Forced: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance (The Blackthorn Brothers Book 1) (11 page)

“It was nothing. Nothing happened.”
What the fuck was I doing, lying to him?
And yet I couldn’t tell him the truth. I just needed to get the fuck away from him before it all went to hell and I said something I couldn’t take back.

He’d never look at me the same way if he knew the truth.
Never
. And it would kill me to see the pity in his eyes, and the disgust. I just couldn’t… It was already bad enough that he thought I was some sort of freak when it came to sex. And who could blame him? Even
I
knew it was messed up. Because this wasn’t some sort of consensual BDSM thing where I liked things rough—it was consensual fucked-up sex because I was fucked up in far too many ways.

“You’re lying to me, Wren. But…” He let out a weary breath, though it did little to lessen the anger he was clearly feeling. “I get that I’m the last person you want to talk to about it, especially when you blame me for what happened.”

“I don’t blame you, Ash. Not really. You were right to get as far away from me as possible. Any sane person would have.” And that was the only truth in this whole mess.

“No…I shouldn’t have left you.” This time, when he pulled me into his arms, I let him, needing to let him comfort me and keep my demons at bay. Because at the moment, it felt as if he was my only lifeline, and I might drown in my despair without him. “I swear, Wren…I’m not going anywhere this time around. You have my word. And this goes well beyond taking care of my family.”

How the hell did I end up with someone so sweet and sane and responsible in my corner, fighting for me?
“I believe you. I really do. But…it doesn’t mean I can deal with all of this—and it doesn’t mean you should have to either. You deserve
so
much better than me.”

“Don’t fucking say that, love. Any guy would be lucky to have you.” When he cupped my cheek, I couldn’t help but lean into his touch.

“Any guy with an ounce of sense would run a mile—and that’s exactly what you should do. Trust me, Ash. I’m a mess.” Except that it was so much worse than simply being messed up.

“Then you can be a mess. I’ll be right here by your side to see you through it. Because I’m not leaving you—and I want you to marry me because you actually want to. Not just because of your father.” He fisted my hair and gently pulled my head back, forcing me to look up at him. “You’re mine, little bird. You always have been—just like I’ve always been yours.”

And then he was kissing me, his mouth plundering mine as our tongues clashed and my body came alive, the ferocity of his passion only stoking my need for him. And though there was a huge part of me that thought it was a mistake to let Ash get close, I knew I’d only be delaying the inevitable, because there was no way I could resist him for long.

But then his hold on my hair tightened and he pulled my head back, breaking our kiss. “Say you’ll marry me, Wren.”

“And what if I won’t?” I tried to lean forward and kiss him, but he yanked my head back—just like I’d been hoping for, my cunt aching and going wet for him.

“Then I’ll just have to find a way to convince you to say yes.” With rough hands, he turned me around and bent me over the back of the sofa, pinning me there under his weight. And the more I struggled against him, the more I wanted him, even as my need for him overrode the voices in my head that told me this was fucked up. “Is this what you want?”

“Yes.”
A million times yes…

He shoved my panties aside, not even bothering to remove them, before kicking my legs apart, freeing his cock and plunging into me, pleasure mixing with pain as my body was forced to stretch around his huge cock.

“Fucking hell…you’re so wet…you just love being at my mercy. Don’t you?” Each thrust was harder than the one before, and yet it wasn’t enough. I needed more, needed him to break me…needed him to shatter me into a million pieces, so he could put me back together again. His hand closed around my throat as he pounded into me, squeezing gently. “Answer me, Wren.”

“More, Ash…
I need more
.” I needed the intensity…needed to know that it was Ash claiming my body, even if it would only temporarily erase my nightmare and replace my memories.

“Such a greedy girl…” Each thrust was more intense than the one before, as he carefully tightened one hand around my throat and the other dipped between my legs, teasing my clit, his fingers just a little rough. And fuck, but fighting against that flicker of panic only turned me on all the more.

