Fool Me Once (Codie Snow #1): A Romantic Suspense Series (9 page)

Chapter Twelve

CODIE SAT IN the passenger’s seat, looking out the window at the lights whizzing by.  Her head felt light and giddy, but her teeth felt numb, a sure sign that she’d had too much to drink.  That was okay, because she was pissed at herself for once more falling for Slade’s charms.  The logical part of herself realized it was because he was now out of reach—well, at least that was how his flirtation with that stupid waitress made it seem.

She’d promised herself she’d resist temptation—and she hadn’t fallen.  Yet.

She had to stop thinking about how his competition—the lawyers and paralegal who’d been drowning their sorrow in the lounge—had come in after knocking back a few and gave Slade genuine congratulations while telling him he’d earned it.

And she couldn’t forget that smirk that had been plastered on his face, as much a part of him as his steely eyes and iron jaw.  As much as Codie hated to admit it, cockiness looked good on Slade.

Damn
good.  Like a well-tailored suit, it emphasized the sexy stuff in all the right places and made most of the bad stuff fade away.  By the end of the night, as Slade drove her and Matthew back to their apartment, she was in lust with the guy once more, even squirming in her seat thinking about his lovemaking prowess.

And pissed at herself for falling victim once more.

But as long Matthew was along for the ride, she was safe.  After all, Slade’s charms could only go so far when there was another party around, especially since he wasn’t big on public displays of affection.  Codie had learned over the years that no matter how much he might care about her, it didn’t mean that he wanted the world to see them in an embrace—or something even more…
emotional
.  Slade preferred to play it cool.

Like now, walking up the stairs to her apartment.  In spite of how mad she was at herself, the wine had her feeling floaty and happy at the same time, and Matthew had her giggly.  “Hey, girlfriend,” he said in his tenor voice, and she could hear the giddiness even though he wasn’t laughing.

She almost turned around to look at him, but they were climbing the stairs to their apartment, and she was afraid she’d get dizzy if she spun around quickly and then looked down.  Matthew might have a chance to catch her, but there was no guarantee, because he’d been the one to help her polish off the bottle of wine.  Stick-in-the-mud Slade had only had two glasses.

Moderation was overrated.  After all, the wine was helping her tolerate her ex at the moment.

No, she was back in adoration phase.  Damn it.

“Yeah, Matty?”

“Did you see that one guy’s ass?”

She started giggling.  “Which guy?  I can’t even see Slade’s ass, ‘cause he’s next to me.”  She tried to look serious when she turned her head to the side.  “Why don’t
you
get in front of me?”

It was then that she realized his arm was behind her back holding her up.  He looked so serious, but when she started laughing, he gave her a look…one she was intimately familiar with, one that made her body buzz down to the tips of her toes.  She’d seen it dozens of times before.  It was the one where she could tell he wanted to roll his eyes but also shove her into the wall and lay a thick and heavy kiss on her.

God, she’d love that kiss.

But Matthew wasn’t letting that happen.  “No, the blonde guy—the paralegal at the lounge.  I could have grabbed and squeezed…like Wonder Bread.”

She laughed even louder, even while she felt Slade’s hand tense up.  Why, yes, they
were
being loud, but they lived here.  They’d have to be the ones to deal with the angry neighbors, not Slade.  She tried to ignore his obvious irritation, because she was having fun.

Once they arrived in front of their apartment, Matthew lined up his key with the lock.  He tried shoving his key in and missed.  Then he started laughing, and he looked over at Codie with his squinty eyes, amusement plastered all over his face.  She giggled and then he straightened out his face in mock seriousness before trying again.  The key instead hit the door.  “Girlfriend, when I hook up tonight, I’m definitely going to have to be the receiver.”

Codie knew exactly what he meant and laughed again, but she knew Matthew was in no shape to go back out for the evening.

Slade knew it too but he wasn’t loud about it.  He merely said, as Matthew finally hit his target and twisted the gold key in the lock, “Don’t forget we have a big day tomorrow.”

“We d—?”  Matthew’s face turned sober and his eyes grew wide.  “Oh…”  Then his lips pursed until he loosened them in a laugh, spewing spittle into the doorway.  “We
do
!”  Codie started giggling again.  Matthew was a fun drunk, but she suspected his head was going to be pounding by five AM.

Once they were all inside, Slade pulled the door closed behind him.  His body was stiff—he didn’t do well dealing with drunks, obviously—but his voice was kind as he addressed his inebriated employee.  “How about we get you tucked in, buddy?”

“Tucked in?  Slade…I didn’t think you were that type.”

“I need you tomorrow, my man.  Big day.  You need your rest.”

Matthew frowned.  “Yeah, I guess I do.”

