Forces of Nature (9 page)

Excerpt from
Alien in My Pocket #7: Telescope Troubles

Read a sneak peek of book seven of the Alien in My Pocket series:
Telescope Troubles

Brain Dump

O
kay, I'm just going admit something right from the start: I've had an alien no bigger than a soda can secretly hiding in my bedroom for the last few months.

You might think that it'd be an amazing thrill—but you'd be mistaken.

I've seen and done things that nobody in human history ever has. I started a city-wide panic and successfully launched a spaceship into orbit out of my own backyard, and I created an electromagnet
strong enough to nearly destroy a city building—all to prevent an alien invasion of planet Earth.

It's been a pretty hectic and stressful few months.

And to be perfectly honest, it's been a lot for a fourth-grader to handle.

I've had trouble sleeping. My grades have suffered. I dislocated my shoulder. It still clicks when I raise my hand. I had to erase my little brother's short-term memory, and now he seems weirder than ever. I almost got eaten alive by a pack of bears. Oh, and I've had to smuggle about four hundred tons of Ritz Crackers and SweeTarts into my room. Amp, my houseguest from the planet Erde, has some odd ideas about food and nutrition.

My parents are convinced I have mental issues, because they often catch me talking, laughing, and arguing in my room—and they think I'm alone! Mom's even taken me to Dr. Bell's office twice now for “a chat,” but he just told her that I was sleepy and slightly confused, but an otherwise perfectly ordinary kid.

If he only knew . . .

There have also been a few more unexpected side effects caused by playing host to an alien. For example, actually knowing a real-life alien totally ruins every movie you see about aliens! And it changes the way you think about Earth: we are
so
not the center of the universe. Most important, it answers the age-old question about whether life exists on other planets—it does, and I have the roommate to prove it.

All this makes evenings like tonight extra special.

See, tonight is my night off. Amp is hanging out with Olivia, my next-door neighbor, classmate, best friend, and the only other person on the planet who knows about the alien hiding out in the McGees' house.

Twice a week Olivia babysits Amp. Or, more accurately, she prevents him from starting a worldwide panic while I get some quality alone time.

What do I do while he's away? These blissful few hours of peace and quiet are often spent cleaning my room—Amp makes a serious mess. Ritz Cracker crumbs and dust are everywhere.
He eats them like a termite eats wood. Sometimes I nap. Sometimes I just stare at the wall and let my brain relax. Like I said, hiding an alien from your parents and little brother can be pretty mentally exhausting.

As the sun dips below the garage roof outside my second-story bedroom window, I fall into a herky-jerky sleep, dreaming about eating a salami-and-worm sandwich in front of my class—it's my brain's favorite weird dream and one I've actually grown to enjoy.

Of course, that nap was the beginning of the end of Amp's time here on Earth.

This is the story of how I let my guard down and how my nosy little brother stepped in and the world as we know it nearly ended.

Meltdown

A
pparently, I didn't feel the first few Milk Duds bounce off my face.

It wasn't my fault. I was sound asleep.

Then one of the chocolate candies hit me square on the front tooth with a loud
click
. I sat up like startled cat.

I blinked in the dim light, trying to make sense of what had hit me.

I picked up the Milk Dud in question and stared at it like it was a bullet from another universe. I put a finger to my tooth and gave it a wiggle to see if the flying candy had knocked it loose.

My sheets, blankets, and pillow were covered with about forty Milk Duds. I popped one in my mouth and started chewing slowly.

Another candy zipped through the dim light
out of nowhere. I was slow to duck—and blink. It beaned me square in the open eye.

“Ouch!” I shouted, pressing a palm to my stinging, watering eye.

I scrambled to the window. The flying candies were coming through the big hole in my window screen. I could see Olivia down in my backyard, eating from and holding the biggest box of Milk Duds I had ever seen.

“Why are you throwing Milk Duds at my face?” I hissed. “You almost blinded me!”

“I called, but your mom told me your doctor says you need to sleep more. She said you might have a sleeping disorder.”

“I do,” I said. “His name is Amp!”

The night sky was sparkling with stars. The little bulb by our back door was on, so I could see Olivia well enough to know something was on her mind.

“What do you want?” I asked. “You're supposed to be babysitting till eleven thirty. Is it eleven thirty already?”

She pushed a wad of half-chewed Milk Duds to the side of her mouth with her tongue. She
now looked like a distracted squirrel. “Something happened,” she said from the other side of her mouth.

I stared down at her. “Something? Can you be more specific?”

“Something bad.”

“How bad?” I said, shaking my head.

She paused, swallowed the gob of chocolate with some effort, and then looked around as if she were trying to figure out how to tell me the news. She sighed. “Amp kinda had a meltdown.”

“What kind of meltdown? I didn't think aliens could even have meltdowns.”

“I didn't think so either.”

“Then what do you mean he had a meltdown?”

“It's like his spirit was broken.”

I grabbed a fistful of my hair in frustration. “What does that mean?” I growled. “Olivia, what's wrong with you? First you almost knock my tooth out, then you nearly blind me, then you get all mysterious.”

“Sorry,” she said, blinking. Now she really did seem upset. She held up the box of candy. “I'm an emotional eater.”

“Okay,” I said. “Take it easy. Just relax. He drives me crazy, too. Where is Amp now?”

“I don't know.”

“Is he nearby?”

“I don't know.”

“Did he come back to my house?”

“I don't know.”

“Which direction did he go?”

“I don't know.”

“Was he going to get something?”

“I. Don't. Know.”

“You're some babysitter! I hope you're not expecting a tip!”

Olivia looked down at her shoes. I thought she might start to cry.

“Okay,” I said. “We'll figure this out. He gets touchy sometimes. When did this all happen?”

“About two hours ago.”

“
What?
He's got a two-hour lead? He can't be out on his own! He can't be seen. He'll get eaten by a cat or a badger.”

“I know that!” she shouted.

“Shhh! My parents . . . Why didn't you come get me earlier?”

“I told you, I tried! Your mom has you in sleepy time lockdown. I was trying to find him on my own so you could get your beauty rest.”

I thought for a moment. “Okay, go get your grandpa's ladder. My mom is not going to let me out, not at this hour. We'll find him together.”

Olivia nodded and walked off, looking relieved to have the beginnings of a plan, any plan, taking shape.

“And save some Milk Duds for me,” I said, trying to make the situation less tense. I'm not sure if it worked. Olivia didn't look back. She disappeared into the hole in the fence between our two backyards.

I popped my screen out and dropped it into the bushes below. I looked around my room. An uneasy feeling overtook me. I quietly closed my door all the way. I could hear my parents talking excitedly down in the kitchen.

I turned back to my empty room. “Somebody remind me to strangle that alien when I get my hands on him.”