Follow Your Star (2 page)

‘What happens about getting the twins to Monaco to visit Mathieu? I couldn’t face taking them there. I can’t do the school run either now I’ve lost my licence,’ Nanette added quietly.

‘Mathieu will have to collect them. We’ll sort something out so you don’t have to go. As for the school run, we’re only ten minutes away. Much better for them to walk anyway.

‘I can’t pay you a fortune but you’ll have your own room, your keep – although you’ll be in charge of the cooking! I thought it would help us both – you to get back on your feet and recover from recent events, and me because I will have someone I can trust utterly while I concentrate on this business and make it work.’

‘Maybe we could try it for a couple of months? See how things work out,’ Nanette said thoughtfully. ‘Have to warn you though, I’m not a brilliant cook.’

‘Great,’ Vanessa said. ‘School starts next week so how d’you feel about coming back with me tomorrow? You can settle in and have a few days to organize a routine.’

Patsy had fussed over her like a mother hen for the next twenty-four hours, worried that she wasn’t ready to leave the sanctuary of the farm, but pleased that there was to be some purpose in her life again.

The couple of months’ trial had gone quickly and Nanette, finding she enjoyed a domestic working environment more
than she’d thought possible, had happily agreed to stay on permanently. It was certainly less stressful than her previous job as a PA to a Grand Prix team.

She adored looking after the twins and running the house, especially when Vanessa was away on one of her frequent business trips. It was like having her own home and children, something she’d always wanted – had imagined having by now, if only things had turned out differently.

Mathieu, Vanessa’s ex-husband visited frequently much to the twins delight. Separated when the children were still tiny, he and Vanessa had managed to remain friends despite their differences and both did their best for the twins. Pierre and Olivia were now so used to the way their lives were divided between England and Monaco they simply accepted it as the way their particular family worked.

The sudden switching on of an outside light, brought Nanette out of her daydream and back to the present. Bryan was crossing the farmyard to do his final night-time check of the animals in the barn.

Thoughtfully, Nanette drew the curtains and turned to finish her unpacking. Could she really turn her back on everything Vanessa had done for her and refuse to help out in her current crisis? Besides, if she didn’t agree to take the twins to Monaco where would that leave her?

Patsy was right when she said Vanessa treated her like family, but relatives had fallen out over less and Nanette dreaded the thought of losing contact with Vanessa and the twins simply because she refused to go to Monaco and face up to her past.

The smell of freshly percolating coffee greeted Nanette as she
made her way down to the kitchen on Sunday morning.

Patsy was busy pushing sprigs of rosemary and cloves of garlic into a large leg of lamb ready to roast for lunch.

‘Hi. Did you sleep well? The twins are helping Bryan feed the baby calves. Help yourself to coffee. You know where the cereals are. There’s plenty of bread for toast. I’d offer you bacon and eggs but I can’t stand the smell of bacon cooking at the moment.’

‘Coffee and toast will be just fine. I’ll do the vegetables for lunch afterwards, shall I?’ Nanette asked.

‘Thanks. Helen always insists on bringing the dessert so I don’t have to worry she says. More like she doesn’t like my pastry! I thought we could go for a walk after lunch – maybe take the twins down to the lake. Helen always likes Bryan to take her on a tour of the farm on Sunday afternoons like they used to when Albert was alive.’ Patsy sighed.

‘Honestly, Nanette, sometimes I could strangle the woman, but she does mean well I suppose. I thought when she finally moved out things would be better. She’d get an independent life again. Leave Bryan and me to our own devices a bit more.’ Patsy shook her head. ‘But nothing’s really changed. She’s still here every day on some pretence or other. And Sunday lunch up here every week has become something of a ritual. Not sure how I’m going to cope with the “grandmotherly” advice that is sure to be heaped on me. That’s why I need you here as an ally when junior arrives.’ Patsy glanced at her sister. ‘Any closer to deciding what you’re going to do?’

Nanette shook her head.

‘No. Maybe the walk this afternoon will clear my head and I’ll be able to think straight.’

Helen arrived just as Patsy placed the roast in the Rayburn
and immediately queried whether it would be cooked in time.

‘I always had the meat in that range by ten o’clock at the latest. Ready for lunch at one on the dot. Still you young things abhor routines, don’t you? Mind you, once the baby arrives you’ll soon change your tune.’

