First Taste (The Lust List: Devon Stone #1) (14 page)

“That’s because my young son would rather see us all fail. He’s never possessed the same—shall I say—pureblood determination and boldness of other Stones. He wouldn’t know how to take the lead even if he wanted to—”

“Is that right?”

I jump at his voice. Devon walks up from behind his father and roughly pulls his arm from the wall, knocking the old man back a few steps. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“This is my home, son. I’ll do as I damn well please.”

“And I’m sure your
girlfriend
would approve.” He walks past his father so he’s standing in front of me, his face inches from Calvin’s. “Don’t ever go near Olivia again. Do you understand me?”

Without waiting for a response, he takes my hand and leads me upstairs. We walk past the busy party room, and I can’t ignore all the heads that turn in our direction. Devon brings me halfway down a dark hallway and stops abruptly.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

I’m not fine. At all. But it hardly has anything to do with Calvin Stone. All my thoughts about this week are rushing back all at once. Looking at Devon, it’s too obvious there’s more to him than being laid back and charismatic. No, he’s trouble. To be with him would mean letting go of control—forgetting exactly who I need to be. I’ve already seen it happen. Getting distracted. Acting carelessly. Giving into lust at the first opportunity. I can’t be that person.

“I’m so sorry about him,” Devon says. “When it comes to women, he’s scum. He can run a business like no other—the fucking king of the music industry. But he’s mostly just a sleaze bag in his private life.”

“I don’t care about your dad. He’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?” He sounds angry, and I don’t know if it’s because of his father or if our previous fight is reigniting.

What
is
the problem? He’s right here when there’s a house filled with glamorous, gorgeous women—many of which wouldn’t have to think twice about being with him. God, I want him. But wanting isn’t enough. The nagging voice inside my brain has been repeating itself for days.

We’d never work.

I need to be honest with him and tell him whatever was building between us—it’s through. “I’ve been thinking about the other night. And…and maybe I was too quick to assume, but your past is all I know about you. And you know even less about me, so believe me when I say…I just don’t think we could ever…”

“You’re not the only one who gets to make that decision.”

“Devon, I’m nothing like those people down there. I—”

“Don’t you get it? That’s why I’m falling for you.”

He’s what?

“That’s crazy,” I argue. “You can’t—”

“Believe
me
when I say I’ve done crazier. But I’m falling for a girl I hardly know. A girl I want to know. A girl who’s making it harder and harder to get to know.” He pushes his hair away from his forehead, and the scent of his shampoo drifts toward me. “You have some pre-conceived idea of who I am. I know my past doesn’t help. I don’t deny I’m a screw-up, Olivia. The headlines—my family—remind me constantly. So I can’t blame you for wanting to run. But I don’t have much more energy in me to keep trying to make this work.”

And now silence. It’s my turn to speak. But I wasn’t expecting that. He wants to make things work. But… “Make what work?”

“That’s what I want to know too.”

I don’t have the right response. I can give this a chance and pray my insecurities don’t get the best of me. I can let him go and probably never see him again. Neither sounds ideal.

“Devon, I don’t know—”

“That’s the second thing.
You
need to lighten the hell up.”

Is he kidding? He goes from admitting his feelings for me to insulting me? “Right, so I’m the problem? I—”

“You need to let go of these petty issues of yours. You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re an adult. You’re capable. Stop acting like you don’t know any of these things. If I have to repeat it to you, fine. But it would be much easier if you’d just cut yourself a damn break. Maybe then you’d stop hiding from life.”

First Maddie. Now Devon. Are they teaming up behind my back?

“Are you even listening, or am I wasting my—”

“Yes. I’m listening.” No, he wants me to react on impulse. Like he does. He’d rather I spouted out my every thought rather than considering things, making careful decisions. Maybe he’s the one who needed to learn how to give things time and listen more. “Is there a third thing?”

