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Authors: Natasha Thomas

Tags: #romance, #erotic, #erotica, #love, #adult, #contemporary, #new, #hea, #series, #mc romance

Floating (7 page)

BOOK: Floating
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Standing beside his truck, Nate hugged me tighter than he ever had before, literally squeezing the breath out of me. Inhaling deeply, he took a step back and held my small hands tightly in his bigger ones saying,

“I’m going to miss you so much, Ronnie. I’ll come back to visit, as often as I can.” I was openly crying now, and I’m sure I looked pretty fucking frightening, too. I ugly cried. I was the definition, of the ‘ugly cry’. There’s no other explanation for it: snot, puffy eyes, blotchy cheeks the works.

 

“Promise?” I asked in a small croaky voice.

 

Nodding solemnly, more serious than I’d ever seen him, he replied, “I promise, Sunshine. I’ll call when I’m settled and have a number where you can reach me. I’ll call you all the time then too, Sunshine.” Searching my face to ensure I believed him, I couldn’t bear look at him knowing this was the last time I probably ever would. All I could do was drop my eyes to the driveway and sniffle back my tears.

 

Tilting my chin, Nate regarded me for a minute before pulling me in for another hug. He didn’t say anything else, and neither did I. What could I say? Don’t go. Please don’t leave me; I tried all that already. Honestly, I was in no position to ask for anything from him, and certainly not any of those things. I was just a kid, and I also didn’t want to hold him back, it would be wrong to. No, I ultimately wouldn’t stop him from going. Nate deserved to go out and live a full life filled with great things and experiences. He deserved the opportunity to meet people that saw him for the wonderful, kind, caring man he’d grown into, despite his circumstances and horrible dad. Nate deserved everything good in life. Things he wouldn’t get here. Things I would only be keeping him from if I begged him to stay.

 

He let me go after a few minutes; hoisting himself up into the cab of his truck, he gave me a pain filled glance before closing the door, shutting himself inside the cab. Turning the engine over, he reversed into the street and pulled away. He never looked back. He didn’t wave. There were no brake lights off in the distance to signal he might have stopped and turned around to come back. Just an empty street, and me with an even emptier feeling in the pit of my stomach. That was the last I heard, or saw Nate for the next four years.

 

He never kept his promise to visit or call. He never sent a letter, a postcard. Nothing. I was unbelievably hurt at first, to the point it bordered on despair, later that hurt morphed into anger. I was angry that he lied to me, and broke his promises. Angry he’d forgotten about me, so easily. I was even angrier that I must have meant so little to him that he could ignore our friendship. I was just fucking ANGRY about everything.

 

Eventually, after about a year, I managed to reach a level of acceptance. Acceptance that he was probably busy living. That he’d undoubtedly met lots of interesting people, maybe even girls to date that were taking up his time now. That thought distressed me immensely, at first. I was possibly even a little jealous, okay, so I was a lot jealous, imagining all the girls that would get his time and attention. I knew I was only fifteen now but still; Nate was one of those boys that touched your heart and your soul. He was impossible to forget. Nate was also, more than likely, working a great deal. He loved what he did, and it showed. He put in extra hours at the mechanic shop here in town all the time, for no extra pay, just BECAUSE he loved it. Here at home, he used it as an escape, as an excuse not to have to go home. There, wherever he was now, I knew it was somewhere in Dallas, but Dallas was a big place so he would be like a needle in a haystack, he was probably enjoying the extra money the long hours would bring in. Being able to afford to buy himself nicer things than he’d ever been able to have while he was here was a luxury that he deserved.

 

Moving on with my own life eventually won out in the end. I didn’t have a choice in the grand scheme of things. Nate had, and I would just have to, too.

