Flirting With Maybe (2 page)

“Do you ever talk to him?” he asked.

“We’ve emailed a couple times over the years. He always makes it seem like things are great and he’s getting his act together, but then I go months without hearing from him again. It’s been a year since he wrote. Sometimes I think he forgets I exist.”

She stared at the river through the windshield, and Ryan wanted to touch her face—anything to make her frown go away.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you all this,” she whispered, still looking straight ahead.

“Maybe you just need to get it off your chest,” he offered.

She looked at him with such openness it made him feel naked for a second, like they were sharing some crazy soul-bearing moment, and he had to swallow. He’d never felt something so intense with anyone, as if a mutual understanding had been forged without the need for words.

“I could probably tell you anything, huh?” she whispered.

“You could tell me anything.”
You could tell me everything, and I’d want to hear it.

“And you’d never tell a soul.”

“No.”

There was trust in her eyes, and his desire to know everything about her suddenly became a need. Why was this girl affecting him like this?

She took a deep breath and reached down for her seat lever, leaning her seat all the way back. He felt his eyes go wide.
Oh, God, she’s lying down in my car. Making herself comfortable. Why is she lying down? Should I do something?
He didn’t know what to do with his hands, and he didn’t want her to know he was freaking out, so he rubbed his palms up and down his thighs. Brooke looked up at Ryan and let out a sweet laugh.

“You’re always so nervous around me.”

She sat up and leaned over his lap, sending Ryan’s heart into overdrive and making his blood pump to places he’d rather it not. With one hand she grabbed the seat lever next to his door and with the other hand she pushed his seat back until it was lying down. He went stiffly backward, as he stared up at her.

“Relax, Ry.” She patted his cheek, then lay back in her own seat. “I’m not gonna bite you.”

He sputtered out a nervous laugh. It took a few minutes for his pulse to calm. Ryan stared up at the shabby ceiling. He could tell she just wanted to chill and talk. He could manage that, right?

“Why do you always smell like cake?” he asked, immediately feeling stupid.

She giggled. “It’s my lotion.”

There was lotion that smelled edible? People were geniuses. He noticed she was watching him thoughtfully, so he tried to think of something to say.

“You’re an only child, right?” he asked.

“Yeah. I always wished I had a big brother.”

“Me, too,” he said. “Only child. Wanted a big brother.”

“Sucks for us.” Brooke stuck out her fist and he bumped it with his. Ryan wondered if she ever felt as alone as him. He got along great with his mom, but she worked long hours as a nurse. He’d always wished for a loud houseful of people like some of his friends had.

“Have you applied to college?” he asked.

“Yep. I applied to UNC. My grandfather went there. He played baseball, too.”

“Wow, UNC.” That was kind of far—at least six hours away.

“I’ll be glad to get away. Ron the con only wants me to apply to in-state schools, but this is my dream.”

Just then Brooke gasped and tapped Ryan’s arm, pointing out the window. A doe and her fawn were walking across a path ten feet away from the car. Ryan glanced at Brooke and saw tenderness in her face as she watched.

“They look happy,” she whispered.

She looked sort of wistful, and he wondered what was going on in that head of hers.

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” Brooke asked.

“Uh . . .” He shrugged.

“I know two pretty sophomore girls who like you. Sarah what’s-her-name and that short girl Michelle with the brown, curly hair. I heard them talking about you in the bathroom.” Brooke lifted her eyebrows.

“Oh, Michelle Vasquez and Sarah Picard? No, they’re just my friends.”

“Mmhm . . . is this part of your shy thing?” She grinned, making him squirm a little.

“Nah,” he said. “I’m serious.”

He stared at her lips and wondered what she’d do if he leaned over and kissed her. He imagined her opening her mouth for him and going wild for his touch, though he knew realistically she’d be more likely to smack him.

He tried to concentrate as she continued talking. “Being single kind of sucks. I’m sure you’ll hear about this if you haven’t already, but I was dating J.J. for a while. I’ve known him forever, so I should have known better than to go out with him. You know J.J.?”

Ryan nodded, appalled. Everyone knew the all-star varsity pitcher J.J. McDonald. Did Brooke have any idea what kind of shit that guy talked in the locker room? If any girl could hear him, she’d steer clear. Or maybe not. Girls were kind of weird like that.

