FORBIDDEN LOVE (17 page)

“Danielle, are you all right?” And for a moment, she thought he cared. Then he pulled his hands back as though burned. “I’ll get someone to take you home,” he said and started to edge around her.

“I’m fine,” she gritted through clenched teeth. “There are drugs for
this
type of pain,” she said. “Good-bye, Hawk Charbonnet. I love you. I always will.”

Hawk studied the latest reports from Andrea on his Généreux holdings in order to keep himself from thinking about what was to happen tonight. He looked at the date and realized it had been six weeks since he’d left Resurgence and all of his other businesses in his assistant’s hands. Six weeks since he’d ripped his own heart out. He’d spent most of that time either mired in the bottom of a bottle or sleeping off the effects of the bottle from the day before.

Things were happening much more slowly with his operations in Généreux than he’d anticipated. He knew it was because he wasn’t there to pay personal attention. Although Andrea was a very capable woman, she wasn’t the key player and people knew that. All of his development strategies for the Tower and the Pier District had depended on his ability to personally persuade the city officials and potential customers to see things his way. Now permits were being tied up in bureaucracy, executive leases of the Tower suites were slow, and media coverage was starting to take on a critical tone. Something should be done.

He flipped to the next page of the report, and the small words at the bottom of the page seemed to leap out at him. Yesterday afternoon Danielle Delacroiux and Todd Tollefson had filed a thirty-day notice of intent to nullify their lease.

So, she’d finally decided to move on. It was what he wanted, wasn’t it? Then why was it killing him to know Danielle wouldn’t be living under his roof, to know that someday another’s arms would hold her, another’s lips would kiss her. Hawk had been waiting for this to happen, hadn’t he? For her to move on and be happy?

He sucked in air through his nose, trying to fill his lungs, a drowning man breathing in the sea, going down for the last time.

He started to ball the report when he realized there was another page. A small newspaper article from the gossip column of the
Généreux Spectator
had been scanned and was included as an attachment.

Rumors have been circulating throughout Europe that bad-boy heir apparent to the vast Charbonnet holdings may no longer be London’s most eligible bachelor. Julian Charbonnet confirmed yesterday that his son, Hawk Charbonnet, is seriously involved with the lovely and wealthy Olympia Demetrios, niece of shipping magnate Constantine Demetrios.

When asked if wedding plans were in the works, Julian would only say that the two were inseparable and we should look for an announcement very soon. He added the happy couple would no doubt reside in Généreux in order to be near their families. Sounds serious to us.

Hawk Charbonnet, owner and developer of the Renaissance Tower here in Généreux, has been in London for several weeks and was not immediately available for comment.

“Deuce, can you come in here a minute?” Hawk called out, checking his watch. Failing to convince himself that it was too early to start drinking, he poured a generous shot of whisky into his coffee. He was wondering why he was bothering with the coffee when Deuce walked in.

“A little early, Hawk, don’t you think?” Deuce said.

“Never too early. Hell, it’s surely five o’clock somewhere. Besides, I thought I’d start the celebration early. It seems my father couldn’t wait to let the cat out of the bag.” He grabbed the report from Généreux and tossed it at Deuce. “Go on, take a look.”

Deuce scanned the report. His eyes flickered for a moment when he looked at the news article, but Hawk realized he wasn’t surprised to see the note about Danielle and Tolley.

“You already knew they were moving!” Hawk accused.

“I did,” Deuce said, tossing the report back on Hawk’s desk. “What of it? You’ve made it abundantly clear that it’s no longer your concern what Dani Delacroiux does. Christ, Hawk, you’re getting fucking engaged tonight! Party of the goddamn season. Why would you give a rat’s ass what Dani does?”

Hawk looked at his friend in surprise. Deuce had made plenty of comments about Hawk’s personal choices before, but they were usually along the lines of good-natured teasing. Now Deuce stood with his feet apart, breath deliberately slowed, fists balled at his side. Hawk recognized the fight position. Deuce was pissed.
Who the fuck does he think he is to judge me?

