Forever Is Over (69 page)

“
How are you feeling?
”
Amy asked in the tone of a post-operation
nurse.

“
Great!
”
I lied. I still felt drunk but
‘
ill
’
drunk not
‘
on top of the
world
’
drunk.

“
What time is it?
”
I asked despite having a watch on.

“
Half past ten.
”
Jim replied with a tone which hinted at more than
a little bitterness.

“
You
’
re kidding me!
”

“
I wish I was, but straight up, it
’
s half past ten!
”

“
I
’
ve been asleep for four and a half hours! What happened to
waking me up after half an
hour?
”
I asked trying to shift the blame
back to Jim.

“
I kept trying to wake you up, Richie and you kept telling me to
piss off!
”

“
You did!
”
Amy agreed.

Perhaps to level things out, Jim piped up with,

“
Amy was just telling me, she
’
s heard from Kelly.
”

Jim said this in such a matter of fact way, as though he thought I
probably wouldn
’
t really be interested, when he knew damn well I would
be. He said it as though it would have had little bearing on my life, like
if him and Amy had been discussing England
’
s recent performances in
the
“
World Netball Championship
”
.

“
Did you hear, we won the netball today against Australia, eight-
four, the goal shooter scored six points, the goal attack two?
”

             
In reality, I was about as interested as I would be in the Ashes
score or the World Cup Final score in football (if I had been locked in
a cupboard whilst England were in the final). I was desperate to hear
more. I shook my head from side to si
de like a rain soaked dog in a
monsoon, in an attempt to sober up and then stood myself up like a
labyrinthitis sufferer.

“
You
’
ve heard from Kelly?
”
I enquired of Amy.

“
Yes. Last week. She phoned up.
”

“
Where did she phone from?
”

“
Singapore.
”

“
Singapore?
”

“
It
’
s in Asia.
”

“
Amy, I know where it is, I just don
’
t know what Kelly
’
s doing there!
”

“
I don
’
t know either,
”
Amy explained,
“
she just phoned last Sunday
afternoon.

She didn
’
t have much money, so I only spoke to her for two minutes.
”

“
Is she OK?
”

“
She said she was fine.
”

“
Why is she in Singapore? That
’
s just crazy, she
’
s seventeen years
old, on her own in Singapore.
”

“
I
’
ve no idea what made her go there, she just rang to see what the
situation was with Jemma.
”

I could feel a disaster coming.

“
Amy, please tell me you did not tell her that Jemma has gone to
jail for three years!
”

Amy pulled a face.

“
Well wha
t was I supposed to do, Richie?
Tell Kelly that Jemma got
off
! Just suppose Kelly had headed home on the basis that she thought
the coast was clear and was then arrested the second she stepped on
British soil, for being accessory to murder. How do you think I would
feel then?
”

My heart sank. Amy had a point, but it was not a point that I
wanted to hear.

“
She
’
ll never come back now.
”

“
Richie, that
’
s not my fault! She asked me a question and I gave her
a straight answer.
”

I was annoyed with Amy, or to be brutally honest, I was just drunk
and annoyed so it was convenient to blame Amy.

“
Why didn
’
t you tell me last week that she
’
d phoned you?
”

“
I haven
’
t seen you.
”

“
Ever heard of a phone?
”

“
I
’
m telling you now, aren
’
t I?
”

“
A week too late.
”

“
A week too late for what, Richie? What could you have possibly
done in the last week?
”

“
I could have stopped thinking she was dead for starters!
”
Things were getting heated. Jim decided to bale.

“
Right,
”
he said poking his head between the warring factions,
“
I
’
m
going to leave you lovebirds to sort out your differences. I hate it in here.
I
’
m heading down to
‘
The Lion
’
.
”

“
Hang on!
”
I said.
“
Is this not supposed to be my celebration night?
”

             
“
Yes, but given you have just left me
alone for the last four hours
in a bar I hate, whilst you slept the drink off, I really don
’
t think you
are in a position to get too mad with me, if I slope off to somewhere I
actually fit in.
”

Jim was right. Goths and Disraeli
’
s were not a great mix.