Brooke must have been able to read the revulsion on his face.

“I know,” she said with a sigh. “He’s a jerk, right? I thought he’d be nicer since we were friends for so long.”

“What happened?”

Brooke hesitated, parting her lips and then closing them again before working up her nerve.

“You can’t tell anyone about this, okay?” She gave him a serious, imploring look. “Because I hate when people get in my business, and everyone freaking worships J.J.”

Ryan knew this. J.J. was one of those popular guys with a big mouth who could get away with anything—a jerk one minute, then class clown, then a charmer, and back to a jerk. J.J.’d always been cool to Ryan, nicknaming him “the Kid,” but he didn’t like the idea of him dating Brooke.

“Yeah,” he said. “I mean, I won’t tell anyone.”

She looked down at her fingers. “He got mad ’cause I didn’t wanna do it with him. He said I was the prudest non-virgin he’s ever met.”

Ryan’s gut twisted in a fit of jealousy, which he knew was stupid. Brooke’s gaze dropped and her shoulders slumped, like she was ashamed.

Whatever her past, she was amazing to him. Leave it to a dick like J.J. to make her feel bad and use her past to try and manipulate her.

“He’s a douche,” Ryan said, knowing full well he’d never have the balls to say it to J.J.’s face. But at least it made Brooke relax a little.

“I had a boyfriend my whole tenth-grade year,” Brooke explained. “He was kind of a troublemaker, though. He got transferred to this alternative school because he had a lot of issues. Fighting and drugs.”

“Oh . . .” Ryan couldn’t picture her with someone like that. Apparently Brooke was one of those girls who went for assholes. Even more of a sign that he was crazy to feel this way about her.

She seemed to read his mind, and started to explain her past actions.

“He wasn’t always bad. When we were together, he made me laugh. I thought he’d chill out and grow up. Then I found out he was cheating. Guess I wasn’t enough for him.” She picked at a string on the bottom of her shirt, the hurt obvious in her voice.

They were both lying on their sides now, facing each other. Ryan was surprised how comfortable he felt, given the subject matter.

“Well then, I’m glad you’re single.”
Dude, Ryan, shut up.
“I mean, not because . . . I—”

Brooke’s giggle cut him off. She reached over and put her fingers on his sleeve. His skin tingled under the cotton.

“Yeah, there are worse things than being single.” Brooke looked at the clock and sighed. “I guess we should go.”

Damn. She was right, but he didn’t want to go. He wanted everything outside the car to disappear. For a second, Ryan felt reckless.

“Wanna put my seat up for me?” he asked. “Since you’re so good at it and all?”

She laughed and gave his arm a shove. “Nice try, Ry.”

Ryan felt a little more like himself now that he’d had the nerve to flirt, earning him another gorgeous smile.

When he drove her home, she sat in the car for a minute, looking up at her two-story brick rambler, which put Ryan and his mom’s little town house to shame.

“Thanks for driving me. It was nice. Maybe you could drive me home again another time?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Definitely. Anytime.”

Brooke smoothed back some stray strands of hair. “And . . . thanks for listening to me babble.”

She kissed her fingertips and touched them to his cheek before disappearing inside her house.

CHAPTER TWO

A
t practice that day, Ryan hit better than he ever had, baseballs banging off the gym’s high ceiling. J.J. couldn’t get a single strike off him. Steve, the third baseman, gave J.J. a hard time when they took a water break.

“How are we gonna beat the Raiders next week if you can’t even strike out a sophomore?” Steve smacked Ryan on the butt with his glove to let him know he was joking. Steve was a senior and always keeping an eye on Ryan.

“Shut up, Steve,” J.J. said. “At least I’m not Brooke Bennett’s little bitch like
Ry-Ry McPhearson
.” Some of the guys laughed, but Ryan just looked away. He knew J.J. was pissed because he wasn’t used to losing, but he wished he wouldn’t drag Brooke into it. Especially after what she’d told him.

“Hey, McPhearson,” J.J. continued, “quit wasting your time, bro. Brooke flirts but she don’t put out. And definitely not for a tenth grader.”

Ryan’s face heated with a sudden, intense anger.

J.J. walked up and stood over Ryan as he sat at the bottom of the bleachers, staring at the glove in his hands. He told himself to ignore J.J.’s taunts. Everyone knew he was a smack talker. Ryan was the newbie on the team and didn’t want to do anything to get himself demoted to JV, but J.J. just wouldn’t let it go. He stood over Ryan, smirking.

