For the Game (11 page)

“London,” I said. “I know things are--”

“God, I can’t read your writing. Your penmanship is shit,” Charlotte interrupted me.

My head snapped up. I prayed London didn’t hear.

“Who’s that?”
No such luck.

I narrowed my eyes at Charlotte, but she appeared unfazed. “Um…that’s Charlotte. I told you about her, remember? She’s dating Justin.”

“Oh. What was she saying about your notes?”

“We have the same history class. I’m sorta letting her look at my notes to help her study.”

“I see.” Her curt tone cut to my heart.

Cupping my hand over the phone, I turned my head. “Baby, we’re just studying. Nothing more.”

“I know,” she said, but I couldn’t tell if she did. “I better let you go so you can study for your tests. I have homework too, actually.”

“Okay.” I wanted to keep her on the phone, to assure her that everything was all right. But I was tired and I had a night of studying ahead of me. “I’ll call you tomorrow, all right?”

“All right.” Before I could say anything else, she’d hung up.

Staring at the phone in my hand, my heart sank.

“Seriously, what the hell does this say?” Charlotte stood over me, pointing to a sentence in my notebook.

Irrational anger bubbled inside of me. “You couldn’t have waited until I was off the phone to ask me about it?”

My voice came out harsher than I intended, and Charlotte reeled back. “Sorry, but I have about five million pages of notes to get through, and I didn’t know how long you’d be on the phone.”

“I don’t want London getting the wrong impression.”

“If she doesn’t trust you by now, then clearly she’s got problems.”

I cocked my head, surprised by her statement. “What makes you say that?”

“Please. It’s so obvious that you’re never going to cheat on her. I only wish a guy would love me the way you love your girlfriend.” There was a hint of bitterness in her voice, and I wondered how much she knew about the way Justin was feeling about their relationship. “You’re like the last true gentleman out there.” She elbowed me in the shoulder. “Maybe it’s because of your grandparents’ influence.”

I froze. “How did you know I was raised by my grandparents?”

Her face looked stricken, but she quickly smoothed it out. “I guess Justin must’ve mentioned it.”

I supposed it seemed plausible, but also kind of weird. Why would Justin be discussing my family situation with Charlotte? He was hardly the type of guy to gab about stuff like that. Then again, how else would she have found out?

“Anyway, can you please explain to me what this says so I can get out of your hair?” Her index finger tapped the page.

As I read the sentence to her, I hoped she would finish quickly. It had already been a long night, and I wanted nothing more than a little time to myself.

London

After yanking my English book out of my locker, I received a text from Cooper. Relief swept over me when I read it. Not that I would readily admit it, but I’d been a little worried about our relationship since he went back to college after break. He’d been so busy lately, he’d hardly had time for me. I tried to be understanding about it since I knew things were tough for him right now, but hearing that girl’s voice in the background during our phone call last night sort of threw me.

Cooper: I miss u.

I dropped my book into my backpack and then shot a text back.

Me: I miss u 2.

Once I’d slammed the locker shut, I leaned my back against it.

Cooper: My tests are done, and tonight I don’t have much homework. Wanna skype? I need to see your face.

I smiled, my hands shaking as I responded.

Me: I’d love to.

Cooper: Can’t wait. Luv u.

Me: Luv u 2.

Sighing, I dropped my phone into my pocket.

“I’ve gotta say. I seriously misjudged you.” Madison stood in front of me, studying my face. She hadn’t said one word to me in the last three weeks since we’d returned from Christmas break. I kind of thought maybe she’d leave me alone indefinitely after the way Cooper treated her in the tree lot. At the memory a smile played on my lips. “I always pegged you as an uptight goodie two-shoes.”

I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out where she was going with this.

“But clearly you’re a lot kinkier than you want people to believe.” She wore a sly grin.

I shifted on my heels, squirming under her intense gaze. “What the hell are you talking about?” A sense of déjà vu hit me, and I wondered if I had a post-it note with the word SLUT written on my back again.  Reaching behind me, I ran my fingertips over my back but didn’t find anything.

“Well, it’s clear that you’re doing something to keep Cooper interested.” She leaned forward. “I had no idea you had it in you.”

