Forever Alexa (Book Four In The Bodyguards Of L.A. County Series) (36 page)

“And take Olivia along for the ride.”

She gasped from the shock of his well-aimed blow. “How dare you. How dare you stand there and say that to me in your smug tone. You have no idea what this is like. They’re killing my
sister
. They’re killing her by inches. Every day that she’s trapped in a life she never asked for, she’s dying. How can you ask me to turn my back on that?”

Undone by Jack’s callousness, she yanked up the pen by the phone and scribbled her name on the highlighted spaces requiring her signature. “There.” She tossed the papers at him, and they sailed to the floor as she walked off, leaving him staring after her.

Jackson sat beside Olivia at the dining room table. She hadn’t stopped talking since she came clamoring through the door half an hour before, loaded down with souvenirs and dragging his tired parents behind her.

“The sharks were very big. I didn’t like them. But they can’t hurt me, right Grampy?”

“That’s right, honey.” He gave Olivia a wink and a smile. “The glass is thick and strong.”

“The glass is strong,” Livy repeated as she shoveled up a bite of grilled chicken slathered in barbeque sauce.

“Sounds like you had a great time, Liv.” Jackson tried to muster up some enthusiasm for his little girl, but it was a struggle. He slid a glance to the right, in Alex’s direction on the other side of their daughter. She hadn’t looked at him since their conversation in the kitchen. He couldn’t blame her.

He remembered his cool, self-righteous tone and winced. It hadn’t been his intention to scare her shitless. He set his fork down and sighed. Yeah it had, but the extra dollop of asshole he’d thrown into the mix had been unplanned. He screwed up—plain and simple—and ended up hurting her even more.

Everything he’d said to Alex was true. The stakes were high and incredibly dangerous. He was terrified—for Alex, for Olivia—and was handling it like a moron. It was knee-jerk to want to keep her safe and whisk her and their daughter away. If he could get away with it, he probably would—State’s witness or no State’s witness.
They’re killing my sister. They’re killing her by inches.
Her wrenching eyes had simply undone him when she’d tossed those words at him.

He glanced her way again, noting the misery in her eyes despite her attempt at cheerful conversation. He clenched his jaw, yearning to give comfort, and realized he couldn’t take her back to LA, or anywhere for that matter. Alex had to do this. She had to keep her ‘date.’ Abby wasn’t the only one dying inside. Alex died a little each day too. He and Tucker would get her through Friday night’s operation—two or three hours of pure hell. They’d handled worse situations. Detective Canon would have his chance to gather new leads, but all bets were off once the sting was over. Saturday he was taking Alex and Olivia home. They were going back to LA.

“…and the crab. He was
so
pinchy.” Olivia’s fingers turned into enthusiastic little pinchers as she demonstrated for the table. “Huh, Grammy?”

“That’s right, my brilliant girl.”

Alex made a grab to save Olivia’s cup of milk before the glass toppled. “I’m glad you’re excited, Livy, but I want you to eat some of your dinner.”

“Sorry, mommy.”

“That’s okay.” Alex touched the tip of Livy’s nose and smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Livy quieted as she attempted to fork up a bite of confetti-sized salad. “I can’t—I can’t get any lettuce, Mommy.”

“Use your spoon, sweetie.”

“Guess your mom didn’t want anyone choking tonight.” Grampy winked at Olivia, then at Alex.

“I’m sorry, George. I guess I got a little carried away with the chopping.” Alex toyed with her chicken, then set her fork down.

“I’m just teasing. It all goes down the same whether you have to chew or not.” Dad chuckled at his own joke, and Jackson shook his head as his mother muttered something. “Is this thing on?” His father tapped his imaginary microphone. “Rough crowd tonight.”

Livy giggled. “Rough crowd, Grampy.”

“So,” Mom interjected when the room fell silent, “how was
your
day, Jackson and Alexa?”

“Fine,” the two of them said in unison. They glanced at each other, but Alexa quickly broke their stare. Had they truly laughed and had fun just hours before?