Suddenly, all the rage that had been building over the last six weeks burst from Hawk and he surged to his feet, knocking over his chair and spilling his coffee. He rushed around the desk and took a swing at Deuce, snapping his head back with a swift right hook. Deuce’s knees buckled for a moment, but he stayed upright. Hawk crowded into him, protecting with his shoulder, pounding with his fists in a machine-gun volley of body blows.

Deuce took the beating with his hands by his sides, giving nothing more than a grunt for each blow that landed.

“Goddamn it, hit me back,” Hawk demanded after each blow. “Hit me back, hit me back.”

****

Deuce stood there and took the beating. He was a former Navy SEAL. This wasn’t the first beating he’d taken, but it was the first he taken from someone he knew he could defeat. Not easily, because he and Hawk regularly worked out together and had sparred for years. The man was strong and he was quick on his feet. But as much as the blows hurt, Deuce wasn’t going to relent and give Hawk the ass-kicking he was begging for. That would be letting him off the hook too damn easy.

When Hawk’s arms began to fall and he repeatedly left himself unprotected, Deuce took one shot. With lightning speed, he thrust the heel of his palm at the center of Hawk’s chest.

As Hawk’s knees buckled, Deuce lowered him to the couch and waited while his friend struggled to breathe through the spasms in his solar plexus.

“Now that you’ve gotten that out of your system, I have two other bits of news for you,” Deuce said calmly. He waited for Hawk to meet his gaze before he continued. “Olympia and her entourage are arriving in an hour so you can spend the day getting
acquainted
before your engagement party tonight. Which, I am obliged to point out, is the second most asinine thing you’ve ever done in your life!”

He waited, but when Hawk didn’t respond, he went on. He knew he didn’t have much time. “The other item concerns my employment.”

Hawk blinked in surprise. “What the hell are you talking about?” he wheezed, rubbing his chest.

“I’ve arranged for Gomez to take over the on-site security for you. You don’t need me as a bodyguard anymore, particularly in light of this agreement between the Charbonnet and the Demetrios families.” Deuce joined Hawk on the couch. “Consider this my formal resignation. I’ll stay on as chief of security and coordinate everything from Généreux, if you want me to, but only up to eight more weeks. Give you a little time to find my replacement if you don’t want Gomez. He’s a good man, though, and I’m prepared to step aside as soon as you and he are ready.”

“What the fuck, Deuce?” Hawk said, clearly stunned by the announcement.

“I’m moving on, Hawk. It’s just time. We can still talk from time to time, but I can’t sit around day after day and watch what you’re doing to your life anymore.” He waited for a beat, then added, “Hawk, I need to tell you something.” The flush he felt crawling up his neck made him want to curse. “Tolley and I, well, we…um, we’re going to be getting a place together.”

“Tolley and…What? Deuce, what in the bloody hell are you talking about? Why would I care who your housemate is? And what does that have to do with quitting?”

Deuce just stared at Hawk, willing him to connect the dots. Shit, he really didn’t want to say all this out loud. On the other hand, maybe he could use this to get through to Hawk before it was too late. He had to try.

“Hawk, when you came back from your first evening with Dani, you didn’t have to tell me she was special. I could see the change in you. You looked like you’d been hit by a bus. She was the one…Hell, this sounds corny, but I think she was your soul mate.”

He raised a hand when Hawk started to interrupt. “Hold on—this isn’t really about you. It’s about me. And Tolley. I think he might be the one for me, too.” He stood abruptly and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Fuck.”

Hawk just stared for a long moment. Then in a low voice, he said, “What the fuck are you talking about? I know damn well you’re not gay. Is this some goddamn half-baked idea that you think will make some point about Danielle that I haven’t already thought of?”

“Hawk, I told you this isn’t about you and Dani, but in a way it is. I’m not gay. I like women, too. I always have, but I’ve never had a problem with admiring a good-looking man, either. I just never thought…” he trailed off, his face burning.