“
You
’
re welcome to come with me if you like.
”

For some reason, I looked at Amy, as if she was now part of our
crowd. Amy shook her head.

“
I
’
d rather stop here. My friends are here.
”

“
Ok. Thanks but no thanks, Jim. We
’
ll stop here.
”

“
No problemo. See you back home, Richie. Nice speaking to you,
Amy.
”

Jim kissed her hand and headed off. The distraction provided by Jim
gave me ample time to calm down.

“
Sorry, Amy. Kelly
’
s been gone forever, I
’
m just annoyed that she
rang you and not me. It
’
s not your fault.
”

“
It
’
s alright, I understand. You need to move on now though, Richie.
Kelly will come back when she
’
s ready, the file on her Mum
’
s murder
is probably closed now that Jemma has been convicted anyway, but I
just didn
’
t want to keep anything from her. From your perspective, you
can
’
t just put your whole life on hold, waiting for that day. If she had
wanted to, she could have phoned you, but for whatever reason, she is
choosing not to.
”

Amy was right. I knew she was right, but I was struggling to move
on. I went to the bar and bought myself a pint of blackcurrant and
soda and Amy a glass of red wine. We then stood and chatted until
last orders. Amy was out with a load of her old school mates, my old
adversary from
“
Catch A Boy, Kiss A Boy
”
, Fay Williams, was amongst
them, but Amy hardly spoke to the rest of the girls, as she seemed
content to just have a good old chinwag with me. We were kicked out
of Disraeli
’
s by twenty past eleven and given neither of us could be
bothered stopping at the Acropolis fish and chip shop, I suggested I
walk Amy up to her house. Amy
’
s house was virtually on my walk home
and she was a bit of company for me as I continued the slow sobering up
process. The alternative companion for the two mile walk home would
have been Jim, but I had no inclination to search for him as he was a
big boy and would find his own way home, even if found his way into
a ladies bedroom first.

As we walked up Prescot Road, Amy and I continued to chatter
away comfortably. I found some girls difficult to speak to as they were
pretentious and conversations became banal, but Amy was just a really
pleasant,
‘
girl next door
’
type. There were no airs and graces about her,
she was friendly, warm hearted and quick witted. We talked about the
trial and how we imagined Jemma would be finding life in jail and
discussed our reasons for not visiting her. Amy said that having visited
Jemma at Risley, she did not think she would cope emotionally visiting
her at Styal. Instead of being the tower of strength that Jemma needed,
Amy said she would just be a blubber
ing wreck. She was racked with
guilt for not going, especially as Jemma and Kelly
’
s grandmother had
recently passed away. This meant no-one was currently visiting Jemma,
which was appalling.

“
What about you, Richie?
”
Amy queried.
“
You visited Jemma in
Risley and you went to the trial, how come you have suddenly stopped
visiting too?
”

I lied and explained that when I had visited Jemma in Risley, I had
slowly developed the impression that I was not welcome, that I was only
her sister
’
s ex-boyfriend after all.

“
I
’
m sure she
’
d have been delighted to see you.
”
Amy said.
“
I
’
m
sure she
’
d have been delighted to see anyone!
”
she suggested, before
apologising for the way that had sounded!

I felt uncomfortable lying to Amy, but did not want to share the
truth with her. The truth being that I had kept away as I felt Jemma
and I were becoming too attached and I needed some time to work out
what I really wanted. The problem was that I wanted to either be with

Jemma or be with Kelly and neither of them was exactly readily available
at this point in time.

Once we reached Amy
’
s house, she asked me in for a coffee,
‘
to
warm me up for the rest of the journey home
’
. I ventured in and her
little Cocker Spaniel, Daisy, came to greet us, wagging her little tail,
ten to the dozen. As I got down on my hands and knees in the hallway
to stroke Daisy, Amy
’
s dressing gown clad parents arrived to greet Amy
and check that she had had a good night. They were a
“
touchy feely
”
family, without, I imagined, a cancer ordeal forcing them into it.