Authors: Alex Ames
Josh laughed. “See you in Akron!” He pressed the pedal on the Porsche, did some handbrake trick, and with screaming tires, the car did a clean one-eighty and flew away.
Dinner took longer than usual, as Rick had to repeat every word and action of their visitors earlier. Hal had joined them to verify the unbelievable parts, though he denied not having recognized Louise Waters. The greatest laugh was brought by Styler’s almost-accident, which Rick was able to mime with a cut-off hand, hidden in his sweater sleeve, to the shrieks of Dana and Charles.
“Is she as beautiful as she looks onscreen and in the magazines?” Britta asked.
Rick and Hal looked at each other. “Well, she looks smaller in real life, not this larger-than-life big-screen star,” Rick said.
“And she has a killer tan and not a hair out of order,” Hal offered.
“She was a lot of fun, actually,” Rick admitted. “Very natural. And a great laugh, even better than onscreen.”
“Ask her out on a date!” Britta suggested.
“Not in your life. She is the greatest movie star on the planet. I probably wouldn’t even be able to get through to her,” Rick said, laughing.
“And I am working on a date for you, too,” Hal said. “Don’t forget, the next one comes from me.”
“That would be a bummer, telling your candidate that she gets canceled because I got a date with Louise Waters.”
“It would go down as the lamest excuse ever. Better tell her you prefer watching a game with the guys.”
“All right, gang.” Rick clapped his hands. “One hour before bedtime. Hal and I will do the dishes.”
Hal groaned, “There is no such thing as a free dinner!”
The next day, around five o’clock, Josh Hancock called the shipyard to confirm that the transport had been arranged and to relay the details from the shipping company.
“Great, we will make room for the beauty,” Rick said. “We plan to do the restoration in our yard, but for winter we might consider renting a hangar close by. Or we’ll put up a tent.”
“I’ll leave that up to you,” Josh said. “You are the specialists. I plan to come by with my business assistant, who takes care of my non-movie-business affairs, next week. We can then discuss the practicalities of running the restoration.”
“Sure, you know where to find us.” Rick felt excited evaluating this interesting boat that was so dramatically different from everything he had ever worked on.
“By the way,” Josh continued. “Louise was quite taken with you and your family. Adorable wife and kids. She thinks you have the perfect life!”
Rick was taken aback for a second, as he felt his life was always on the brink of total disaster with household chaos and his company close to Chapter Eleven. “That’s . . . Say thank you.” He never knew why he said the next thing. “Um, there is no wife, actually.”
“Oh, sorry, buddy. Nasty divorce?”
“The worst,” Rick explained. “She died shortly after Dana, that’s our youngest, was born. An accident.”
Now that is the second dead-Bella joke I’ve made. Hope you are occupied with other things up there, honey.
“Man, what a bummer. I had no idea. I hope that you didn’t find me too intrusive. But Lou is a bit bluesy lately and maybe longs for the good old normal life that she will never have,” Josh explained. “Listen. One question—feel free to say no. We got word that we’ll be filming on Saturday to catch up on our delayed shooting schedule. Can I invite you and your family to watch?”
“Wow, that’s very generous of you. Sure. I bet the kids will be super-excited. It’s your latest action sequel?”
“No, a comedy. Louise and I are leading,” Josh clarified. “So, what’s the word?”
“The word is yes. Though you’ll need to invite Hal, too; otherwise our business relationship will go into crisis.”
Josh laughed. “My assistant will call you with details later today.”
Rick hung up the phone in slow motion.
That will be fun. And I will see Louise Waters again.
“Hey, what are you doing on Saturday?” he called over to Hal, who was doing some measurements on a sloop that they were refitting.
“Watching a
Blues Brothers
rerun.”
“No more!”
six
The Wookiee Incident
The Flint family, extended by Hal as an honorary member, made its way through the studio security and was welcomed by one of the production assistants.
“Hi, I am Laurie, and I’ll take care of you,” she said in an adorable Brooklyn accent as they rode in two golf carts from the parking lot to the studio. She was a thin punk girl with blue spiky hair, dressed in black and carrying an iPad that had a Sex Pistols sticker over the Apple logo. Despite her looks, she was all business. “Have you ever been to a movie set before?”