“When I spoke with Alexa on the phone, she mentioned you got stuck in the storm.”

Jackson flashed back to the thunder and lightning and Alex’s gorgeous naked body moving with his. “Yeah. It was a doozy.” He stabbed up a large piece of chicken and popped the bite in his mouth, wanting to drop the subject.

“And what about you, Tucker? Did you have a nice time on your adventure to DC?”

“It was stellar, Mrs. Mathews. I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a meeting so much.” Tucker grinned.

“You’re a handsome devil, Tucker. A handsome devil with a wily smile. Do you have a beautiful woman waiting for you in California?”

“I thought you were my beautiful woman.”

Mom laughed. “You need someone with spice. There’s too much mischief behind those eyes. Isn’t that right, Jackson?”

“You call it mischief; I call it bullshi—” he cut himself off when he caught his daughter’s eye.

“Daddy, did you use the fishing pole today? Did you bring me any pink fishies?”

“No. No pink fishies, Liv.” He smiled and tugged gently at her ponytail.

She grinned. “I saw pink fishies at the shark place. They were mommies and daddies.”

“Oh yeah?” He reached for his glass of milk and took a big swallow.

“Yes. They gave each other kisses like you and mommy do. Kissy. Kissy. Kissy.” Livy slapped a hand over her barbeque-mess mouth, trying to suppress her giggles.

Alex pushed away from the table. “Livy, are you finished with your meal?”

“Yes, I’m full.”

“You need a bath.” Alex scooted Olivia’s chair back and pulled their daughter into her arms, transferring Olivia’s mess to her own clothes and arms. “If you’ll excuse us. Oh, and don’t worry about the dishes, Mom. I’ll take care of them after I have Livy settled in for the night.”

“Come on, Daddy.” Livy held out her hand.

“Daddy’s busy, sweetie. We’ll see him later,” Alex chimed in.

Livy’s tired eyes filled with tears. “But I want Daddy too.”

He wanted to give Alex the space she clearly sought, but Livy’s needs came first. “I’m coming, Liv.” He stood.

Alex turned and headed for the stairs.

“Wait for Daddy, Mommy.”

“He’s right behind us, honey.” She kept going.

“
Wait
, Mommy. Waiting is polite, right?”

Trapped by manners, Alex stopped on the first stair. “Yes it is.” Alex was forced to look in his eyes when he stayed at the foot of the steps.

“I’m right here, Liv.”

Olivia glanced from him to Alex.

“Kiss Mommy, Daddy. Like a kissy fishy.”

“We need to get you in the tub. You’re covered in sauce.”

“Kiss like a kissy fishy!” their daughter demanded louder, and her lip trembled.

“Olivia, that’s enough now,” Alex scolded.

“She’s probably picking up on the tension.”

“I imagine you’re right.” Alex rubbed Livy’s back and pressed her cheek to her hair.

“Kissy fishy, Mommy,” Livy whispered.

“Okay, kissy fish.” She smiled at their daughter, and then looked to Jackson.

They leaned in toward each other. Their lips met briefly, then Alex pulled away. She turned to take the next step, and he snagged her arm. “I’m sorry, Alex.”

She attempted to free herself, but he held her still. “I’m sorry for…everything.” How could he say what he needed to, the way he wanted to, with their little girl blinking at him with curious eyes?

“Daddy said sorry. Isn’t that nice? Do you feel better, Mommy?”

“Yes, much better.” She turned and walked up the stair with hurt and anger still clouding her eyes.

This had to work. But what if it didn’t? “Oh
enough
.” Tired of her endless racing thoughts, she turned off the light and stepped from the bathroom. She slipped on her strappy white sandals, grabbed her purse, and walked into the hall. She stopped short when Jack came out of the office.

