Fly Away (2 page)

“You've tried to get him to talk?”

“I've tried everything. He says there's nothing wrong. But it's like he's a whole different person.” I bit my bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

“I'm sorry to be such a baby,” I said. “I'm just a little shaken up.”

“Me too,” Arielle said.

“What about Priya?” I asked. “How do you think she's doing?”

“It wasn't Priya's fault, Marnie. Accidents happen. The whole group's timing was off. Emma didn't get enough height for the tuck. I'm sure she doesn't blame Priya.”

What Arielle said was true. No one girl can make or break a stunt on her own. The thrown back tuck is one of the hardest stunts we do. It takes perfectly timed cooperation.

I took a deep breath, forced a smile and changed the subject. “So, you've been pretty intense with your painting lately. You still chatting with that guy online?” Arielle belonged to an online artists' community. Even though she was still in high school, her work was starting to get some serious notice.

Arielle nodded. “He's been so fantastic, Marnie. He's been telling me exactly what I need to do to move my career along.”

“By not doing any shows?” I asked. Arielle had been invited to be part of an exhibition at a local art gallery, but she'd pulled out at the last minute. It didn't make a lot of sense to me.

She laughed. “I'm not quite ready. Besides,” she added, “what does it matter to you? You see my paintings all the time. You must be sick to death of my stuff by now.”

I shook my head. “Impossible. You're the best artist I know.”

Arielle smiled. “More like the only artist you know.”

chapter three

Coach Saylor called while we were making up the daybed for me in Arielle's room. Emma had just come out of surgery to fix a compound collarbone fracture. She was doing fine and had no head injury. She was also out of cheerleading for the rest of the season.

I was so relieved. I had been afraid it was something much worse, especially since Emma had been unconscious. But Coach Saylor told Arielle that sometimes pain makes people pass out.

This was supposed to be our big year. We'd placed second at the provincials the previous two years, and we were better than ever. While nobody came out and said it, we all felt like it was our turn to win it all. I could imagine how Emma was feeling about being out for the season. Emma is low-key and not outwardly competitive, but you never really know what's going on in someone's head. I bet she was pretty bummed.

Nobody, not even Arielle, knew how badly I had wanted to take Sophia Damonte's place as a flyer when she moved away last summer. Shona Bart was promoted instead, from level three. She's really good, so I said nothing. Coach Saylor reminded me I was more valuable as a tumbler and that good tumblers are harder to find than good flyers. I understood, but I was really disappointed. Now here I was, wanting Emma's spot before she'd even been released from hospital. I tried to force the thought out of my head. I had to get some sleep.

Sure enough, I was tired and cranky the next day, and the school day seemed to crawl by. It was mid-January and bitterly cold, the kind of weather that makes me feel sluggish and antisocial. I knew, though, that I needed to talk to Liam. Since when could he cancel plans at the last minute and with no reason? I tracked him down in the cafeteria and stood behind his chair.

Liam and I have rules about lunchtime. We eat lunch together Mondays and Thursdays only. We decided a long time ago that we didn't want to be one of those couples that spend their high-school years stuck together like glue. You can miss out on a lot if you do that.

Liam was sitting with some of his jock buddies. He plays football, and he's on the wrestling team, so he's friendly with a bunch of those guys. Liam sat a little apart from the group, with his head down. He was staring into his chili like it was some kind of science experiment. I put my hand on his shoulder.

He turned around. “Hey, Mar.”

“I know it's not Thursday,” I said, “but we need to talk.”

I pushed his untouched chili aside and perched on the table, my back to the other guys.

“What's up?” Liam asked. He didn't seem annoyed that I was bugging him on one of our “off” days, but he didn't seem happy to see me either. He just seemed…blank.

“That was the second time in a row you ditched geek night.”

He shrugged, almost in slow motion. If I hadn't known better, I would have worried that he was high. But Liam's not like that.

“I had a headache,” he said.

“A bad one?” Maybe he was sick. Maybe he had mono or something.

“A regular headache. No biggie.” He looked at me balefully, his big brown eyes full of annoyance.