“She’s a tease, man. You wanna hang with her, you better get used to having blue balls.”

Ryan stood up and looked the tall, lanky pitcher in the eye. His body was tight and he dropped his glove to the floor, hands balled up. J.J. grinned in amusement as the team huddled around them.

“Damn, the Kid’s got it bad,” J.J. said.

Their coach, who’d been watching it all play out from a chair, hollered without getting up.

“Quit actin’ like a bunch of dang girls! Gimme ten laps around the gym. All of you! We don’t need this horse crap with our first game in a week. Go on. Get your asses out there!”

The guys didn’t hold grudges. After their near fight in the gym, J.J. was cool with Ryan again. He joked and swatted his butt with his glove, still calling him “the Kid.” Ryan would have paid good money for a different nickname, but it stuck.

The next week at their first game, Ryan did his best to act like the older guys. He ignored the girls yelling in the stands. Practically half the sophomore girls had come out to cheer him on. He was next up at bat. He licked his lips, spit to the side, and scuffed his cleats in the dirt next to home plate.

“You got this, Ry,” he heard Brooke say as he readied his stance. Adrenaline poured through his system as he honed his sights on the pitcher’s body movements, his windup signaling a fastball on its way, then he crushed the ball for a double, sending two players home. Ryan was in the zone. He could no longer hear the cheers or jeers, even from Brooke.

He wouldn’t allow himself to glance toward the dugout or stands while he was in position at right field; this set of batters was all about the pop-ups and he had to keep his eyes open. Between innings he sneaked glances at Brooke as she called out the next lineups and prepared water bottles for the team.

“Pitcher keeps catching you with that curveball to the outside,” she said to Steve during the seventh inning stretch.

“Yeah, I know.” He frowned, tapping his bat on his heel to knock off a clump of grass.

“Just adjust your stance and go in for it,” she advised.

“Yup.” And that’s exactly what Steve did at his next at bat, earning himself a single.

After the game Ryan walked casually to the parking lot with the other guys, pretending not to notice the girls waiting for them. He kept a straight face when Brooke jogged up.

“Hey. Good game, Ry.”

He felt the eyes of his teammates on them. He gave a nod and put his bat bag in the trunk of his car. He was afraid if he looked at her, she’d turn him into a grinning ball of mush, and they’d all be able to see exactly how he felt.

She leaned toward him and whispered, a trace of humor in her voice. “You’re welcome, tough guy.” Then she walked away, high-fiving the other guys as she went and spouting off ball talk that they responded to as if she was one of them. No other girl could be taken seriously like that. She even complimented J.J. on his four-inning no-hitter, earning a respectful nod.

Ryan purposely didn’t look at Brooke the next day in the halls. Things had cooled down, but he didn’t want to give J.J. a reason to talk any more shit. He didn’t want trouble on the team, but most of all he didn’t want any drama to spill over and affect Brooke. Any time he spent with her would have to be without prying eyes on them.

Brooke surprised Ryan after school by waiting next to his car.

“Too cool for me now?” she asked. Her smile was small and not as confident as usual, stirring bad feelings in him. Ryan suddenly felt like a complete ass. He’d only done it for her own good. Hell, he didn’t think she’d care that much.

Now he wanted to reassure her. “You know you’re the cool one, Brooke.” His cheek pulled to the side in a grin. “Wanna ride?” he asked. In the pause before she answered, he felt the familiar stretch of nervousness and excitement in his stomach when he didn’t know if she’d accept or reject.

Brooke bit her bottom lip and nodded.

From that day on, Ryan drove Brooke home after school. Some days he drove a couple of his sophomore friends, too, but Brooke always had shotgun. The other guys were just as enamored in her presence, hanging on her every word, smiling like a bunch of geeks and goofing off to impress her. She laughed at all the right times and actually seemed to like their attention.

But when it was just the two of them they never went straight home. He would drive her for fries and a Coke. Or they’d go back to the state park and just talk. As the weather got warmer, they walked down by the Potomac River together, putting their feet in the water and trying to catch frogs. Ryan never knew there was so much to talk about with a girl. Some nights when they came home from practice, they’d chat online for hours about nothing and everything.