Fool and Her Honey (9781622860791) (18 page)

I couldn't believe Candis had us in the bridal store, trying on gowns. Even more I couldn't believe that she was actually planning to marry this dude. She was grinning like she was ten years old and it was Christmas morning when Dina came out of the dressing room in the dress she chose for us.

“It looks so good on you.” Candis beamed as Dina pretended to glide down an imaginary aisle, holding an invisible man's arm with one hand and a bouquet of flowers that were just as invisible in the other. My stomach was turning flips at the site of this mess.

“Okay, Celeste! Your turn,” Candis said, now smiling as big as she could at me. “Go put yours on.”

I let out a sigh that I could no longer contain. This was beyond ridiculous, and I didn't have any extra money to be buying a dress for a wedding that probably wasn't going to take place.

“Candis, I really don't feel like pulling off my clothes today,” I said. “Let's come back later.”

“Celeste, go 'head,” Dina ordered when Candis just stared at me.

I pressed my lips together and stood reluctantly.

“Why are you acting so nasty?” Candis asked, digging.

“I told you I don't feel like changing clothes.”

“But you knew what we were coming to do when we left the house, Celeste. And you wait until we get all the way out here and now you want to show out.”

“I'm not trying to show out, but please forgive me if I don't share your excitement about you marrying a man you don't know and never even met. Do you know how crazy that is?”

“It's my choice, and it's my life. What is it to you if I want to marry him?”

“What do you mean, what is it to me? You're my friend! I care about you!” I said louder than I meant to. Other customers looked over at us.

“If you were my friend, like you say you are, you'd be supporting my decision, Celeste, not fighting me every step of the way.”

“Ain't nobody who is a real friend is going to really support you marrying a complete stranger.” I shot my eyes over to Dina, hoping she would give some indication that she was in agreement. Instead she was preoccupied with her cell phone. “You are making a huge mistake, Candis, and the whole world knows it, so excuse me if I'm not jumping up and down about watching you ruin your life.”

“Just because it's not what you would do doesn't mean it's the wrong choice for me. And you know what else? If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done, and I'm doing just that. Seems like to me you ought to be taking lessons, seeing's how all you got is a jacked-up, jackleg buster of a man that you keep taking abuse from.”

My mouth dropped open, but no words came out. I was stunned and insulted. “Screw you and this whole wedding!” It was weak, but that was what finally came out of my mouth. “I'll see y'all later.”

“You ain't got to see me again ever,” Candis shouted across the store as I made my way to the door and rushed out.

 

 

How was she going to be mad at me when she was the one fool enough to marry some guy she'd never even laid her actual eyes on, talking about he looked like Brian McKnight? She didn't know what he looked like. He could be using Brian's pictures that he pulled off the Internet and splattered all over his Facebook page. Candis was being a dummy, and she knew it.

I jumped in my car, started it up, and zipped through the lot, angry, frustrated, and hurt by Candis's words about my own love life. I didn't have a “real” man, but she didn't have to say that. I mean, everything I said was true. I wasn't really feeling this decision she was making, but she didn't have to go as far as she did with calling Equanto names.

The last place I wanted to go was home, knowing the kind of drama that was ever present within my four walls, but with nowhere else to go and no gas to waste, I found myself forced to be on my way there. As usual, I sat in the parking lot for a full hour, wishing I knew what it felt like to honestly love and be loved.

I started daydreaming about Keith, pretending that he was the love of my life. Really, in my imagination he was. I had grown fond of him during our morning break room interactions and often wished that there could be more between us. I didn't know how Keith felt about me, but in my fantasy world, he was in love with me and couldn't wait to see me every morning. I imagined him bringing me flowers and writing me little love notes and kissing me on the cheek.

We'd had a great time at Candis's party, and I couldn't remember a time I felt so good inside. I'd smiled and laughed so much that night, my cheeks hurt. He had a great listening ear and always showed me compassion whenever I shared with him some of the messy details of my life. He listened without judging and never made me feel foolish for still being married to Equanto, although I knew that one of the best things I could do for myself was divorce the man I'd haphazardly married.

If I wasn't married to Equanto, I probably would have tried to date Keith. As a matter of fact, I knew I would have. I wasn't sure how he would react, or if he was even remotely interested in me. Honestly, I was kinda glad that Equanto stood in the way of me finding out. Who knew what kind of fool I would make of myself by throwing myself at Keith's feet if I had the opportunity? I'd run the risk of him saying, “Celeste, I think you're a nice girl and an incredible person, but I just don't like you like that.”