“Anyway, Tolley and I had this thing going on between us, this attraction, I guess. I kept looking at him and wondering, you know, like you do when you see an interesting woman. I’m a little older than you, Hawk. I’ve done pretty much as I pleased my whole life. These last few years working with you has been a great experience, but I want more. I want a chance at that one relationship that will last a lifetime. God, I can’t believe I’m saying this shit, but I want love.

“You had that chance with Dani and I watched you throw it away because you were afraid. I’m scared as all fucking shit to try a relationship with Tolley. When I think about…well, anyway, there’s plenty about it that scares me. But what scares me more is knowing I had a chance at forever with someone and let it all slip away.”

“It’s not the same,” Hawk choked out. “You weren’t there, you don’t know. I believed she was dead. God, Deuce. You were gone and I couldn’t find anything out. Then I saw Tolley and Espinoza, and I just
knew
she’d been killed. The world went dark for me. I honestly could have died right then because nothing…
nothing
was worth living for in a world without Danielle.”

Hawk’s eyes were filled with tears, and his voice was thick with emotion. “My father sets some sort of unholy store by what he considers family, but it is family on his terms. He believes in marriages designed to strengthen a family or business connection. He and Constantine consider themselves competitors but recognize the mutual benefit of a merger between the families.

“A match between a Delacroiux and a Charbonnet would forever be unacceptable because of the history of our families and because they don’t bring any strength to his position. My father would consider it much more than just a bad choice.

“I know you think I should just tell him to go to hell. Believe me, I very nearly did. But if I do that and defy him to be with Danielle, who is a Delacroiux through and through, he will consider me dead to him.”

“Fuck that, Hawk!” Deuce said. “You don’t need him or his money. If you get your head out of your ass and get back to Généreux and run your business the way you want, you’ll be richer than he is in a few years. Why do you care what he thinks?”

Hawk looked at him with eyes that were cold and flat. “Because if I am dead to him, I am no longer family. Then I will become one of the enemies. He would never rest until he destroyed all that I love. He would start with my businesses, find a way to take them over or destroy them. He would come after you, after Tolley. He would come after people Danielle loves, her mother, her father. Eventually, he would come after her. He wouldn’t rest until I was destroyed. Marrying Olympia will restore the balance and keep Danielle safe from my father and any of his associates.”

Deuce felt the depth of Hawk’s despair wash over him, but now was not the time for pity. No, now that he understood the depth of Hawk’s fear, he had only this one last chance to change his mind.

“I’m sorry, Hawk,” he said. “I know you’re afraid of what your father might do, but this was never your decision to make alone. You took Dani’s choice away. Hell, you took my choice away. You decided you knew what was right for everybody around you, and that you alone could fix it by agreeing to this absurd marriage and kowtowing to Julian’s demands.

“You’re no better than your father, playing fucking chess and strategizing with everybody’s lives. You could have spent your days surrounded by people who love you. Smart people who could have worked with you to take your father out of the picture. Instead, you chose to be a noble and self-sacrificing ass, and push everyone away. You alone decided what was best for the rest of us.

“You think you’re the only one
really
suffering because you locked yourself away and refuse to look at the destruction you left in your wake. You don’t even know what’s happening in Dani’s life right now!

“Hawk, if you don’t hear anything else I’m telling you, hear this. You’re a fool if you think your father won’t go after Dani once you’re married to Olympia.

“Julian knows Dani will always be a threat, because as long as she’s out there, the possibility exists you could change your mind. He’ll deal with her in a way you can’t pin on him. My best guess is a police shooting or a car accident. As soon as you marry Olympia, you are signing Dani’s death warrant. Mark my words:
Dani will be dead within the year
.”

He looked at his watch, looked back at Hawk’s pale face, so full of anger, so full of hurt. “Olympia will be here any minute. You should consider cleaning yourself up to make a good first impression on your
fiancée
. I’m out of here. I can’t stand to watch you destroy what’s left of your life.”

“It was certainly easier moving in, even if it did piss me off,” Dani said, distastefully eyeing the stack of flattened cardboard that was awaiting strips of tape and her belongings.