I slithered away from her. “I have no idea what you’re getting at.” Turning my head, I attempted to step around her. But she stood directly in front of me, making it impossible to pass. My pulse quickened.

“Oh, come on.” There was a bright gleam in her eyes. “I know Cooper.”

“Actually, according to him, you really don’t,” I pointed out.

She faltered momentarily, and I couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied. However, she quickly regained composure. “Well, I know guys like him, and I know what it takes to keep them satisfied.”

My insides coiled. “Last I heard you didn’t have a boyfriend, Madison, so maybe you don’t know what it takes to keep a guy satisfied.”

“Perhaps you’re right. Maybe you could enlighten me sometime. I’d love to know the kinky stuff you’re doing to keep Cooper interested. I mean, you must be doing some dirty ass shit if he’s staying with you even when he’s around all those wild college girls.”

Anger surged, and I shoved Madison away from me. “How dare you.”

“What? I thought we were having harmless girl talk.” She scrambled to keep up with me.

“Save your breath. I know what you’re up to.”

“Okay, I guess I deserve that since we’ve never really been friends.”

I snorted. “You could say that again.”

“But you don’t have to be so mean. I was just curious about how you’re able to hold on to Cooper even though he’s gone away to college. I mean, can you imagine how many girls are throwing themselves at him?” She nudged me. “It’s a good thing you’re keeping him satisfied during his visits or else there’s no way he’d be able to keep it in his pants while he’s gone. As it is, I’m sure it’s difficult.”

My breath caught in my throat. The bell rang out. “I have to go.” Swallowing hard, I spun around.

“Okay. That’s fine. We’ll talk later,” she called after me as I tore down the hallway, my heart racing.

By the time I reached my English class I felt dangerously close to puking. Visions of Cooper’s last morning here flashed through my mind. The way he touched me and kissed me; the look on his face when I encouraged him to go further. The disappointed flicker in his eyes when his grandparents came home, forcing us to stop. I knew Cooper had needs. As sweet and patient as he had been about waiting, I knew he’d been with girls before me. And I was sure Madison was right. Girls probably did throw themselves at him all the time. In fact, Charlotte was probably one of them. I had no idea what Justin looked like, but I was guessing he wasn’t as hot as Cooper.

It’s not that I didn’t trust Cooper. I did. Seriously. With all my heart. But I wasn’t stupid. I knew what guys thought about ninety percent of the time. Even Cooper. If all the sexual jokes and innuendo were indicators, then Cooper had his mind on sex a lot. And I was sure there were plenty of girls who would give it to him at a moment’s notice. As much as Cooper loved me, did he really have that much self-control? Should I even expect him to?

“Everyone get out your copy of Great Expectations by Charles Dickens,” Mrs. Lavering called out, holding up her tattered paperback. Her overly permed hair was pulled back in a banana clip as if she thought it was still 1980, and she wore a grey pantsuit. I always felt like I had stepped back in time when I entered this classroom.

Reaching my hand into my backpack, my fingers brushed over binders and papers until at last they found my copy of Great Expectations. I folded my hand around it and yanked it out. Shuffling and talking ensued around me as the other students took this opportunity to get in last-minute conversations. I dropped the book on my desk and grabbed out a pen and notebook.

“The novel is called Great Expectations. Do you think the novel portrays great expectations in a favorable or non-favorable way?” Mrs. Lavering asked.

That was an easy answer, and my gaze swept the classroom waiting for someone to raise their hand. I knew if they didn’t Mrs. Lavering would call on me. I blew out a breath when a girl in the second row lifted her arm. I couldn’t remember her name. She was new this year, and I’d never spoken to her. She played basketball, so she’d immediately found a group to plug into. I’d always envied people like that. People who had a gift that helped them to find acceptance. It’s like they had built in friends. My mind flitted to Cooper and how baseball had helped him fit in. Then again, I imagine he’d never have trouble fitting in. Not with his magnetic and outgoing personality.

“I think in a lot of ways it portrays it in a non-favorable way. Like how Pip wants to be with Estella the entire book, and she keeps turning him down.”

“But Pip loved her. Do you really think he should have given up on that?” Mrs. Lavering challenged her.

“I don’t know.” New girl bit her lip. “It’s just that it almost seems like Pip isn’t good enough for Estella or something. And I wonder if he’d lowered his expectations, found a girl more like him, maybe he would’ve found happiness.”

