FORBIDDEN (8 page)

He was right. I sighed. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do yet. Just give me the details. I need to figure out how to make it as easy as possible for her to pass.”

“It’s a car accident. It’s going to rain pretty hard tomorrow, and Angie will hydroplane coming home. The car rolls a couple times. It won’t be immediate, but it’ll be quick. They might not even feel much.”

I couldn’t believe he could talk rationally about something this horrific. Didn’t he know how much pain the rest of the family would feel? The emptiness inside they’d experience? The what ifs, the absence for game nights?

No. He wouldn’t. I wouldn’t either, if I had one ounce of sanity left. I nodded. “You’re probably right.”

Ethan sighed and put his hand on my shoulder. “Just promise me this. Think about whatever it is you want to do, but don’t do any more than that. I can’t protect you, just Calls.”

“Yeah, I know.”

He turned to head back to Angie’s by the looks of it. “Figured I better watch over her tonight even if she’s gone tomorrow. Don’t want to quit early and look bad, you know?”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

He turned to go, but stopped in mid stride. “Hey, Levi.”

“Hmm?”

“She’s just a human, dude. It’s natural. She’s had her time on earth.”

I didn’t say any more. He crouched low and the skin along his spine rippled as he prepared to pull out his wings. I looked away and heard his feet leave the ground. A black feather landed near my foot. I wanted white wings of a Guardian, but if mine had to remain black – or even be gone permanently – to give Hannah the chance to live, so be it.

* * *

I sat on the outside sill of Hannah’s window holding my hoodie in my hands. My wings balanced me. It looked like some overgrown bird of prey was lurking outside the window. If anyone saw the massive set of wings smashed against it, they’d probably have a coronary.

Everyone but Hannah, of course.

The window slid against my feathers. I hopped off the sill and hung in midair, trying to fasten on a smile as Hannah opened the window.

“You know, most guys give warning before coming over to meet the family.”

“I’m not a normal guy. Rules don’t work the same.”

She laughed. “This is probably true. You wanna tell me what that was about? You had everyone pretty convinced you were a nice, quiet guy until you bolted.”

I slid through her window and watched her carefully take inventory of me once more. Again, her eyes strayed to my wings. “You’re not wearing a shirt.”

I lifted my hoodie. “It’s kind of non-conducive. You go through a lot of clothes, busting your wings out and what not.”

She nodded. “Makes sense, I guess. It’s still weird, though. And I’m still mad you’re not an angel.”

There wasn’t enough time to banter with her or feel bad about not being what she wanted. I had to cut to the chase. “Look, Hannah, you can’t go to school tomorrow.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re gonna die.”

Her eyes widened, then narrowed. “Why would you say something like that?”

“Because it’s the truth!”

“You’re not even an angel. You can’t know things like that if you’re not an angel.”

I let out a loud sigh in frustration. “Information gets passed along the same way it does when you’re human, thank you very much.”

“If I’m going to die, how does it happen?”

“You don’t need to know, because you’re not going to be in the position to die. That’s my job, remember?”

“I’m going to die at some point. I thought you were only supposed to be around until it was my time. If an angel somewhere is saying it’s my time to go, why are you arguing with them?”

The girl was being ridiculously flippant about the prospect of dying. Either she was an idiot, or she was terrified and didn’t want to admit it. My money was on terrified. Her eyes gave her away. Plus, her heart was going nuts. I looked at her earnestly, willing her to see sense.
“Of course you’ll die. But it shouldn’t be tomorrow.”

“Are you supposed to care this much?”

“No.”

“Then why do you?”

She had a legit question. I didn’t have a legit answer. “I don’t know. You’re not a normal Call. I can’t explain it, I just feel stronger about you living. It doesn’t seem fair for you to go tomorrow. You should just be happy I want to keep you alive longer.”

She sighed, then her voice cracked. Tears threatened to overflow, but she fought them back. “I’m not ready to die.”

“I know you’re not. I wasn’t, either. Maybe that’s why I don’t want you to have to go so soon. It just feels… wrong.”

That seemed to shock her. The urge to pull her into my arms and tell her things would be okay was overpowering. I stood my ground, though, and instead opted to swing my arms like a complete idiot. She almost laughed, I think. “How old are you?”

I wasn’t expecting that question. “What do you mean?”

“Your age?”

“Oh. Uh, what year is it?”

She cocked her head to the side, looking at me like I’d lost my mind. “Are you serious? It’s 2011.”