“Hal and I did the Universal tour about twenty years back, right?” Rick sat with Britta and Dana in the middle seat.
“Before you were born,” Hal tried to catch the attention of the PA.
She gave them a bright, wide smile. “Thank you! The set will excite you. We usually don’t film on Saturdays, but we are slightly behind with the scenes that need a lot of extras, so instead of keeping them through Monday, we decided to finish today instead and then continue with the original schedule.”
“So there will be a lot of stars?” Charles inquired. He had squeezed in the backseat with Hal while Agnes rode beside Laurie in front.
“There will be some stars, but most of the people needed for the scenes are just there to give the impression of a lot of busy people. In today’s three scenes, we have Louise and Josh and four other actors. Some of them you might know from other films or from TV. Here we are.”
The cart glided into a parking spot on the side of a huge production building. They followed Laurie into the big studio space, where everyone marveled at the size, technologies, lightning, and basically everything. Laurie explained to them the trader floor set, the rows of desks and computers stretching into the distance. Extras came over from dressing and were shown to their designated places by production assistants and set decorators.
“What do these two hectic ladies do?” Agnes pointed.
“The left one is the first assistant director. She prepares the scene to make it look real and good, nitty-gritty details, choreographs the extras, so that the main director of the movie, Roger, can concentrate on the lead actors and the scene. The lady on the right is the script supervisor. She makes sure that things look right from scene to scene. She’s worried because we had to exchange some extras who sat close to the desk we are filming around. We can dress the new extras like the previous ones—we made up their hair to make them look similar to yesterday’s scene—but of course two of them are different people.”
“But no one notices that kind of detail,” Charles said.
“You’d think!” Laurie laughed. “But there are people who watch movies a hundred times and spot the craziest things. Watches on the hands of knights, power lines in the background of a western, and a glass of water refilling itself automatically.”
“This looks so big,” Agnes looked around.
“Don’t be fooled and look closely. You think you see twenty rows of desks stretching far back? In reality it is only ten rows. The rest is just a large printed poster.” Laurie guided them over.
“That is so cool,” Hal commented. “The closer you get, the easier you see the illusion.” He touched the poster.
Laurie pointed back to the real room. “We tell the extras to make lots of natural working movements so that the viewer does not notice that the background remains static. Come on, we’ll say hello to Louise and Josh.”
Britta leaned into Agnes. “This room needs a cleanup.”
“Yeah, reminds me of yours!” Agnes muttered in reply.
Laurie had heard them. “No, that is intentional. The scene plays after a hectic trading day after everyone has lost billions of dollars.” She knocked at a door to a dressing room labeled “Josh Hancock.”
“Your guests are here, Mr. Hancock,” Laurie announced and ushered the Flints inside.
“Rick, my man, you’ve been busy!” marveled Josh as he was introduced to the kids.
“Don’t criticize his hobby,” Hal said.
Josh shook every Flint kid’s hand and made a little small talk; the small dressing room felt like a busy beehive. Britta had a beet-red face the entire time, well obscured by her hair, and Dana hid behind her father’s legs.
Another knock at the door brought in Louise. Whereas talking to Josh had been merely exciting, the introduction to Louise brought the older kids, including Hal, over the top. Even Britta shed her wall of hair and tried to get a word in with her.
Rick watched his gang with amusement.
Like kids before the Christmas tree.
Josh and Louise were both unknown people to them but at the same time familiar faces, from TV shows and the occasional kids’ movie. Josh acted like a big brother with Charles and Agnes, moved Britta out of her reserve by flirting a little with her, and even got a giggle out of Dana-in-hiding, now bravely beside her oldest sister. Louise, on the other hand, kept a certain distance. It was like she was on autopilot, saying the right things at the right time. Rick caught her several times watching Dana, quietly observing.
Maternal feelings of a childless superstar? That’s unfair. What do I know about her, really?
After a few minutes, another production assistant came in and declared, “On set, please!”