Slade draped an arm around Matthew’s shoulders, leading Codie’s roommate out of the kitchen.  She frowned and sat at the table.  This was not good.  Not good at all.  Slade getting Matthew out of the way meant that Codie would have to see her ex out—and she was in a weakened state, having drooled and pined and questioned herself over the man all night long.  This wasn’t good.

She closed her eyes, trying to think, hoping to fortify her heart, but her head felt like it was spinning.  She peeked her eyes open, looking at the white wall across from the table, and the room stilled once more.  So she closed her eyes, allowing the world to move around her.  Unlike her friends who used to complain of feeling dizzy when drunk back in her partying days, Codie had never minded the sensation they’d all called
bed spins
.  It didn’t make her feel sick or woozy.  It just felt like she was moving around and around.  No, that wasn’t quite right.  It felt like she could sense the earth’s motions and she was aware of moving with it—almost as though the drunken state had heightened her senses.

She knew better, though.  She was numb and goofy.  Loving life but definitely not the sharpest tack in the drawer at the moment.

It seemed like an hour had passed by the time Slade got back to the kitchen, long enough that she’d rested her head in her arms on the table and was starting to think she was ready for bed too.  And she needed to be, because she had to work in the morning.  She could still taste the wine in her mouth and its fumes seemed to emanate from her chest, so she knew she’d likely not be top notch tomorrow either.

But when she felt Slade’s hand on her shoulders, she thought maybe she knew a way to combat the potential hangover.  She immediately regretted even thinking it, knowing it was merely his magnetism drawing her in.  As soon as he left her apartment, she’d be thinking about…maybe Pete.  Maybe not, but she knew Slade’s draw was always less powerful when she was out of his orbit.  And she needed that.  She needed to evaluate Slade from a distance to determine reality and if they were really meant for each other or if they needed to stay split for good.

“Codie?  Do I need to tuck you in too?”

She lifted her head, noticing that it felt heavier now.  “What the hell did you put in the wine?  You’re driving like a pro, and Matthew and I are acting like teens who found the key to dad’s liquor cabinet.”

Slade slid a hand under her elbow to help her stand.  He smiled at her and said, “I stopped after two glasses.  The two of you?  Not so much.”  Once she was on her feet, he added, “Responsible drinking.  Somebody had to drive.”

“Oh, so Matthew and I are kids.”

“I didn’t say that.  I knew I was going to be the designated driver before we even started.  Besides, you know I drink wine regularly enough that it doesn’t affect me the same way it does you two.”

Hmm.  Sounded pretty fishy to her, but she wasn’t going to argue.  She liked the sound and tone of his voice as he gently led her toward her bedroom, and it almost felt like old times.  He was being really sweet.

And that made him irresistible once more.  Just inside her bedroom, she said, “Slade?”

“Yeah, honey?”

Oh.
  And that too.  “Why can’t we ever make it work?”

He smirked.  “I have my theories about that.”

“And they are?”

“Perhaps a discussion topic for another day.  You’re far too light-headed and vulnerable.”

Before she fell onto the bed, she grabbed his lapel.  “Kiss me, Slade.”

His lips were still curled in a maddening, sexy smirk.  “Maybe tomorrow.”

Codie was too drunk to feel as angry as she wanted to.  “You’re just afraid I’ll keep you up.”

Slade’s grin grew cockier but it didn’t fade.  “Yeah, that’s it.  I don’t want you to keep me up.  Now…night-night, Codie.  Sweet dreams.”

Chapter Thirteen

CODIE AWOKE WITH a hell of a headache, but sweet, thoughtful (and—yes—anal) Slade had set her alarm before leaving their apartment, so she managed to make it to work on time.

God, she hated working as a nursing assistant and couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually enjoyed the job.  Right now, she worked in one of the local nursing homes.  She’d considered working for the pricks at the hospital, but she was afraid of getting lazy and complacent and waking up one morning past forty, wondering why the hell she’d worked there half of her entire life, wasting her youth away doing something she hated.  That had been a huge part of her motivation for going with Pete on the ride-along.  She wanted to do something exciting, challenging, and halfway fun.  After shadowing Pete, though, she wasn’t sure being a cop was what she wanted.  She knew she’d have to try it another time or two to find out for sure.

But she
did
know CNA work was
not
what she wanted.  Not by a long shot.

Ugh.  Codie felt sorry for the people she helped—many of them weren’t even wanted by their families, but some of them were just too difficult to care for at home.  Some of them needed extra care, because—for instance—they needed to be changed several times a day…and it wasn’t like changing a helpless baby’s diaper.  Quite a few of the residents could be mean and hateful—not that Codie could blame them. 
She
fucking hated being here, so why wouldn’t they?  At least she got to leave every day.

Worse than the work, though, was the nurses she worked for.  What a bunch of nasty bitches.

