Flirting With Magick (13 page)

“Yeah,” I had a sudden idea and began making another big ball of
snow. “It just feels weird, like we’re not all on the same page now.”

“Are you still happy with what you and I are doing?” The snow breasts were getting bigger by the second.

I swallowed. “Of course. It’s fun and uncomplicated.” I was such a
good liar when I wasn’t lying to Kate. “Without all the bullshit. I mean
, they’re different to us, and I don’t want anything more.”

“Uh, okay.” Only one side of his face was illuminated by the
streetlamp, and I caught his lips tightening into a straight line. I realised
that I'd unintentionally made it sound as though I'd rather eat slugs
than be in a relationship with him. I thought I’d better ease up a bit.
“Sorry, I’m, um, fucked up about men at the moment anyway, so I’m certainly not wanting anything serious. I mean you
are
gorgeous...“ I
was beginning to ramble. “Could you please just answer the question
now, so I can shut up?”

“
Okay.” He gave me an amused grin. “Yeah, the dynamic’s changed
a bit, but as long as we’re cool, I don’t think it matters what they do. I think it would be worse if they were fighting.”

“Hmm true. Can I ask you another question?”

“Sure.”

“What happened with Bianca?”

He rounded out the snow-girl’s hips, “She made things really difficult
.
Hated me spending time with the group, away from her... always askin
g
about other girls... watching me like a hawk at gigs. She was really clingy
and insecure. It was just too much hard work, and it was affecting things
with the band.”

“
Gosh, she sounds
like a nightmare; no wonder you’re off relationships."

"Tell me about it."

“How did you break it off?”

“
It was after a gig one night, just before we got signed." He starte
d to carve features into the snowgirl's face then shook his head, adding
more snow to her breasts instead. "I had to make a decision, and I realised
the band was making me happier than she was. So I told her she shou
ld
go back home and find someone who could give her what she wanted.”

“How did that go?”

“Oh, she was upset, but I think she knew I was right.”

“And then you became a manwhore.”

“I thought you said you’d forgotten that conversation.” He picked
up a ball of snow and threw it at me.

“I remembered that bit.” I laughed and threw one back. “By the way, your snow girl is going to topple over if you make those things
any bigger.” I turn backed to my statue, moulded a second ball and
placed it at the base of the cylinder.

“So are you going to tell me about Josh, seeing as we’re discussing
fucked up relationships?” He frowned at my slowly emerging work of
art. “Is that what I think you’re making?”

I took a deep breath. “It was weird. Things were going along quite
well I thought, and then one day he just tells me he’s taking a job in
Sydney. I didn’t even know he was looking for work; I thought he
was happy where he was. And the thing is, the new job wasn’t even
necessarily better.“ My final and most logical conclusion was that he
just didn't want to be with me anymore. I kept this bit to myself. It
would hurt too much to say it out loud.

“That’s harsh,” he said sincerely then turned to look at my now
finished, four-foot snow penis. “That’s not based on mine, is it?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. It’s not to scale.”

“No, it looks about right to me."

He brushed some snow off the head of his completed snow girl. “So did you break up straight away?”

I stood up after applying some finishing touches. “Yeah, one day I was happy with my boyfriend; the next day he leaves.”

“Can I just say it sounds like you’re better off without him?”

“Yeah, you’re right, but now you know why I’m still a bit gun shy.
It hurt a lot. So I think it’s actually best for me if I change the way I have boyfriends; have a bit more casual sex with guys I would never normally have looked at twice before.”

“Like me?” He blew his fringe off his face.

Shit, I'd done it again. “I looked more than twice at you, Scott.”
Yeah
,
me and the whole female contingent of every pub and club you play at.
“But at
least you know you’re safe; I’m not going to propose to you anytime soon.”

He smiled his sexy, cheeky smile and held out his hand for me to join him while we stood back and admired our works of art.

“Can we go back inside?” I shivered as the snow began to settle on my shoulders.

He pulled out his phone from his pocket and took a photo of our
masterpieces. “Only to prove to you that that statue really is to scale.”

Before your trip, visualise a blue bubble surrounding your vehicle
that stays for the duration of the journey. Nothing can penetrate the
bubble, including negative thoughts.

WE ROLLED SLUGGISHLY OFF
each other's lack of enthusiasm when
Sunday arrived. Still tired because we had spent most of the night talking
after spa baths and snow sculpting, we had to get home and prepare for
the working week. Scott drove, and I sat in the passenger seat beside
him while Kate and Nathan snuggled together in the back. Much of the
conversation with Kate was still fresh in my mind. She had brought out
my growing feelings for Scott, and talking about Josh again had opene
d up old wounds.

“Do you want to stay at my place?” Kate asked Nathan

“If you want me to,” Nathan replied.

“
Oh God,” I mumbled without thinking and noticed the suggestio
n of resentment in my tone, hoping no one heard me.

“
Of course I do,” Kate whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear.

This felt strange. In times past, it had always been me in the proverbial
back seat with a boyfriend while Kate was riding shot gun with her
good time guy.

I looked over at Scott, his eyes were on the road, and he looked as
exhausted as I felt. I wondered what he’d say if I asked him the same
thing. He looked a bit distracted. Perhaps it was just tiredness. Perhaps
he was worried about the current economic climate. Maybe he was
thinking about how he’d just realised how in love he was with me.

Maybe not.

Instead I turned around to see Kate and Nathan cuddling close
together on the back seat. I gave them a wink. “Lapping it up while it
lasts, hey guys?” I giggled and turned back. Scott looked in his rear view
mirror then shot me a sideways glance. His look was unsettling but not
moreso than the absence of Kate's usual retort.