“Yeah, there is.” Without giving me a chance to predict what he’d say next, Devon closes the gap between us, his mouth meeting mine with a desperate force. His hands fall to my shoulders, and as soon as they touch my skin, they seem to come to life. His arms wrap around me, and his fingers grip my bare skin, pressing me into him even more. Even his hands act as though this could be it for us. Our tongues dance, and his lips make promises I desperately need him to keep.

I pull away to catch my breath and find myself laughing. “Right. Number Three. That’s you.” Shit. I say it before remembering my oath to never admit I’d seen “The Lust List”.

He gives me a disapproving look. “You do read that smut.”

“No. No. Maddie told me. I had no idea before then. Didn’t even know who you were. I swear, I—”

His devilish smile lets me know I’m off the hook. He licks his lips and brings his face close to mine again. This time his lips graze my cheek and move to my ear.

My own hands find their way to the back of his neck and up into his hair—his dark strands intertwining with my pale skin. His entire body is warm. Firm. Everywhere.

He wants me.

Every inch of him is trying to prove it, and I want, more than anything, to give in.

But I can’t.

I break away from him.

“It won’t.”

“What won’t what?”

“
We
. We won’t work. No matter how much we try to force it, it would never last.”

“You don’t even want to give it a shot?” His eyebrows furrow as he rubs the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “I don’t get it, Olivia. For a second, we’re on the same page, and then—”

“We’re in different universes?” I look down the hall and then back up at him. “This is your world. And I don’t fit in. You have everything. No worries. Family. The opportunities to do anything you want.”

“You haven’t seen my world.” He spreads out his arms as though showing something off. “You’ve seen my dad’s. And my family? My dad’s a perverted sociopath dating a woman who’s younger than I am, and my brother’s his shadow. Don’t even get me started on him.”

“Be lucky yours is alive.”

“He—What? What’s that mean?”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up. I had a brother. He died. You should be more grateful.” I’m cursing Celia and Maddie for giving me those shots. The dumbest things keep escaping my mouth.

He reaches up to touch my face and keeps his voice quiet. “I want you to let me into your life. I want to know these things about you. I want to be the one to help you cope with whatever’s happened to you.”

“But all this isn’t for me. We’re not right together.”

He drops his arm and turns away. I can sense he’s trying to stay calm, deciding what to say next. He comes back to stand in front of me, his eyes full of sincerity. “I can’t do this back and forth thing. Just tell me, one way or the other, and we’ll go from there. When I wake up tomorrow, will you be in my life?”

He makes it sounds so simple. Like I can split my life in between being a Hollywood girlfriend and a broke college graduate. Like I can just change everything about me to feel more confident in going forward with this. I don’t know how to answer him, so all I can say is, “I can’t.”

“Fine.” He turns and leaves before I can finish my thought.

I can’t.

I can’t tell you one way or the other.

I can’t explain why this is so hard.

I can’t decide at this moment whether there’s a future for us.

But those two words were enough of an answer. Tears sting my eyes as I try to pull myself together. It’s better this way. I don’t understand my whirlwind attraction for him. Like a magnet. Or a deadly trap. Maybe I’m lucky I narrowly missed an uncertain fate.

Unsure where Devon disappeared to, I hurry downstairs to get busy with some other task. I need to work. I need this party to speed up. I need to go home and never have to come back again.

The faster this night comes to an end, the faster I can forget this entire week ever happened.

It’s strange walking back into a jubilant atmosphere—the party in full swing—and not one soul in here knows what all I’ve just been through. Well, except Calvin, who sits at the head table, his very young, very bleach-blond-haired girlfriend attached to his arm. A new drink is brought to him right as he finishes the old one, and he gives a nod and a wink to his server before returning to his conversation. My stomach flops, and I feel sick.

