Forever Wife (11 page)

Well, healing her back would be a good place to start.  And if he renewed the protection spells around her, he would even let her reopen her riding stables, if that was still what she wanted to do.  He’d just make damn sure she never skipped a meal again!

He wandered into the kitchen, tapping each of the cupboards.  He tapped the refrigerator and freezer as well, and then began on the cupboards high above the rest.  If he ever heard her tummy so much as grumble, she was going to regret it dearly.

On a whim, just as he was stepping out
of the kitchen, he flicked the tip of his index finger towards the end of the center counter and considered himself done, there anyway. Then he returned to the bed where she slept and carefully stretched out beside her.  It was where he belonged, and where he would forever remain.

Liz yawned, stretching cautiously as she waited for the familiar pain to strike.  Nothing happened!  She stretched a bit more, glancing at the clock on the dresser.  Five-thirty a.m.  She had slept through the night without waking up for more pain pills, and still she wasn’t suffering this morning.  It was amazing, is what it was.

She rolled over, ready to thank Vidar for the fantastic backrub he had given her the night before, but was surprised to see that his side of the bed was empty.  It was mussed like he had slept there at least for a while.  She caressed the pillow where his head had lain, drew it closer and inhaled.  It still smelled of him.  Irish Spring soap blended with his own male scent, a pleasant odor she couldn’t quite place.  Vidar just always smelled nice. 

So where was he at this hour of the morning?  Maybe he was out getting groceries?  She didn’t think there was a twenty-four hour store within fifty miles of here.  Maybe he was just in his office. 

She pouted, wishing he were here!  She needed him.  She wanted him!  But obviously, his need wasn’t as great, or nothing would have kept him from her bed.  She shuddered, refusing to worry about their infant relationship until she’d had a chance to get to know him better.  She would just grab a shower and try to pretend that  she was
n’t dying here with need! 

It startled her yet again when she bent down to grab her discarded clothing from the floor that nothing hurt – anywhere!  Her back felt like it had before the accident.  It felt normal!  Maybe it wouldn’t last, but she was going to enjoy it while it did.

After her shower, she slipped into jeans, a sweatshirt and her pink bunny slippers and wandered into the kitchen more out of a force of habit than anything else.  She knew there was no breakfast cereal, no milk, no Pop Tarts – her secret sin – or frozen waffles to be had.  At best she might hope for cold, canned tuna for breakfast again this morning, and she was happy to have that.

She was very pleasantly surprised to be greeted by a beautiful arrangement of multicolored roses in a
lovely vase that looked like very expensive crystal from where it sat on the end of the island.  She buried her nose in them, eagerly drinking in their luscious scent. 
How had he managed to do that?
she wondered, but was unwilling to examine it too closely.  The gift was very unexpected, and had her near tears.

The aroma of fresh brewed coffee called to her, and she turned to see a pot on the warmer plate, and next to it, a bottle of her favorite creamer.  How
had he known?  Oh, she might have said something at dinner last night, when the waitress asked if they wanted coffee with their dessert.  She’d declined, telling Vidar that without her favorite creamer, coffee just didn’t taste good.  But it still amazed her that not only had he heard her, but he remembered.  She filled a thick mug, leaving enough room for the cream, then stirred the sweet concoction thoroughly until her coffee was the shade of coffee-flavored ice cream.  She took a tiny sip, inhaling deeply, enjoying the warm vapors that curled around her nose.

Vidar was so thoughtful!

The coffee only awakened her hunger.  She turned around, trying to drum up some interest in the tuna, but instead saw a box of her favorite Pop Tarts on the counter, with a small plate and the toaster all set out for her.

Pop Tarts!  He had bought her Pop Tarts!  He hated Pop Tarts.  He used to tell her
and her mom that Pop Tarts had no nutritional value whatsoever, and it would be more nutritious if she ate the box they came in.  But here he had bought her a full box of chocolate fudge brownie Pop Tarts!  She tore open the package and deposited two of the sweet treats into the toaster. 

Curiosity drove her to check the refrigerator.
Slowly she opened the door, feeling a bit like a kid on Christmas morning.  A package of grapes tumbled out.  She caught it before it hit the floor, but she was hard pressed to find room for it back in the fridge again.  The stainless steel Frigidaire was packed to the hilt with every kind of good food imaginable.  She saw milk and juice, fresh fruits and vegetables, packages of meat, cheese, eggs, butter, even some deli counter prepared salads and side dishes!  There were condiments, specialty breads, sauces and seasonings, and all of it labeled either organic or whole grain or both. 

Closing that door, she went to the cupboards and began pulling them open one by one.  There too, Vidar had worked his special brand of magic, for canned goods, packaged goods, and baking ingredients were stock-piled deep enough that she could probably manage to go for several months before she really had to shop again.  How did he do that!  She should be angry with him for his heavy-handed method, but all she felt was cherished. 

The toaster popped up her sugary breakfast.  She grabbed it, dropping it onto the plate before she burned her fingertips, took her coffee and raced into the den to turn on some cartoons… just like the old days.

A little while later she heard the office door open, then Vidar peered into the room.  His hair was a mess, like he had rolled right out of bed and into the office without glancing in a mirror. It was adorable.  “
Did I wake you?” he asked solicitously.

“No… not really. It wasn’t any noise you made, but rather, the lack of noise.  I think I sensed your absence and that woke me.”

“I was hoping the massage would help you sleep later.”