Elaine, the worst of them, was the charge nurse during Codie’s shift.  When Elaine was running the show, everyone was grouchy, because the woman tried to make them all feel like they couldn’t do anything right.  As usual, though, Codie just tried to ignore her, even when a fellow CNA tried to coax her into gossiping and grousing all day about the bitch.  Codie tried to remember that Elaine should have her respect due to her education and her experience, but Codie hated her just the same…not just her personality but also her caterpillar eyebrows.  Thank heavens for the eyebrows, because they were the perfect reminder that Elaine wasn’t perfect.  The woman couldn’t even properly shape her ugly eyebrows.

Something Codie had realized after a few years of working at the nursing home that, yes, she could complain and mutter and mumble behind her shift leader’s back—something she used to do, thinking it would help her feel better—but it never helped the situation improve, and it didn’t help her emotional state in the long run.  Instead, she found that if she shoved a piece of gum in her mouth and chomped on it, taking out her aggression on the chewy pink sweetness between her teeth, it wasn’t so bad.

One shift at a time.

Today, though, it was getting to her.  And she knew it was because she’d already had a taste of freedom, of something different.  Becoming a cop might not be the solution, but she knew now that she needed to change gears.  When it was time to leave work, Elaine stopped her.  It was one of the games she liked to play.  “Hold up, Snow,” she snapped from the nurse’s station.  “Did you finish your final rounds?”

“Yes.  And I let Latisha know that Mr. Graham will need to be checked again in about half an hour.”  Elaine loved pretending the CNAs under her charge were stupid and lazy, but they worked well together, checking with each other when changing shifts.  None of them liked surprises, so they all kept one another informed.

But Elaine obviously didn’t care—or was too stupid to catch on.  “You finished your charting?”

“Yes, ma’am.”  Codie knew it grated Elaine’s nerves when she called her
ma’am
, so she did it as often as possible.

Elaine didn’t give away her displeasure, but Codie saw the corner of a thick eyebrow respond by moving ever so slightly.  That made her satisfied.  “Let’s check a couple of your charts.”

“I’ve already clocked out.  They’re fine.”  Elaine stood.  “And if they’re not, I know you’ll be sure to go over them with me tomorrow.  I just want to go home.”  Codie didn’t flip her the bird, much as she wanted to, but she started walking toward the front door.

“What the hell’s the matter with you today, Snow?”

Codie wanted to say that she was ready to tell the nurse to shove the job up her ass, but without a plan, she couldn’t take a risk of losing said job with being insubordinate.  So she told her half the truth.  “I don’t feel good today.”

And who cared if it was her own damn fault because she’d drunk way too much the night before?

* * *

After going to bed early that night and going to work the next day like a robot, falling back into the same old routine, Codie felt restless.  She knew then for certain that she had to quit her job.  There was no way she was going to be a nurse’s bitch, certified or otherwise, for the rest of her life.  She needed more out of life, and she wasn’t getting any younger.

And she knew, while she sat at the kitchen table that evening stabbing at an innocent piece of lettuce, that her restlessness might seem to be caused by her love life, but she realized in the back of her mind that it was a hell of a lot more than that.  Sure, she’d been agonizing over Slade and Pete, trying to decide who’d be the better guy to end up with, but she knew that she needed to get her own life together first.

She needed to be happy without a man before she started plotting out her life
with
one.

So it didn’t help her frame of mind when Pete called her later, just as she was getting ready for bed.  It might have been late, but when she saw who was calling, there was no way was she letting him go to voicemail.  “You remember all the different crime scenes we went to the other night on my shift?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I can’t say much except…check the paper tomorrow.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Not even a hint?”

She could hear the firmness in his voice and it made her feel tingly as she remembered his tongue against her lower lip.  She let out a slow breath and closed her eyes, hoping to keep her shit together.  Before she opened them again, Pete said, “You gonna come on a ride-along again soon?”

She couldn’t help but smile.  “Maybe.”

“I could show you a lot more.”

The giggle that ruptured from her mouth couldn’t be stopped.  “I don’t think so.  I pretty much saw it all, I think.”

“On
patrol
, Codie.  Man, your mind went in the gutter fast.”

Her voice sounded strange to her own ears, throaty and full of desire.  “I thought you liked it that way.”

He chuckled, but she could hear it in his voice too.  “You tryin’ to get me in trouble?”

“No…but, um, I just wondered what you were doing for lunch.”

Fortunately, Pete understood that Codie meant
his
lunch break, not hers…

* * *

Codie lay with her head resting against Pete’s chest, relishing the feel of his arm hairs under her fingers as she brushed them back and forth.  He smelled really good tonight.  She’d expected a different scent, maybe one of exertion and heat, considering the weather had been warming up quite a bit lately and he had to wear that starchy uniform, but he smelled almost as fresh as if he’d just showered.