Rick noticed that with that command both Josh and Louise turned some internal switch, and they became two professionals again. A last smile, much less brilliant, hugs around, and off they went, following the production assistant to the soundstage.
The next hour or so they watched the set rehearsal, the first test takes, and then the real takes. Dana’s batteries were used up, and she became restless, and Rick feared that she would start making noises soon. It was a fascinating spectacle, but Dana came first. After the wrap of the first scene, he tapped Laurie on the shoulder.
“Is there a place where I can sit or lie down with Dana? She’s getting cranky.”
“Sure,” Laurie said and showed him and Dana the lounge area, where a cold cuts and fruit buffet was feeding the hungry team. As the shooting was in full swing, only two other people occupied the space—actors from the soundstage next door it seemed, as they wore strange-looking military costumes.
Maybe a science fiction movie?
Rick mused, and he picked some melon pieces from the buffet for Dana. He then settled down in one of the fantastically comfy recliner chairs, watched Dana eat, and listened to the surroundings. Then Dana came over for a little hug time.
How comfortable, indeed. After a hard week and morning, hugging my little baby . . .
Rick fell asleep.
When Laurie woke him up half an hour later, Dana was gone.
They had finished the scene for the second take, and Roger was still not happy. Josh, Walter Brenner, and Louise were fully concentrated; it kept getting better and better.
“But we are not there yet,” Roger exclaimed. “The last bit of spice is missing—we need to take it a little bit further. We’ll do two more takes to get where we want to. Otherwise, no lunch for all three of you.”
Laurie came hurrying to his side and whispered to his ear.
“What? A kid?” Roger groaned and turned to the crew. “We have a kid missing on the premises! What imbecile has allowed a kid onto the set?” Laurie shrunk visibly, but of course she had been only the bearer of bad news.
Always the comedians, Walter and Louise stepped back and left Josh standing in front of Roger. He timidly raised his hand. “That imbecile is me, Rog.”
“And who let the kid loose? This is a dangerous place! Electricity, heavy equipment, trampling masses, hot lights, prop guns, don’t let me get started about what can happen to a lone kid here. Who lost the kid?”
“That’s me!” Rick said, coming forward with Hal. Agnes, Britta, and Charles stayed behind the camera. “I’d appreciate some help finding Dana. She is three years old, has shoulder-long . . .”
Roger threw some German efficiency into action. “We need no description, there is only one three-year-old on the whole studio campus. Where last seen?”
“I fell asleep with her in my arms in the lounge. I woke up, and she was gone,” Rick explained. Louise watched him, poor father. And poor baby. Little Dana had been the one watching everything from the secure place behind her father’s or her sister’s legs.
“Laurie, get security in here. Have them check stages 21, 22, and 28,” Roger directed. He turned to the crew, activated the public address system. “Listen up, a little kid is missing. Three years old. Split up and systematically search the soundstage and the admin rooms. Shooting is suspended, all teams back here in fifteen for report! Laurie, get us a floor plan of each level.
Zack, zack, zack, eins, zwei, drei
. . .” he quoted his idol, Billy Wilder, and clapped his hands.
“Thanks,” Rick said. Louise felt bad for him. First Dana missing and now stopping a multimillion-dollar film production.
Roger fumed at Josh. “I own you for this! Louise, Josh, use the fifteen minutes to improve the scene still ahead of us!”
The crew started searching the stage, looking behind every box, into every room and cupboard. Some security gorillas appeared and started searching the stages close by, also interrupting the shooting for two other productions.
Rick, the kids, and Hal helped as best as they could, shouting Dana’s name to come out, no fear. But Dana was nowhere to be found.
Louise and the other actors had gone back to their dressing rooms. Josh and Walter wanted to do some improvisation in their part of the scene, while Louise was craving to be alone for a few minutes. The schedule today had been tiring, and she wasn’t feeling her best anyway. A welcome break, if not for the wrong reason. She had Emile make her an herbal tea, went to her dressing room, and put on some light music. Paul Simon started crooning about whales and blue light.
What wrong with you, Lou-baby? Two weeks ago you would have taken your script and run through it, or organized the next day with Emile. Tired, tired, tired.