“Well then,” I said, “you should have taken a Tylenol and made it out to Eliza's.”

“Chill out, Mar,” he growled.

I hopped down off the table in disgust.

“Hey,” said the guy across the table from Liam, “you gonna eat this chili?”

Liam shook his head, pushed the chili toward his friend and turned back to me. “You have cheerleading tomorrow?”

I nodded.

“What about Thursday? You free on Thursday night?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Then let's do something on Thursday night. Okay?” He reached over and squeezed my arm, his palm warm on my skin.

As I walked away, I realized I hadn't told him about Emma's accident. And he hadn't even asked me how I was.

On Wednesday, when we got to practice, a new girl was there. She had red hair cut in a cute bob. A couple of the younger girls gave her a welcoming hug. She'd been promoted from level three, so they had all been teammates before they became Starlings. Coach Saylor sure hadn't wasted any time replacing Emma.

“Girls,” Coach Saylor said after we gathered on the mats, “as you all know, Emma is recovering from surgery. She was discharged from hospital this morning, and her dad tells me she's doing fine. Arielle bought her a gift from the team”— Coach gestured toward a gift bag sitting on a table in the corner—“so you'll all need to chip in.”

Most of the girls turned to look at the gift bag, and I took the opportunity to check out the new girl. She was a couple of inches taller than me. Maybe fifty kilos. Inconclusive. Flyers tend to be small, but not always. The new girl wasn't too big to be a flyer.

“Please sign the card at the end of practice,” Coach Saylor said. Then she beckoned for the new girl to come forward.

“Girls, this is Lucy O'Reilly. She has agreed to join our team while Emma recovers. Some of you know her from the level-three Cardinals, where she's been a base girl for the past two years.”

Base girl. Base girl. I wondered if anyone else could hear my heart. It was thumping so loud, I thought it would burst out of my chest. Was it possible?

The other girls were clapping. I joined in, flashing Lucy a big smile.

“And since Lucy is a base,” Coach said, “we now have to replace the flyer in Emma's group.”

I couldn't look at Coach Saylor. I was too nervous. I stared at Lucy instead. I waited for Coach to say, “Marnie, we really need you as a tumbler…”

Instead I heard her say, “And I can't think of a better girl for the job of flyer than our own Marnie Goodwood.”

chapter four

The moment we were in Arielle's car and out of earshot of the team, I pounced.

“Did you know?”

She smiled sideways at me. “I really expected you to hound me about it, Marnie! Way to keep your cool.”

I laughed. Self-control is not exactly my strong suit. “Well, I didn't want to disrespect Emma. And I knew you'd never tell me what Coach was planning. You're always so professional. But I'm superexcited!” It had been more than an hour since the coach's announcement, and I still had butterflies in my stomach.

Arielle turned the key in the ignition. “You earned it.”

Something in her voice made me pull myself together. I wondered about Arielle's own feelings. “Did you ever want to be a flyer?”

“If I ever did,” she said, “it was so long ago that I don't remember. I'm way too tall anyway.”

As we pulled out of the parking lot, I wondered how anyone could forget something like that.

I was awake half that night, still hyper from the big news. The next day, the best I could do was coast foggily through the school day. I knew that if I had any hope of getting into the University of Toronto— where Arielle was going in September—I had to pay attention and get my marks up this year and next. But an off day here or there wouldn't kill me, I reasoned. Except that I was headed for a second late night in a row. Liam had agreed to come with me that night to a party at Ashleigh's. Ashleigh was a cheerleader who lived in Tavistock, a smaller town just east of ours.

When I reminded Liam after school, he groaned and said, “Not tonight, Marnie.”

“But you said you would come!” I said.

If he didn't drive, I'd have to find another way to get there. “Okay, Marnie,” he said, as if he was doing me a huge favor.

“I'll go.”

It was a party. As in, a little bit of fun for a change. Sheesh.