“Come on, Dani,” Tolley said. “Let’s leave this for tonight. We’ve got until the end of the month. At least the boxes are up here now, that’s something. How about some dinner? I’ve got just enough time before I pick Deuce up at the airport.”

“Oh, are they—” she broke off, flushed. “Sorry. It’s been six weeks, you’d think I’d quit asking, huh?”

“It’s okay. Things are bound to be awkward for a while. And I doubt Hawk’s with him.” He took a deep breath, and Dani realized he was steeling himself to tell her something she didn’t want to hear. “I think his engagement party is tonight. Deuce said he wouldn’t stick around and watch. He quit his job. Gave two months’ notice so they could replace the chief of security position, but said he’d only work from here.”

Dani felt as though she’d been stabbed straight through the heart. How could Hawk go through with this? How could he get engaged to someone else when he’d said he loved
her
? She’d been so naive to believe him. She’d nearly convinced herself that his leaving had nothing to do with his feelings and everything to do with keeping her safe. Until she’d found out he was getting married.

He’d told her once that Julian believed arranged marriages, because people understood business, but that didn’t explain this. She turned away from her painful inner thoughts.

“So. You and Deuce, huh? You’re really going to do this? Get a house together? That’s such a huge commitment, Tolley. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks, honey, I know you are. I just wish…” he trailed off.

“I know. Me too. Go on now. Go get your man. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? I could text him to catch a cab. He wouldn’t mind.”

“I’m sure. I think I’ll go for a run. I need to burn off a little tension,” Dani said. “I’ll get out of your hair for tonight so you can have the run of the place.”

“No, that’s not something you’re going to do,” Tolley said. “We’ll have a late dinner together, the three of us. Maybe watch a movie. I mean it, Dani. I want you here with us tonight. Promise me?”

Dani looked at her friend for a long time and saw he was sincere. She saw something else, too. It finally looked as if Tolley would find his happily ever after. She could be happy for him. She’d make tonight a little celebration for just the three of them. It was as if they were starting a new friendship built on the solid foundation of the past.

“Yeah. I promise. I’ll order the pizzas and get some beer in the refrigerator. I’ll see you when you get back. Dinner at seven!”

Tolley bounced onto the elevator, and Dani went to her room to put on her running clothes. She pulled on a tight-fitting jogging bra, slipped on her capri-length running tights, and grabbed her Sauconys. She caught site of herself in the mirror and realized she’d lost more weight. She knew she hadn’t been eating or sleeping well since Hawk had gone. She needed to start taking better care of herself. She had to be in top condition for her job, not this distracted, mopey-eyed waif. She twisted her hair into a hasty braid, pulled on a visor, and headed for the elevator.

She waited while the car made the return trip from the lobby, but realized she’d forgotten her water. Detouring back to the kitchen and grabbing the bottle, she returned to find the elevator open and waiting for her.

And so was Hawk.

Dani stopped dead in her tracks, a thousand thoughts running through her mind at once. She kept her expression neutral, unsure of his intentions. She was equally unsure of her own reactions. What was he doing here? He was supposed to be celebrating his engagement thousands of miles away. Did this mean he’d called it off? Had he come to his senses?

Torn between the desire to throw herself into his arms and wanting to kick his ass for being stupid, Dani decided her run was exactly what she needed before she heard what he had to say. She needed time to clear her head.

“Hawk,” she said casually. “I was just about to take a run. Want to come with me?”

She was surprised when he gave a curt little nod and turned back to cross through to his own place.

“Give me five minutes,” he said through a tight jaw.

“Meet you downstairs,” Dani called to his retreating back, reluctantly admiring the way his faded jeans hugged his ass. Blowing out a breath, she headed down.

Dani had completed her warm-up by the time Hawk came outside, so she worked on catching her breath while he stretched. It wasn’t easy considering he wore a loose pair of running shorts, sneakers, and nothing else. His broad expanse of golden chest with its brush of soft brown hair made her want to whimper. Or lick and bite. There was no way she could run alongside him. She’d have to be in front.