Damn! That hurt even in my imagination. I definitely couldn't take a blow like that in real life. Yeah. It was a good thing that I had a husband, as crazy as he was.

There was the one time when I told Keith about what had actually happened to my purse and a few other stories about how Equanto had gotten on my last nerve.

That very next day I was in the break room thirty minutes before my shift start time, just to be able to converse with my friend again. And in thinking about it, I wouldn't want to ruin it with a relationship. I'd just keep him as my fantasy boyfriend.

With a huge sigh I opened the car door and stepped out onto the pavement, forcing myself to go inside.

“'Bout time you got back. You know I gotta go to work,” Equanto said, not looking up from the video game he was playing. The boys were in the room, playing, but came running out to greet me when they heard me come in.

“Hi, Mommy,” they said in triplicate, gave me a hug, then went back to whatever they'd been doing.

“Okay, I'll take you.” Most times he would easily agree to me taking him and picking him up. It was only when he was up to no good that he'd fight me over the keys.

“Naw, just give me the keys. I'll drive myself 'cause I'ma be gettin' off real late.”

“E, don't start this up today.”

“I'm taking the car,” he said more adamantly, as if it would change my mind.

“You can drive the car, but you're taking me with you. Kids, come on. We're about to go somewhere,” I called out to the boys.

“Stay your ass here, Celeste!” he growled, tossing the game controller to the side, leaping to his feet, and grabbing for my purse to get my keys.

“Y'all go get in the car,” I instructed my sons.

“Why you always gotta be so damn contrary!” E said, still trying to get my purse from my arm. He was pulling and jerking me around the room, but I held on with all the strength that I had. The boys were moving too slowly, so I yelled at them to hurry up just as my purse strap broke.

“You ain't taking that car, Equanto!” I yelled, scrambling to get my purse back, but in an instant Equanto had dumped everything out of it and onto the floor. He grabbed the keys and pushed me aside, causing me to tumble over the arm of the couch, and headed out the door.

“Y'all gone back in the house,” I heard him say to the kids.

“Get in the car, y'all,” I screamed, rushing to regain my balance and get back on my feet.

By the time I got outside, the boys were climbing into the backseat and Equanto was plopping into the driver's seat. This was one of the times when weighing a hundred pounds less would have really come in handy. I could have actually run to the car, instead of doing the slow Fat Albert trot I was forced to do. And even that had me seriously out of breath by the time I made it to the passenger's side of the car and yanked the door open.

Even though my hand was on the car door handle and I was huffing and puffing for my life, standing between the open car door and the frame, Equanto shifted the car into gear and started backing up. Thank God he didn't put his foot on the gas. Just him putting the car in gear and taking his foot off the brake was enough to make me lose my footing and topple over. I was trying to hold on for dear life, one hand clutching the door and the other grasping for whatever I could get it on. Both my knees hit the asphalt, and holes were scraped in my pants.

“You ran over Mommy!” Quincy screamed. “Daddy, stop it! You ran over Mommy.”

Equanto jammed his foot on the brakes, although the car hadn't moved very much at all, but the sudden stop jerked me forward and my head slammed against the bottom of the car's frame, and in an instant my head was pounding. Once the car was no longer in motion, Linwood jumped out and rushed to my side, trying to help me stand up, but his small frame could in no way offer me any help.

“You ain't . . . takin' . . . this damn car . . . Equanto,” I panted, still on my knees and trying to pull myself into the car at the same time.

“Look how stupid you actin',” my husband yelled.

“Move back, Linwood,” I huffed. I settled one foot solidly on the ground, and just as I started to push up, something in my chest felt like it exploded and forced me backward. I started gasping desperately for air, but I couldn't seem to get enough as an excruciating pain took over. I could hear my kids crying and screaming, and I saw Equanto's angry scowl looking down at me, but with every passing second they seemed to get more distant and fuzzier, until they faded into black silence, and I couldn't see or hear anything.

I'd heard that there was always one girl in the bridal party that would show her behind, but I never thought it would be Celeste. I expected it to be one of my rowdy cousins, but not my girl Celeste. I had to run in the dressing room and cry for a few minutes to get myself together after what just happened. I knew that me marrying SeanMichael was unorthodox, to say the least, but I really thought my friends were supporting me.