I let myself get lost in the overwhelming sensations, as my skin prickled with the gathering energy of my orgasm, overwhelming my body, my mind, forcing out all thoughts as I lived in the moment, feeding off the need for more. But then I was coming, calling out Ash’s name, though he didn’t slow his onslaught as I rode through the waves of my pleasure.

He pulled free of my body and pushed me down onto my knees before him, fisting my hair as he thrust his cock into my mouth and fucked it, as I eagerly sucked him, tasting myself on his skin, his forcefulness only making my cunt ache all the more for him, even though I’d just come. His pace quickened, forcing his cock down my throat as I urged him on with my greedy moans until he was finally coming with a primal grunt, murmuring my name as he shot his load in hot spurts down my throat, my head held just where he wanted me, forcing me to swallow everything he had to offer.

His fist tightened in my hair, as I tried to breathe around his cock, my clit still throbbing with need, and my panties soaked. “You’re mine, Wren. And you will be marrying me. Am I making myself clear?”

All I could do was nod and hope that by claiming me as his, he’d release me from the nightmares that had already claimed me for a lifetime.

“Good girl.” He pulled his cock from my mouth and brushed a gentle thumb down my cheek, before kissing me sweetly and then scooping me up into his arms and sitting us down on the sofa, my arms wrapped around his neck. “Tell me you’re okay, love.”

“I’ll always be okay with you, Ash. I know you’d never do anything to hurt me.”
Unlike my stepbrother, who spent years manipulating me, abusing me, raping me.

I pushed thoughts of Steven aside, hating that he could still haunt me from beyond the grave. And if anyone could save me from my past, it was Ash. I’d known that all along, which was why our breakup had left me broken.

But that wasn’t all…Ash had also been the only thing keeping Steven away.
And once Ash was gone…

“Wren…what’s going on in that head of yours? Let me be here for you.” He looked so worried, and it killed me not to be able to set his mind at ease. But even if I told him the truth, I knew it wouldn’t offer him any peace. In fact, it’d be the exact opposite—and Ash would have a million questions that I honestly didn’t have answers to.

And so I picked the obvious. “I guess this means we’re getting married, huh?”

“It’ll be a good thing, love.”

Something was up with Wren—but every time I thought I was going to get to the bottom of it, she found a way to avoid answering my questions. Not that I could push her when she looked so haunted.

And fuck…but it had me wondering yet again if this had been happening all along and I was just too stupid to see it. “I want you to tell me about this guy you dated—the one who was an asshole to you.”

“Well, his name was Ash, and though he was damn sexy, he was a total pain in the ass.” At least she’d turned to humor—and when I tickled her, she laughed. And I swear, I hadn’t heard a sweeter sound. “
I’m kidding
—I’m kidding. You were the only good one. So…if you’re looking for an asshole in my life, take your pick.”

Maybe I needed to let this go and focus instead on our future together, rather than her past. If I could make her happy…if I could give her a fresh start, then maybe she could leave behind the things that seemed to haunt her.

“Come on…we should go out. Head into the city for a bit.” I brushed the hair from her face and kissed her, letting my lips linger on hers as I felt them turn into a smile, the darkness weighing down my heart, easing just a little.

As I drove us into the city, Wren said very little, leaving me to worry about her once again. Reaching over and cupping the back of her neck, I pulled her to me and kissed the top of her head. “Nearly there.”

“Where are we going?” She nestled against my side as I pulled off the highway and maneuvered us through the city.

“It’s a surprise.” One I hoped would work out for the best.

“I don’t like surprises, Ash. You know that.” But then her face lit up as we pulled into the parking lot. “The animal shelter?”

“Yeah…my mom volunteers and fosters dogs from here. And it got me thinking…since you don’t feel comfortable talking to me, maybe…you could talk to a dog.”
I must be fucking losing it.
“I swear, it sounded better in my head.”

She smiled, even as her eyes welled up with tears. “It sounds perfect—and I can’t believe you’d think of something so sweet.”

“No tears, little bird.” I kissed her sweetly, cupping her face in my hands. “Come on…let’s go see if there are any pups in there that’ll be a good fit.”