“Interesting.” Mrs. Lavering said. “What do the rest of you think? Do you agree that a person should lower their expectations as a way of finding happiness?”

“Of course not,” the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. And they surprised the hell out of me. Not just because I’d spoken them aloud, but because I’d said them at all. Before Mrs. Lavering asked the question I was in agreement with the new girl. I felt like the story was a cautionary tale. I felt bad for Pip and his unfortunate life. But now that Mrs. Lavering worded it that way, I wasn’t so sure.

“Why not, London?” Mrs. Lavering asked.

“I would argue that by lowering your expectations you may never truly be happy. I mean, if Pip had settled for someone he didn’t love as much as Estella, would that other woman ever bring him happiness?” My mind wandered to Cooper. Often I felt like I didn’t belong with him. Like he was too good for me. Yet, there was no one else who made me as happy. There was no one else who made my heart beat fast or my hands clam up. There was no one else who made me feel so alive, so loved. To others it may have seemed like my expectations had been set too high when I fell for him, but I would argue that my expectations were right where they were supposed to be.

They were in the perfect spot.

I couldn’t concentrate.

I’d reapplied my lip gloss for the millionth time and then checked my phone to make sure it was on. It was. Sighing, I glanced out the window. The sky was darkening, stars beginning to emerge among the black canvas.
Why hadn’t he called yet?

Opening up our text thread I read through the messages, double checking that he had wanted to skype tonight. Yep. That’s what he’d said. So then why hadn’t he called? It was getting late. Biting my lip, I wrote out a text and then deleted it. God, I was acting like we’d just started dating. Why was I being so nervous? This was Cooper, for god sakes.

Shaking my head, I shot off a text. Then I sat back, resting my head on my bedframe. The phone was silent in my hand for several minutes. I stared at it as if I was waiting for it to sprout wings or something. As the moments ticked past with no response, uneasiness settled in my stomach, taking up residence. I thought about my conversation with Madison today, and my chest tightened. Twice when I’d called he’d been with that other girl. Was he with her tonight? Is that why he wasn’t answering?

Baby, you’re the only girl I want. The only girl I’ll ever want.

Shaking away the paranoia, I felt silly. He loved me. He wanted to be with me. Why did I keep questioning that? Standing up, I abandoned the phone on the bed and stood in front of the mirror above my dresser. Reaching out, I picked up the brush that sat on top. When I was a little girl I used to watch my mom sit in front of this same mirror and brush her hair. She had long, flowing hair, and I loved the way the light hit it when she dragged the combs through each strand. My hair was now a little past my ears, and it was starting to thicken. As I brushed through it, I took in my reflection, noting with satisfaction that I was starting to look like me again. My face had gained color and filled out a little, my hair framing it in loose curls.

Behind me a sound caught my attention. Spinning around, I ran to my phone and snatched it up.

Cooper: Sorry. I got busy.

I paused. He hadn’t said what he was busy doing. Perching on the side of my bed, a sick feeling filled my stomach, but I pushed it down. I was sure he was just busy with school work or baseball. He’d given me no reason not to trust him.

Me: That’s ok.

Cooper: Justin’s home. Talk on the phone instead?

Disappointment filled me, but I shook it off. We’d only skyped once since he’d been back, and I was dying to see his face. But I supposed hearing his voice was the next best thing.

Me: OK.

My phone rang in response.

“Hey,” I answered, scooting onto my bed and tucking my legs up to my chest.

“Hey, baby. I’m so sorry about earlier. The day just got away from me.”

He sounded so tired that my heart went out to him. “You sound exhausted.”

“I am. You have no idea.”

“You all right?” All my earlier misgivings faded away, worry for Cooper’s well-being taking over.

“I’ll survive.” The defeatist tone was a new one, and so unlike Cooper.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You’re doing it. Just hearing your voice helps me, baby.”

I wanted to ask him what was going on. I wanted to press him about baseball and school, and I was desperate to know about the girl he seemed to always be with when I called. But all the questions died on my lips. Cooper needed me to just be here for him. He didn’t need to be interrogated by me. I sighed. “I love you, Coop.”

“I love you too, baby.”

I waited, but it never came.

He never said the word “always.”