 

Carmella and I continued to be the best of friends, she was all I really had, not that, it was why we were best friends or anything. Verity became even more heinous, if that can be believed. She was cattier, sneakier, and had recently lost her virginity to a senior boy on the baseball team at school. Verity spent her days bragging about it, like it made her special or something. She quickly learnt it didn’t. Jason Masters slept with any girl that paid him attention, and Verity was no different than the hordes that came before her, and would surely come after. After that humiliating experience, Verity turned into a massive whore. Practically having sex with any guy that had a pulse. I’m not even sure that was a requirement sometimes. I don’t even know if she knew her number anymore. I would guess it would be in the high twenties at least. Disgusting, I know.

 

Throughout the year I turned sixteen, a few guys asked me out for pizza, or to go the movies with them. I always turned them down. It’s not that I didn’t like boys, I did, it just never felt right. In hindsight I realise now that my heart was already taken. I had given it away to a sweet boy on a curb, outside my house when I was nine.

 

Over the summer before I left to begin my first year of college, I finally finished my physical transformation into womanhood. Thank God, it’d taken long enough. My hips had flared, my legs gotten longer, the occasional pimple, come on admit it, we all get them from time to time, was now a thing of the past. I filled out a large C-cup to small D-cup, and Carmella said I now resemble a 50’s style pinup girl. I didn’t see it, but I suppose she must have been right, because I heard the very same description come from a few boys at school, when I overheard them talking to their friends in the hallways.

 

More guys than ever before asked me out, or looked my way, where they never had previously. They wolf whistled, made crude comments, and I generally wasn’t going unnoticed anymore. I hated it. It made me feel cheap and used, not that I was, I just felt that way.

 

I owned a mirror. Don’t get me wrong; I’d spent many hour in front of it, examining myself back, forward, from every angle available. I just didn’t see what everyone else did. My mom told me I was beautiful, Dad told me I was a precious jewel over and over again, other people complimented me, too. Nevertheless, it was impossible for me to recognise what all the hype was about. Sure, I wasn’t a wildebeest, but I was just average in my eyes, and that was okay with me. Average was good. Average equalled staying under the radar undetected, and that was where I liked to be.

 

Three weeks into the most glorious summer ever, I call it glorious because I would be leaving for college soon, and at the same time, I would finally, be getting away from Verity. Thank fuck for that. A day I never thought would come did indeed occur.

 

I was on the front lawn of my parent’s house, stretching before I went for my usual mid-morning run. I’d taken up running in my junior year of high school as a way of staying in shape, and also getting the hell away from Verity for an hour or two every day. Trust me, this was imperative for my sanity and her continued survival. Wearing my tight, short, and I mean short, they barely covered my ass, running shorts, and an emerald green racer back Lycra tank, with built in shelf bra, and my Nike sneakers, I looked up, and froze in place mid-stretch.

 

A gorgeous black Boss 428 had driven up and parked across the street outside Nate’s parents’ house. The rumble of the exhaust, the purr of the engine, and the rugged lines of all American muscle made me shiver. It was a work of art. The first thing that sprung to mind was, ‘Nate would love that car.’ It was his dream car. He’d spoken about being able to afford one and rebuilding it from scratch, when he was older, many times over the years.

 

Shaking those thoughts off, because let’s face it, I should be well and truly over any thoughts of Nathaniel Burke by now, I went back to stretching until I heard a deep, gravelly voice ask,

“Ronnie?”

 

Slowly turning towards the man who spoke, my heart started pounding; my palms had begun sweating too. I knew that voice. It was a voice that visited me in my dreams almost nightly, regardless of the years gone by. It was one that I could pick out of a thousand. Turning to fully face him, I couldn’t help, but let out a gasp at what I saw. My. God. He was sexy; so very handsome now, not that he wasn’t before.

 

At the same six foot three, but now weighing more like 240 pounds of defined muscle, Nate was breathtaking. The black t-shirt he was wearing stretched tightly across his broad chest, his shoulders were so wide they resembled a line backer’s, not a mechanic’s. Powerful denim clad thighs, with, heavily veined thick forearms made up one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen. My gaze finally made its way up, and stopped on his face. Chiselled cheekbones, a strong square jaw covered in a five o’clock shadow that looked awesome on him, and made him look so much more mature, he was even more rugged and manly than he was when I last saw him at nineteen. He wore his same blue-black hair styled in its usual well kept, Mohawk; and his eyes. His beautiful moss green eyes looked over me like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Nate looked older now. Not in a bad way, no, not at all. Just older and more worldly.