Celeste didn't know SeanMichael like I did. I talked to him every day. I heard the sincerity in his voice. I snooped around on his page and did my own level of investigation. And there were some things that I found out that I didn't particularly like, but I thought they were tolerable and together we could have a happy life with each other.

SeanMichael was the nicest man I'd ever met. Well, not literally met, but the nicest man I'd ever come across. And forget whoever had whatever to say about it—I was going to marry him.

“You okay?” Dina asked, tapping on the door.

“I'm fine,” I answered weakly. “I'll be out in a minute.”

“Open the door, Candis,” she ordered.

“No, that's all right. I'm coming.”

“You don't need to be by yourself. Open this door,” she said a bit more adamantly.

This time I did, although I didn't have the strength to look up at her. She came in the large stall and pushed the sliding lock to secure it behind her, then wrapped her arms around me.

I cried silently in her arms, overcome with an unfamiliar wave of emotion, then pushed back a little, looking directly at her.

“Are you laughing and talking about me behind my back, Dina?”

“Girl, no! I've already told you, if this is what you feel like you want to do, then I have to trust and believe that you are being smart and mature enough to make a decision that will work out in your favor. Even if it doesn't, you can always recover from it,” she said, looking into my eyes.

“I don't want anybody in my wedding who is really not for me. I know that it sounds crazy, but I know that I'm doing the right thing. I prayed about it, I feel like God gave me an answer, and I have peace with it.”

“I know you do, honey, and I am here to help you with whatever you need. I only have one life to live, and that's mine. I can't live your life and my life too. Judging from my own mistakes, I haven't figured out how to get things right yet, anyway, so how am I going to tell you what to do with yours?”

That was why I loved Dina. She knew how to stay in her lane. I did love Celeste. I just couldn't believe her today.

“Now, you know Celeste will eventually come around,” she added.

“Don't mention her name to me.” I jerked away from Dina and grabbed my purse off the bench. “Let's go.”

“I'm just telling you because you need to be prepared to handle her when she comes to herself.”

“I don't care when that is. If I see her again, it will be too soon.”

“You know she only said what she said because she cares about you.”

“So that means it's okay for her to have smiled in my face all this time and then showed out like she did today.”

“If you think about it, Candis, Celeste didn't say anything different today than she did on the day you first told us. You know she's always felt apprehensive about SeanMichael, and honestly, we'd all be lying if we told you we didn't think it strange and unusual. You know that. You knew that when you told us.”

Dina had a point. I did already know what people were thinking. That I was a fool. I guess I thought they'd had ample opportunity to voice their opinions and concerns and at this point they'd embraced the idea with me. Silly me. But at least now I knew what and who was dealing with.

“Let's go get something to eat,” Dina suggested.

“No, let's go get a drink,” I countered.

There was an Applebee's right up the street, so we stopped there and slid into a booth. After a few sips of a margarita, I did begin to feel a little better, although inside I was still angry. If I kicked Candis out of the wedding, it would upset my bridal party numbers, but I'd rather make that adjustment than have her pretending to be with me and calling me a fool behind my back. Or in my face.

As soon as I got home and out of Dina's presence, I called SeanMichael and told him what had happened. The more I talked, the louder and more animated I became, but SeanMichael didn't interrupt me a single time.

When I finally finished by telling him, “So she's out of the wedding,” he said, “Don't worry about it, baby. If she is a true friend, she will come around, and if not, it's better that you know where she's coming from now rather than later. Just take a breath and release it. I don't want anyone upsetting my baby. We both know practically the whole world is against us, but I love God and I love you, and with that combination, ain't nothing gonna go wrong.”

A smile crept across my face, like it usually did when I talked to SeanMichael. He always knew the words to say to make things right in my world. Now, instead of being angry with Celeste, I felt more disappointed that she wouldn't be included in the joy of my day. Celeste and I had been a part of each other's lives for so long, it would just seem weird that she wouldn't be around to help me celebrate the biggest day of my life.
Oh well. Life goes on.

SeanMichael and I talked for another three hours, working through some wedding ideas and details. Since he was going to be flying out to Arizona, his selection of groomsmen was none, and I'd single-handedly picked out who would stand with him when he took me to be his lawfully wedded wife.