downstairs, and my mouth is watering.

As I come down the stairs, I hear music playing and Kyle's sexy, deep voice singing along in the kitchen. I peek around the corner and it takes everything in me to control myself when I see the image before me. Remember when I said there is nothing sexier than Kyle Connor in nothing but jeans? Well, I was so very wrong. I lean against the doorway to the kitchen to take in the sight in front of me. How I keep from becoming a puddle on the floor, I do not know. Kyle faces the stove, cooking French toast with his bare muscular back on display. On his right shoulder blade is the tattoo he got for his seventeenth birthday. It is the logo for the band Breaking Benjamin. He has some new ones on his arm, too. One is a black guitar with angel wings and another on his chest over his heart that I assume is his band's logo. The tattoo is a heart with angel wings, cracked up the center with drops of blood in the shapes of tear drops dripping from the bottom. There is something written in the corner, but I couldn’t see it that well last night.

The song changes and he starts singing along again, his hips swaying back and forth with the beat. All I can think about is what those hips could do with me lying underneath him. Suddenly, it’s starting to get very hot in this kitchen.

"You enjoying the show, Princess?" He looks over his shoulder and winks before going back to cooking. How did he know I was there? I definitely hit the nail on the head about him being cocky and confident. The last thing I am going to do is stroke his ego.

"Eh ... kind of." I shrug my shoulders and head for the coffee pot. Before I can register what's happening, Kyle has picked me up and placed me on top of the counter. He moves closer, placing himself between my legs. He runs his hands along my bare thighs. He moves up higher and higher with each pass until his rough fingers are grazing the edges of my lace panties. He brings his lips to my ear." Don't lie, Princess. I know when you’re turned on. I can see it in your eyes. I can hear you breathing harder over the music, and right now…" He slips his finger inside my panties and runs it along my folds down to my entrance, just enough to feel how turned on I really am. He slowly moves his finger back and forth, just enough to tease. I can’t hold back the whimper.

"I can feel how wet you are for me. I would say you thought my show was more than just okay. Care to retract your statement?" He lightly nips my earlobe with his teeth.

"Depends. What will happen if I don't?" I can feel him smile against my cheek. "Oh God." He pushes two fingers inside of me, teasing them in and out slowly, while circling my clit with his thumb. My entire body feels like it is on fire. He trails his tongue up my neck, and when he gets back to my ear, he whispers “Feels good, huh?" All I can do is nod and whimper. How this man could have me ready to explode in seconds is beyond me. He chuckles softly.

"How about now, have you changed your mind yet?" He starts moving his fingers faster and harder now.

“A… almost," is all I can say. Judging by the smile on his face, he knows I am not talking about changing my mind, but instead the orgasm that was about to rip through me.

“Look at me, Amber. I want to watch your beautiful face when you come." I look at him and can feel the heat rush to my cheeks. This is definitely the side of Kyle I am not familiar with, but I am really liking it. Before I know it, I am crying out his name, my entire body shuddering.

"Fucking beautiful." He buries his face in my neck, placing soft kisses on my skin. "Did that change your mind?" he asks against my neck.

"If that's what happens when I disagree with you, don't count on me being very agreeable." He kisses my forehead.

“You don't have to disagree with me ... I will make you come whenever and wherever you want. All you have to do is ask." This man is going to kill me. I kiss his chest and notice what’s in the corner of his tattoo. It is my name. I am a little surprised by this.

“Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, babe," he answers.

"Why do you have my name on your tattoo?" He turns to face me.

"Because you are my heart. When you left, my heart was broken." He gives me a sad smile, fixes my shorts, washes up, and goes back to fixing breakfast.

At this, I can’t help the twinge of guilt I feel in my chest.

I
AM
sitting out in the backyard waiting for Amber to finish cleaning the breakfast mess, which she insisted on doing since I cooked. I probably went a little too far in the kitchen earlier, but I couldn't help it. She looked too damn cute standing there all hot and bothered, watching me in the kitchen. Besides, she didn't seem to mind one single bit. Just hearing her sexy little noises and watching her face as I got her off ... damn, I almost lost it, and she never even had to touch me.

Luckily, she walks outside before I can get all excited thinking about her again. She sits down next to me on the double lounger and hands me a glass of iced tea. "I thought you might need something to cool you down." She has no idea, or maybe she does by the way she smiles at me.

"So, do who starts talking first?" she asks.

It might as well be me. I have a feeling there isn't anything she has done over the last six years that would cause us any problems. I run my hands down my face then grab her hand. Here goes nothing. “I waited here the first six months, hoping you would come back or call. The more time that passed, the angrier I got. I just didn’t understand. One day, we’re planning out our lives together, and the next, you disappear. I started thinking maybe you didn't love me as much as I loved you … or even at all.

“I decided that I needed to get as far away from this place as possible. Everything reminded me of you. So, I packed up my car and headed to L.A. I met Paul in a club one night after I got so shitfaced I couldn't stand up straight. He helped me out of the club, found out I was living in my car, and offered me his couch to crash on. He got me a job waiting tables at a club he was tending bar at. We became friends pretty quickly and decided to put a band together. We eventually found Marcus and Angel and started Bleeding Hearts." I look up at her to make sure she is still with me. She gives me an encouraging smile, so I continue.

“I came up with the name. I thought it was poetic at the time. We started playing clubs and getting a little more well-known. But, my mind was still on you. So, I did anything I could to make myself forget, if only for a little while. I started drinking way too much and using drugs on occasion. Luckily, the drugs never got serious. When the drugs and alcohol weren't enough, I figured the company of the endless supply of women would do the trick." I give her a pleading look and gripped her hand tighter, praying she understands how sorry I am. God, I hope this isn't where she tells me to fuck off forever.

“I am going to be honest, Amber, there were a lot more women than I remember, but I was always careful and got tested frequently, I swear." I look into the yard. I can’t find it in me to look at her face.

"Kyle, it's okay. It doesn't matter what you did while we were apart. As long as it is all over now and we are totally honest with each other about everything, it will be okay. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I like thinking about you being with other women, but I can't hold things that you did when we weren’t together against you. Especially since I was the reason we weren’t together. I am so sorry for not having more faith in you. I am sorry for not having the guts to stick around and talk to you about what I saw. I hope you can forgive me for causing all of your pain."

"I have already forgiven you. I can't say I would have handled the situation any better if it were reversed. You know I'm a strong believer in the saying, "Everything happens for a reason." Maybe those six years apart were meant to show us just how much we really do mean to each other. You are the only woman I have ever loved. Now that I know what it is like without you in my life, I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen again." With that, I grab her face and kiss her with as much intensity as I can muster. I try to let all the love I feel for her show through this kiss. When we stop the kiss to catch our breath, I can see how much she loves me in her eyes.

"You are the only man I have ever truly loved. All these years, I have never stopped thinking about you and wishing I was with you. I am so happy that we have another chance. I promise, I won't screw this one up." I pull her close to me and just hold her in my arms. I finally feel whole again. My chest no longer feels like it is going to burst from the agonizing pain I was in. Now, it feels like it could burst from the overwhelming love and happiness.