Liam and I had pizza at his place before the party. When it was nine thirty and time for us to head out, he balked. He tried to convince me that we were having fun already. We'd played video games until I got frustrated with losing, and then we'd watched a stupid movie. He wanted to start another one. Never mind even trying to get me to go downstairs, where we could make out. He just wanted to sit and stare at the screen.

“But I said I'd go,” I said.

“Just call Ashleigh and tell her you're worried about the roads. It's January.”

“The roads are clear, Liam. It hasn't snowed in a week. We only need to stay for a couple of hours…”

“Fine,” he said. “I'll drop you off.”

What kind of boyfriend does that? “It's not like you have anything better to do!” I said.

“I'm just not in the mood,” he said.

I played my last card. “I made flyer. Finally, after two years of waiting. Don't you think that's worth celebrating?”

He pulled himself to his feet. “It's not a party for you, Marnie. You're just trying to talk me into going.”

He walked to the hall closet to get his coat with all the enthusiasm of a person walking into a dentist's office. I followed in a funk. If he dropped me off, how would I get home?

“You know what?” I said. “Don't even bother. I wouldn't want to put you out.”

I grabbed my coat and walked out the door. Once I was around the corner, I called Arielle on my cell phone.

“Hey,” she said. “Where you calling from?”

“A snowbank,” I told her. “I just walked out on Liam. Are you at Ashleigh's yet?”

She told me she was partway there, but that she'd turn around to get me. That's what real friends do.

By the time she arrived, I was shivering. I climbed into the backseat. Lucy O'Reilly, Emma's replacement, was riding shotgun. That was so like Arielle, being sure to include the new girl. I'd known Arielle long enough not to be jealous. I sank into the warm upholstery and sighed.

“So, what happened?” Arielle asked.

“He was supposed to come. He bailed at the last minute. So I blew him off.”

“I'm sorry, Mar.”

“No biggie,” I answered. “I don't need him there. He'll just bring me down.”

“Marnie's boyfriend,” Arielle explained to Lucy, “is, um, kinda moody these days.”

Except, I thought, he never used to be. Not until this year.

I had so much fun at that party. I love Liam, but it was a nice change not having to pay attention to whether or not he was having a good time. He can be hard to please. He doesn't like it when I get too hyper, and he never seems happy around my cheerleader friends.

“Do you have a boyfriend, Arielle?” Lucy asked on the ride home.

Arielle shook her head. “Nobody can stand me for more than two or three dates.”

“But you're so gorgeous!” Lucy exclaimed.

Arielle laughed. I knew her well enough to know that making the effort to hang on to a boyfriend had never been a priority for her. She made time for her studies, her cheerleading and her painting. Everything else took a backseat. If there was a guy out there independent enough to keep up with her, she hadn't met him yet.

“Listen, Lucy,” said Arielle, “do you think you could make it to the gym on Saturday for a couple of hours to help Marnie work on her stunts? She was a flyer when she was level three, but that was a couple of years ago. I'm sure she'd appreciate the practice.”

“Sure,” said Lucy. “No problem. I'd love to.”

“I'll call Priya,” Arielle promised. “Then we'll have three bases. We could meet at Soar at eleven.”

That practice session didn't go so well.

Maybe it was because Lucy was new and she wasn't used to Priya's and Arielle's lifting rhythm. Maybe it was just me. I was popping up fine. I'm short and only 103 pounds, so I'm easy to lift. But once I was up, I was shaky. My ankles wouldn't stop wobbling, so every throw was off-kilter. After a while the girls' arms were aching, and I was a little heap of misery and shame. I sat on the floor, pulled my knees up to my face and hid behind my thick bangs.

Priya and Lucy sat on either side of me.

“Hel-lo,” Arielle said. “Come out from behind the hair.”

They waited. I sulked.

Arielle lifted my bangs away from my face. “Coach Saylor used to hate this hair,” she told the other two girls. “She wondered how Marnie could see through it. So one day, she made her tuck her bangs under a headband.”

“Made me look like an alien,” I mumbled, my head still buried in my knees.

Arielle nodded. “She did look strange. Half the squad ran away. And that was the end of the headband experiment.”