Forever and Always (24 page)

“Sam I think you should leave now” She said as she wiped the tears from her face. She walked towards the front door and reached for the handle. Before she could open it he was behind her and he pressed his hands against the door either side of her head.

“Don’t do this” Sam begged her. He was so close to her she could feel his breath on the back of her neck. “I know this is not what you want”.

“Sam I am marrying Simon” she sobbed without turning to face him. Her heart was beating so fast it made her head spin. She pressed her forehead against the door and sighed.

“Then tell me” he whispered, his mouth softly brushing against her ear. “Tell me you don’t love me. Turn around and look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want me as much as I want you right now”.

Melanie took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she slowly turned to face Sam. When she finally opened her eyes they immediately locked with his. She wished she could tell him she didn’t love him. She wished she could be strong and tell him to leave but she couldn’t say the words. She looked into his eyes and she knew she had never stopped loving him. Not for a single moment over the past seven years.

“You can’t say it, can you” he whispered. Melanie didn’t reply. Her gaze dropped to the floor. She willed herself to be strong but she failed miserably.

Sam tilted her head back up so her eyes looked up into his eyes and his softly kissed her lips. He pulled her closer to him and pressed her against the door, one hand sliding up to the nape of her neck and the other wrapped firmly around her back. His kiss deepend and became
more hungry
. His tongue gently caressed hers making her groan softly into his mouth.

She slowly pushed his jacket from his shoulders and it fell to the floor. Slowly he backed up, taking her with him as he moved. Suddenly Melanie realised she was standing in her bedroom. Sam slow began to easy her t-shirt up her body and over her head. Then he unhooked her bra and slid it down her arms.

He dropped to his knees in front of her and as he softly kissed crossed her stomach from one hip to the other and he slowly undid the buttons on her jeans. He reached down and slipped off her two shoes. Then slipping his fingers inside her waist band, he eased her jeans and her panties down her legs, trailing kisses from her hip down to her thigh.

Suddenly he was back on his feet and pulling his own t-shirt over his head.

She stood in front of him naked but she didn’t feel embarrassed. Even thought she was completely aware of her scar, it didn’t seem to matter. He made her feel beautiful and desirable. He gently pulled her to him and softly kissed her neck. His hand traced down her body and when he reached the base of her back. He spread his hand on her back and pushed her closer to him. As her confidence grew she reached for the belt on his jeans and she slowly opened it. She pulled the button on his jeans opened and slipped her hand inside the rim and pushed them to the ground freeing his erection and showing his longing for her. He quickly kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks. Then he kicked his jeans from around his ankles.

Sam slowly moved her back to the bed and pulled the duvet from it before he lowered her back on to it. Then he climbed on top of her and slipped his legs in between hers. He leaned over her his eyes locking with hers. Slowly he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her like he had never kissed her before.

He pushed his erection again her until he found the right spot and softly he pushed inside her. It felt so familiar and right. When he began to move, his rhythm was slow and gentle.

Melanie pulled him to her and her body tilted up to meet him thrust for thrust.

“Sam” she cried as her heart raced and her breathing became harsher. She had missed his touch so much. He knew her body so well. Simon had never filled her with such desire like Sam did. As his rhythm became faster and harder she could feel her body quiver inside and she pulled him tighter to her.

“Oh God” she cried and he pushed her higher and higher until finally she came calling out his name. Her cry was enough to push him over the edge too as he pushed into her one more time as he found his release, calling her name. “Melanie”.

They spent the night together in each other’s arm. Sam gently stroked Melanie’s naked back as she rested her head against his chest. She listened to his heart beating and it sounded so familiar.  Melanie drifted off to sleep and for the first time in years she slept straight through the night without waking suddenly with a feeling of panic.
Something that happened usually on a nightly basis.

When Melanie woke Sam was lying
beside
her watching her intently.

“Good morning beautiful” Sam said and smiled then kissed her gently on the forehead.
“God how I have missed waking up next to you”.

“I missed you too” Melanie replied shyly. Sam leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips.

“I wish we could stay like this forever” she sighed and rested her head on his chest. “But we can’t. I have made such a huge mess of things Sam and I need to sort it out. I don’t know how I am going to face Simon or my Mom and Dad”.

“You can’t blame yourself for how you feel Melanie” Sam said moving slightly so he could look into her face. “We can do this together. I know this is going to be hard.
Especially on Simon.
After all I know what it’s like to lose you”.

“Sam please
don’t
” Melanie said rolling away from him onto her back. “God I am such a horrible person. Everything I touch turns to crap. You really should run away as fast as you can from me”.

“Not a chance” he replied pulling her closer to him again. “You are not getting rid of me again Melanie O’ Leary. This is forever. I am going to grow old with you and we are going to have lots of babies and grandbabies and we are going to sit on the back porch of our house on our beach and watch them play in the sand”.

His words brought Melanie’s world suddenly crashing down around her. She sat up abruptly in the bed pulled the sheets tightly around her. She still needed to tell him about the baby and the fact that she can no longer have kids. She knew this was something he felt very strongly about and she wondered how he will react when she told him

“Melanie, what is it” Sam asked, his voice filled with fear that she was about to bolt again. He knew she was hiding something and he didn’t know how to reach her and get her to open up to him the way she used to. “Please talk to me”.

Melanie wanted to tell him the truth. She wanted to tell him everything right there and then but she was scared. She knew once she told him she could never take it back and he would never look at her the same again. But she knew she needed to tell him the truth.