They’d barely spoken over the last two days. They’d cared for Livy together with the most basic of conversations and a solid wall of tension between them. Jack had apologized late Wednesday night after Livy had gone to bed, and she’d accepted, but there was no peace. Everything was different now. Jack’s sense of humor had vanished, and her guard was up, waiting for him to walk away after he met his obligations set forth by Ethan Cooke Security’s legal contracts. She’d hurt him, and he her, but that was only half their problem. The enormity of their situation loomed like a black cloud, smothering any dredges of happiness.

Jack had changed. He no longer laughed and joked when they took Livy to the park, grocery store, or any of the other places they visited; instead, he kept her and Livy close, scrutinizing everyone, analyzing, looking for potential danger. Danger
she
had put them in.

By day, they sat next to each other at the breakfast table or on the couch when Livy insisted they watch movies snuggled together, but he no longer slept in their bed. The nights were endless while she lay alone with their daughter, worrying about Abby and her little girl’s safety and the uncertain future she had with Jack. Any progress they made at rebuilding a life together had come to a screeching halt. Any hope she’d allowed herself to feel was unraveling. They had come so far only to lose it all again. It crushed her heart to stare at the man she loved while he looked at her as a client. For surely that’s what she was now—a ‘principal’ under his protection. She lifted her chin against the pain and started past him to the stairs.

He snagged hold of her arm. “How you holding up?”

“Fine. I’m fine.” She reached for the charm on her necklace and immediately dropped her hand.

Jack held her gaze, studying, and nodded. “Good. Tucker should be ready in a couple minutes.”

“Good. Great.” God this was painful.

“Our flight is booked for tomorrow—ten AM.”

“We’re all packed.”

“LA or bust.”

She gave him a stiff smile, then nibbled her lip, drowning in discomfort. “I, uh… I should say goodnight to Livy.”

“Yeah, sure. Be careful tonight. Listen to Tucker.”

She didn’t want Tucker; she wanted him. More than anything, she needed Jack to wrap her in a hug and tell her everything was going to be okay, but he didn’t. “Thanks. I will.” She turned for the stairs, struggling to hold back her tears. Crying was a useless indulgence that would change nothing. She stepped over the threshold into the kitchen, and her despair instantly vanished into delight as she watched her little girl chattering away with Grammy while they worked on a twenty-four-piece puzzle of the Disney princesses. “Look how well you’re doing, Ms. Smarty. You almost have all the edges together.”

Livy glanced up and gasped. “Mommy.”

She smiled at Livy’s sheer astonishment. “Kinda silly, huh?”

“I want to play dress up too!” Livy got out of her chair. “Grammy, let’s have a tea party. I want my princess dress.”

“Wait, sweetie.” Alexa crouched in front of her eager daughter. “I can’t play dress up with you right now.”

Livy’s face fell.

“I’m sorry, honey. I want to stay home and play. You have no idea how much, but I have to help someone very special to us.”

“Who?”

“Auntie Ab needs me.”

“Auntie Ab.” Livy brightened. “Bring her here. I miss her very, very much. Where did she go?”

“She had to leave for a while.” Alexa hugged Livy tight, relieved that her little girl didn’t seem to remember the traumatic moment at the rest stop. “I miss her too—very, very much. She can’t come here right now, but hopefully soon. Will you stay here and be a good girl for Daddy and Grammy?”

“Yes.”

“I want you in bed on time. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

“We’re going on a plane to see my puppy. I miss Mutt, and Kylee too.”

“You’ll see them both in the afternoon.” She kissed her finger and touched Livy’s nose. “Have fun, sweetie.”

“You know,” Carol said as she stood, “I think Livy and I are going to be princesses and have a little party after all—a going away party.”

Livy jumped up and down. “A
party! I
have
to be a princess now, Mommy.”

Alexa gave her sweet girl another hug. “Okay. I love you. I’ll be home not long after you’ve gone to sleep.”

“Okay. Daddy will leave my light on. He doesn’t sleep with us anymore.”

Alexa winced inwardly and met Carol’s knowing eyes. “Daddy will leave your light on. I need to go.” She stood.