She set her watch for a brutal pace. “Let’s go,” she called out and took off.

Hawk had a long, easy stride, and her much shorter legs took two steps to his one. He matched his pace to hers, which pissed her off, because he made it look so effortless. Still, she pounded through the first mile ahead of the eight-minute pace she normally targeted. She kept up the pace through miles two and three. Neither of them spoke. By mile four, Hawk’s gait became just a little uneven. He was finally working at keeping up with her. So she turned it up another notch and finished the last two miles at closer to seven minutes each—and leaving a very winded Hawk to wobble in several yards behind her.

Her muscles were liquid fire, but her mind was blessedly uncluttered by the confusing thoughts she’d started with. She knew what she wanted, but she needed to hear his terms. If he’d returned with the idea she’d be willing to serve as a side dish, he was mistaken. It would be all or nothing in this battle. She took a few minutes to let her breathing and pulse rate slow while she stretched her muscles out once more, then headed for the elevator.

They rode up together in a companionable silence, each with a key card in the elevators respective slots so when they reached the top both the front and the rear elevator doors opened.

Dani risked a look at Hawk and nearly passed out from the sudden wash of desire that ran through her. He was a sweaty mass of gorgeous man. The muscles in his chest and stomach were hard and defined from the exertion, his hair damp against his flushed skin. Her gaze followed the trail of hair as it narrowed to where it traced the valley between his abs and still lower until it disappeared beneath the waistband of his shorts.

Hawk’s expression darkened and his nostrils flared. He stared at her as if he really were the devil incarnate, the evil Charbonnet she’d heard about all her life. Dani took a step backward out of the elevator and he stalked out after her, sleek and graceful. Predatory.

“Fuck,” he swore. Without further warning, he grabbed her wrist and yanked her close enough that her chest pressed against his stomach. Then his mouth came down on hers, hard, possessive. There was no tenderness; just a brutality of a man too long denied what was his.

Dani was more than a match for him. She raked her fingers through his short, dark hair, and pulled his head down to take more. This was what she wanted, what she needed. Wasn’t it?

No!
What she wanted was to pour into that kiss every long, lonely, aching breath she’d taken since he’d left her. The logical part of her brain tried to overpower the screaming desire of her body, forcing her to look past the heat of passion that threatened to explode between them.

Hawk needed to know her pain and heartache. In this moment, this one instant in the story of their lives, she hated him for leaving her, for making her feel unloved, discarded. Most of all, Dani hated Hawk for making her want him.

She pulled her mouth back from his driving kiss, but was unable to break the bonds of his arms. “You bastard,” she spat at him.

“I know,” he groaned and found her mouth again.

For a minute, she was lost, caught up in his kisses. Then she shoved against him and twisted her face away again. “Let go of me! You’re promised to someone else now, remember? You asked someone else to marry you. Let me go!”

“Never!” he growled, his face buried in her hair, pressing against her neck. “There is no one else, Danielle. Only you. Christ, forgive me, it’s only you,” he pleaded, his voice breaking on the prayer.

“I hate you, Hawk Charbonnet! I hate you…”

“You should,” Hawk agreed, as he planted kisses along her neck, her jawline. “Your life would better without me in it. I tried to stay away. God knows I tried. Walk away from me now, Danielle Delacroiux, walk away. One of us has to be strong enough. If you don’t walk away now, I’ll never let you go again.”

“Oh, God,” Dani said. Their lips met in another searing kiss, tongues hot, lips and teeth joining in a desperate struggle. His tongue stroked hers as he loosened the braid that restrained her hair.

Harsh breathing filled the air, punctuated by murmurs of need, mutterings of encouragement. Possessive hands slid down her back, following her curves, cupping her ass. With a jerk, he pulled her tight against him. His long fingers dug in, claiming her, squeezing and lifting until she was tight against his cock.