‘Helen, it’s lovely to see you again,’ Nanette said quickly before Patsy could respond to her mother-in-law’s criticisms. ‘How’s life in your new home?’

‘Different to what I’ve been used to, but I’m settling in nicely, thank you. Once Bryan finishes off a couple more little jobs I’ll be really organized. Ready to devote my time to helping Patsy with the new addition.’

Helen slanted a look at Nanette.

‘And you? Your memory back to normal now?’ she asked briskly. ‘I saw a picture in one of the Sunday papers recently of – oh what’s his name? Your ex fiancé anyway. Had a blonde on his arm. Said something about them getting married. Zachary – that’s his name.’

‘I saw that photo too,’ Nanette said quietly. ‘As for my memory, I still have no recollection of certain things people tell me happened – maybe it’s for the best,’ she added, forcing a smile in Helen’s direction. ‘If you’ll excuse me I’ll just go check on the twins.’

Leaving the kitchen, Nanette mouthed an apologetic, ‘Sorry – I’ll see you later’, at Patsy before closing the kitchen door behind her.

After a slightly strained lunch, Nanette, Patsy and the twins went for their planned walk down to the lake at the far end of the farm.

‘I’m sorry Helen assumed your memory had returned to normal,’ Patsy said quietly. ‘And mentioned you-know-who.
I know you find both difficult to cope with.’

Nanette shook her head wearily. ‘Don’t worry. I wish my memory of that afternoon would return, but I’m beginning to believe it never will now. As for Zac, well, I can’t hide from news about him for ever.’

Opening a heavy farm gate so that Patsy didn’t have to climb over as the twins had done, Nanette said to her sister, ‘Actually I think Helen’s comments have helped me make up my mind. I can’t run from the past for ever, so’ – she took a deep breath – ‘I’m going to tell Vanessa yes I will go to Monaco. At least Mathieu will be around if there are any problems with the twins and he’ll be a friend for me too.’

‘Nanette, Nanette, wake up. You’re having one of your nightmares,’ Patsy shook her gently.

A shudder went through Nanette’s body as she came to.

‘Here, have a sip.’ Patsy handed her a glass of water. ‘What was it this time? Another monster breaking into the house? An earthquake?’

Nanette shook her head. ‘No. I was caught up in an avalanche.’ She took a sip of the water as Patsy regarded her thoughtfully.

‘It’s been ages since you’ve had a nightmare.’

Nanette nodded. ‘I know. I was hoping they’d finally
finished,’ she said, her body still racked with shakes. ‘The therapist was saying only last week that it was a good sign I’d gone for so long without one. Wonder what interpretation she’ll put on tonight’s little episode?’ Nanette added through chattering teeth.

‘The stress of planning the wedding? Or maybe the thought of returning to Monaco?’ Patsy said, giving her sister a concerned glance. ‘Are you cold? Shall I get you a hot water bottle?’

‘No, thanks. I’ll snuggle back under the duvet in a moment and I’ll soon warm up,’ and Nanette smiled at her sister. ‘You go back to bed. Remember your condition. Don’t want you with dark circles under your eyes tomorrow, or rather today. She glanced at the bedside clock. ‘I’m sorry I woke you.’

‘If you’re sure you’re OK,’ Patsy said. ‘I could stay with you for a bit?’

‘I’m fine. Go back to bed,’ Nanette ordered. ‘But leave the light on please.’

Patsy glanced anxiously at her before leaving and closing the door.

Once she was alone, Nanette sat on the edge of the bed and took some deep breaths, trying to get her shaking body under control. It was never easy to banish the apprehension and terror that the nightmares brought.

Sitting there, watching a moth seemingly mesmerized by the bedside light, flying frantically round and round, Nanette’s thoughts ricocheted in a similar manner over her latest nightmare.

These terrifying dreams had been an irregular part of her nights for nearly three years now. Ever since the car accident in which she – and Zachary Ewart – had nearly died.

The therapist, whom Vanessa had persuaded her to see when they began, had been right when she’d said they would happen less and less as time went on. But tonight’s nightmare had been truly terrifying. As bad as any she’d ever had. Slowly, as she sat there, the shaking stopped and the feeling of devastation retreated into her subconscious. But she knew there had been an extra dimension tonight – something that had disappeared as she’d woken up.

