Forever Alexa (Book Four In The Bodyguards Of L.A. County Series) (39 page)

Why couldn’t Alex have just stuck to the damn plan? She’d done her part. The authorities had new leads to work with, but it would never be enough. Alex would continue to risk everything in her attempt to save Abby, and Canon and Terron were taking advantage, thinking little of the life they were risking to build their case against a man who would lawyer himself up so deep it would be all but impossible to make anything stick.

“
Fuck
.” Jackson pounded the side of his fist on the window frame and turned away. He moved to his bed, sat on the edge, and rested his face in his hands. Where was Alex, anyway? It had been
hours
since he watched her make a left out of Bayside Café’s parking lot. She and Tucker should’ve been back by now. He wouldn’t be able to rest until she was home. Hell, he wouldn’t be able to
breathe
again until she was finished with this entire mess. A light knock sounded at the door, and his head shot up from the cradle of his palms. “Yeah, come in.”

Alex peeked in. “I wasn’t sure if you would still be up. How did Livy do tonight?”

“Fine. My mother said they went out for ice cream, fed some ducks, read a few stories.” He studied her stunning face. She’d taken off her wig and left her hair tied back. She still wore her sexy schoolgirl outfit. It was impossible not to
want
her with that tiny skirt showing off a sinful amount of leg and that tight yellow shirt accentuating hints of spectacular cleavage beneath the proper white blouse.

She frowned. “You didn’t go with them?”

“No, but Dougie Masterson did. He kept an eye on things around here.”

Her frown deepened. “Where were you?”

“In a surveillance van.”

“You…” She shook her head. “I thought…”

“I was there the whole time—heard everything, saw everything. Did you really think I would let you go through this alone?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. No.” She gave him a jerky shrug and sighed. “No. But you don’t approve of what I’m doing.”

“Damn straight I don’t.” He pushed off the bed to stand. “I’m worried, Alex. This is incredibly dangerous.”

Her eyes filled. “I know.”

“Do you? Do you really understand what you’re getting yourself into?”

“I know we’ve found two of the key players in the Mid-Atlantic sex ring, and they have no intention of letting me walk out of that house tomorrow night. I saw Renzo at the restaurant. He was sitting a few tables away.”

“And you’re still planning to go.” He shoved his hands through his hair. “You’re walking into a losing situation. How am I supposed to be okay with that? I
love
you, Alex. You’re asking me to sit back and watch a disaster unfold.”

“I imagine it seems that way, but Agent Terron assures me the house will be well monitored.”

“Fuck Agent Terron.” He rushed to her and grabbed her arms. “He’ll tell you whatever you want to hear as long as you’ll risk your life to give him what he wants. Have you seen the size of Zachary Hartwell’s estate?”

“No.”

“It’s fucking enormous. This is no good, Alex. Ethan pays me big bucks to assess risks just like this one, and I’m telling you this is no good.”

She sighed again, her eyes weary. “This is an opportunity to get closer to Abby. I have to take it.”

He turned away as embers of anger burned bright in his chest. Her calmness was infuriating. “Are you listening to what I’m saying? You’re playing a deadly game here. Why can’t I make you
see
that?” He whirled back as the flames grew hotter. “There’s a huge chance none of this will lead to Abby. What if all of this is for nothing but now they have you both? You’re not thinking this through. This is madness.” He began to pace as fear overtook him. “This is
stupid
.”

“This is not stupid.” She took a step toward the door. “I’m trying to save my sister’s
life
.”

“And I’m trying to save yours. Fucking-A, Alex.”

“Don’t speak to me that way. This conversation is over if you’re going to be unkind.”

“
Unkind
,” he laughed as he advanced on her. “You think I’m being
unkind
? You have no idea what
unkind
is. I’m just fucking pissed, but I’m not cruel.” He took her arms again and backed her against the door, wanting to send his point home. “But Eric is—and Renzo. They don’t give two shits about you. Do you know what you’ll be doing tomorrow night when you walk through that door?” He pressed himself against her and yanked her white sleeveless blouse open, sending buttons flying.

“Stop,” she shuddered.

“Stop? Do you think they respect that word, Alex? Do you think they’ll back off and walk away just because you want them too?”

“Why are you doing this?” She pushed at his chest. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Because I’m giving you a little taste of what you’re in for. Do you think tomorrow will be anything like tonight? There won’t be cops just steps away ready to jump in and save you.” A tear trailed down her cheek, but he kept going. “What, can’t you handle it? It’ll be so much worse,” he fired at her. “Eric won’t be so gentle with his kisses if and when he decides he’ll have a few.”

She stopped struggling against him. “You saw that? You saw him kiss me?”

“I told you I saw everything.” The jealousy bubbled up, despite his best intentions to dismiss the whole thing, knowing that was the least of their troubles.

“I’m sorry, Jack.” She took his face in her hands. “It didn’t mean anything.”

“Just part of the gig, right?” He sent her a humorless smile.

“Yes. Kissing Eric made me sick. I only want you.”

“Lies. Kisses. Broken deals. But the end justifies the means, right?” He pressed himself closer. “What else will you do to get to your sister?”

“Not what you think. I only want you, Jack.” Instead of pushing him away, she pulled him closer, and something changed. The urgency humming in the air no longer had anything to do with Eric Stevens or the sex ring. “I only want you,” she repeated.

His breath heaved out, mingling with hers as they eyed each other.

“Only you, Jack.”

He nipped her lip as he glided his palms over the back of her thighs and under her skirt. “Show me.” He grabbed her ass and brought her against him.

“Not like this,” she panted. “Not when you’re angry.” Despite her words, her fingers curled at the nape of his neck.

“Does it really matter?” He crushed his mouth to hers, and tongue met tongue.