There were so many different dogs, so many different personalities, so many poor lives that were desperately waiting for a second chance. It was hard not to want to take them all home, but in the end, there was a sweet lab-pitbull mix that’d had a rough start to life—and yet she was still willing to trust people, despite the wrongs she’d endured, her scars all too visible. Sammie was four years old, and she and Wren formed an immediate bond.

It didn’t take long to fill out the paperwork, and after a quick trip to the pet store to get some supplies, we headed to the park by the waterfront and watched the sun set as the ferries and freighters crisscrossed the bay. And with the setting sun sparkling on the water, the moment was perfect. “I know you’re not crazy about marrying me, but I still want you to have this.”

I pulled out the engagement ring I’d picked out for her before heading down to San Francisco and slipped it onto her finger, the large cushion cut diamond reflecting the light of the setting sun, as she shifted her fingers, her gaze on the ring. “It’s beautiful, Ash. But…you really shouldn’t have, given the circumstances.”

And then I did the only thing that was left to do. I got down on one knee, and looked up into her gorgeous grey eyes as I took her hand in mine, doing my best to ignore Sammie as she tried to lick my face. “Wren…I love you, with all my heart. Will you marry me?”

“I will—even if I’m worried that you’ll live to regret it.”

It wasn’t an emphatic yes, but it was a hell of a lot more than I’d hoped for.

I stood and kissed her, pulling her into a hug and loving that she held me back, her face nestled in the crook of my neck. “I know this isn’t easy on you, but I appreciate you setting aside our past and giving this a chance.”

“I can’t make you any promises, and there are no guarantees this will work out. I just hope you know that.” She still looked so worried. But then Sammie leaned into her legs, demanding to be pet, and the change in her was immediate, a smile lighting up her face. “But…Sammie thinks it’s a good idea, and the very least I can do at this point is give this a try and figure out if there’s a way to make the most of our situation.”

“Then I think I owe Sammie one big-ass bone.” I slung my arm over her shoulder, and pulled her to me, kissing her temple as we walked through the park, my heart filling with the hope that we might be able to get through all this and make it work—for real, and not just some half-assed arrangement because I’d cut a deal with her father. “I know things have been fucked up between us, but…I mean it. I love you.”

She let out a ragged breath as I tightened my hold around her, even as her eyes shimmered with tears, though I hated that she still looked so lost. “And I never stopped loving you, Ash. Despite everything.”

“You make me a happy man, little bird.” And she did, especially now that we seemed to be finding our way into a relationship that didn’t involve her wanting to stick a knife in my heart. Now all I had to do is figure out a way to make her happy.

Back at my place, it was quickly decided that Sammie was in dire need of a bath—one she’d so far been incredibly well behaved for, despite looking a bit uneasy at the new experience. With Sammie in the tub, Wren and I knelt by each other’s side as we lathered up the pup.

“Just hold her a sec so I can rinse her off.” As I grabbed the spray nozzle to rinse Sammie off, Wren held onto her. But the moment I turned on the water, Sammie startled and bolted through Wren’s arms, too slick to hold onto, knocking the sprayer from my grip and sending it spraying wildly as Wren fell back laughing, and Sammie ran her over.

I killed the water as Wren calmed Sammie down, her laughter infectious. “Poor pup. And your bathroom…I’m so sorry, Ash. There’s water everywhere—and you’re soaked.”

“It’s nothing a few towels won’t take care of.” I pet Sammie and helped to get her calmed down, before lifting her back into the tub, her wet sudsy body drenching me thoroughly. But this time, when I turned the water on, I kept it just to a trickle, which she didn’t seem to mind.

“There’s my good girl.” Wren showered her with love and reassurance, and before long Sammie was rinsed and towel dried, and the floor had been mopped.

“Come on…” I grabbed her hand and led her to my bedroom, the shower and bath off the master far more luxurious—and dry—than the guest bath. “We’re both drenched, and it’s been a long day, so I think a nice long, hot shower is just what we need.”

She looked up at me and gave me a mischievous smile, the change in her from just a day ago incredible. “Is this just another way to get me naked?”

“You know me so well, little bird.”