I did some quick math in my head. “Oh. Okay, then. I’m one hundred and one.”

“You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not. I was born in 1910.”

She sucked in a gasp. “How old were you when you died?”

“Sixteen.”

“I’m sixteen.”

“I know.”

We stood there in silence as she marinated on what I’d told her. Why did it matter to her how old I was? I was dead. Dead was dead and age didn’t matter anymore.

She nodded slowly, seeming to come to terms with things. “So. I’m going to die.”

“You’re supposed to, anyway.”

“You don’t want me to.”

It wasn’t a question. She smiled sadly when I shook my head to confirm her words. “You’re kind of strange, you know that, right? You’re all dead, aren’t an angel, but don’t want me to die. Isn’t that like totally counterproductive to your plan or something?”

“I’m not the Grim Reaper, Hannah.”

She laughed. “So why are you in bad angel land?”

“You mean hell?”

“It’s real?”

I sighed. Humans could be so naïve. “Yes, hell is real.”

She nodded numbly. “Okay. It’s real. So why are you there?”

“I’d rather not discuss it.”

This was getting more and more awkward. Why were we talking about me, anyway? Wasn’t she supposed to be the one freaking out and begging not to die or something? There was a knock at the door, then her dad came in. Hannah freaked. “Dad, I promise I didn’t plan on it –”

“What are you talking about?”

She looked behind her to see me sitting on the window sill with my fingers pressed against my lips. She was confused, but recovered quickly. “Sorry, Dad, I just hadn’t planned on telling you about Levi tonight.”

He smiled. “It’s okay, Sweetie. He’s a little quiet, but he’s respectful. Don’t let him get in your pants.”

“Dad!”

He laughed and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you. Get some sleep.”

“Thanks, I love you too.”

When he closed the door she turned to me. “Only I can see you.”

“Only you can see me all the time,” I corrected.

“So you pick and choose?”

“Basically.”

She shook her head. “If I live through tomorrow, will you stop being so cryptic and tell me things about yourself?”

I laughed. “Sure. But you have to live through tomorrow.”

“I have you, so I’m good, right?”

A stab of unease crept through me. “Well, I’m all you’ve got, so you better hope so.”

TEN

Hannah left her window open so I could sit and watch over her. I draped one leg out of the window like she had only last night.

It felt like that had happened ages ago. She’d refused to talk to me, and now she was asking me questions about my past. Funny how things could change so quickly.

Everything that moved made me jump. I kept expecting another Fallen to show up, trying to derail my last twenty-four hours with Hannah early. Why had the Fallen come after Hannah and Angie in Rome, anyway? Sure, Rome was an ancient city full of dark history. Weird things happened in Rome all the time. But for them to seek out a human specifically – to stalk them – that was something I’d never heard of.

I started thinking about all the things Hannah would never get to do if she died tomorrow. She’d never grow up. She seemed genuinely concerned about me when she’d heard I’d died at her age. She felt for me. She loved her family. She loved photography and playing her violin. Her favorite color was purple, which was the color of the bedspread she was now sleeping underneath. She hated spiders and she always rooted for the underdog in sports.

These were just some of the things I’d picked up while being her Guard for the past three years. I still didn’t know what kind of soul she had.

Why I wasn’t privy to her soul information or to the way she would die baffled me. I’d never been left out in the dark before. Why would Owen not tell me these things now? Sure, he could be a pain, but even pains had to follow the boss’s orders at some point.

What if Owen wasn’t telling me things to screw me over? He had always said I didn’t deserve a second chance. Maybe he was making sure I didn’t get one. Ethan could say all he wanted about Owen being a good guy, but I hadn’t seen it yet. Maybe I was just too hard on the guy. I resolved to try harder to see things his way. It couldn’t be easy being in charge of all of us Guards.

“I’m cold.”

Her voice quivered through the darkness. It was unusually cold. I hadn’t realized it, but my wings must have wrapped themselves around my body to keep me from the cold. I stretched and stood up from the window. “Do you need another blanket?”

Her eyes peered over the comforter and she blushed. “Can you just stay by me?”

“I haven’t left.”

She rolled her eyes. “I mean
stay
by me. I’m supposed to die tomorrow and I’ve never even slept with a guy.”

I blushed. “I’m not sleeping with you.”

“Not like that!”

Oh. Phew. Okay. Not that I didn’t like girls or whatever, but that just seemed weird. Plus, it was one of the rules I hadn’t managed to break. Yet. “Oh. Uh, sure. Let me just put my jacket on. Don’t look.”