As she’d hurtled down that slope in the path of the avalanche, screaming in terror, she hadn’t been alone. A shadowy figure had been alongside urging her on.

‘Faster, faster. Remember, remember.…’

Remember what? Despondently Nanette replayed the nightmare in her mind, trying to come up with some positive memory from the dream. But her brain refused to co-operate.

Wearily, she slipped under the duvet and reached out to turn off the light. Hopefully the rest of the night would pass peacefully. Now the decision was made and she was going to return to Monaco, she would need all her strength to cope with the coming weeks.

The Mediterranean was sparkling under a warm March sun as the plane landed and taxied along the landing strip of Nice Cote d’Azur airport that ran alongside the edge of the sea. Nanette took a deep breath.

After several weeks of frenzied preparations, Vanessa and Ralph had left for Brazil and she was finally back on French soil. Whatever the next few months had in store for her she could only pray that the turbulence of her past wouldn’t intrude into the future.

She undid her seatbelt and began to gather their things
together. The twins were already on their feet excited at the prospect of the next part of the journey.

Walking through the arrivals hall Nanette put on her large sunglasses. She knew from experience that there was always the odd photographer, or even a group of paparazzi, lurking around the airport in the hope of snapping someone famous on their way out to the helicopter pad for transfer to Monaco.

She knew she was unlikely to be of any interest, but hiding her eyes behind the dark glass made her feel better.

But it wasn’t the paparazzi who greeted her as she walked towards the helicopter check-in desk: it was a large billboard advertising the Monaco Grand Prix standing next to it. A smaller one alongside had a film-star-style close-up of the Heel’s face and the words ‘
Is this Zac’s year?
’ emblazoned over it.

Nanette handed over their flight reservation tickets to the desk clerk, turning her back on the poster and trying to shut its image and the memories it evoked out of her mind.

‘Great,’ Pierre said excitedly. ‘We’ll be here this year for the Grand Prix. Do you think Dad will be able to get us some passes for the pit lane?’

‘I shouldn’t be surprised,’ Nanette said, with a sinking feeling. She’d totally forgotten their time in Monaco would clash with the Grand Prix. That local hero Zachary Ewart would naturally be in town.

‘Well, I don’t want a ticket,’ Olivia said. ‘I hate the noise those cars make. It hurts my ears.’

Inwardly Nanette agreed with Olivia. The last thing she wanted too was a ticket to anything that involved Zachary Ewart.

The twins clambered happily into their seats in the
helicopter leaving Nanette to sit alongside the pilot. As the turbines screamed, the rotors beat the air and the helicopter took off in a rush of noise, Nanette took some deep, steadying breaths.

The pilot glanced at her sympathetically.

‘First trip? You look a bit nervous. It’s only fifteen minutes.’

Nanette shook her head. ‘No. It’s not my first trip but I am nervous.’

Staring out through the window at the coastline that had once been so familiar to her, Nanette didn’t add that it wasn’t the flight she was nervous about, but the direction her life was taking.

After landing at the heli-pad in Fontvielle, a downtown extension of Monaco built on reclaimed land, Nanette and the twins took a taxi to Mathieu’s apartment on Boulevard Albert 1st overlooking the old port. Within minutes the twins were knocking on the door of Mathieu’s ninth floor apartment.

To Nanette’s surprise, it was his father, Jean-Claude, who opened the door to them.

‘
Bonjour mes petits
and welcome,’ he said, hugging the twins and giving Nanette a light kiss on each cheek.

‘Where’s Daddy?’ Olivia asked disappointedly.

‘He’ll be here later, poppet,’ Jean-Claude said. ‘He’s had to take care of some business this afternoon. You two can take your things through to your rooms while I show Nanette hers. Tea and biscuits on the balcony in ten minutes.’

Once the twins were safely out of earshot, Jean-Claude said to Nanette, ‘Mathieu offers his apologies but something came up that he couldn’t get out of. He hopes to be here later this evening. In the meantime, he’s asked me to take care of things. Help you settle in, give you keys and things. And I’ll
stay tonight in case he doesn’t get back.’