Shameless
, Dani thought.
He left me without explanation, without apology, and here I am plastered against him, again.
She couldn’t make herself push away. Her hands were restless, touching every part of him she could reach. His chest was still slightly damp from their run and she rubbed her hands over his pecs, pinched his nipples, scraped her fingers through his chest hair. She ground her mons against his cock and resented the clothes that separated them.

She wrenched her head back long enough to see which apartment they’d stumbled into.
His, good.
Then she was pulling at his hair, his clothes, anything she could reach in order to bring him still closer.

He swept her into his arms, and never breaking his kiss, he strode through the apartment to his room. He tossed her onto his bed and then just stood there staring at her as if he were memorizing how she looked in his bed. Then he kicked off his shoes, slid his shorts and socks off, and stood before her, baring his emotions along with his flesh.

Dani kicked at her shoes, even as she struggled to squeeze out of her damp sports bra. Hawk’s hands roughly pushed hers aside and he tugged at her remaining clothes until they were naked, skin against skin. He thrust a finger between her legs, found her wet and ready.

Without any further niceties, Hawk pushed her over onto her stomach and raised her hips. Then he shoved his cock in hard and deep, drawing a moan from Dani that was half pleasure and half pain at the abruptness of his entry. He rode her, his cock sheathed in her heat, rough and fast.

Dani had dreamed of their reunion, of their gentle lovemaking and quiet celebration. This was not that dream. This was fucking. He was claiming her with what felt like a fierce desperation to mark her as his. He’d never taken her from behind before. In this position, his cock slammed deep, hitting her cervix with every thrust, drawing small grunts from her every time he drove home. She couldn’t do more than hang on to the bed.

He covered her, forcing her down on her elbows, then lower still. She was pressed into the mattress, the sound of flesh against flesh filled her ears. He snaked one hand under her and he drew some of the slick cream from where they joined, then his finger found her clit.

His teeth skimmed the tender flesh of her neck. “Come for me, Danielle. Come now!”

With his body pressed against hers, he bit down, like a lion claiming his mate and she screamed as her orgasm ripped through her. She went momentarily blind with the pleasure, her inner muscles clamped down hard around the cock that filled her, gripping, squeezing, claiming him, too.

Hawk finally let go of her neck as he came, his hot cum shooting into her, and together they rode the crest of his release. He roared her name, his voice raw with emotion, and with each pulse of his essence, Dani felt a timid return of hope.

****

Hawk rolled off her, flung an arm over his eyes, and waited for his breathing to return to normal. He might have a heart attack if he tried to talk before he caught his breath.

Christ, he’d taken her like an animal, rough, hard, territorial. By God, it was exactly how he felt. She was his. He’d been stupid to let her go. No. He hadn’t let her go. It was past time to be honest with himself, he’d run away from her, from the promise of them. Hawk had compromised everything he’d been fighting for and let his father win. And lost himself in the process.

No more. He was home to stay, to claim his life, and the woman he loved. He would spend his days and nights making things up to her. First, he needed to tell her how he felt.

Hawk rolled onto his side and gently turned Danielle so that she was facing him.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“Yes, I’m okay, and yes, you hurt me,” she answered.

He winced. Her thoughts so closely mirrored his own even though he’d meant had he hurt her with the rough lovemaking. His Danielle would always speak that which was on her mind.

“How could you do that, Hawk? How could you ask another woman to marry you?”

“I didn’t. Not exactly,” he whispered, his voice rough. “I made a bargain with my father and Constantine. A merger between the families, through an arranged marriage, in exchange for a promise of your safety.

“Sugar, I’ve never wanted another woman since the moment I laid eyes on you. Only you. It was only the thought of keeping you safe that made me think I could possibly go through with—I thought I could marry Olympia to prevent Demetrios or my father from hurting you.

“Danielle, I’m sorry. I was stupid to leave without talking to you, without telling you my fears. I was stupid to think I could stay away.”

“You hurt me. Hawk, I won’t go through that again. I can’t.”

“What are you saying, Danielle?” His heart thundered so loudly in his ears he wasn’t even sure he would be able to hear her answer. He was afraid. Christ, had he waited too long? Was the damage to their trust too much?