“Jack—” her word ended on a strangled gasp when he pushed her panties aside and shoved his fingers in deep. Wanting to dominate, he worked her to a violent peak as he held her gaze.

Moaning, breathless, she sagged against the door, but he wasn’t finished. Sex seemed to be their only connection these days, the only place where they made any sense. He sent his fingers to work again, and her eyes widened as she let loose a strangled cry. “I hated him touching you. I hated him tasting you. I hate that you won’t listen to me,” he said, then he took her mouth again.

Tongues danced to the rhythm of his plunging fingers and she clutched at his shoulders and groaned loud and long. “Jack. Jack, come lie down with me. I want you to lie down with me.”

“No.” He didn’t want tenderness right now, or to be soothed. He wanted to show her he was the only one. He tossed her blouse aside and yanked her clinging yellow top up over her head. Her bra followed with a flick of the wrist. He played his palms over her hardened nipples and nibbled her lips until she whimpered and her hands started a frantic journey of their own.

She threw his shirt aside and her long, cool fingers moved over his chest, his stomach, sending him into overdrive as he sent her flossy panties to the rug.

“Jack, come to the bed,” she muffled against his neck in between gasps.

“Right here.” He freed himself, lifted her skirt, and rammed into her hot wetness. Frozen, stunned from the indescribable pleasure, he groaned when her muscles pulsed around him.

“Oh, God, God…” She clutched at his shoulders as her body went rigid.

He swallowed her cries and gripped her hips, desperate to bring her even higher. Holding on, he shoved himself deeper with each violent thrust, never letting up when she bowed back, tensing, and came yet again. He followed seconds later on a primal grunt as he emptied himself inside her.

They stared at each other as their breath heaved. Alex’s face was damp and flushed, her eyes glassy, her lips swollen. “What—what was
that
?”

They had never been like that before and never would be again. There had been no kindness, no affection. He shrugged, trying to dismiss the shame swamping him as Alex’s confused gaze continued to hold his. “I don’t know.” He freed himself from her, stepped back, and pulled up his pants.

“Are you punishing me? Are you showing us both that I’m still yours?”

He clenched his jaw, saying nothing as she hit the mark.

“I won’t let you use us like this. Don’t ever do that again.” She reached down for his t-shirt and yanked it over her head.

“You didn’t exactly stop me, but you didn’t exactly stop
him
either.” What the hell was he
doing
?

Her rosy cheeks paled, and her eyes widened as she whirled and twisted the doorknob.

He reached out and took her arm. “I’m sorry.” He pulled her back against him and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry.”

She sniffled.

He nuzzled his face in her hair. “That was below the belt, and I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry,” he repeated.

“I don’t want it to be like this, Jack. I don’t want us to be like this.”

“I don’t either.” He turned her to face him. “Cancel tomorrow night,” he pleaded. “Let me take you and Olivia back to LA where it’s safe. We need to fix us before it’s too late.”

“I want to, but it’s not that easy.”

“Yes, it
is
. You’re the only one who can stop this now.”

“And what about Abby?”

“We’ll find another way.”

“No, we won’t.”

“Alex, please.” He pressed his hands against her skin.

“I don’t want to go tomorrow night. I’m scared—terrified—but there’s no other way. Do you think I needed your…demonstration to understand what might happen to me?”

He clenched his jaw as he absorbed her verbal sucker punch. “Low blow, and I deserve it.” He closed his eyes. “You’re desperate to get Abby back. I know that, but this isn’t the
way
. Sending you into a no-win situation isn’t the solution.”

“From any angle you look at this, it’s a no-win situation. It has been all along. I have to do this, Jack. Why can’t you understand?”

“Because every instinct in my body is telling me this is wrong. My gut is screaming that something bad is going to happen. You’re their next target.”

“That doesn’t help me.”

“I don’t know what else you want me to say.” He tossed his hands up in the air and let them fall. “The woman I love is walking in to a trap, and I’m just supposed to pat you on the head and say, ‘Go get ‘em tiger’? What do you want from me?”

“To be here. To support me.”

“I am. I’m right here.” He pulled her to him and rested his forehead against hers. “I’m right here, Alex, but I can’t tell you what you want to hear. I don’t think this is the right approach. I don’t think this is what’s best for you or Olivia
or
Abby.”

“Then what is?” she snapped and pulled away. “What is, Jack?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t.”

“That’s so helpful.” She burst into tears. “God.” She swiped her wet cheeks. “We’ve exhausted every other effort. This is the only one getting us results.”

“And when does it stop?”

“When Abby’s home. I can do this, Jack. I believe I can do this. Why don’t you?”

“This has nothing to do with a lack of faith in you; it’s a matter of not being able to ensure your safety. That’s all I care about. I want you safe.”

“What about my sister?”

“What about Olivia? What about your daughter, Alex? What if they take you tomorrow night? What if I can’t get you back? What do I tell our little girl?”

Alex sat on the edge of the bed and covered her face as her tears streamed faster. “Don’t use Livy that way, Jack.”

He crouched in front of her. “I’ll use anything I can to put a stop to this. I can’t lose you again, Alex. I love you. I need you.”

She dropped her hands and looked at him. “That’s what this is about: you. Somehow it always comes back to what
you
need.
You
can’t lose me.
You
need me.” She rushed to her feet. “This isn’t about Livy or my sister rotting in hell. You’re afraid.”

“Damn right I’m afraid.” He stood, growing more pissed by the second.

“You’re selfish.” She pushed at him.

“What?” He captured her wrists. “How is worrying about you selfish?”

“Because you’re more concerned with how this affects you than anyone else.”

“Bullshit.” Her accusation hurt him as much as it angered. “You’re the one with a one-track mind. It’s Abby or nothing and damn the rest.”