I end up back at Maddie’s bar. She’s talking to a cute, blond guy with a lip ring. One look at me, and she turns back to the mystery man and says something to him. He hands her his cell phone, and—as though she’s done it a million times before—she adds in her information in seconds and hands it back with a smooth smile. The guy brushes his lips against her cheek, and I think I see her blush. Then he walks away and she comes over to me.

“Did you just send him away?”

“Yeah,” she says, shrugging. “He knows how to find me. What’s up?”

“I talked to him.”

“Who?” she asks, and I give her a
look
that tells her it should be obvious. “Need a third?”

Third. Number Three. Devon.

But she’s talking about a drink. “No. I need to be able to walk straight.” Particularly since I can’t even think straight.

Maddie’s in her zone, clearly enjoying herself, when a tall girl walks up, and Maddie’s eyes grow wide. As glamorous as everyone is here, this woman still manages to stand out—probably because of the mermaid-like hair cascading down her back. The top is the same icy blue as Devon’s eyes, and the ends transition to a gradient of blues and greens. It’s striking and bold, and when she turns my way, her porcelain skin and charcoal eye shadow give her away.

“The one and only, Kennedy Rose,” Maddie exclaims. “I was at a Tempest Ultra show last year. You were great.”

Perfectly-fucking-perfect. Devon’s ex is here. Does she know who I am? Considering she’s looking past me like I don’t exist, I think it’s safe to say my identity hasn’t been uncovered. She catches me staring at her, smiles, and turns to Maddie.

“Thanks. You ladies don’t mind if I hang out here for a bit, do you? This is all a little much for me.” She nods her head toward the center of the room with the throngs of people. I can’t say I disagree.

“Pick your poison,” Maddie says and quickly gets to work making her a vodka-Red Bull.

Kennedy takes a sip and visibly relaxes in her seat. I should give her a chance. Maybe she’s nice.

“These Stones. Everything’s got to be monumental with them. Their possessions. Their events. Their relationships.”

“You dated Devon, didn’t you?” Maddie asks, and I shoot her a deadly glare. What the hell is she doing?

“For two years.” She nods. “We had something other couples don’t.” She looks right at me. “It’s like, we were always on the same wavelength, you know?”

No, I don’t know.

“It takes a hell of a woman to wrangle these guys. There’s nothing easy about being a part of the Stone family.” She gulps more of her drink. “Quiet, mousey girls would never survive.” She stares out toward the party, scanning the room until her eyes stop on one spot. Devon.

I’m not an idiot. I can read through her lines, so it’s obvious she does know me. What is she trying to accomplish here? “Sorry to hear things ended for you.”

“I’m sure you are.” She gives me a once over, glowering. “I’m curious. How did you do it? I give him two years of my life, yet it takes you two days to convince him to waste his time on you?”

“I must be a hell of a woman.”

She laughs. “Somehow I doubt that. It’s okay. He may like you now, but he loved me. So when he gets bored with you—”

“Like he got bored with you?” Maddie leans across the bar toward Kennedy. “Devon dumped you how long ago? Yet you’re here tonight still chasing after him? That’s a little…pathetic, don’t you think?”

Kennedy stands up and steps back from the bar, but Maddie comes around from the other side and stands next to me.

“Leave my friend alone. She’s got way more to offer than you ever did. You’re just the old girlfriend. Old news. As worn out as your last single.”

Kennedy’s gaze turns hard, and she holds her head up higher. “That’s too bad. You seemed cool,” she says to Maddie. “I was going to put you on my VIP list, but it looks like you’re no better than her.” She stomps away from us but she’s moving toward Devon. I don’t think we’ve made anything better here.

I turn to Maddie. “I thought you liked her and her music.”

“Oh, I love her stuff.” She returns behind the bar and gets back to work like nothing ever happened. “But I love you more.”

I should feel grateful, but I can’t deny my own anger. I’m mad at Kennedy for being a bitch. Mad at Devon for making all this happen. Mad at myself for not being able to handle my problems myself. And mad at Maddie for knowing that about me.