“Well, it helped me sleep much better, thank you.”  Liz was a bit shy about how intimately he had touched her, even though it was all in the name of easing her pain.  Just the thought of his hands on her like that had goose bumps raised all over her skin, to say nothing of achingly tightened nipples.
  She wanted him! But he didn’t seem to feel as affected.  She nibbled her lower lip, glad that he was on that side of the room.  Maybe he wouldn’t notice her sweaty palms, or the increase in her heart rate.  She tried to mask her need with lighthearted banter.  “Imagine my surprise when I got up this morning to make myself some breakfast and discovered that the grocery elves had visited.  How’d you manage to do that?”

“I still can’t believe that you were here all week with nothing to eat,” he growled.

“I had food,” she countered.

“
A couple of packs of ramen and one egg of questionable age do not constitute food.  You had no bread, no milk, no meat . . .  No wonder you’re so rail-thin.”

Silence.  He was right.

“Why didn’t you tell me your father had massive debts that you had been trying to pay off – by yourself?” he asked.  He didn’t even try to keep the admonishment out of his voice.

Liz replied, “Why are you always scolding me ?”

“Because you need it.  You need a lot more than scolding, Elizabeth.”  As he warmed to the subject, Vidar approached her, planting his hands on the couch on either side of her, trapping her. “You need someone to keep you in line, and keep you from starving yourself to death because you’re too damned proud to ask for help.”

He didn’t plan it; it just fell out of his mouth as he
started speaking. “And I am that someone, Beth, whether you like it or not.”

Her response, too, just came out automatically. 
“You are
not
.”

She wanted to lean on him!  She wanted to let him take control of her life, but he had yet to say one very important little word…. Love.  Maybe he was just feeling responsible for her. After all, he
was
her godfather. 

“Yes, I am,” Vidar insisted.  “
Who else is going to hold you to account, Elizabeth?”

“You’re ignoring the fact I’m a grown woman and I don’t
want
to be held accountable, Vidar.”  It was a lie; she definitely
did
want it and not by anyone but him.

“I know you don’t, sweetie.  But it’s the best thing for you.”  His answer was given softly but with a backbone of pure steel.  Then he whispered huskily, “And you can’t tell me that you
truly don’t want me.  I see desire written all over your face. You’re flushed, and your breathing has increased, and I bet if I were to explore you, I’d find you were quite ready for me.”

Liz buried her face behind her hands, mortified.  “Vidar, don’t,” she pleaded.

“You never answered my question.”

“Which one?” she asked, proud of the sarcastic bite she threw into it.  The man could be like an interrogator at times.

“The one about why you didn’t come to me when you knew you were in dire financial straights; that’s which one.”

She shrugged.  “Why would I go to you?  You don’t have any obligation to me.  I’m just the daughter of your employer from nearly a decade ago.”

She felt the couch dip as he sat down beside her, close, but not touching. “Is that really the way you think of me?”

What did he want her to say?
she wondered. 
That he was the only man who starred in all of her steamiest dreams?  That she secretly wished he
would
come and take her in hand, give her rules and make sure she obeyed them, make mad, passionate love to her after blistering her bottom….
  Liz knew she couldn’t say any of those things to him.  Not until she knew how he felt about her!  Did he truly love her? Did he want to spent the rest of his life with her?  Could they have the relationship her parents had shared, or was she no more than a passing fancy to him, someone to play with and then set aside like an old Christmas present he had outgrown?

Back on the island she had felt treasured… but then he’d gone to work, and
last night, well, she couldn’t even think about last night without embarrassment.  He’d spanked her! And after dinner, he’d put her to bed like a small child.  No words of love, no expressions of devotion.  Last night he had reacted more like a concerned uncle than a lover. 

She wasn’t about to bare her soul, to share her innermost secret
s when she was quite sure that she was going to have her heart handed back to her in shreds.  No, she’d much rather spend her life alone, dreaming about what might be without having those hopes and dreams dashed in the harsh reality of his rejection.

“I guess I have my answer, don’t I?” he said to break the long, soul-crushing pause.

Liz hadn’t meant to keep him hanging like that while her mind was whirling with a thousand possible responses, none of which were the truth.  But she still couldn’t come up with anything to say that wouldn’t reaffirm his supposition or reveal entirely too much about how she felt about him.

“I’ve already done some poking into what’s going on with your father’s debts and I think you might well have overpaid some of them.  I’m going to check into that and get back to you.”  His voice was flat and didn’t invite question or comment. 
Then he rose and retreated to the office.

Liz stared at the space he had vacated, tears filling her eyes.  She blinked repeated
ly, trying to staunch their flow. It was no use.  She wiped them away with her figures, but then she had to find a tissue for her nose.  Damn him!  Damn that man!  How could he do that to her, lead her on, and then leave her hanging!  Grrr!  Maybe he should just go back to his Denver office.  They seemed to get along better over the phone than in person. 

She dumped the last of her Pop Tart into the trash.  Her stomach was in too many knots to digest anything right then.  She stashed the plate in the dishwasher, slamming a few cupboard doors while imagining all the horrid things she would like to do to that man right then.

“Don’t you just look like one of the zombies from ‘Walking Dead’,” Tracy commented when she arrived an hour later with a box of donuts and a stack of fliers to mail.

“Bite me.”

“What’s got your panties in a bunch today?” her long time friend asked with real interest. 

No one, and that’s the problem
, Liz thought, but kept it to herself.  “Nothing.  Let’s just get to work, shall we?”

Work they did,
the rest of the day and into the early evening hours.  Vidar never once came out of his office – not that she could tell – not to grab a bite to eat or even to use the bathroom.  That closed wooden door was symbolic of the barricades they had built between them.  The lack of communication and trust.  The lack of commitment.  Liz did her best to drown herself in her cause, but eventually she had to let her friend go, leaving her alone to deal with the silence screaming from the office.  And that silence was named Vidar.