 

I know in reality he was, it had been four years after all. What I meant was he looked harder, a little rougher maybe. The years had been more than kind looks wise, and in his maturity Nate was nothing short of delicious.

 

Blinking rapidly, he took a step toward me while at the same time I took a step back, placing my hands on my hips. Before he could speak I asked, “Is there something I can help you with?”

 

Nate narrowed his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched. It was a tell-tale sign that he was amused. “Sure is Ronnie. You could get your ass over here and give me a hug. I missed you like crazy, girl.”

 

I almost laughed out loud. I mean really? He missed me? I snorted out a very unladylike sound that would have made my mom cringe, and took another step backwards, away from him. I was proud of myself for not giving in to the overwhelming urge to launch myself into his big strong arms like I used to. But I wasn’t the same little girl anymore, and he sure as hell wasn’t the same boy I once knew. “I don’t tend to hug strangers, sorry. It gives them the wrong idea. They can turn into creepy stalker types, and I have no desire to be carted off and kidnapped, only to end up in pieces in the woods somewhere.”

 

Glaring openly at me now, I notice Nate’s hands open and close, settling on tightly clenched fists at his sides. “Had a lot of those, Ronnie?” he asked with a raised brow, before adding, “Creepy stalker types, I mean,” for clarification.

 

Shaking my head at him, I scowl and make a move to walk away from him without answering. I don’t get a chance though. His big hand clamps down on my wrist, not painfully, but in a grasp I know I can’t break, and he spins me to face him. “Where’s my sweet Sunshine that I’ve missed for fucking years, Ronnie? What happened to her?” How dare he? How dare he ask what happened to the girl he once knew when he was the one who left, never to be heard from again.

 

I blow out a frustrated breath and laugh humourlessly. What a dick. “Hmmm, let’s see. She shrivelled up and died in a hole when her best friend took off, never came back, never called, never fucking anything. It’s hard to be all sunshine and lollipops when you’re fucking sad all the time. Guess you wouldn’t know anything about that though, would you? You were the one off living it up, after all.” I arch my brow, challenging him to deny anything I’ve just said.

 

Pulling me closer, Nate cups my cheeks and looks straight into my eyes, “I know, I’m an asshole, and I’m so fucking sorry for not calling or visiting you, Ronnie, but you have to know, if I had, I would’ve come back. I missed you so fucking much that if I heard your voice, or saw your pretty face, I would’ve come straight back for you. I couldn’t do that, Ronnie. I knew nothing was better back here yet, so I couldn’t come back, not until I was stronger, not till I knew I could see you again, and not say fuck it and stay.”

 

I’m shocked. Really, truly shocked. I never imagined that would be the reason he didn’t come home. It sucked, but it was beautiful all at the same time. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t even know if I COULD, think right now. Kissing my temple like he always had when we were younger, Nate inhaled deeply, “But, fuck if I didn’t miss you every day, Ronnie. I wanted to call you, tell you all the shit that was happening with me, and ask all about what was going on with you. It took everything in me not to.”

 

I could understand what he was saying somewhat. I mean, I didn’t completely get it, but it was a start to an explanation that was long overdue. One I deserved, at the very least. Drawing back slightly I cup his jaw, mimicking what he did to me just moments ago. “You mean that?” I had to ask. I needed to know everything he said was the honest to God truth.

 

“Yeah, Ronnie, I meant every last fucking word, Sunshine.” With that I crush him in the biggest hug I’ve given anyone since he left. His cologne invades my senses, and he smells like Davidoff Cool Water, leather, a touch of motor oil and something else that’s all Nate. It’s a smell I’ve missed, a smell that’s always been like coming home to me.

BOOK: Floating
8.53Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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