I turned around again, smiling, only to have it wiped away by he
r silent scowl.

“What?” I asked her. “I was just joking.”

She responded with an icy grimace and stared out the window. I met Nathan’s eyes as he raised his brows and gave me a half smile-– an unspoken, “uh oh.”

Oops.

Shit.

I stared longingly at the fields and trees as they rushed past, feeli
ng
suffocated by the tension inside the Tarago. The acres of flat land would
offer no place to hide anyway. All of a sudden Scott excitedly turned
the radio up, and I recognised a familiar guitar riff. He beamed at me as
one of their more popular live songs filled the cabin. From the corner
of my eye, I saw Nathan mimic his drumming while Kate did a sit down
dance in her seat. Taking the opportunity, I turned around again and smiled apologetically. Still nothing. What the hell was up her arse?

When the song was over, Kate addressed Scott, again ignoring me.
“Scott, can you please stop off at the supermarket coming up? I just
need to grab a few things.”

Scott pulled into the car park, still wearing an ear to ear grin. We sat
in the minivan and waited while Kate and Nathan picked up their supplies.

“I think Kate’s pissed off with you.”

No shit, Sherlock. “It was a joke. I didn’t say anything that wasn
’t
true, and she knows it. I guess it's just, this thing with Nathan is so
different to her usual style," I sighed. “I’ll sort it out when we get home.
Hey, is that the first time you heard yourselves on the radio?”

“Yes,” he bit his lip excitedly then turned to look out the windscreen
.
“It’s surreal; we did all the internet stuff, got it all out there, but to
have something we’ve worked toward for ages just be played like that
, kind of gives us a bit more validation.”

I studied his gorgeous profile, his green eyes dancing. “So why’d it take so long?”

“The lineup wasn’t working until we got Dan and Nathan in.” He
tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and turned back towards me, on
e
arm resting on the steering wheel, the other one on the seat. “Also a lot
of the stuff we did up till now was just too limited to get the airplay
we needed. I think it just took that long for all the pieces to fall into
place, and we really needed to work out what direction we had to tak
e to make our music more popular. “

“Oh, so you sold out?”

“Do you even know what that means?” He narrowed his eyes,
frowning at me. This wasn't good. What the hell was wrong with me today? “I think we just matured and got better.”

“
But you had fans back then. You were played on youth radio, weren
’t
you? Your old stuff's great!” Most of this knowledge was thanks to
Google, not to mention the amount of times I’d seen them play in the
last few weeks. I swore I was trying to compliment him here. It just
wasn’t quite coming out that way. "I thought it was better, artistically
, to be indie."

“Yes, but we have need to expand the market.”

“So is your music you’re writing for you or for the fans?”

“What? Both I guess.”

“I like that song, but it’s nothing like the other stuff that you’ve
been playing
—
the stuff that you guys really come alive with when yo
u play. Are you just going to keep writing commercial stuff or do what
you really enjoy? I just don’t think that song’s really you. And the stu
ff that is, is so much better.”

“We have to earn a living. I don't want to be working casual shift
s
at the music store for the rest of my life.” Now he was scowling at me.

“You're university educated, surely there's something better you
can do, that would earn you a living without sacrificing your creativity
.”
Again, I was trying to be helpful, but when he looked at me again, hi
s eyes were cold and dark. His hands clenched on the steering wheel. "All I mean is, what happens if you do everything because you think
you should, not because it's what you really want, and then it doesn't
work out? What else are you going to do?”
Just shut up, Abby. You're making it worse.

“Look, Abby, can you drop it now? What the fuck would you kno
w
anyway? I was happy a few minutes ago; now you’ve fucked up my day.
Thanks a lot.” He turned away from me and looked out his window.

“Scott, I wasn’t... I didn’t...” It hadn't come out the way I wanted it to. What I was trying to say was that
Reckless Choice
was good; they were good without resorting to current trends. I ended up making it
sound as though I thought he was a dickhead for making all the wrong
decisions. But Scott was right; what the fuck did I know?

The back door slid open, and the other couple climbed in. The tensio
n that had dissipated just moments before had returned so gelatinous I
would have needed a spoon to get out of there. I was really messing it
up today, big time. It was true that Kate got bored with guys easily,
but she seemed to be extra sensitive to any kind of criticism towards
this particular relationship. Maybe it really was serious. As for Scott, we
ll,
it was his life, his career, and frankly none of my business. I wished
I'd remembered that before I opened my fat mouth.

We finally made it to our block after the most excruciating fifteen
minutes of my life. Kate thanked Scott for driving, grabbed her bag, and headed straight up to her unit, Nathan following behind slowly.
Scott lifted my bag out of the back and dropped it down on the ground.

“Scott... wait,” I pleaded as he got back into the car and drove off without saying a word.

I caught up with Nathan at the bottom of the stairs, a lump forming
in my throat. After such a nice weekend, I had managed to mess it
up in the space of a car trip. He gave me a warm smile, and I felt like hugging him, but instead a tear overflowed.

“I’m so sorry, Nathan,” I said, barely managing to control my voice
.
Above me, I could see Kate’s shadow as she walked along the balcony
to her door.

“It’s alright,” Nathan said, loudly enough for her to hear. “Kate will
never get bored with me. I have a secret weapon.” Kate’s head appeared
over the railing, Nathan continued, “It’s my naked gorilla dance.” He
put his bag down and stood back far enough for Kate to see him and proceeded to take off his shirt.