“Sam I don’t know where to begin” she confessed. “The thing is when I came home from the Cape I was such a mess. I was hurt and angry. I pushed everyone away. When I looked into the mirror I didn’t recognise the person looking back at me”.

“I am so sorry Melanie” he whispered and he pulled her to him. She closed her eyes and allowed him to wrap her in his strong arms and she felt instantly better. Maybe she could tell him the truth and it would be ok.

“Sam the night of my birthday” she said and took a deep breath before she continued. “When I got your text, I felt for the first time there was hope. I wanted to talk to you so much it hurt. But I needed time to think about what it was I wanted to say and more importantly what I wanted to hear”.

“But you didn’t call me back” he said sadly, as is the memory was still hurt him. “I waited all night for you but the call never came”.

“I know. And I am so sorry” she replied, unable to look at him anymore. She realised in that moment she had hurt him as much as he had hurt her and the thought broke her heart. Once again tears filled her eyes and quickly trickled down her face
.“
I swear I had fully intended to call you back that night. I never meant to hurt you like I did but what happened was out of my control”.

“Hey” he said as he wiped the tears from her face. “Please don’t cry. None of that matters anymore. What ever happened doesn’t mean anything. All that matters is that we have found each other once more and I am never going to let you get away again”.

“Sam
please
, there is something else I need to tell you” Melanie said looking him in eyes. He had never seen her look so scared or worried before.

“You can tell me anything” he said and gave her a reassuring smile.

But before she could say another word the buzzer on her intercom sounded. A look of pure panic washed across her face. Who the hell could be at her door at nine o’clock on a Sunday morning?

“Shit” she said as she quickly jumped out of bed and pulled a pair of leggings from one of her drawers and pulled them on hastily. She quickly pulled opened another drawer and pulled out a baby pink over sized t-shirt. “Who the hell can that be at this hour?”

Sam watched Melanie as she quickly dressed in a panic. He had never seen her so unravelled and freaked. He quickly jumped up from the bed and pulled her into his arms and held her tightly.

“Stop” he said calmly. “We will sort this out together. I promise I will be with you every step of the way”.

“Sam I am very grateful for the offer” Melanie replied and smiled. “But this is something I need to deal with myself. And I don’t want anyone to find out before Simon. Sam if I am going to break up with him and break his heart, I think I owe it to him to be the one to tell him. I don’t want him to find out from someone else”.

“If?”
Sam replied anxiously.

“I am going to break up with him” Melanie reassured Sam. The buzzer on the intercom sounded again. “Please Sam”.

“Ok, I will wait in here” he replied and kissed her on the forehead. Melanie smiled and then left the bedroom closing the door behind her. She quickly grabbed Sam jacket from the floor where it was dropped the night before and hid it in the closet beside the front door. She took a moment to clam herself down then picked up the receiver on the door.

“Hello” she finally said into the handset of the intercom.

“Jesus Mel” Lucy’s voice came bursting through the hand set. “What the hell kept you?”

“Good morning to you too Lucy” Melanie replied and buzzed to let Lucy into the building. While she waited for Lucy to reach her apartment she quickly tidied around.

Lucy reached the apartment in record time. She hadn’t waited for the lift instead she took the stair and Melanie thought judging from her breathlessness she must have taken them two at a time.

“Hey Lucy” Melanie said as she watched her friend gasping for breath. “Is everything ok? What brings you here at this hour on a Sunday morning? And where is Calum?”

“I dropped Calum at my Mom’s” Lucy said when she finally caught her breath. “I wasn’t entirely sure what I would be walking into when I got here”.

“Excuse me” Melanie replied, a little taken back by her friend’s comment.

“I had James on the phone at six o’clock this morning” Lucy said as she slipped off her coat and threw it on the cream armchair. “Simon was freaking out last night. He said he spoke to you and something was wrong. He said you were acting weird and seemed upset. Simon was going to get the first plane back this morning. James managed to talk him out of it but promised he’d get me to come straight around here first thing this morning and check on you”.

“Oh God” Melanie exclaimed as a wave of guilt washed over her.

“It’s him isn’t” Lucy said her tone was almost accusatory. “You have let Sam get back inside your head and now you are going to fuck up everything with Simon. I mean Sam seems like a really nice guy but have you forgotten how messed up you were when you came back from America. We all thought you were going to end up in the loony bin. You fell to pieces and that was even before what happened the night of your birthday”.

Melanie’s eyes instinctively darted to her bedroom door. She knew Sam would be able to hear Lucy and she didn’t want him to hear all her secrets like this.

Lucy’s face froze when she saw Melanie reaction and quickly followed her eyes to the bedroom door.

“He is here, isn’t he?” Lucy said
,
her voice mixed with both shock and disbelief. “Jesus Melanie what were you thinking? What about Simon?”

“Lucy I don’t know what I was thinking” Melanie snapped back. “I haven’t known what I was thinking for the last seven year. I have walked around trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be. I had to pretend I was just fine even though my life had fallen apart. I have lived every day for the last seven years with people watching me. Waiting for me to freak out or fall to pieces. Everyone worrying what way I will reacted to every little thing, and God forbid if someone was having a baby, I was always the last to know and then I was avoided for weeks”.

“That not fair Melanie” Lucy shot back angrily. Angry was something Lucy rarely got so her tone surprised Melanie. “We have just been concerned about you”.

“But it’s is driving me mad” Melanie shouted back feeling exasperated. “Everything changed back then and you all treated me differently and still do. But Sam doesn’t. And for the first time in seven years I feel normal again. And the only thing I am sure of right now is how much I love him”.