It made her consider licking him.

Instead, she let her common sense rule her mind for a bit as she wondered what this (
this
being another hop in the sack) meant for them.  Were they going to really get together now, after walking away from each other all those years ago?  Could they see past their juvenile differences and become adult lovers who were meant for one another?

Codie continued to ponder it until she remembered something else very important.  She sat up a little so she could look in Pete’s eyes.  “So what exactly were you talking about on the phone earlier?”

He lifted his eyebrows but his eyes were shut tight.  There would be no reading them.  “Hmm?”

Was he pretending he didn’t know what she was alluding to?  “You know…what you said about checking the paper in the morning.”

“Oh, yeah, that.”  He half-shrugged his free shoulder but he still didn’t open his eyes to look at her.  “You know the dead body at that religious house?  Name of Dinsmoor?”

“Yeah.”

“They’re saying it wasn’t murder.”

Codie sat up.  “Seriously?”

“Yeah.  They’re not saying
suicide
yet, but…”

After a few seconds, Codie added, “That’s what they suspect? 
Suicide?
”

“I think so.  But that’s all I can say.  It’s still under investigation.”

“Of course.”  She tried resting her head on his chest again, but she knew he was going to have to get up in a little bit anyway.  She imagined he was pretty strict about getting back to work on time—that was just the way Pete was.  “You should come over for dinner sometime.”

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, you know—the evening meal.  But since you have lunch around two in the morning, I could make you pancakes and bacon before you go to work.”  She grinned.  “Or we could do it when you have a night off.”

Pete shifted under her head and arms, and she could tell he was trying to squirm his way out from underneath her.  Yes,
squirm
…and she felt herself grow angry before he could even say a word.

Angry, because the alternative was hurt.

He sat up and made sure he was poised on the edge of the bed before he said, “Why can’t this just be for fun?  Why do we have to make it something more?”

Jesus Christ.
  And she’d thought Slade was commitment-phobic.  At least her ex had no issues with a perma-girlfriend.

She pursed her lips together so hard they started to feel numb and then, as Pete was pulling on his underwear, she let out a breath.  “I didn’t realize inviting you over for dinner was a huge deal.”

He shrugged and stood, letting go of the waistband of his shorts.  When he finally looked at Codie, he said, “I guess it doesn’t have to be.  It just
feels
that way.”

That was it.  She couldn’t help the feelings in the pit of her stomach.  She felt unloved and used.  This wasn’t the Pete she remembered.  “Um…I kind of think sticking your dick in me feels kind of huge.”

Both of them had upset and shocked looks on their faces for all of two seconds, until the humor of what Codie had uttered washed over them.  They both started smiling at her inadvertent double entendre until Pete said, “Thanks, I think.”  Codie tried to hold onto the anger, because she had a lot more venom to spew at him, but before she could, he said, “Look, Codie, we haven’t done a good job at keeping in touch, even with shit like Facebook, so maybe you don’t know that I just got out of a pretty serious relationship the end of last year.  I like you.  I’ve always liked you.  But I’m just not ready for anything heavy.  I don’t know when I will be.”

Okay, well…now Pete didn’t seem like such an asshole.  Still, it would have been nice to have known his noncommittal feelings going in.  Maybe she could have protected her heart a little better.  In light of his honesty, it only seemed fair to return the favor.  “I don’t know that I can just be a friend with benefits, Pete.”  But wasn’t that almost what she and Slade had been to each other?  She felt confused and alone—and still angry.  But she didn’t know that directing those emotions at Pete would be such a good idea, and she was sure it wouldn’t make her feel any better.

“Fair enough.”  Pete picked his pants up off the floor and began sliding them over his legs.  “Can we be friends, though?  I’ve missed that, Codie.  I’ve missed
you
.”

That hurt too.  Yes, she’d missed Pete in her life as well, though she never would have thought so before the past week. 
Out of sight, out of mind.
  She wasn’t going to say it, though.  “Yeah, of course.”  Finding on the bed the t-shirt she’d worn as a nightie, she sighed, pulling it down over her head.

“I don’t know if I told you back in high school, but you’ve got gorgeous tits.”

Ugh. 
Really?
  Talk about ruining a moment.  “Thanks.  I think.”  At least her dick comment had been accidental.  But maybe it had been Freudian.

He grinned while buttoning up his shirt.  “Maybe we could go to lunch sometime.”  Before she could protest or get angry again, he said, “
Real
lunch.  Catch up.  It’s been a long time.  Maybe we could start there and see what happens.”

A small smile crept up on her face as she felt her heart lighten a bit.  “Yeah.  I think I’d like that.”  More than she’d say out loud even.